I Can See My Nosehairs Dancing In The Moonlight

I can see my nosehairs dancing at night
I can see my nosehairs
Dancing . . . in the moonlight
When I look up, I look at the sky
I love the moon, I don't know why
Bristles
In my nostrils
Point at the sky
They make up a beat
And dance like they're high . . .

My nose tickles
Those hairs giggle
So I punch me
It doesn't help me
I don't know if I am dreaming
Such confusing, this is trippy
Everything's black
I can't go back
Oh I just sneezes
Nosehairs are green
Used to be brown
They just fell down
They saw the moon
So they got down
This is trippin, nose is drippin
Hairs are dancing, in the moonlight
I don't know if I am dreaming
This is weird dude, hairs on the moon

I can see my
Nosehairs dancing
In the moonlight
No they won't sing
But they just might
Pretty soon I'm going to scream
Nosehairs don't fly
This is some dream
It might not be a dream you know
Seems real to me look at them--whoa!
You know snot comes oh when you blow
That's what happens didn't you know?
Wish I'd wake up if I can 'cause
I don't know if this is a dream
Please God tell me are my nosehairs
Really alive?
Please tell me why
I can see my nosehairs dancing at night . . .

I give up what the hell is this?
I feel dumb what did I miss?
My brain's empty I sneezed too much
I blew plenty nosehairs to the moon
Someone tell me what's going on?
Is this a dream? or just a song?
What's happening? Am I crazy?
Are you laughing? Things are hazy
I can't help it I see nosehairs
Dancing in the moonlight up there
I don't get it I am confused
My nose tickles this is trippy
Nosehairs get down yes they're dancing
No they won't sing
This is some dream
Seems real to me
Wish I'd wake up I feel real dumb
My brain's empty
Why do I see nosehairs up there?
This is weird dude hairs on the moon
I can see my nosehairs dancing at night . . .

They dance like they're high . . .
They dance like they're high . . .
I can see my nosehairs dancing
In the moonlight . . .
Bristles
In my nostrils
Point at the sky . . .
They make up a beat . . .
And dance like they're high . . .
My nosehairs dance at night . . .
Dancing in the moonlight . . .
They look alive . . .
They dance like they're high . . .


("copywrite" may 10 1991)

Your Mamma's Not A Virgin

Just face it you dinkbutt
Your mamma's not a virgin
Yes I think she's a mutt but
If you're here there's no reason
To say your mamma's not that way . . .
She's had it at least once
Maybe not today no how no way . . .
But she has yes she has she has!
Your mamma's not a virgin . . .
Your mamma's not a virgin . . .
Don't you tell me she's not!
Don't you tell me she hasn't!
Don't you tell me you snot!
Don't you don't you tell me that!
Why are you so stupid?
How come you're so dumb huh?
I never met anyone
Who thought a baseball was the sun
Who thought raw beef was well done
Who thought a cleaver was fun
And who thought their mother was a virgin
You're mamma's not a virgin
No way!
Hosay!
You've gotcher head up your butt
And you're such a dink butt
You're mamma's not a virgin
She's done it before . . .
And walked out the door . . .
And then you were born . . .
Your mamma's not a virgin,
Face it.


("copywrite" 1991)

She's A Tramp (parody of He's A Tramp from Walt Disney's Lady and the Tramp not used by permission)

She's a tramp, but they love her
Breaks a new heart every day
She's a tramp, they adore her
And I only hope she'll stay that way
She's a tramp, she's a heifer
She's a hooker, she's a bitch
She's a tramp, but I love her
Yes even I have got it pretty bad
You can never tell when she'll show up
She gives you plenty of trouble
I guess she's just a low-down slut
But I wish that she were double
She's a tramp (boom-boom-boom ruff!)
She sleeps around (boom-boom-boom ruff!)
And there's nothing more to say
If she's a tramp, she's a good one
And I wish that I could travel her way . . .
Wish that I could travel her way . . .
Wish that I could travel her way . . .


("copywrite" 1991)

Butch

Butch baby you're my baby
Let's have a baby and call her Sue
Butch baby you'r my baby
Let's have a baby that comes from you
Butch baby you're my honey
Let's eat some honey and sloppie joes
Butch baby you're my honey
Let's eat some honey and eat some more
Butch darling you're my darling
Let's steal a Harley and then play catch
Butch darling you're my darling
You're so gnarley there is no match
Butch darling you're my girlfriend
Don't get a boyfriend I am he
Butch darling you're my girlfriend
You're my girlfriend you are she
Butch! Butch! Butch!
I love you very much!
Don't ever leave me believe me
I'll never leave you . . .
Butch baby . . . my baby my baby . . .
You're so beautiful . . .
Your purple hair . . .
Your spiked collar . . .
Your leather clothes . . .
And your snow boots . . .
Butch baby you're the perfect woman
Perfect woman the perfect one for me
Butch baby you're the perfect woman
The perfect wonderful beautiful bitch you are
Butch baby I love you though I hate you
When you're a bitch yes you can be a bicth
But baby I love you anyway
I love you anyway yes I do yes I do
Butch darling yes you're a darling but
You can be irritating but we can work on it
'Cause I love you beautiful rag you
Butch darling you've got your low points
But most are high yes most are high
Butch! Butch! Butch!
I love you very much!
Don't ever leave me believe me
I'll never leave you . . .
I'll stay with you . . .
There's nothing else to do . . .
Let's have a baby let's
call her Sue let's
eat some honey let's
have some sloppie joes let's
play come catch let's
steal a Harley let's
Have some fun . . .
But before we start before we're done
Get the bitchiness out of your system
Try not to be a rag and things won't be bad
And we'll live happily ever after . . .
Happily ever after . . .
Ever after . . .
Ever after . . .


("copywrite" 1991)