Chapter
8- Part 2
"Ok baby whatever you say," he said
and walked out. I sighed and put my arms on the side of the tub. The cool air
sent chills up my spine and I slipped deeper into the still hot water. I heard a
door close and I waited for Justin to appear in the bathroom again. But he
didn't all I heard was the playing of the jazz music and the buzzing of the jets
beside me. I shrugged and hummed with the jazz music softly. I picked up a
sponge and filled it with water then squeezed it out on my shoulders. I repeated
the action on my other shoulder and relaxed. My body is aching is starting to
ache. I hate feeling weak like this. I I pretend that I’m the strong one that
I can handle the pain and everything but I can’t. I just wish this was all
over and I could get back to my life and live the way I want to with out all
this fear. "Whew girl don't be doing that if you don't plan on doing things
to back up that action," I looked up and Justin was standing in the
doorway. I sat my sponge back down and took a deep breath.
"What do you think of when you look at me," I asked. He climbed back
in the tub and sat down.
"I think about a lot of things when I look at you," he said smiling
me.
"Like what," I asked and stuck my hands in the water and pulled my
knees up close to me.
"Like how you have no idea how beautiful you really are," he said
tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked up and to my surprise he had
moved up close to me. He shot a shy reassuring grin towards me. "How
innocent you are to so much," he whispered. I looked back down at the
bubbles and closed my eyes. He gently lifted up my chin so that I was staring in
his two blue pools he has for eyes. "How smart you really are. How
incredibly strong you are. How lucky I am to be with you. That's what I think
about when I look at you," he said looking deep into my eyes. I bit my lip
as I looked down. The last thing I feel right now i strong and beautiful.
"Don't look down baby. I want to see your eyes," he whispered. I
looked up and tilted my head to the side. "So beautiful," he said
stroking the side of my face.
"Justin you are going to make my face turn red," I said.
"It already is," he said smiling. I put my hands on my cheeks and
looked down. "So cute," he said laughing a little.
"Don't laugh at me. It's not funny," I said and tried not to smile.
"Why are you smiling then," he asked. I pressed my lips together and
scowled my eyebrows.
"I'm not," I said. He laughed.
"Cameron you are so funny sometimes," he said and leaned back on the
tub. I sighed took my position back. It was uncomfortably silent.
"I called britney earlier," he nodded. "I think we’re cool
again. I guess. I really don’t know. She’s a hard one to figure out. Kinda
like you," I said mumbling the last little part. He smiled.
"What’s that supposed to mean," he asked.
"I can just see why you two were together for so long. That’s all,"
I said quietly and pressed my hand against the jet.
"What do you mean? Britney and I are nothing alike. How can you say
something like that? We were together so long because I was afraid of what would
happen with the fans and the media. Ok it had nothing to do with how compatible
we were,” he snapped. I opened my eyes wide and drew back like I was afraid of
him.
"Eeekk. Sorry for bringing it up," I said softly. he took a deep
breath and smiled.
"I just hate hearing that. You and me that’s compatible. Me looking at
you and being able to tell what’s wrong is compatible. Britney being two faced
is not," he said.
"Ok baby,” he smiled and rubbed his hand on my leg. “You are so cute
when you get mad," I said. He shook his head. “Anyway i was thinking
about doing some Christmas shopping tomorrow.”
“You know Mike is going to have to go with you,” I rolled my eyes and sighed
deeply.
"That's so stressful," I said and closed my eyes. "I just wish I
could be normal. I don't like doing all this stuff. I hate having a gate and a
code. I hate having to plant trees for privacy. And I hate not being able to
grocery shop myself," I said.
"Sweetie that's just how it's got to be. I know it's hard but we'll find
somewhere that you can shop at and not be bothered. And the trees will make the
yard better. And the gate is cool. You're just going to have to get used to
it," he said. I sighed. It's hard going from not caring if people see you
are whatever to having to worry about your safety. It’s just really annoying
more then anything. I want to go to Disney World and all those places. I want to
go to the mall by myself. But I can't it's more stress then it needs to be.
"We'll have fun. We'll go to the club and go to all the attractions. Don't
you worry. You want even realize that you have security," I smiled.
