Appreciation and admiration sound the same at first
thought, but they are used differently in Fascinating Womanhood (FW). You appreciate a man for
what he does for you, but you admire a man for what he is. It is possible to appreciate a man and
not admire him. However, to successfully live a fascinating-womanhood lifestyle you must have all three
of the A's (accept, admire, appreciate) in place. I will say it once more, "The three A's are the
foundation upon which all the rest of FW rests. If you do not grasp and practice these principles it
will not matter if your house sparkles and your dinners are fit for kings. On the other hand, if you
do these three things it makes up for a less-than-perfect house and hamburger helper.
In order for a woman to appreciate a man she needs to develop a new view of him as seen through
new eyes. The first eye is dim to his faults. The second eye sees him as the rest of the world does.
But the third and most important eye sees him as only you can and appreciates him as no one else
does.
To fully appreciate him you need to get beyond the superficial things like looks, income, status and
honor in the community. Work on a deeper set of values. Look for fine character traits such as
dependability, honesty, generosity, kindness, faith and sensitivity that only you are in a position to
notice. Become aware of his intellectual gifts and special talents he portrays. You need to be careful
to appreciate the things he does for you - especially the little things that may go unnoticed. Don't
miss opportunities to appreciate him when he does things like open doors, carry groceries or other
heavy items, care for the children, help with household chores, do fix-up jobs, yard work and buys
you things. Express appreciation for his effort in earning a living. You may say that these things
are his responsibility, so why should you thank him just for doing his duty? Just because
something is our duty, doesn't mean we don't want to be appreciated. Ingratitude, even for
something you perceive as duty, is a serious flaw in anyone.
If you can't find anything to appreciate then there are some special things you can do. The first is
have faith in his worth and look to his better side. This is a great quote from Goethe, "If you treat a
man as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could
be, he will become that bigger and better man." Another thing you can do is go back into the past
and appreciate in the present something he did. Sometimes this gives him the spark of life to carry
on. Looking for virtues beneath his faults will certainly give you something to appreciate. Usually,
what appears to be a fault on the outside, is just covering up a virtue on the inside, that the three
A's can bring out.
