Tim, Stalker, Schmoe
(written by Elizabeth Crawford)

Tim, Stalker, Shmoe
You are a stalker
Your car is a piece of shit
You should buy at least one other shirt
You are trailer trash
You are an alcoholic
Only losers drink alone
You're a crybaby who can't fight (Tom O'Connor)
Only losers go to the police for pop spills
It's not good to have an ongoing relationship w/ the police counciler
You're a pathological liar.
Don't come to people's houses' half drunk at 11:30 at night
You have no life
You can't kiss
biteing is not good
Only losers don't know how bras work
Kissing is just too much
I think we're moving too fast

Tim, stalker, shmoe


Someone Stole Arnold's Pen
(written by Terry Powers)

I see you coming here
coming out from nowhere
I see you take Arnold's pen
You can't get away with that

He was a party city dude 
with a pen named Algor
and a bad attitude
1,2,3,4

Someone Stole Arnold's pen
and he wants it back 
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah



Kosta Marcopolous
(written by Dennis Carter)

Kosta
Kosta Marcopolous
Kosta 
Kosta Marcopolous
Kosta 
Kosta Marcopolous
Kosta
Kosta Marcopolous



Malice
(written by Dennis Carter and Adam Simon)



Self Esteem Is For Losers


Pearl Jam Can Get Down and Suck Me
(written by Terry Powers and Dennis Carter)

Pearl Jam sucks 'cause there a bunch of sold out posers 
who want to be friends with Nirvana but Nirvana is to cool for them

And Pearl Jam can  get down and suck me

I hate Eddie Vedder
He is gay
Kurt Cobain is better
Because he can play

But Pearl Jam can only play with themselves

And Pearl Jam can get down and suck me


Alf Is Back In Pog Form
(written by Dennis Carter)

I sold my sould to my friend for five bucks
But I soon found out that I was out of luck
He traded my soul for  a bunch of Alf pogs
I wanted to throw him out to the dogs

(chorus) Alf is back in pog form, yes Alf is back in pog form
Oh Alf is back in pog form and he's here to stay

So I ran out on to the street 
Thinking if I had my soul it would be sweet
by now I was almost foaming at the mouth
and i found a boy named Wiggum, Ralph
I said I need a soul, anyone will do
I said I need a soul, a soul from you

(chorus)

I went to the comic shop the next day
The guy said he had found a buyer right away
at home I said a prayer and then I cried
if Lisa hadn'tve bought my soul I'd have died


Incest Is Best
(written by Terry Powers, Dennis Carter, and 
Eric Kawa
)

Incest is best
incest is best
it's better than all the rest
so touch your mom's big breasts
cause incest is best
it's an ol' fashined Tennessee love fest
incest is best
I-N-C-E-S-T
I-S
B-E-ST



Russ Stoled My Calculater
(written by Terry Powers)

I saw him coming here
coming out from nowhere
I saw him take my calculater
he can't get away with that

he was a band fag
with one eyebrow
and a bad attitude
1,2,3,4

Russ stoled my calculater 
and I want it back 
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah


Territorial Pissings
(Written by Kurt Cobain)

When I was an alien
Cultures were opinions

Gotta find a way, a better way, I'd better wait
(chorus)

Never met a wise man
If so it's a women

(chorus)

Just because your paranoid
Don't mean they're not after you

(chorus)



For Whom the Bell Tolls
(written by Metallica)





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