MY BEST FRIEND! Meet the greatest friend any lonely,chunky girl could have...Ellen! While making a quick snack break in Food Lion,I notice this cute blonde man was following me.Every isle I wobbled up;candy,chips,and icecream,he'd follow me.Needless to say,this made me very horny!On top of that,I was very tired and hungry from pushing my three full shopping carts! While eating at the checkout line,I decided to confront him. Well to my surprise,he turned out to be a woman.She said I looked familar and asked me if I had ever played tennis.I could tell from that look in her beady eyes,she wanted to be a "special" friends.After unloading my groceries from the back of her chevy truck,she took me to a night club called Fish Fingers.It must have been ladies night only,because I didn't see any men come in the whole night.After dancing the night away to Melissa Ethridge songs,we droved to her place.I don't remember much after that drink she gave me.We must have been eating all night,like I usually do, cause I couldn't get the smell of cucumbers and carrots off me.