Born in New York City … You Texans will love that…LOL (but I like
Pace Picante Sauce any way) … Brooklyn as a matter of fact in the early
part of August 1963. I didn't say a word till I was 3, when my brother
hit me in the neck …ever since no one can shut me up -HA Ha ha!!! My mother
Adele O'Conner (maiden name) split on me, my dad and two brothers - and
I still haven't heard the whole story - when I was knee high. My older
brother asked where she was going and she responded, "To get ice cream."
He asked why are you carrying suitcases and off she went - side note: He
ran away from home when he was 14 to find her. When he did, she spit in
his face and told him to get out of her life. 2nd side note:
Who said God doesn't have a sense of humor - I became an Ice Cream man
working with my Grandfather in my teen years - a Good Humor Ice Cream man.
So after a while my dad couldn't raise us by himself and we were put in
foster homes … split up of course because no one wanted to adopt 3 children.
My dad got remarried - wicked stepmother syndrome to the max! and
they had 5 more children. So as time went on we were brought home from
the foster homes one at a time. My dad's job relocated in the early seventies
to Long Island. My stepmother was raised in all girls' home after her mother
died in her arms and her father turned to alcohol to cope with her loss
till he died. She was extremely mean, strict and both physically and psychologically
abusive. We grew up poor. I ran track and cross-country in my Junior and
Senior year - lettered tooJ! My stepmother
attempted suicide several times, my older brother went weird and after
I graduated from West Islip High School in 1981 I joined the Navy. I drank
to damn much causing all sorts of wreckage in my life and those near me,
and have quit, again, since 1989. I traveled to England (really cool),
Spain (only people who spoke English were the ones who wanted to rip you
off or take advantage of you), France (not bad), went through the Panama
Canal (interesting, tense) and all over the Eastern US of A and West Coast.
So after punching holes in the ocean for a couple of years - Underway,
Underwater, Under Nuclear Power and drinking like a fish when I wasn't
- I met the woman who would later be my son's mom and my wife, that's the
order it happened anyway - sorry L . I settled
in Vallejo, junk food capital of the free world - yep more fast food per
100 k of people than anywhere else - and began my second career as a Radiological
Controls Technician at Mare Island Naval Shipyard. It was to good a place
to work. I learned quite a bit, traveled some and then married my son's
Mom. I had bought her a tri-colored gold ring that had a rose on it and
a small diamond in the center a couple of years ago that had just been
stolen in a burglary. I went out and I found that same exact ring for a
Valentines' Day gift and told her that all I could give her was my love
if she would marry me. It was the most romantic gesture I had ever made.
She died as a result of a car accident Father's Day 1990 5 months pregnant
and 3 months after we were married. Our son just a year and half old wasn't
with us on that sunny June day around Clear Lake when a beat up old pick
up slammed into the side where my wife was sitting. The driver - no insurance,
license, etc, etc… It was so difficult trying to explain to a toddler that
mommy wasn't coming home let alone an understanding of what death was.
Being raised or should I say raising my 7 brothers and sisters was nothing
to compared to being a single parent. I went from a raging drunk, to a
sort of sober single person, to a married man with a wife and child with
a second child coming to a widowed person and single dad in less than a
years time. There were no classes in High School that covered this. I had
some help and a significant amount of divine guidance, my son provided
all the inspiration necessary. In 1997 Mare Island Naval Shipyard closed,
BRAC did it. I applied for some training not really meaning to complete
it, just thinking it would look good on the resume until they offered me
a job there. I lost my house, due to cut in pay and moved to Martinez.
Two blocks from work in one direction and two blocks from the hospital
where my son was born in the other. I enjoy my work, wish I had health
care benefits and work at being the best dad I can - One day at a time
J
Me and the little guy at Monterey Aquarium 1998
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