Justin Wilson, Nick Sailing, Ryan Bennett

There once was a girl named Red Riding Hood,
And everyone thought that she looked good.
She was on her way to Grandma's Shack,
The biggest brothel this side of the track.
A wolf jumped out and she began to shout,
And then she went on to check him out.
He asked her where she was going,
She said she was off to do some mowing.
He said there are flowers over there,
And then ran off to comb his hair.
She went off to pick some poppies,
Realizing that one of Grandma's hobbies,
Was to turn pounds of them,
Into lots of clear baggies of Opium.
Then later as she went into Grandma's house,
A nail caught on her silken blouse.
"Hey Grandma what do you know?"
"Turn on some tunes and lets disco."
The wolf broke down the wooden door,
And then stormed on the dance floor.
As he began to dance his body jolted,
Both Grandma and Red Riding Hood were revolted.
They laughed because he was a bad dancer,
Really it looked more like he was dying of cancer.
The wolf got mad and snatched Grandma up,
Grabbing her arms like the handles of a teacup.
He ate her with one swallow,
Then said she tasted like a marshmallow.
Then he grabbed Red Riding Hood,
You know the girl who looked so good.
Then he began to eat her,
"Wow!" he said, "She was much sweeter."
And after he gulped them each down with one big bite,
A hunter came in and started to fight.
He had with him an AK forty-seven
And he didn't stop shooting till five clips were done.
And then he went to skin the creature,
To make a study rug what a great feature.
As soon as she began to gut him out,
He heard two people scream and shout.
He got them out an they were in trouble,
So he called 911 on the double.
They rushed them in an ambulance,
But alas they hadn't a chance.
Both were killed by the same gun,
The shiny new AK forty-seven.
The hunter got ten to twenty,
The judge decided that that was plenty.
He got out in five on good behavior,
And shouted, "I'll never do anyone else a favor!"
So if you're looking for a moral to this story,
Forget it! There isn't one. It's just gory.
That's the end of this twisted tale,
Join us next time when Ahabb takes on a whale.