Overview About Filipina Pen Pals

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This page about Filipina and Asian penpals including dating sites, lies and scams. This page is provided "as-is" and is not guaranteed as to accuracy or fitness for any purpose and is soley to evoke thought and improve cultural understanding. Sadly, the internet may have increased the rate of scams more than the speed of communication. Small one-to-one ratio pen pal lists, often produced by sincere Filipinas trying to help other ladies from her community, were never as popular as the big photo publications with pretty pictures and would prove too costly for the Filipina to sustain. WARNING: On-line web sites may not be paying lady members to join but are often full of scammers and lady-boys because of the many men at these sites for the ladies to "milk". Remember, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is! For more on pen pal scams please visit Philippine Introductions Article or visit CBI Filipina Internet Scams or see the movie Closer To Home.

What Is True Romantic Love? Many Never Know!

"Romantic Love" is an "amalgamation" of two into persons into a "one". It requires the lovers equally and deeply develop 5-Elements which are to: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit and Sensually bond with each other. The couple must cherish the relationship as precious and avoid power or control.

Of course, the biology, or should we say the Chemistry of Love is very important as hormones are now implicated in what we feel as "true love". Nature intended women to spread their genes too. In women as well as men, the hormones that we feel as true love and keep us "blind in love" will tend to diminish after a few years of a sexual relationship. Keeping the affection alive is important and often not achieved resulting in marital failures.

Those who will not reason, are bigots; those who cannot, are fools; and those who dare not, are slaves." - Lord George Byron

Background On Pen Pals.

All penpals publish because they are having some problem finding what they are looking for at home. While love and affection is the presumed reason, often there are other underlying motivations.

Many women everywhere seek men for "enabling", which often precludes true romantic love. The Westen standard of living is often the motivation for "sincere" women to seek a man for marriage. This is especially true in the Philippines where daughters are expected to help support their "true family" (their parents, siblings and children) with little if any means to do so. A "husband" or "wife" is often viewed more as a "functional" object or enabler. For example, the man should be a hard working provider and the wife as an incubator for making children and taking care of the house.

Many Filipinas want or need to support their true family back home and seek to find work, especially abroad. Since few have the skills or disposable income to pay an agency to locate work abroad, finding a "husband" as "employer" from overseas may be the only choice left. Such may be the "honest" ladies who publish themselves. It is essential that the financial expectations for her true family be understood.

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." -- Albert Einstein
MARRIAGE SHOULD MEAN, NOW THAT I'VE FOUND YOU I HAVE A STABLE SENSUAL RELATIONSHIP I CHERISH.
If it ever means something other than that....it's not true romantic love!

Asian & Filipina Pen Pal Connections

In the past, penpal companies produced printed catalogs of Asian ladies. As the income and standard of living improved in many countries, these catalogs became increasing filled with women from the Philippines where population growth has held back economic progress.

Sincere Asawa (brides) from the Philipppines would sometimes create small penpal lists as a "business" to help other ladies in her home town find men. Sadly, these more honest publications could not sustain themselves and would disappear because the average Pinay lady will not have or submit appealing photos of herself.

Pretty photos sold the successful publications to hundreds of men. This gave scam artists hundreds of male "customers" too. Some big penpal companies allegedly solicited attractive young ladies to publish with them. Men who bought lists from the big companies might hear back from another girl saying that the girl he originally wrote to received hundreds of letters. That was an "honest" response. Many more letter replies might come from ladies needing money often with very pitiful stories. Men with kind hearts could feel quite obligated to try to help, which is what scammers rely upon too.

