Chapter 9 - Part two
~~~~~~~** Mid December**~~~~~~~~
I looked up at the large tree and shook my head from the couch. How it got into
the house is beyond me. But what I’m worried about is how Justin is actually
going to decorate it. I can’t help because I’m just too weak to do anything
right now. When the doctors reduced my dosage of my therapy I felt better but it
wasn’t doing anything so the doctor upped the dosage and now I have no energy
at all to do anything ever. I had my treatment two days ago and Justin still has
to carry me down the stairs. it’s awful. I’ll be glad when January comes
around and I take the last treatment. I heard something crash to the ground and
then some cuss words. I laughed softly and looked over the back of the couch.
Justin walked around the corner with three boxes balanced in his arms.
“WHat happened,” I said quietly. He sat the boxes down on the floor and
smiled at me.
“I dropped one of the boxes,” he said grinning. I shook my head and picked
up a stack of pictures and flipped through them slowly. The night that we made
up after that whole stripper incident, Justin had decided to make a scrap book
of his life for his mom and since I can’t do anything I offered to flip
through some pictures for him. He was working on the part about me and Jaden and
I was doing the early years basically. I was just sorting pictures. He won’t
let me glue or anything cause then it won’t be from him so he keeps it locked
in his trunk so I won’t go look at it or anything. He’s such a dork, like
I’m going to run down the street with all the extra energy I have built up and
tell Lynn what he’s doing. He kissed my head softly and pushed some of my
curls out my face and smiled. “How you doing,” he asked quietly. I smiled
weakly and looked up at him.
“I’m doing,” I said softly. He kissed my forehead again and rubbed at the
dark circles under my eye softly.
“You need some thing,” he asked. I shook my head no. “Ok,” he kissed me
again as the doorbell rang. i took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I blew it
out.
“Who’s that,” I said quietly. He fixed the blanket around me and moved my
pillows up some.
“The guys and Dani and Bobbie. They’re going to help decorate. Jaden is with
my mom,” he said. I chewed on my lip and nodded. he smiled.
“Ok sexy man,” he took the pictures off my stomach and dropped them in the
box beside me. He picked it up as he walked to the door. A loud round of hellos
and what’s ups echoed from the front door. I closed my eyes and tried to
prepare myself for the conversation and talking I was going to have to endure
for the day.
“Is she asleep,” a soft voice asked.
“No,” Justin said. “Hey sweetie. They’re some people here to see you,”
he said his voice so comforting. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled weakly.
“Hey,” I said and smiled at Dani. I could look in her eyes and tell that
she was holding back emotion. I haven’t seen neither Dani or Bobbie since I
was in the hospital. “Don’t cry. I’m ok,” I said sweetly. She nodded and
chewed at her lip. Bobbie reached down and rubbed my forehead softly.
“It’s so good to see you again. how are you,” she asked. I swallowed hard
and took a deep breath.
“I’m ok. Today is just one of my bad days right baby,” I said and looked
at Justin. he was opening one of the boxes in the chair.
“Oh you guys should have been here yesterday. She was cleaning the shy lights
and moon walking across the kitchen floor,” he said joking. I threw one of my
little pillows at him. it took all the energy I had but it nailed him in the
head. Everyone laughed and he picked up the pillow and walked back to me. He
smiled as I started wheezing softly. he propped it up under my head and touched
my nose with his finger. “Don’t you get too excited now,” he said
grinning. I smiled as I tried to catch my breath.
“Always the center of attention,” I said quietly. He smiled and reached over
picking up the inhaler I was prescribed two days ago. I got a cold and because
my immune system is so weak it makes it even worse which is why this last
treatment was so hard on me and i couldn’t just bounce back like I used to. I
took a puff on it and closed my eyes allowing the medicine to take effect. I
felt Justin’s lips on my forehead and I smiled. “Why don’t...ya’ll,” I
paused and took as deep a breath as possible. “Get started,” I whispered.
“Ok baby. You rest,” he whispered.
