The True Story Of The Three Little Pigs !

I am the wolf. Gabby T. Wolf. You can call me Gabby. I don't know how this whole BIG BAD WOLF thing got started, but, it's ALL WRONG!!!!

Maybe, it's because of our diets. Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If Cheeseburgers were cute, folks would probably think you were BIG AND BAD, too.

But, heck, like I was saying, this whole Big Bad Wolf stuff is ALL WRONG. The real story was just about a sneeze and a cup of sugar. That's all, I PROMISE!

HERE IS THE REAL STORY:

Way back, ONCE UPON A TIME LIKE, I was being the kind soul that I am and making a birthday cake for my dear old granny.

I had a TERRIBLE SNEEZING COLD. I was in the middle of making the cake and ran out of sugar. Figures!!!!

So here...me...sick as a dog.....goes out the door and down the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar.

Now, it would figure, this neighbor of mine was a pig. Darn luck of mine. And he really wasn't too bright either.

The dumb pig had built his house out of straw. Can you believe it? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw?

So of course the minute I knocked on the door, the darn thing fell right in. Now being of sound mind and manners, I didn't want to just walk in to someone else's house. So I called out, "Little Pig, Little Pig, ARE YOU IN?"

No answer. I was just about to give up and go home without the cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake.

Then my nose started to run and itch. I felt a sneeze coming on. Well, I huffed. And I snuffed. I sneeze one heck of a sneeze.

You know what? That whole straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig----Dead as a doornail.

The little jerk had been home the whole time. You know, it seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate up. Just think of it as a big cheeseburger lying there.

I was feeling a little better, but I still didn't have my cup of sugar. So I went to the next neighbor's house.

Figures! This neighbor was the First Little Pigs brother. He was a little smarter, but not much. He had built his house of sticks.

I rang the doorbell on the stick house. Nobody answered. So I called out, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, ARE YOU IN?" And the swine yelled back, "Go away wolf! You can't come in. I'm shaving the hairs on my chinny chin chin!".

I had just let go of the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on. I huffed. I snuffed And I tried to cover my mouth, but I sneezed a great sneeze. And you are not going to believe this, but this guy's house fell down just like his dumb brother's.

When the dust cleared, there was the Second Little Pig--DEAD as a doornail. WOLF'S HONOR!!!!

NOW!!! YOU know food will spoil if you just leave it out in the open. So I did the only thing there was to do. I had dinner again. Just think of it as a second helping.

I was getting pretty darn full. My cold was feeling better. I still didn't have that cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake. So, I went to the next house.

SHEESH!!! This guy was the first and second Little Pigs' brother. He must have been the Harvard graduate. He had built his house of bricks.

I knocked on the door to the brick house, real BIG HOUSE TOO!!!!!. No answer. I called out, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, ARE YOU IN??" And do you know what the rude porker answered? "Get out of here WOLF AND DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN!"

TALK ABOUT IMPOLITE!!!!!!! He probably had a whole sack full of sugar too!! Wouldn't give me even one cup for my dear old sweet granny's birthday cake. WHAT A PIG!!!!!!!

I was just about to go home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead of a cake, when I felt my cold coming on again.

SHEESH!!! I huffed!!! And I snuffed!!! I sneezed once again. The Third Little Pig yelled, "And your dear old granny wears combat boots"

Now, I am usually a pretty calm dude. But when someone talks bad about my dear old granny like that, I get a little NUTSO!

When the cops drove up, of course I was trying to break down the pig's door. The whole time, I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a real scene.

THE REST AS THEY SAY IS HISTORY The news reporters found out about the two pigs I had for dinner.

They figured a sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar didn't sound too exciting. So they jazzed up the story with all of that stuff of "HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN" and made me THE BIG BAD WOLF.

My Dad is 100% Timber Wolf. Yep! he's a big guy....he is. My Mom is 50% Timber Wolf and 50% Alaskan Wolf...so guess you could say she is a half breed hehehe..So now what does that make me? I reckon I'm three fourths Timber Wolf and one fourth Alaskan Wolf....huh? Or lets just say that I am ALL WOLF. Well it doesn't really matter for my Mema loves me any way and says I am a BEAUTIFUL Lady.

I came to live with Mema when I was about 6 weeks old. My feet were so big at that time it was hard for me to run and play without falling all over myself, gracefully, so I was almost given the name Grace. CAN you imagine that?.....hehehe....me graceful??? BUT since I talked so much Gabby was the right name for me.

My favorite toy is a basketball. I play ball with my Mema each afternoon and I even get to go into the house once a day for a visit. This I really look forward to and I always watch my manners. hehehe....except that I love to catch Mema not paying any attention to me and I sneak up and tickle her under the arm and THAT always gets her attention.

I have three cousins, their names are Tiger, Opie and Jolie. Jolie is the baby, Tiger is her Mom and Opie is her Dad. They all three are very spoiled Cocker Spaniels and they used to live here before I was born.

Tiger and her Dad bought a new house and moved out and Tiger is really enjoying having her OWN dogie door so she can go in and out as she pleases.

That Jolie, now she takes the cake, Mema kept her until her Dad moved from a cabin to a three story house on the lake and she loves all the boat and canoe rides and swimming, now talk about a spoilde, that Jolie is one for sure and Mema says Jolie is the hard headest thing she has ever seen but Jolie loves her Mema anyways and is always giving her sugars.

Now Opie, the only boy in the group is the only one that lived here with me for awhile. He used to chase me away all the time but now that I am bigger I don't run from him anymore. He moved to an apartment so now I have the yard all to myself.

I don't know why but they always bark at me whenever they come to visit. I say they just have Nooooo manners at all. All I want to do is play with them. But since I am so much bigger I have to stay in the yard and let them visit in the house whenever they come over. They are just SPOILED BRATS!!!!

My Mema says, "Gabby is very playful and loving, she is the smartest animal I have ever been around". NOW OF COURSE YOU KNOW MY MEMA LIKES TO BRAG ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME !!! hehehe........

Well bye for now. I will talk to you later. Thanks for droping by. I enjoyed visiting with you. I will be adding pictures of me soon. So Ya'll come back now, Ya hear !!!