If you are like most women, children are highest on your list of responsibilities. This devotion to our children was placed here by our Creator, but He did not intend this duty to usurp the duty we have toward our husband. Mrs. Andelin uses a woman called Clara as an example. She was a model of devotion and the perfect mother. She always spoke in a moderate tone to her children, helped them with their lessons, catered to their needs, and gave them lavish birthday parties. Her children were the center of her world. Never had she seen a finer example of motherly devotion. Mrs. Andelin admired her greatly and wanted to be like her, until...one day she realized the unhappy place her husband had. He was a provider, and father, but not the king of his castle. He bitterly resented this position. As it grated on his personality he became angry and the uglier side of him soon began to surface.

This resentment can even cause a man to resist having more children. He won't want any more competition for your affections than he already has.

Making him number one will not interfere with your sacred duty to your children, it will enhance it, neither will it diminish your love for them, but bring forth better fruit. Your children will be happier and more secure when their father is in his rightful place, with the respect and admiration that this position carries.

2. Homemaking:

A man wants a clean home, and a comfortable environment. A man wants to be the king of his castle. The castle is there to serve the king, the king is not there to serve the castle. I like this quote from the book: "Create a home, not a showplace." The home should not take priority over him. (This does not give you license to neglect your duties. More on this in a later lesson.)

3. Appearance:

Everyone wants to be well-groomed and cared for. We all should have self-respect, but when you spend hours on your nails, hair, clothes, exercise, etc. then your motives may be in question. If you are doing these things to please your husband, he will no doubt appreciate it, but if you are placing him second to this he may envy the public you dress for.

4. Parents:

Do you have more feelings and closeness to your parents than you do for your husband? Do you still call your parents' house "home"? Do you let them come between you and your husband? Do their wishes count more than his? Better check who is in the first-place spot.

5. Money, Success, Status:

Sometimes a man's money or position becomes more important than he is. If he is happy with his job and income, then you should be willing to live within his means. If he WANTS to press on, then by all means you should back his efforts, but if you are the one pushing for more and more, you will be causing great unhappiness and problems.

6. Career, Talent, Activities, Friends:

One of the biggest obstacles in placing your husband as number one is a career. Most of us feel a great deal of pressure to do our best for our boss. With women this can be a problem, since she also is to do her best for her husband. Some women even have such a drive for success that there husband sinks down the ladder of success as she steps on his head to climb it. Care is also needed not to place clubs, pursuit of talents, outside activities and friends before your husband. You should always be willing to sacrifice a part of these things if necessary.

When a Man Comes Home

1. Have your housework done and tools put away.

2. Have your home as quiet and peaceful as possible.

3. Put away other projects such as sewing.

4. Take a minute to freshen up. Change your clothes if you need to.

5. Don't let the children rush to him with problems and requests. These can wait until later.

Should a Man Make You Number One?

Failure to place him in the number one position is often the reason a man turns to another woman. Women with less than good scruples are more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.