"So what's this about you guys going out tonight," I asked and picked
up some bath milk and poured a little in. He smiled and bit his lip. "What
is it honey," I asked.
"If you don't want me to go then you say it and I'm here," he said
quickly.
"Do you want to go," He shrugged. "Where are you going," I
asked.
"Well for everyone's twenty-first birthday they took them to a strip club.
So since we are all in town now. The guys want to take me out since I didn't go
when I turned twenty-one," I nodded and moved the bath water around. I
don't want him to know that I don't like it at all. "But I won’t go if
you don't want me to. They just want to get my mind of things I guess," he
said. I looked at him.
"I mean I don't think any girl is going to be like yeah baby go watch some
females take their clothes off. I don't mind," he nodded in agreement.
"Just don't get yourself in trouble," I said and lifted my leg.
"That's it," he asked. I looked up at him.
"What do you want me to say," I asked smiling.
"I thought you were going to tell me not to go," he said honestly. I
shook my head.
"I believe that you won’t go there and act like an idiot so why would I
say no. Besides if the situation was reversed I would think you would let me
go," I said. He laughed. "Oh you wouldn't," I asked.
"Honestly no," he said. I raised my eyebrows surprised that he had
said no.
"Really," I asked. He nodded.
"It's my jealous streak running through my body and fear of not being
adequate," he said.
"What do you mean," I asked.
"I mean maybe you'll see something and you'll be like wow. Justin is
lacking in that department," I laughed and shook my head.
"That want happen baby. Mr. Winky is all that I need," I said. He
laughed and shook his head.
"It sounds so funny coming from you. I just can't even imagine you talking
like that. You're so innocent and I've corrupted you," he said. I shook my
head smiling.
"No way I am not as innocent as you think I am," I said giggling. He
raised his eyebrows.
"Is that right," he asked.
“I got moves you’ve never seen," I said just like Julia Roberts said in
that movie. He smiled and looked at the wall. He nodded and looked back.
"I guess you’re going to have to show me sometime,” he said softly. I
raised one of my eyebrows and blow some of the bubbles. he shook his head again
trying to digest what I said. “Mmm well I guess I better go get something to
eat," Justin said. I looked at him. "What do you want. Broth, broth,
or broth." He asked trying to be funny.
"You are so hilarious Justin Timberlake," I said and stood up.
Everything was silent. I looked over at Justin as I wrapped a towel around my
body. His jaw was on the floor and he was just looking at me. "What,"
I said.
"You can't just stand up like that," he muttered. I smiled and stepped
out.
"Why do I not look good naked," I asked innocently.
"That is not it at all. You just have this way of making me forget what I
have to say," he said. I tucked the corner of the towel under my arm and
shook my damp hair out. "Damn," I looked back at Justin and he had the
towel around his waist.
"What," I asked. But I don't think he heard a thing I said. He was
licking his lips and had this cheesy smile across his face.
"Cameron just give me ten..." He trailed off and shook his head.
"Just forget what I was saying," he said. I smiled and walked into my
closet. I closed the door and pulled out my drawer with my underwear. It was
scarce. I don't know where it all went but I need some more. The door opened and
I was surprised and a little scared. I tried to grab something to cover up,
cause the towel was laying in a blue heap on the floor.
"Justin don't you knock," I asked and turned my back to him. He walked
in closing the door behind him.
"Did I scare you," he asked. His voice softy and sexy. I swallowed
hard.
"Yes," I said quietly. His hands touched my bare waist and I closed my
eyes and took a deep breath. His simple touch put every nerve in my body on
alert. He rubbed his hands down my thighs and I opened my mouth.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear as one of his hands moved back up
my stomach.
"It's ok," I muttered hardly audible.
"Let me make it up to you," He whispered and nibbled on my ear.
"Ok," I said and leaned my head back on his chest. What a day I'm
having!
*********** Justin
*************
I walked downstairs with a hat on my head and jeans with a white T-shirt on. I
couldn't stop smiling at all. The harder I tried the bigger the smile. All the
guys were sitting on the couch again. They came over for this night that we're
supposed to have. I kinda want to go but then again I don't. Why should I go
when I got the real thing right here for free? I heard laughing and I looked at
Chris. I reached the bottom of the stairs and walked over towards them.
"What," I asked.