Insincere ladies can be found everywhere, especially when there are many more men then eligible women which is often the case at dating sites. Accordingly, many Pinay are too thoughtless to consider the feelings, time, effort or expense a man will go through to ultimately see them. Many Philippine ladies who seem nice and sincere may be inclined to not disclose everything about themselves before a man flys half way around the world to visit them with hopes of matrimony. Keep in mind that many ladies may be bar-girls, have a dangerous or complex scam, "party girls" seeking fun for her and her friends (barkada), ladyboys, "troubled", sexually repressed, extremely religious, or otherwise incompatible. Many girls have men visiting every month spending something on them. Many meet Western men who are already there for other reasons. Non-disclosure is a common Oriental custom. It is very important to take time to know about each other before anyone books a plane flight.

WARNING: Some very dangerous scams can occur and the laws in the Philippines are different than in most Western countries. Also, Philiippine ladies often know the immigration and divorce laws of overseas and will do the common scams of Western and American ladies, such as, marrying a wealthy man to take him for half of what he (was) worth.

Many Filipina ladies today are introduced to men from overseas from a friend or relative she knows who is already abroad. Fewer Filipinas need to publish with penpal services for honest introductions.

The internet age may be making things worse. Ideally there could be computer dating sites with "reciprocal matching" and other features. Of course, you won't find them anywhere even though the technology exists. Why? Because of dating demographics. For example, most American women want a tall and verile looking man whom they can show off to their lady friends, a man with the "license to love and insurance to fall". While women may say they just want love, how do you explain the many nice "geeks" and "nerds" who are single and lonely for love and can't get a date? Statistics show that just a single variable like short height can preclude a nice man from finding a love relationship. So, if you put all the male and female "parameters" in a big computer you'd find few successful matches. That is why computer dating sites don't have the REAL tools you need, only illusory ones with so-called "search" or "compatibility" features, personality profiles and other gimicks, but not true "reciprocal searching" for criteria that is usually limiting.

As with other introduction methods, computer dating can result is frustration and mis-match. Only tribal cultures may be an exception. With Fil-West relationships, cultural problems need to be recognized and discussed openly, which is so often not the case. Ample time to follow the 5-Elements of Knowing, Trusting, Relying, Committing and Sexual bonding to form are essential according to experts in the field of relationships; but hard to achieve if two people live on opposite sides of the planet and only visit for a few weeks.

For more on pen pal scams and chat room problems please visit Philippine Introductions Article.

Closer To Home is a Must See Film you can rent at popular movie sites. See, Everlasting Love's description of Closer To Home, or the Plot Summary.

Just as breathing is needed for a biological process called respiration (converting sugar and oxygen into energy), sex is needed for evolution (genetic recombination). It is not natural to hold one's breath just as it is not natural to avoid having a sexual romantic love relationship. Of course, "protection, no objection".

Closer To Home

Closer To Home Plot Summary

For more on pen pal scams and chat room problems please read thePhilippine Introductions Article, or visit CBI Filipina Internet Scams

Abuse hurts, can you recognize it? Face The Issues.Org.

Everyone should see the Climate Crisis page An Inconvenient Truth.

Bottom line: Filipinas who look good, are virgins, sweet and loving, have a college education, or come from a the middle or upper economic castes will be in high demand and have many eligible suitors right at home. They rarely publish as pen pals.

Why Do Philippine & Asian Women Seek Foreign Husbands?

Some Non-Scientific "Stats" To Consider...

BEWARE OF SCAMS, WHICH CAN BE ESPECIALLY DANGEROUS AFTER YOU HIT THE TARMAC.

Statistics show that less than 1% of Filipina ladies who publish as penpals will ever marry a foreigner. And many men end up divorced by these ladies after bringing them overseas. Men must avoid wasting all their time writing to ladies that will never work out or who will leave them after they get their visas and alimony. Although not scientific, the following is a rough break-down of the types of ladies who publish.

NOTE: Percentages do NOT add up to 100% due to overlapping criteria.

