101 Reasons why I did not do my homework- Ryan Bennett
1. I could not find anyone to copy off of
2. I overestimated my drinking limit and passed out
3. I was trapped in a blizzard and needed something to start a fire with
4. A matter of national security came up and I spent all night calculating permutations
5. My dog ate it
6. My sister ate it
7. There was an emergency situation where I needed to make spitballs
8. Every time my pen hits the paper I hear the screams of a thousand trees
9. It's there in invisible ink
10. The one armed man stole it
11. I ran out of toilet paper.
12. The Vietcong attacked me and took it
13. I realized the meaning of life and a profound feeling of goodness came over me and I could not move for several hours
14. My sister broke her arm and I needed a bandage
15. My computer crashed while I was downloading it
16. I was so caught up in an orgy I forgot
17. My glasses broke
18. I suddenly went color blind and can not see the color black
19. I was trapped alone on a bus that had to go above 55 miles per hour or it would explode
20. I was trapped in zero gravity and the ink came out of my pen
21. I ran out of tampons. Do you still want it?
22. I was testing my theory that safety scissors will not cut paper. I was wrong.
23. It spontaneously combusted
24. I needed the paper to roll a joint
25. The Martians took it to analyze our language
26. There was an emergency situation where I needed to make a paper airplane
27. I died.
28. This isn't real. The matrix has you
29. I used it for a condom. Want to see the paper cuts?
30. I want to save the world through extreme recyclation
31. God told me not to
32. I lost my good arm in Nam
33. While doing an alchemy experiment I accidentally turned it to gold
34. I was hit on the head and I was in a coma all weekend
35. Through some weird curse everything I write started to come true
36. I had to dispatch of a Sith in a lightsaber duel
37. I accidentally mailed it to the phone-company instead of my bill
38. I went up in outer space near a black hole and forgot to adjust for the time space difference
39. One of my hoes was out of line so I had to teach her not to miss another deadline
40. It was the busiest day ever and I spent all night selling crack to the mob of people
41. I was busy watching the lesbians next door
42. Star Trek marathon
43. I heard War of the Worlds on the radio and I panicked
44. So caught up in trying to figure out whether O.J. was guilty that I forgot to do it
45. Needed all my pencils to slay vampires
46. The magic 8 ball said that the outlook does not look good for me doing my homework
47. The voices in my head would not shut up
48. Someone spiked my orange juice with LSD
49. A black hole appeared and sucked up my homework
50. Too busy thinking of reasons why I didn't do it
51. My calculator was struck by lightning
52. I was so distraught by your proposition that I had to find my therapist
53. I got beat up by five-year-olds for suggesting that there is no Santa Claus
54. I spent all night trying to move things with my mind
55. Me no hablo ingles
56. My evil twin stole it
57. My older sister was too sick to do it
58. The homework was not worthy of my time
59. Someone sprayed perfume on it and I didn't want my bag smelling girly so I threw it out the window
60. I took a vow of poverty and I gave everything, including my notebook, away
61. The doctor wouldn't let me had anything sharp
62. I was too busy trying to use the spoon to tunnel out... No guard, I said I was sleeping, yes that's it, sleeping
63. I was too distracted by a bright light in the sky, which turned out to be the sign at the local McDonalds
64. Me and four other kids had to combine our powers to summon Captain Planet to save the ozone layer
65. My foot got caught in a bear trap and I could not gnaw my leg off in time
66. I my pet hamster fluffy died and I was too traumatized to do anything
67. Some bad kids led me astray
68. I spent all night trying to decide if Diet Dr. Pepper actually does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper
69. I was trapped in an invisible box by a mime
70. Have you ever seen the movie The Birds? That exact thing happened to me only with rat terriers
71. I wanted to test the theory that life is like a box of chocolates but I got sick halfway through the experiment
72. It's against my religion
73. I reverted to a previous life and my assignment was written in Arabic
74. I had to hire someone to watch my stalker
75. The neighbors were complaining about my Christmas lights so I spent 6 hours taking them down
76. I got locked in my locker and didn't have enough light to write my assignment
77. My boss made me go make a drug run to Columbia
78. Global warming set my paper on fire
79. My cardboard box caved in and it took me all night to find another one
80. The cyborg implants in my brain malfunctioned
81. A raven sat on my door taunting me with its presence all night long
82. The batteries in my remote died so I spent all night walking back and forth to change the channel
83. Stayed up hoping that at night the Trix rabbit would finally get the cereal
84. I was so shocked by the revelation that Superman and Clark Kent are the same person I watched all the movies
85. Spent all night trying to decide the real motivation for the chicken crossing the road
86. I was threatened by other students to bring the curve down, or else
87. I was lured into watching must see TV by their catchy advertising
88. While writing my assignment I got a buzz off the white out
89. As I was doing my assignment a herd of sheep walked past my window and I fell asleep counting them
90. I had to work all night to earn money to bribe God after the apocalypse starts on Tuesday
91. I went into labor
92. I was so inspired by a TV evangelist that I had to go present my check to him in person
93. I got trapped in an elevator on my way to retrieve my homework
94. I spent all night looking through a telescope to find out if men are in fact from Mars and women from Venus
95. My tooth fell out and I spent all night on vigil to catch the tooth fairy
96. I bid on something online had had to constantly watch to make sure bob_ca_26 was not up to his old tricks
97. I found a treasure map and the treasure spot would only be visible at midnight
98. The FBI was closing in on my crystal meth lab and I had to move all of my equipment to the back up location
99. I'm lazy.