"Right there baby. Oh shit. Ah damn. Oh fuck," Chris said mimicking
me. I laughed and shook my head.
"Why are you guys easing dropping. I mean damn," I said and picked up
my keys and wallet from off the table.
"Like we had much of a choice. You two are no joke. It's like there is an
intercom in your room," Joey said.
"It's all Cameron," I said quietly.
"No don't you put that on her. We really heard you towards the end so stop
tripping," I laughed and shook my head.
"Was the door opened," JC asked.
"Naw we were in her closet," I said. They busted out laughing and I
shook my head.
"What's so funny," I looked up and Cameron was walking down the
stairs. She looked so hot in one of my half shirts I wear to work out and some
tiny gray shorts.
"Nothing baby. There are just a bunch of perverts down here," I said
as she walked over to me. I could tell she didn't have a bra on and the top was
sneaking up a little to high. You could see the bottom of her breast. I pulled
down on it and she smiled. "You have a bra to put on," I asked
quietly. She shook her head no.
"That's what I wanted to tell you. I need to go underwear shopping,"
She said. I lifted the top of the shirt and fixed it so it hung lower in the
front.
"Just be careful," I said quietly. "We'll go sometime next week
and I'll wash some clothes when I get home," she nodded and rubbed her
hands on my chest.
"Can you get me some strawberry flavored apple sauce," she asked. I
licked my lips and nodded. She's totally turning me on just standing here.
"Why did your eyes get all glazed over," she asked. I smiled.
"No reason," I said quickly. She smiled and sat her hands on my waist.
"Anything else you want," I asked.
"You," she said. I smiled and kissed her nose.
"Anything else," she shook her head no. "Alright I'll be back in
like five minutes," I said. She nodded. I looked at the guys. "Ya'll
want anything," I asked as Cameron rubbed her hands up and down my chest. I
took her hands in mine. "Stop," I said quietly with a smile.
"Sorry," she said like she didn't know what she had done. I smiled and
looked back at the guys. They were shaking their heads.
"What are we eating," Lance asked.
"We have all that leftover stuff from Thanksgiving but I can pick up
anything you want," I said letting go of Cameron's hands.
"Aye make that chilly stuff you made that one time," Joey said. I
looked at Cameron and her eyes were glazed over. That's her favorite and I know
she's hungry, but she can't eat that now.
"Naw," I said.
"Why that is some good stuff," Chris asked.
"Because it's Cameron's favorite and she can't eat it. So it would be
unfair of me to make it," I said. Everyone sighed and rolled their eyes and
everything. I wanted to tell them to get the hell out my house if they had a
problem with that but Cameron stopped me.
"No sweetie go ahead and make it. I'll warm up some of that broth and then
just go to sleep. Don't worry about me," she said.
"Cameron it's your favorite food. I don't want to tempt you to eat
something that could kill your stomach," I said. She smiled.
"Baby just make it. I mean they want it," she said looking at the
guys. I glanced their way and they were nodding. "I can do it. Don't worry
about me," she said. I bit my lip and chewed at it. "Sweetie it's ok I
promise. I'll go eat right now so when you start making food I won't be
hungry," I sighed.
"You're sure," I asked.
"She's sure," Chris said a little irritated.
"Shut up," I said angrily. Cameron rubbed the side of my face.
"Hey," she said turning my head back towards her. I looked in her calm
eyes. "It's fine. I'll go see what you need to buy," she said and
walked away. I ran my tongue over my teeth and the room was silent. I wasn't
about to apologize for my outburst. They made me really mad. Like they couldn't
think of something else. The only reason why I know how to make it is because
Cameron's mom taught me. It's the exact way Cameron likes it and I don't want
her to be tempted to just even take a small taste. It would kill her and she
would be in so much pain.
"Justin," I looked up with my eyes but didn't change my stance.
"What," I said dryly.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Chris said. I didn't say anything.
"You aren't going to say anything," he asked.
"Nope," I said as Cameron walked back out with a list. She ran her
fingers through over her curly hair and stopped beside me holding the list so we
could both see it.
"Just get like some ground beef and three red and green peppers,” she
said softly. I nodded and red over the list of all the spices that were written
down in her bubbly hand writing.
"What about that other stuff," I asked.
