Chapter 12
Justin walked downstairs slowly. His head was hanging because he didn't know what he had gotten himself into. He didn't know what was in store from him in the future.
His best friends were all happy. They were joking, and when he entered the living room, play fighting. He didn't say anything to either of them. He just sat down on the couch...silently.
"What's the matter Justy?" Chris joked. "Yeah Chicago lost. I believe you owe me five hundred bucks."
Justin didn't respond to him so he pushed him on the shoulder to start a fight with him. "What you got, man? Pay up, JUSTIN!"
Justin looked up at him and shook his head. "I'm NOT giving you ANYTHING!" He stood up.
Chris narrowed his eyes playfully. "Oh. You trying to BACK DOWN now?" He lunged at him and caught Justin by the neck. "Too bad your sleeper didn't work. Unfortunately for you, mine does." He locked his head with his arm.
"What is up with you and choking people? GET OFF OF ME, YOU PSYCHO." Joey, Lance and JC were too busy having their own mini fight that they didn't even notice Justin and Chris going at it. "I'm...not...in...the...mood...to...be...playing...games...with...you."
Chris heard someone coming downstairs. "Oh no, Kim." He let Justin go.
Kim walked into the living room, she was going into the kitchen to get something to drink. By Justin's flushed color she could tell Chris had got to him. "Kick his ass, Chris." She said seriously.
She stopped walking and just stood staring Justin in the eyes. She stared at him for a few second and then rolled her eyes so coldly that everyone in the room was able to sense something from it.
Kim continued into the kitchen to get her drink, but everyone else gloomed at Justin trying to figure out what was going on.
"Okay, the look she just gave you man was very BAD! What happen?" JC asked from across the room.
"Yeah, that was like the cold shoulder to the third power." Joey spoke with a laugh.
He wasn't going to hide it from them or lie to his buddies. "She's mad at me, because I'm mad at her for not telling me she was six months pregnant. She just told me like fifteen minutes ago."
Motionless. It was like everyone went brain dead and were vegetables. No one moved. No one spoke.
"Cool." Lance said first.
"Yeah, that is cool." Joey said with a chuckle.
Chris looked Justin over. "Your mad at her?"
"Yeah. She lied to me about everything."
Kim walked back into the living room with a glass of something red in her hand.
"Kim, are you really pregnant?" JC asked looking directly at her stomach.
Her eyes lit up at the sound of his sincere voice. It was not Justin, but she was able to put her anger a side for a second. "Yes I am. Six months." She giggled. "The baby is just kicking away."
"Ooooo I wanna feel." It was like a stampede running towards her. Before she knew it her shirt was raised up and her stomach had four hands on it. Four ,because Justin stayed right where he was, he was 'too good' to join the others.
"Whoa that SOOOOO COOL!" Chris shouted. "I think I'm gonna have a baby with Dani now." He winked.
"The baby really is kicking." Lance said.
"AMAZING." JC said stunned.
"I know. The baby is ALWAYS kicking. Takes after it's daddy I guess." She rolled her eyes at Justin again.
"THIS IS SO COOL! Do you know what the sex is?" Joey asked rubbing the area on her stomach that he was touching.
"Actually no, the baby's legs were crossed. It doesn't matter to me. AND I'M SURE IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER TO JUSTIN!" She smiled down at guys. "I think I'll be going upstairs now."
"Oh, okay. If you need anything let us know, okay?" Lance told her.
"Anything." The other three guys added.
She rolled her eyes at Justin once more and he returned the favor. She then walked off.
"Nice ass, Kim." Chris yelled after just viewing her yellow sweat pants.
"I heard that! THANKS, CHRIS!" She said from the middle of the staircase.
Everyone then turned to Justin and stared at him.
"Were going to kick your ass, Justin." JC told him.
"Yeah, how could you be mad at her like a time like this? We're gonna be you down!" Lance asked walking in closer to him.
They were all inching closer to him. "Hey wait guys! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE MAD! SHE LIED TO ME! No! NO! Wait!"
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Kim laid in bed thinking. She had been thinking for the longest. Through all she had endured she didn't cry. She was too battered emotionally to cry. The room was completely dark and she was alone. She felt lonely; like Justin wasn't even there at all.
