Wow, to describe the last 6 months, I would not know where to start...lets start by saying...we BEAT it...and the feelings are still too real and new to really try to describe.

November 8th, 2002, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I kept having headaches and then I could not get rid of them...My Dr. tested me for everything from soup to nuts...and kept saying lets do a scan...but I had all the symptoms of a thyroid issue. I finally agreed and within a week we knew there was a "shadow" on the scan. Once you hear something like this, the world starts to spin. I can tell you without the help and support upfront of the people we know, it would have not been beat. I remember the non believing part of this, thinking bad film, an error..everything possible. The reality came to be on November 11th when the MRI confirmed this was a brain tumor that was in the front left part of my brain, but it was 2 inches deep inside.

Telling the family was the hard part...I had a couple great friends in Rita and Maggie that knew, but that was all that knew then. The night we told my husband, and realize I waited because I did not want to put fear into my family until I knew what it was, was a rough deal. My Pastor and great "add on" family member David was here with Maggie, his wife and one of my best friends. He handled it but did have a hard time as well, which is understandable. The next day we told my 9 year old and let him know we planned on fighting this thing and beating it.

I can tell you right from the beginning I said I was going to beat this tumor...well..it did not take me long to realize alone I could not do it...but with the love, support, prayers and guidance all through this, WE BEAT IT.

First Neuro Surgeon visit, bad deal...we were told taking this out due to its location would totally debilatate me for life and most likely kill me. WOW, talk about another kick in the gut...but again, I said ok, how do we deal with it??? What do we do to beat it. Well, we were referred to University Hospital in Syracuse NY, just over an hour away from us. Our first visit to see the Dr. there, great deal. They said most likely the other team can't get it out, we can...we have the technology and the know how. By the grace of God they were right.

Support from this surgeon and his team, again, unreal and the best. Dr. Canute, Leah, Carol, I can't ever thank you all enough, you are all the best.

Tests, man, I cannot count the number I went through, the scans, xrays, MRI's, etc. December 18th I had a biopsy done to determine the type it was. Having the halo put on really scared me, but once in that room, they give you enough meds to conciously sedate you and trust me, you feel nothing and know nothing. Basically all I know is I picked on my Dr. and razzed him about messing up my hair.

After spending the night in ICU, I came home the next day and within a few was feeling as normal as ever.

TYPE of tumor, there are 4 types based on grades, 1-4. Normally 1 and 2 are benign, 3 and 4 and malignant. January 6th we found out it was a grade 2 and it needed to come out. More tests were done, surgery date was planned and life went on.

January 23rd I was admitted for my surgery. I had my head shaved (and that was my pet peeve on this, shaving my head!), but they buzzed it so there was still a military look..phew! Went through another MRI so they could "Map" my brain for the surgery on Friday the 24th. IV was done, meds given and sleep did come that night.

January 24th, I was taken into the OR at 10:20 am. The entire left side of my head was opened and surgery took place. Again it was a concious sedation because there were times they had to do brain stimulation and wake me up. 14 1/2 hours later, surgery was over and I was in ICU recovering. My stay there was mostly sleep and after 8 days in I was allowed to come home. The diagnosis was good, but now we had lots of things to consider as well.

Support at home, man, fastastic is all I can say. Between family and friends, our church, people at both my husbands and my job, unreal. Our Church cooked our dinners for 2 weeks, and we are talking right down to dessert each time. My sons school, unreal with support for him and the family. This was a terrible thing for a 9 year old to go through, but again, the people around us have made it all the easier. The cards, calls, emails, prayers, I will never be able to thank everyone enough and yes I am told, you don't have to, but in my heart I will always be grateful.

I was on multiple meds for over a month and finally just before I started radiation, I was off all of them. Radiation, wow a scary thought, but a needed treatment for the possible loose cells of that tumor. The Radiology Group at the hospital, as all others that have been there for me, totally supportive and just simply wonderful to me. I began in March and for 6 weeks, 5 times a week, 30 treatments, I finally ended all my "medical" treatments April 15th. My drive to Syracuse was 50 miles each way, so I did 100 miles a day and 500 a week. I can say without the help of friends and such, that would have been over bearing as well.

So here I am today, April 17th writing this update, still trying to get a grip on the fact that I am through this, we kicked its butt, and life is getting more normal each day. I still have swelling on the left side, muscles were cut, stitched and are healing from surgery, a slight amount of hair is lost near the left temple, but overall I didn't lose it anywhere else. Emotions have come and gone these last few days with the realization that from Tuesday on is all healing time now. I go visit my fantastic surgeon next Tuesday after one more MRI, then it is a time game of things all healing up.

Work has been fantastic in the support I have recieved from both my department, Campus Safety, to Human Resources. My co-workers I cannot say enough about, the Boss's have been very supportive and HR has made paperwork a very easy task. My goal was May 20th, at this time it doesn't look that way but with any hope, the beginning of June I will return.

So here we are, putting some feelings down on here and thoughts in hopes that, God Forbid, nobody has to experience this because in all honesty it is hell to go through. But if you or someone you know does experience it, attitude is a big part of the battle. Know that you need to be strong, grab the bull by the horns and don't let go. I can tell you there will be down times, 90% of the time I was up, but at times that 10% would get a bit of a grip and it made me fight all the harder. I had thoughts of "is this the last time" during certain times, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, my sons Christmas concert. But I never let it hang like that in my head for long.

Another part of this battle is more than one opinion and asking every question you have. The saying about no such thing as a stupid question is totally true and I can say I don't know how many times I called my Doctor's office to ask a question, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. These people, as I said, fantastic.

In July we are having a VICTORY and THANK YOU party BBQ with all those mentioned invited. I can't think of any other way to thank them and we have a fantastic reason to celebrate now. I will tell you I lived life to the fullest before, it is so much more than that even now. I thank God each day for the help, I appreciate things all the more and I have told others, I am here for them no matter what. I will tell you today I still cannot describe what this was like, what it does to you mentally, emotionally, physically. I can tell you these things are beatable and yep, we kicked its ass.