"My mom gave me some so we have plenty of that," she said. I nodded
and stuck the list in my pocket and pulled my keys out my pocket. "I'm
going to go slurp at my broth and I'll help," she said.
"No I want you to rest," I said looking in her eyes. She smiled.
"Ok," she said. I nodded and walked outside. I shook my head as I
climbed in the car. I really don't want to do this. It's too much of a problem
for Cameron.
I stirred the thick soup like stuff and the smell filled the entire house. It
looks really good. I looked outside at Cameron. She was sitting on the swinging
bench reading a book. I sighed. She's staying away because like I said she got
tempted and wanted a taste. I'm pissed off cause she can't come inside her own
house. I could have ordered some pizza or even made pasta but they had to have
gumbo. I lifted the pot off the heat and started scooping it out the pot and
putting it on top of the rice.
"Aye if you want food get in here," I yelled. It was like a stampede.
Everyone grabbed a plate and left. I dumped the rest of the contents in a
Tupperware container and slipped it in the back of the refrigerator. I looked
and everyone was gone including the bowls. I shook my head. "You're welcome
I glad you like it. It was no problem slaving over a stove so that you could
have some damn food," I said quietly to myself. I slammed the door and
everything jingled. I pulled out two small mugs and lifted the small pot off the
stove and poured the broth into them. I picked up two spoons and the mugs and
walked outside. "Hey there," I said quietly. Cameron looked up from
watching Jaden sleeping in the little rocker in front of her and smiled.
"What you got there," she asked. I sat down beside her and handed her
a mug.
"Only the best broth on the face of the earth," I said and took a sip
of my own. She smiled at me. I sat back it wasn't that great but hey it will do.
"I wish this is all I had to eat everyday. This is the bomb girl," I
said and took another sip. She dipped her spoon in it and took a sip.
"You don't have to eat this," she said quietly.
"Are you kidding. I rather eat this any day," I said and stuck my
spoon in it and drank some more. She leaned over and kissed my lips softly.
"What was that for," I asked. She sipped her liquid.
"For being a great husband," she said. I smiled and sipped the liquid
again.
"Don't worry about it," I said and pushed off the ground. And we swung
sipping our liquid and talking about everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stood in the mirror and twisted at one of my curls that wouldn't stay down. I
really need a haircut but Cameron likes it long so I'm trying to keep it this
long for as long as I can. The door opened and I looked at Cameron. She still
had on my shirt and it had snuck up again. Probably when she climbed the stairs.
I guess she noticed me staring at her and she pulled it down.
"Ewe baby who are you trying to look sexy for," she said and walked up
behind me and lifted up my tight gray shirt rubbing her hands on my abs.
"Girl if you don't stop," I said referring to her touching me. She
stuck her hands in my pockets and put her head on my back.
"What time are you coming home," she whispered. I dropped my arms and
rubbed my hands on top of hers.
"I don't know baby. What time do you want me home," I asked.
"Before the sun rises," she said. I smiled.
"Of course," I whispered. She sighed. "What you got planned for
tonight," I asked.
"Jackie went out to rent some girl movies and we're going to cry all
night," she said. I smiled. "Since you want watch them with me,"
she said. Jackie had come over because I asked her to watch over Cameron. She
hadn’t gotten really sick today and I’m afraid it would happen when no one
was here.
"I watched Casablanca with you," I said.
"Yeah well we are watching Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, and
Beaches. So when you watch those with me then you have experienced the girl
movies," she said. I turned around and took her hands in mine. I sat back
on the dresser and she stepped between my legs.
"You going to be ok," I asked. She smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Me and Jackie are going to have a girl's night. Maybe
I'll go to bed early," she said. I sighed.
"You think you'll be able to sleep tonight," I asked. She shrugged.
This new medicine the doctor put her on keeps her up. Normally I wake up and
she's watching TV.
"Go have a fun night and do whatever. But remember what's waiting at home
for you," she said. I smiled and pulled at one of her springy curls.
"And what's that," I asked. She smiled and flipped up her shirt. My
eyes got huge.
"This," she said and smiled as she dropped her shirt. I bent over
laughing. She bit her tongue as she skipped out the room. I shook my head and
picked up my leather coat and walked out the room still laughing hard. I went
down the stairs and looked at Cameron sitting on the couch with her legs pulled
up close to her body and the guys were standing around the staircase.