The bedroom door opened with a sluggish creep, and then the light came on. Justin could see that Kim was awake. "I hope your happy. Your friends downstairs just beat me up." He said walking over to his side of the bed. He unzipped his jeans and took them off.
"Good!" Kim said laughing at him.
He pulled his shirt off, and in his boxers only, he got into bed. As he got comfy and relaxed under the warm covers he felt them pull off of his body, taking warmth with them.
Kim pulled the covers off of him purposely. Justin pulled them back. Kim then pulled them back. "Please stop pulling the covers you stupid fuck. And you better cut the light out too." She turned on her other side to face him. "GO GET UP AND TURN IT OUT!"
He smiled and turned his head to the side. "Excuse me?" He smiled even bigger. "THIS IS MY GOD DAMN HOUSE! I DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO DO IN IT." His smile turned into an angered pout. "I don't have to listen to what you say! And give me back my covers now."
She moved up a little to show him she was NOT afraid of his wanna be threat. "Do I look like I care this is your house? I said cut the light out DAMMIT!"
He swayed his head side to side in attitude. "I'm not cutting off SHIT! This is my house, and I want to sleep with the damn light on. It will remain on...unless you cut it off yourself." He laid his head on his pillow and acted as if he was going to sleep.
"But I'm PREGNANT!"
He kept his eyes closed and didn't move. "Yes, I am aware of that."
Kim shook her head at him. "You have no heart, Justin."
"Yes, I am aware of that too. It is currently OUT OF ORDER. DUE TO SHOCKING LIES!"
She was on edge with him. He was being sinful and improper towards her. He had crossed the line and she felt so defenseless. She just could not get over his actions and he made her feel like everything was her fault. She could not cry though. She had to STOP with the emotional break downs. "Okay. If you going to be like that." She swung her feet over the side of the bed and raised up. "I'm six months pregnant and your treating me like this? Thats okay...it's totally okay." She turned the light off.
She walked through the room in darkness. "I mean, my back hurts and everything and your treating me like a dog...but hey thats okay."
Instead of returning to the bed with Justin she went into the bathroom and hushed the door closed behind her. She was so toppled and overthrown with rage that she was shaking. She leaned her hands against the sink. She could feel a throbbing and abnormal pain the the pit of her stomach. "I know baby...I know. I need to calm down, because I'm upsetting you too." She didn't know how to feel and she didn't know what was going on with her. Words could not describe her feelings. And it wasn't pain because she was beyond that.
She splashed some cold water on her face and then dried it with a towel nearby. She felt less mad and knew now all she could do was wait and see what happened with the situation. To hope and to cope, that was all she could do.
She carried her feet back to the bedroom and she escalated into the bed and pulled the little covers she had up over her; Justin appeared to be sleep. Things were just not right, and she never thought a week into him being home they would be fighting. She sighed with her back towards him.
She closed her eyes and at last tears escaped from her closed eye lids. "We'll be okay baby. I promise...I promise." She whispered. She found herself crying, and she didn't want to cry because it was not going to help anything. Since she figured Justin was sleep she was happy he couldn't hear her crying. A few minutes later, all the burdens, and the stress, and the baby, got to her and she fell asleep.
What she didn't know was Justin was awake and he heard what she said, and he heard her poor sobs. His whole world seemed to fall on him at that moment. And it crushed and suffocated him. What the hell was he doing? Ignoring Kim and treating her like some animal, and she was carrying his baby? He made a hideous mistake and nothing could benefit or take back his actions, but it was as translucent as a window, he actually lost control over himself for once and what caused it was...DREAD PANIC AND TERROR. For he was going to be a father. That would be something that was permanent and now it was final.
"What have I done?" He asked himself. He automatically proceeded closer to her. He already knew he did irreversible damage to her, but it was worth a try. Try to get her to accept his apology. When he could see her arm in the darkness he pulled the covers up over it to keep her warm. "Kim?" He asked. She was definitely asleep. And he understood completely. After all she had been though and then being six months pregnant she had to be tired.
He was now so ashamed and frustrated with himself that he shuddered at the thought of the things he said to her. She was the most innocent, delicate, and sensitive thing he had come across, and just by that stare. That cold stare she gave him, she was so ruined. He was not the betrayed one. He betrayed her. "Kim, I'm so sorry."
