Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a "real" man.One reason why teenagers prefer sleeping on the top bunk: They can look down at the floor and get an aerial view of their wardrobe.
HOW TRUE 

 

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If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!
I've never driven a car before. It's not so bad for first time!

 Man is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up when he is tired.

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Stores hire extra help for the holidays. This way, customers who don't know what they want are helped by people who don't know where it is.
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
A good answer is what you think of later.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
One reason why teenagers prefer sleeping on the top bunk: They can look down at the floor and get an aerial view of their wardrobe.
The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.
There are worse things than getting a coll for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.
No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than one who's giving it.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. 
Take heart, the only person who always got his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe. 
 It's great to be in my current company's employ. They offer excellent benefits, competitive pay, and a work-free smokeplace. 
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent. 
To make long story short, there's nothing like having the boss walk in.
If you wear reflective sunglasses, you have no right to get angry when people look you square in the eye and then start fixing their hair.
In Calgary it's often said, "If you don't like weather, wait a minute."
In Canada we have just two seasons: winter and construction.
Don't you just hate the blatant materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren't you just dying to know what you got?
It's impossible to laugh and worry at the same time.
ATTIC: A place for storing things until it's respectable to throw them out.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked. 

Today's woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted
make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a "real" man.

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The Book of Laughter and Forgetting
by Milan Kundera, Aaron Asher (Translator) 
Click here to find out more In one of the finer modern ironies of the life-imitates-art sort, the country that Kundera seemed to be writing about when he talked about Czechoslovakia is, thanks to the latest political redefinitions, no longer precisely there. This kind of disappearance and reappearance is, partly, what Kundera explores in The Book of Laughter and Forgetting. In this polymorphous work -- now a novel, now autobiography, now a philosophical treatise -- Kundera discusses life, music, sex, philosophy, literature and politics in ways that are rarely politically correct, never classifiable but always original, entertaining and definitely brilliant. 

 
Dave's World : The Unofficial Guide to the Late Show With David Letterman - by Michael Cader, Fabienne Marsh 
Letterman's fans are a dedicated bunch, ranging from Baby Boomers to young college students. His show has proven itself a worthy contender to the competition soundly beating out Arsenio Hall, Jay Leno, and the rest. This unauthorized companion book to Letterman's shows on NBC and CBS, offers a hip, unique, and hysterically funny guide that's packed with inside information. Over 100 photos. 

 
The Book of Love Laughter & Romance
by Barbara Jonas, Michael Jonas 
Click here to find out more Comprised of suggestions and ideas for making a relationship special--contributed by men and women of all ages -- this book is a collection of moving, honest, often funny, and always real "secrets" for nurturing and enjoying romance. 

 
Comedy : The Mastery of Discourse (Theory/Culture)
by Susan Purdie 
Queries why so many different things are funny, and finds quickly that people like to laugh, and will do so at any opportunity. Beyond that, however, humor, whether in jokes or written comedy, is both an implicit acknowledgment of, and a transgression of correct behavior, that gives the joker a sense of power or social constrictions. Also examines the basic linguistic nature of humor.

 
Canned Laughter; The Best Stories from Radio and Television
by Peter Hay 
The hilarious history of TV and radio in a marvelous collection of classic stories. Includes anecdotes about the actors and announcers, journalists and jokesters, inventors and investors, covering the golden age of radio and live television to the present day. 

 
 
   

 

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