"Finally," JC said. I smiled and walked down the rest of the stairs.
Jackie jumped over the couch as Cameron whispered something to her. She busted
out laughing and almost fell off the couch. I smiled knowing what they were
talking about.
"You girls going to be ok," Joey asked and walked over to Jackie. They
mess around when they are together.
"Yeah we're going to watch sexy men on the beach," she said and held
up a movie.
"I thought you were having a girls night," I said.
"We are," Cameron said.
"We are two girls that are going to watch sexy guys tonight," she
said. They gave each other a high five.
"You are watching porn," JC asked.
"Ewe no," Cameron said. She looked at her friend and Jackie raised her
eyebrows. "Ok well maybe," she said.
"But hello you guys are looking at the real thing when we are here,"
Jackie said.
"You wait a couple hours and you can have the real thing," Joey said.
I laughed.
"I think I'm going to settle for Spring Break Guys gone wild and College
guy special," Jackie said. I laughed and looked at Cameron. She smiled and
I looked down at my watch. It was almost twelve.
"Aye let's go," Chris said. Everyone headed out and Jackie was putting
the tape in the VCR. I walked over to the couch and knelled down.
"I'll see you later alright," I said. She smiled.
"Have fun," she said.
"Not as much as I would have if I were home," I said and rubbed the
side of her face. She smiled.
"Hurry up then," she said.
"Is that a promise," I asked. She nodded. I smiled and kissed her
putting my hand behind her head pulling her closer for a deeper kiss. I turned
my head to the side and really got into it.
"Justin," someone called. But I wasn't hearing any of it. I was way
too involved it this intense kiss. I massaged her tongue with mine and she put
her hand on the side of my face. "Justin," someone yelled again. I
ignored it again realizing how powerful this kiss actually is and not wanting to
pull out of it anytime soon. Cameron pulled back and traced my lips with her
tongue then kissed me and sat back.
"Think about that while you get your table dance," she said. I licked
my lip and smiled.
"You are dangerous," I said as she smiled.
"Justin now," Joey yelled.
"One minute," I said. "I'll wake you when I get home," I
asked. She nodded. "Ok," I said and leaned in kissing her again. She
moved her head and intensified the kiss until two people grabbed my arms pulling
me away. I stood up and walked backwards out the house. "I love you,"
I called and the door closed. I took my arms back and climbed in the back of the
car. This better be worth it cause it will take a lot to surpass that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat back in the chair and looked up at the brunette standing on the table in
front of me. She really is beautiful. We got a separate room and we already did
the runway thing. I think I've spent about three hundred dollars. Chris put a
dollar in his mouth and the girl leaned down and took it. I shook my head and
smiled. The girl turned to me and twisted in front of me. She sat down on the
table in front of me and kicked her legs up on my shoulders. Chris smiled and
clapped. "I don't want to do this," I said quietly. She slid down on
my lap.
"What sweetie," she said. Well it was too late. I shook my head and
she started moving around and everything. I looked over at JC and he was
laughing and pointing at me. She reached back and pulled off her top. I had no
where to look. This is bad. This is really bad. I wrapped my hands around the
legs of the chair so I wasn't tempted to touch her. She moved around and I
pressed my lips together. Oh give me strength! "You want to touch me,"
she asked. I shook my head no. "You sure cause you can," she said. I
shook my head no again as she started moving really slow. I touched the top of
lip with the tip of my tongue and looked down. "You want to go in the
back," she asked.
"Naw," I said quietly. She grabbed the back of the chair and pressed
her body up close to mine. I was beyond turned on. She rubbed her hand on the
side of my face.
"Come on just for a little while," she said. I shook my head. She
leaned in and kissed me with out any warning and with out hesitation I kissed
her back. Not thinking about what I was doing or anything. She pulled back and
smiled as she climbed off me. I opened my eyes and realized what I had just
done.
"Oh shit," I said and put my head down. I grabbed my hair and started
pulling at it. "Oh I am so fucked," I said and sat up.
"Justin what in the hell was that," JC asked.