“Alright sexy man,” I said smiling weakly. I felt the couch move and heard
as people left the room. I just need to rest a little while. Just a little
while.
************** Justin **************
I closed the door behind me as I stood in the studio and looked at Dani crying
on Chris’s shoulder. I chewed at my lip and looked down at the floor.
cameron’s gotten a lot worse in the past couple of weeks and it’s hard to
watch. So I understand why everyone is so solemn right now. Having to witness
that is very scary.
“She’s got a cold and it makes everything a little worse then normal. But
she’s fine,” I said and looked up t everyone. They nodded. “I asked all
you guys to some over here because I don’t want her to think about everything.
That’s the last thing she needs to do. i just want to decorate this house the
way she wants it done and make this day fun for her ok,” I said. JC stepped up
and rubbed my shoulder. I smiled weakly
“You ok,” he asked. I smiled at him and nodded.
“Cameron makes it ok,” I said. he nodded. “Come on that tree is going to
take all of us to get it done and I still got stuff in the garage that needs to
be taken out,” I said. Everyone nodded and we exited the room. Today would be
a long day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked over at Cameron and she was talking to Dani I knew that this is what
she wanted to do. She didn’t want him to be there when she watched her hair
for the last time and she didn’t want someone that like our moms or something.
So Dani and Bobbie were the only one’s left and I prayed that they said yes. I
turned back to the tree and smiled. It was coming together good. It took what
seemed like years to get the lights on the but after that everything has been
going smoothly. Lance, Chris, and Joey were outside putting lights on the house
and JC and I were inside.
“Justin,” I looked over at Cameron and she smiled at me.
“Yeah baby,” I asked. Dani and Bobbie were both crying beside her. She
smiled.
“Will you take me upstairs. I’m going to wash my hair,” she said softly. I
smiled weakly and walked over to her.
“Of course I will,” I said and pulled the blanket off her. She had on some
boggy pajama pants and a little tank top. She was so tiny and frail looking. But
she was still my Cameron and nothing about that was changing.
“Don’t you get any ideas,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my
neck. I smiled and kissed her forehead.
“Baby I always have ideas,” I said smiling. She laughed as we headed up
stairs. She ran her finger over my heart softly.
“Say bye bye bye to my hair,” she said quietly. I kissed her forehead again.
“Sweetie it’s not your hair, it’s not your body, none of that is what’s
keeping me around. It’s your heart, your personality, your being that’s
keeping me around,” she smiled.
“Oh just that,” she asked. I smiled and sat her down on our bed.
“I’ll get the stuff ready in the bathroom ok,” I said and smiled at her.
She nodded.
“Ok sexy man,” she whispered. I smiled and kissed the top of her head before
I disappeared into the bathroom. i pulled out the shampoo and sat it down on the
sink. As I gathered all the things needed to do her hair my mind wandered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I dashed through the church laughing the whole time at the screaming and
giggling coming from behind me and from Cameron in front of me.
“Run Cameron,” I yelled. She squealed and turned the corner sharply. I
laughed out loud as I chased her through the endless halls of the large
cathedral. She was in her slip, pantyhose, and veil. I was in my tuxedo pants,
undershirt and partially opened shirt. But neither one of us cared. I followed
her down another hall and almost ran slam into her. We reached a dead end and
the only thing left to do was get caught. We were breathing as if the air supply
was going to be cut off. I grabbed her in my arms and she pressed up against my
chest tightly. “We’re getting married in a hour and a half. We aren't
supposed to see each other,” I whispered.
“Yeah well you’re not supposed to swim after you eat but who follows that
rule,” she asked. I smiled and ran my finger on the side of her face.
“Not us,” I said softly. she smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Never,” she said grinning. I kissed her nose softly “I was so nervous and
now it just feels so right,” she said quietly.
“I know. This is all we need,” she nodded. I pressed my lips against hers
and gently prayed her lips open with mine. When I felt the tip of er tongue drag
across my own I pulled her as close to me as possible.