She was sleeping so decent and peaceful that she responded to him, but could not recall doing so. "Hum?" She asked shifting a little, putting her hand under her cheek.
"I said I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm sorry."
"Okay." She mumbled. She was practically sleep talking because she didn't know what she was saying. When Justin realized this, he stuck his hand under the covers and gently, his hand brushed over the outer surface of her arm and it ran down to the bottom of her T-shirt, which was all she was wearing at the time, besides underwear. He cautiously pulled it up and when her shirt was raised just to her upper chest he placed his hand straight on her warm stomach.
By touching her and knowing he was touching the baby, it made him relax and it touched his heart to know that Kim cared enough about him to have his child. He was exhausted from the awful fight they had and his brain just needed sleep. He pushed himself closer to her and finally he fell asleep with his head pressed against her back.
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March 19, 2002 (Morning)
Kim's eyes opened up. The first thing that caught her attention was Justin's hand on her stomach. It was the most precious display she had saw from him; it almost made her teary-eyed, but she was so disgusted with him that she could just kill him. She snatched his hand off of her.
Justin was not prepared for the movement and he jumped. His eyes opened but he was so tired that he started to drift back to sleep. Just by the look she gave him, and just by the way she removed his hand, he got the point and he moved over to more of his side of the bed. From there he went back to sleep.
Kim eyed him as he slept. He was so adorable in the morning. He seemed so child-like. And when she thought of a child, she thought happy. He looked so sweet and yet MEAN and DECEITFUL!
She didn't want to have to get up, but she had to because she had an early appointment with Dr. Nathan. "Another day little one." She got up to pick her out an outfit. Grasping a green pastel colored dress she walked into the bathroom to take care of her teeth.
Another pregnancy problem she encountered. Toothpaste made her sick. She could not brush her teeth with tooth paste now because it would actually make her vomit. It was because the gag relax is very sensitive when a woman is pregnant. She discovered a new remedy, use a good mouth wash, and chew teeth cleaning gum."
After rinsing her mouth out with a cool mint mouth wash she slipped the dress on, and looked at how it fit in the mirror. She did grow some over-night. Just like the doctor said, she was growing rapidly.
When she exited the bathroom and looked quickly for her now favorite silver eye shadow, she found Justin's diamond necklace which was folded in one of his shirts. The view of the necklace made her so angry. All the horrible things he said to her. He said she would NOT be a good mother? Called her endless horrible things. "One hundred thousand dollars my ass." She threw the huge necklace at him and it hit him in the absolute center of his forehead.
When he felt the impact, he sat up immediately. "What the hell?" He picked up the chain and stared at it. His eyes reached over to Kim who seemed to be burning up with madness. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He rubbed his head dramatically; he was rubbing it as if he was hit with a hammer.
"You are what's wrong with me! YOU SELFISH SON OF A BITCH!" She put her hands on her hips. "The nerve of you to insult me as you did yesterday. I AM SO FUCKING MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW!"
He wiped his eyes as he spoke. "Do you have to throw things at people in the morning? And I think at six months the baby can hear it's surroundings. You should watch your language."
She rolled her eyes and laughed madly. "Oh well excuse me sir. You didn't care about language when you considered our intimacy as...AHEM...What did you call it? FUCKING? FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCKING! Am I wrong or am I right, Justin? Fucking, right? Nothing more than that, right? Haha. Considering my stupid ass lost my virginity to you. HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?"
It was obvious she was releasing her anger and pain. Justin covered his mouth with his hand at the sound of her language. "Whoa! I cannot believe your talking like that. What is up with that mouth of yours? "
She walked up to the edge of the bed and raised her hands in the air with a shrug. "It makes no difference. I'll fucking never be a good mother." She said sarcastically. She looked down at the ground and noticed that the yellow jumper was still on the floor from their fight. She picked it up. She was sniffling and she could feel the chilling tears creeping down her face.
Justin gripped the covers tighter. "Kim, I'm sorry. And about what I said about you never being a good mother I didn't me..."
She cut him off. "NO! I don't want to hear it, JUSTIN! Saying sorry is NOT going to help anything. You've already left your emotional scar on me. It's not even worth talking about anymore." She looked at her beautiful engagement ring. " And, Justin. I never thought you'd say those things to me. You even called me STUPID. So much for abuse healing!"
"Kim I did not..."
