Seen on a bumper sticker:
"Assassins Inc. We aim to please.
We never miss an appointment."
-Lance Dolcelay
Car wash:
"Attention foreign cars - we use imported water."
-ZionXSabra
In a hospital car park in Kitakyushu, Japan:
"Anyone found parking without a permit will be given an injection" You
Think they should have threatened an enema!
-Malcolm Swanson
On a delivery truck from an egg farm:
"Better laid than ever."
On a clinical microbiology lab door: "Staph only."
-Glen Songer
On a sign in front of Manicure Salon:
"Nail your sweetheart for Valentines!"
-DebboraWil
On a sign in a Little Rock suburb outside their home:
"Anybody found here at night WILL be
A BODY found here in the morning."
-Howell R. Herrin
Sign on a tree on a ski mountain in Colorado:
"Warning: Do not ski into tree."
-Rcassol
Outside a restaurant in Beijing:
"New York Style Chinese food"
-MinuteRice
In a restaurant in Provincetown, MA on Cape Cod:
The two bathrooms signs read
"Either" and "Or".
On the side of a bakery truck for "Bimbo Bakery": "We
got some hot buns."
-CHSHERLOCK
As I was walking a saw a sign.
This is what it read:
"A bulldog for sale,
eats anything,
very fond of children."
-Mohammed Al-Jawish
On a rib joint in Alabama:
"If you didn't have ribs, you'd fall down"
-and-
At Graves & Sons (funeral home - nice name) their sign
read: "You stab 'em we slab 'em."
-Itsmissy
Seen on a parking space in a church's parking lot in
Edinburgh, IN "Clergy parking only - you park, you
preach!"
-Bryce Shehan
In Toronto, there was a bumper sticker that said: "Bald
guys keep getting more head!"
-Domenic Micieli
Seen on Men's Room door in Sudbury,
Ontario, in late 1930's:
"THIS IS A TEPEE FOR YOU TO PEE PEE,
NOT A WIGWAM TO BEAT YOUR TOM TOM."
-Harold L. Winter
On a sign in a gym for women's sports bras: "If we were
meant to bounce we would have balls."
-Brian Jagerson
Seen on a bumper sticker in Rhode Island: "I love cats,
they taste like chicken!"
-ShellAustn
Sign on local muffler and shock absorber shop in Ft.
Smith, AR: "Let us shock and exhaust you."
-Carol Bradley
A sign I have actually seen in a military "latrine"
(bathroom): Over the toilet paper dispenser:
"Another quality product of the 3M company, sandpaper
division." -Cipherguy
RELATIONSHIP BUTTONS
1. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
2. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
3. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
4. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
GENERAL LIFE
5. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
6. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
7. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
8. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
OFFICE BUTTONS
10. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
11. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
13. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
GREAT INSULT BUTTONS
14. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
15. You! Off my planet!
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