“Cameron Michelle,” i heard her mom yelling. I pulled back and looked in her
eyes.
“That’s our cue. You go back and I’ll meet you at the alter in a hour,”
she grinned and kissed me.
“I’ll be the one wearing white,” she mumbled into my lips. I smiled and
kissed her deeply before pulling back and jogging towards the end of the hallway
holding her hands. I pulled her to me one more time and kissed her again.
“i love you,” I whispered. She smiled and kissed me one more time.
“I love you too,” she said grinning and darted towards the sound of her
angry mother. I smiled and went in the opposite direction. God I love that
woman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat on the couch and stared at the blazing fire in front of me. The other guys
were sitting around the large living room and everyone was quiet. The girls had
been upstairs for almost two hours. We had finished the tree and all the other
decorating and now we were just waiting. A part of me wanted Cameron to rush
down the stairs this second so I could see her and smile and everything but
another part of me wanted her to take her time. I wasn’t sure how ready I was
to see her without hair. Sure I was adjusted to the whole cancer thing but there
was never any sure signs that she was really sick except this. With out her
having hair it will be a huge reality check every time.
“Justin you ok,” I looked up surprised that someone was talking to me.
“J,” JC said a little louder. I looked at him and smiled weakly.
“Yeah...fine. Are you guys hungry or something,” I asked.
“Justin that’s like the seventh time you’ve asked that,” Chris said
quietly. I leaned down on my legs and took a deep breath.
“Sorry,” I said softly.
“Justin,” Joey started. But my attention was drawn to the opening and
closing of a door upstairs. I quickly sat up and looked behind me. Slowly all
three girls appeared at the top of the staircase. cameron was in the middle and
well hidden as they walked down. As they stepped off the last stair and turned
to face us I got the first glimpse of her bald head. Ny heart beat faster then I
thought it ever would and my breathing started getting erratic. I put my hand on
my head and tried my hardest not to cry.
“Oh baby,” I heard her little voice say softly. I put my head down on the
back of the couch and curled up as I cried like a baby. I cried because it
wasn’t as bad as i thought it was going to be. I cried because I was finally
realizing that she was really sick. I cried because I was confused. i cried
because it was the only emotion that I knew at the moment. I felt two little
arms wrap around me but I contiuied to cry. Cameron’s fingers stroked my head
softly and my damp cheek. “What’s wrong,” she asked softly. I reached my
arm up and rubbed her smooth arm trying my hardest to gain as much comfort as I
could.
“I didn’t think you were sick until now,” I whispered. she shifted more
into my lap and I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her
shoulder. “I...didn’t think,” I sobbed. Her fingers rubbed through my hair
softly and I slowly calmed down.
“No you guys stay,” she said quietly. I rubbed my hand up her back and sat
up looking in her big brown eyes. “It’s all gone,” she said softly. I
nodded and slowly reached my trembling hand up and touched her smooth head.
“You are so beautiful Camy,” I muttered. She smiled and put her hands on the
side of my face. “You are so damn beautiful,” I said. She smiled brighter
then I have ever seen as she leaned down and kissed my lips softly.
“I needed that baby,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I
closed my eyes and put my head on her shoulder. I kissed the side of her head
softly.
“Dance with me,” I whispered. She sat up and looked in my eyes.
“Justin I can’t dance,” she said quietly. I stood up with her in my arms
and walked over towards the stereo. I put her down on her feet and pressed a
couple of buttons before turning to her and looking deep in her brown eyes.
“You can always lean on me,” I whispered. She smiled and wrapped her arms
around my waist as the Aerosmith song we danced to as our first song came out
across the speakers. She looked up at me and smiled. I rubbed my hand on the
side of her face as we swayed to the music. “I love you so much Cameron,” I
said quietly. She chewed at her frosty lip and took a deep breath.
“I love you too,” she muttered. I rubbed my hands n her back and sighed
deeply. I don’t know if I can do this, I don’t know if I can do this
anymore.