What do Monica and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
They both blew the big one.

Did you hear that Clinton has broken the 11th commandment?
Thou shalt not place thy rod in thy staff

Hilary found out she was pregnant. She was so infuriated that she 
went straight to the nearest phone and called the Oval Office. When
Bill answered, Hilary said, "You rotten jerk, you got me pregnant!"
There was silence on the other end of the line, which infuriated
Hilary even further. "You rotten jerk!", she screamed. "You got
me pregnant!"
Bill replied, "Uh...who is this?"

Bill Clinton has been testing a new product by the makers of Clapper:
Clap once and your pants drop to your knees. Clap twice and they 
return to their normal position.

What's the worst thing Bill ever heard during sex?
"Honey, I'm home!"

The difference between Bill and his dog Buddy is that
Buddy chases his own tail

Did you hear that Bill is supporting a new math curriculum in our 
nation's schools?
He wants everyone to know that 50 can go into 21 without getting 5
to 10

What does Bill tell Hillary after sex?
Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news!

Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica's appearance.
"She got the whitest teeth I've ever cum across!"

How did the stain get on Monica's dress?
Clinton came across her in the Oval Office

What's Bill's new pick up line?
Would you be interested in a position under the president?"

Bill's nickname for Hillary is, "My little buttercup"
Bill's nickname for Monica is, " My little suctioncup"

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Ted Kennedy get sucked up in a tornado and 
land in The Wizard of Oz
Al says,"I'm off to see the Wizard to get a new brain."
Ted says,"I'm going to get a heart."
Bill says,"Where's Dorothy"

ClintonPresidential Anthem
Kneel to the Chief

Clinton and the Pope died on the same day,and due to an administrative
foul up, Clinton was sent to heavon and the Pope goes to hell. The 
Pope explained the setuation to the devil, he checked out all of the
paperwork,and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however,
that it would take 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error.
The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye
as the Pope went off to heavon. On his was up, he met Clinton who was
on his way down, and they stopped to chat.

POPE: Sorry about the mix up
CLINTON: No problem
POPE:Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven.
CLINTON: Why's that?
POPE: All my life I"ve wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.
CLINTON: You're a day late.