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This month we've got a syndicated article about crime in Russia to show how lucky we really are:
In Russia there are real problems; many people have no money, no food. The economy is pathetic and we have a piss-artist as a ruler, but on the plus side prostitution is rife. This especially good if you're the top pimp of a major city such as Petrovskigrad, such as myself.
You can monopolise the area and reap in the profits. They say America is the land of opportunity but I say that is rubbish, I spit on it, because for the best whores in the world, you come to Russia: The Land of Opportunists.
Porno
I am worried, though, about the lawlessness that is spreading across the Mother Country. Only yesterday am I catching two prepubescent boys rummaging in the bin outside my pornhouse. They said they were just looking for pictures but I don't believe their lies. I had them shot at dawn. That's my new 'zero tolerance' ethos at work. Another example: I find bitch doing business for free with her friends, I fill her crack with polyfilla.
Contraceptive
Many people ask me for secrets of success. I don't normally tell them, in fact, usually I have my bodyguards beat them for being impudent. But for you, my friends, I will tell you. In Russia nobody can afford babies, but they want sex! For the men, they use the whores… but the women? They need the pill. Unfortunately they can't get it. The reason: I buy all of them! The want sex, they want pill, they come to me, they become my latest bitch. Secret? Not any more. Success? Most yes!
Wannabe Film Star
Recently I try and break out into other areas of the industry. My first idea was to become a director of film bleu, or blue movies. Do you like my joke, Ingleesh friends? I hope so, because my new film, written by myself, is full of same. But script, it is not the central focus, no, it is the girls. I use Olga Hengski, she is known as the Russian Thatcher by you funny Ingleesh, but I known not why. Anyways, she has breasts size of large water melons. Ha ha, I think you boys enjoy!
Internet Distribution
I hear from my Western sources that many use the Internet and that it is full of pictures that look good and sexy! I think "I must dip my wick in that!", I think that how your phrase goes. So I buys a computer and pays young lads small change to scan in pictures. I save them on CD-ROM and then sell it as 'Fat Slags From Russia - The Fattest Bitches This Side Of The Kremlin', and for only £50! With 5,000+ images, it is bargain, not to be missed.
Farewellian
That is all my reluctant European friends, please, if you want to buy merchandise click here to go to Anal Gang Bang Family home-page. It great fun, I know, they my family.
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