"Damnit," I said and covered my eyes. I stood up and paced across the
floor. I slammed my hand up against the wall. What was I thinking? I kissed
another girl. I have never knowingly kissed another girl back like I just kissed
her. "What am I going to do," I asked and slid down the wall.
"Don't tell her," Joey said.
"Yeah right," I said looking in his eyes. "So some newspaper can
get to it first and then I really loose her," I asked. He shook his head. I
put head down on my knees. "She's going to leave me," I whispered.
"A striper," I mumbled to myself. “I shouldn’t have come. I knew I
shouldn’t have come. She has cancer and I cheated on her with a stripper,” I
whispered.
"Come on Justin let's go home," Lance said. I stood up and walked out
the club about to burst into tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked around outside for about an hour thinking about what I was going to
say. I want to cry but I can't because I don't have a right to cry. Not now at
least. I messed up and if I go in there like I'm the victim, I don't deserve any
sympathy. I sat down on the stair and looked down at my watch. Four thirty, I
know Cameron is worrying now. I mean everyone else is chilling inside and I'm
sitting outside. I slowly stood up and pushed open the door. Everyone turned and
looked at me. Cameron smiled.
"You thought over all your sins," she said and smiled. I looked down
as she walked over to me. She rubbed her hands on my waist. "Don't I get a
kiss," she asked and rubbed her hands up my chest. I swallowed hard and
took her hands in mine.
"I need to tell you something," I said quietly holding her small
hands. I stared at the ground afraid that if I looked up I would see the
innocence in her eyes and get really worked up.
"What is it sexy man," I bit my lip and looked away. "I bet it's
not as bad as you think it is," she said sweetly. I looked back down.
"Just tell me. I won't be mad," she said. I shook my head and closed
my eyes. "What baby," she said. I took a deep breath and prepared for
what ever that was about to happen.
"I kissed another girl," I said quietly and looked in her eyes. Her
eyes were searching mine for truth.
"What," she whispered.
"A girl was dancing and I kissed her," I said not getting into all the
details. She slipped her hands out of mine and walked into the kitchen. I sat
down on the floor and looked at her standing outside with her hands on her hips
and the wind blowing her little pajama pants.
"You kissed another girl and then came home and told your wife that has
cancer you did so. Could you possibly of waited for a better time," Jackie
said. I looked down. "That was real smart Justin," she said and walked
away. I covered my face with my hands and tried not to cry. I put my head back
and looked at Cameron and Jackie standing outside talking. I could tell she was
upset. She was moving her hands around and looking up at the sky. I looked away
from everything and wished I hadn't gone. The door opened and Cameron walking
back inside. Her face was pale and her eyes were red. I stood up and looked in
her eyes.
"I love you and I can't help this...I can't. Sometimes I think you are the
best guy in the world and I wonder what I did to deserve you," she paused
and looked up. "But then things like this happen and I tell myself this
isn't going to happen again. He won't do it again. But you went to Britney. You
kissed Britney. You brought Britney on tour. And now you kissed a stripper. A
stripper Justin," she said looking in my eyes. "Do you realize that.
Some girl you never met got a piece of you that you are supposed to only share
with me," I chewed at the inside of my lip. "Look at me Justin. I have
a stomach cancer. I HAVE CANCER,” she yelled. “We have a baby together and
you go and kiss a stripper. You have broken my heart once again and this time I
don’t think I can take it. I can't do it. I won't do it to myself
anymore," she said and wiped her eyes.
“Cameron it’s not like that,” Chris started trying to help but I knew it
wasn’t going to work.
“What do you mean it’s not like that. You took my husband to a strip club.
Well I hope you guys are happy now. You got your stud back,” she said and
tried not to cry. "I love you. But I can't," she whispered. “And I'm
sorry but this isn't going to work. A stripper. That's taking it way to
far," she said and slipped the rings off her fingers and they dropped in my
lap. She walked up the stairs and the door closed. My body was numb. I picked up
the rings and looked at them in my hand.
"Did she break up with me," I asked myself quietly. "Oh God she
broke up with me," I cried. My hand was shaking so bad and the rings
wouldn't sit in my hands. I dropped them on the floor and it felt like my soul
rolled away with all three rings. I slowly fell over and landed in a ball on the
floor crying uncontrollably. OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?"