30% - Are Seeking Romantic Love. Just like men who publish, women who are having a problem finding a lover at home may seek to look abroad. What is her problem? What is your problem? We know that American women generally want a tall handsome and wealthy man often to raise children in the "appropriate" lifestyle. American women are so choosy less than half today will ever marry. But, you may find that Asian women are equally "choosy" too. What is causing a foreign lady to not find love in her country? Are the men too short or "nerds"? Or, is it because the men interested in her don't earn enough money? Or, if the man is "good provider" does he want to use his income on his family instead of hers?
50% - Want to work abroad, with a man "hiring" her. Most Filipinas have a "duty" to serve the "true family" they come from. It also includes supporting any children they may have (although the man is expected to support them, but may disappear called "tago-tago"). The problem is a lack of job skills and up-front agency placement fees make work abroad difficult to find and work at home doesn't pay the expenses. Accordingly, many ladies hope a foreign man may locate them a job or "hire" them to cook and clean and wash clothes (like often done in their own country). Most families there can support a "maid" and wives expect this. Also, they may see the traditional role of "housewife" as a form of employment deserving compensation to send overseas. In that most middle-income households in the Philippines have a "yaya" (housekeeper) to help raise the kids, she may anticipate her husband will let her work to support her true family back home. You need to understand these huge cultural differences and expectations!
60% - Are scamming for money. This is a business there and rationalized as ethical because even a few dollars goes a long way to helping them and the family they came from. When economic conditions are very difficult one must think "survival". Many ladies actually see penpal dating sites as charity sites. NOTE: Chatting is superficial and leaves no paper-trail and popular by Scammers. Few sincere Filipinas own computers or have the time to chit-chat! In any case, you must be able to stomach hearing awful stories and decide how you want to respond to money requests before you sign up with any penpal "dating" sites. NOTE: Some scams can get very dangerous and involve a lot of detailed planning. The "nickel & dime" and "big pop" money requests are just the PRE-FLIGHT scams. Watch out for what can happen after you hit the tarmac!
25% - Are Lady-Boys. These men turned "lady" (TS = trans-sexuals) can look really hot, especially with their petite Asian features. They can easily fool Western men.
25% - Have Problems. These are the ladies who can't get a man in their own country. They include: un-wed mothers, ex-prostitutes, troubled girls, religious fanatics, men haters, daddy's girls, sexually repressed, obese, etc.
20% - Are Chit-Chatters or Party Girls. Many of these girls are simply there if you happen to show up with your private jet and want to take their friends (barkada) out to expensive places. Keep in mind most of these ladies will keep so distant from their penpal nobody can recognize which girl in her barkada found the "sucker" to pay the bills. Being seen with a foreigner can be a bigger social disgrace than being seen wearing a string bikini in a gentlemen's bar (and they don't even wear bikinis at the beach).
20% - Are Paranoid Of Foreigners. Some ladies believe wicked rumors of how Filipina ladies have been abused by their foreign husbands. While some crime occurs everywhere, it seems that such fears may arise more from the crime rates in her country than yours. But after hearing their fears, one must ask, why do they still publish?
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. - Jerome Blattner
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." -- Arthur Schopenhauer

"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority." - Thomas Huxley (1825-1895)
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." - Voltaire

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Resurrection From The "Dark Ages"

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

The Philippines is a primarily Catholic country in which you ethically step back in time to the "dark ages". Men volunteer to be crucified (usually not to their death) in almost every Philippine town during Easter. Water buffalo are made to kneal before the church. People often flog themselves bloody. The need for consolation and forgiveness of sins is extreme. Their "merciful" God, commands supplication! Contraception is essentially banned as is divorce or child support. But the biggest hurdle of all is finding a lady who can show you true love and affection in a culture that sees sexual activity as a necessity for making babies which then inculcates cleansing as "original sin". The notion that sex is natural and necessary for evolution is incomprehensible. Predictably, they have an overpopulation crisis (birth-control of any type is viewed as evil) and environmental crisis (it's God's will) and economic hardship (it's God's test). The disabled are being "tested" by God too.

.....--------------..... dark ages

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