Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
A blonde woman got on an airplane and sat down in the first class section. Noticing this woman was in the wrong seat, the stewardess told her that she must move to coach because she didn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." Not knowing what to do, the stewardess got the head stewardess. The head stewardess asked the woman to leave the first class seat, but the woman replied "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." Both of the stewardesses didn't know how to resolve this problem, and needed to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they summoned the co-pilot. The co-pilot went up to the blonde lady and whispered something in her ear. She immediately got up and walked back to the coach section of the plane. Amazed, both stewardesses asked the copilot what he said to make woman move. The copilot replied, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".
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"The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor"
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A penny worth millions!!!
A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him. - God replied, "A million years to me is just like a single second to you."
The young man asked God what a million dollars was to him. - God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."
Then the young man got his courage up and asked, "God, could I have one of your pennies?" - God smiled and replies, "Certainly, just a second".
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"The Sixth Sense - The Sense of Humor"
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THE PRODIGAL SON
Francis the Foolish felt a filial fondness for his flawless, fastidious father, Ferdinand the Fourth. Following one February fortnight, Francis, feeling footloose and frisky, forced his fond father to fork over five hundred forty five farthings, then fled his fathers fertile fief.
Fleeing to foreign fields, Francis finally frittered away his fortune on fickle females, firkins of foaming ale, freeloading friends, and feasting.
Fleeced by those fiendish fellows of the fleshpots, and facing fateful failure and famine, Francis finally found himself flinging foul feed to the swine in a filthy farmyard as a forlorn farmhand. Footsore and famished, he fain would have filled his flaccid frame with filched food but found it fit for only a footman.
"Fie!" flared Francis, "My Father's flunkies fare far finer." Fortunately the frazzled fugitive finally faced the facts. Frustrated from failure and fulfilled foreboding, he fled forthwith to his faraway family.
Falling fatigued at his father's feet, Francis feebly phrased his feelings: "Father," he fumbled, "I've flunked - and fruitlessly forfeited family favor....forgive me." The far-sighted father, forestalling future family fissures flagged his flunkies. "Fetch a fatling from the flock and fix a feast for Francis. Forthwith. Fall to! Faster!"
Frederic the Feculent, Francis' feisty, fault-finding brother, frowned upon his father's forgiveness of Francis' former philandering. "Flog the Flounder!" he fumed. But the faithful felt that Francis' former foibles should be freely forgiven. "Filial fidelity is what fathers are for, Frederick," said Ferdinand with feelings flowing. "Forsooth, the fugitive is found, so what forbids festivity? Fly the flags freely, amid fifes, fiddles and fanfares...FLING A FEAST!"
Francis, face flushed, foreswore frippery forever more by forcing his frame into a friar's frock.
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