"YES YOU DID!" She stomped her foot in explanation. "YOU DID CALL ME STUPID AND EVERYTHING ELSE! Do you know that you are the only thing I love in this world. If I didn't meet you I would probably be dead by now BUT YOU HURT MY FEELINGS LAST NIGHT! WHAT YOU SAID TO ME WAS NOT FAIR TO ME OR THE BABY. AND YOUR ACTIONS..." She wiped her eyes. "WERE JUST SICKENING. I wish I never met you now because then maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad. I wish I never slept with you because then I wouldn't be some chick to just FUCK! You are a self-centered, no good, BASTARD!"
Justin's eyes flashed wider. He couldn't take anymore of her words and just wanted to hide from her. "What a bitch!" He said throwing the covers over his head.
Kim just fumed into a rage. "What did you just say? You called me a BITCH?" She took action towards him and pulled the covers from over his head.
"NO! I swear to God. I was saying the situation is a bitch. NOT YOU! I'm sorry KIM! I'M SORRY, BABY GIRL! I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU SO BADLY, AND I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" He saw the light twinkle in her eyes some.
"No. Don't put that baby SHIT on me. I'M NOT THAT STUPID ANYMORE! Your face makes me ill. I just want to throw up when I look at you!" She looked away from him and folded the baby clothing and placed it on the dresser. She picked up the bag that she had been using all week. It was small and convenient made by DKNY. She was almost running late for her appointment with Dr. Nathan. She picked up her keys, put a jacket on and slipped her foot in some black closed-toe shoes.
"Where are you going?" Justin asked still in bed.
She switched her head in his direction. "I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU WHERE THE HELL I'M GOING. Just like you don't have to cut out the damn light when I ask." She flicked the light switch off and on for the effect. "Turn out the light! Turn out the light!"
After tampering with it for a while she exited the bedroom and slammed the door closed. Justin cringed when she slammed the door. "DANG! She is pissed!" He covered back up to go to sleep.
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After about a hour long chat with Dr. Nathan, Kim made it back home.
She placed her bag down on the couch and took a sip of the hot drink that she had in a Styrofoam cup. It wasn't coffee because it was bad for the baby, but she was drinking one of her other favorites...hot chocolate.
The talk she had with Doctor Nathan only made her more mad at Justin. And she presented her pregnancy to him too. Eventually it would reach the media and then the whole public would know.
Kim took a box of Ritz crackers from under a cabinet and sat down on the couch. She watched TV as she ate her crackers and drunk her chocolate. She didn't want to see Justin, and she damn sure didn't want to fight with him. Whether or not Justin knew she was home, she didn't know. It really didn't matter because she could careless.
Thirty minutes into "Runaway Bride," Kim heard a knock at the door. Why didn't they just ring the door bell? She had a hard time getting to her feet because she was not use to the pressure on her back, but she managed to get to to door at a normal pace. It shocked the life out of her to see Britney. She had not saw Britney one time since Christmas, she looked a lot better, she even looked...pretty.
"Hey Kim." She said shyly.
"Hello." Kim replied looking at Britney's cute figure. She was actually jealous because even though she was still smaller than her, she felt disgusting because she was pregnant.
Britney rubbed her shoe into the ground. "I just wanted to speak with Justin about something, if that is okay? I know it's early. Is he home?"
Kim crunched on a cracker she had been holding her hand the whole time. "I don't care and I really don't feel like calling him, so just go ahead upstairs. He might be sleeping, but oh well."
Britney walked into the house and looked around as if she was almost afraid. "Thanks."
Kim nodded and closed the door. Britney jogged upstairs, out of her view. She just sat back on the couch and continued watching the movie.
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The door made a cracking sound when she opened it up. "Justin?" She asked looking around the room. She didn't realize her eyes had skipped him sitting on the bed watching TV. "Hey, Justin." She walked up closer to the bed.
Justin cut the volume down on the TV. "Britney, what are you doing here?"
She fiddled with her fingers and looked down. "Uh, Kim let me in. She said it was okay if I came up."
Justin completely turned the TV off. "What? She's home?"
Britney moved her head up and down like giddy first grader. She made herself at home and sat on the edge of the bed. "Is is okay if I sit down." She shuddered. "God only knows what you and 'her' did in this bed."
