THE ANTIDAIRY COALITION QUIZ

A reader from Australia recently posted a message on the NOTMILK guest
book page commenting about the absurdity of the WHY-MILK quiz. That
quiz can be taken by clicking on the following link:

Click on HERE to take the "whymilk" test.

Their quiz invites you to learn the differences between myths and
reality.  They offer prizes to winners of their quiz including posters
of their mustached-models.  As it is, their realities continue to
perpetrate myths.  Their first question is:

1. Milk is

   a) an essential source of calcium and other nutrients -- plus, fat
   free skim and 1%lowfat milk give you all the nutrition of whole milk
   with little or no fat

   b) a small town in Peru

   c) full of vitamin Q

   D) a leading candidate for the U.S. Senate

The dairymen would have you learn from their quiz, just as I trust you
will learn from mine.  In the interests of balancing the dairy industry
message, here is the ANTIDAIRY Coalition quiz:

1. On March 23, 1971, the WATERGATE TAPES surreptitiously recorded
   President Nixon taking what from DAIRY lobbyists?

   a) a two million dollar "gift"

   b) a vanilla sundae smothered with caramel sauce and whipped cream

   c) an enema bag emblazoned with the presidential seal on one side and
      a dairy cow on the other

   d) an autographed copy of "MILK-The Deadly Poison"

2. One year before MONSANTO's new genetically engineered hormone was
   approved, a hormone that increases a dairy cow's milk production, the
   federal government purchased:

   a) nine billion pounds of surplus milk from dairy farmers

   b) three hundred million pounds of surplus rutabaga

   c) enough spaghetti from the Ronzoni company to circle the earth
      eleven times

   d) eight hundred and fifty thousand Hostess Twinkies

3. There are four thousand mammals and only one substance that is an
   exact duplicate between two different species of mammal. What is that
   substance?

   a) Donna Shalala's milk mustache and the mustache of a walrus

   b) the most powerful growth hormone in the human body and cow body is
      IGF-I, identified as the key factor in the growth and
      proliferation of every human cancer.  IGF-I in humans and cows
      contains 70 amino acids in the same exact gene sequence

   c) the sexual libidos of William Clinton and Mike Tyson, and super-
      stud jackrabbits in the California Sonora desert

   d) the petrified udder of a pre-historic dairy cow and the glove worn
      by Michael Jackson in his music video "Thriller"

4. Spike Lee has posed for a milk mustache.  WHY?

   a) he needed the $20,000 fee to help pay for front row seats New York
      Knick season tickets

   b) he secretly dislikes African-Americans, ninety-five percent of
      whom are lactose intolerant

   c) he hates little kids and wishes to add to the already 500,000
      asthmatic African American and Hispanic children in New York
      schools who benefit from the free federal breakfast and lunch
      programs by dosing on milk proteins which many doctors, including
      Dr. Spock, called the primary reason for their asthma

   d) he plans on doing a movie based upon the book "MILK- The Deadly
      Poison," and this is his way of raising badly needed funds

5. Larry King recently had triple bypass heart surgery and endorses
   "Garlique," a pill that is said to lower cholesterol. Larry also
   accepted money from the National Fluid Milk Processors and proudly 
   posed for his milk mustache ad. What is the equivalent cholesterol 
   eaten by the average American from various foods?

   a) every day the average American eats one side of beef and two pigs

   b) every day the average American eats from milk and dairy products
      the same cholesterol contained in 53 slices of bacon. That adds up
      to 19,300 slices of bacon each year and, by age 52, the same
      cholesterol as is contained in one-million slices of bacon

   c) each day the average American eats 114 eggs

   d) each day the average American eats one possum, two squirrels and
      an armadillo

6. Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas was:

   a) the actual star of the adult classic, "Long Dong Silver," the
      pornographic movie made famous by Anita Hill's complaint

   b) the son of an Iowa dairy farmer, the first man to spread cream
      cheese on a bagel & the inventor of Thomas's English Muffins  

   c) MONSANTO'S attorney while working for the firm of King & Spalding,
      the same firm that had their attorney, Michael Taylor, hired by
      the FDA to write the labeling laws for the milk hormone that
      caused cancer in lab animals, a hormone now in our milk, cheese
      and butter

   d) white newspaper reporter, John Howard Griffin, who stained his
      skin with dye and wrote the classic 1961 journal "Black Like Me"

7. Dairy cows have been fed:

   a) two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles,
      onions on a sesame seed bun

   b) body parts from their brothers and sisters, bone meal, blood meal
      and chicken excrement

   c) three 12-ounce glasses of low fat or skim milk each day to satisfy
      their calcium requirements and insure that their bones will not
      break, should they ever make it to moo-nopause

   d) chopped up body parts from re-cycled FDA bureaucrats, MONSANTO
      scientists and hunters

8. Dairy cows have strong bones and a lot of calcium in their milk
   because:

   a) late at night they do their shopping at CVS pharmacies and
      purchase calcium and magnesium supplements which they take before
      every meal

   b) in between cud breaks, they enjoy oyster shells and broccoli
      dredged in their favorite sour cream dips

   c) they drink human breast milk which is loaded with calcium because
      they cannot obtain enough dietary calcium from their regular diets

   d) they eat plants containing calcium and magnesium (which is the
      center atom of chlorophyll) in just the right proportions which
      insures that the calcium is adequately absorbed

9. A 100 gram portion of human breast milk (31/2 ounces), nature's
   perfect food for humans, contains 33 milligrams of calcium.  Which
   statement is true?

   a) One hundred grams of potato chips contain 40 milligrams of
      calcium, beans 50, chick peas 150, molasses 2,000 and sesame seeds
      4,000.  Broccoli contains 102 and collards 170.

   b) a baseball bat contains 31 milligrams of calcium.  A woman would
      have to eat thirty-six baseball bats to satisfy her daily dietary
      need

   c) the National Science Foundation committee recommending that
      Americans increase their consumption of milk to get more calcium
      is completely unbiased, has no conflicts of interest and has no
      members with financial ties to the dairy industry

   d) humans were designed (by God, mother nature or evolution-take your
      pick) so that they must drink body fluids from cows, dogs,
      monkeys and squirrels to satisfy their calcium needs

   10.Casein represents 80 percent of all of the protein in milk. 
      Casein is also used as:

   a) a tenacious glue that is used to affix a paper label to a bottle
      of beer and is also the glue used to hold together the wood in
      furniture

   b) MONSANTO'S artificial sweetener that breaks down into formaldehyde
      in diet soda drinks

   c) MONSANTO'S secret ingredient used to make Agent Orange, dioxins
      and "Roundup" pesticide

   d) the medicine used on cow's udders affected with mastitis, which
      are painful sores resulting in increases of blood, pus and
      bacteria in milk

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