He could tell the fighting Britney was coming head on. "What do you want, Britney?"
She looked him in the eyes. "See, why I came here today was because you are what I want. No matter what I do, I cannot stop thinking about you, Justin. WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! You know it's true."
He could see her crawling nearer to him. "No, we are not made for each other, and YOU obviously have some mental problems. Don't you get it? I love Kim. She is all I want and need in life. We may fight or we may argue but I will always love her. ALWAYS! Now we. We were made for each other. ME and Kim, Kim and I!" Justin would have continued talking but Britney kissed him on the lips. And within the time span of five seconds the kiss turned into a French kiss. Justin pulled Britney's face away. "What the hell are you doing? Don't do stupid shit like that, Britney. I can't hurt Kim more than I already have. She dealing with ENOUGH right now, she pregnant."
Britney froze and felt like she couldn't breath. "She's...preg...PREGNANT?" She felt like she was going to be sick.
"Yeah, so leave right now. Because all you do is cause trouble when your here."
She rose from the bed quickly. "Okay Justin...leaving now." She walked out of the room and closed the door with calmity, to cover up for her rage. As she was walking down the stairs, she lost it and she knew once again her and Kim were going to get into a fight, only this time she was going to end her pregnancy too. Britney entered the living room breathing as if she ran twenty miles. She was heaving. "Kim..." She shook her head at her. "To have him for a while was OKAY. BUT TO GET PREGNANT JUST SO YOU CAN KEEP HIM? I don't think so! I'm going to put a stop to that!"
Kim stood up and noticed Britney was planning to charge after her. "If you hurt my baby, bitch. I'll kill you. You hear me? I can get the death penalty but if you hurt my baby, I'll kill you." She was backing away not because she was scared, but because Britney had an advantage over her.
Britney kept her eyes on Kim's stomach. It made her boil to know she was having
Justin's baby. She just ran and, attacked Kim against the wall. "Never. You
will never have his baby. It should be me."
She was trying to punch Kim in the stomach but Kim's small fist blocked her and wouldn't allow it. "Not this crap again." She said grabbing Britney by the hair and throwing her on the couch. "Why do you insist on messing with me? I've done nothing to you." She slapped Britney upside the face and jumped on top of her. "Why do you continuously do this, BITCH?" She slapped her again. "Why can't you just move on? I don't want to hurt you, Britney. I don't want to fight you anymore. I don't want to put your ass in the hospital anymore!"
Britney then grabbed a fist full of her short hair. The pain was awful because her scalp had become so sensitive. "Ahhhhhhhh. LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"
By the hair Britney pulled Kim up and then she slammed her against the wall. "Awww lookie lookie. I got the little bitch...right where I want her." She placed her face up as close as it could get to Kim's. "You know what KIM? I'm jealous. I AM SO JEALOUS of you, that I can claw your eyes out right now. UGH! And you are so beautiful it sickens me." It seemed like Britney was moving in closer to her but it wasn't possible. "You are so perfect. I HATE THAT! I ENVY you, KIM! You've got it all. BUT THATS NOT RIGHT BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE IT ALL!" Britney held Kim by the neck, but was not choking her, and then she kissed her on the lips quickly. "HAHA I WILL HAVE IT ALL WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU! THAT INCLUDES JUSTIN!"
Just as she was about to knee Kim in the stomach Justin came and pulled her away. "WHAT THE HELL?" He shook Britney gently. "Will you stop. YOUR FIGHTING HER? She's pregnant dumbass. Get the HELL out of my house. Don't let me catch you back here or I'm calling the police!" He pushed her to the door. "You need to stop with the crazy obsessive shit." He opened the door and pushed her out of it. "BYE BRITNEY!"
"Oh, don't worry about it Justin...until next time!" He slammed the door closed.
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Justin walked back over to the shocked and stiff Kim. She went into the shock when she was thrown against the wall. She was holding and rubbing her stomach defensively but that was all. "Kim, are you okay? Did she hurt you? Did she hurt...the baby?" He was confident enough to put his hand on her stomach.
Kim punched him. "GET YOUR HAND OFF OF ME! STILL YOU CANNOT CONTROL THAT LITTLE GROUPIE OF YOURS! Just..." She pushed Justin aside. "Just stay away from me." She left him and headed upstairs.