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Wilderness Expressions, (P)1997 (C)1998 A. Alexander Volenski

Tape 12, Side-1

Prose/Poetry

What I'm going to do on tape number 12...we'll call it,
'the wilderness expression--expressions of love';
I'll do what I can here...try to communicate, try to put it all in...

The way this will come will be...there will be a series of words and
things that I'll put together...I'm not going to put them together, 
I'm just going to say them as they come to me.  And I won't know 
exactly what directions they'll take, I won't know exactly whether or 
not they'll all fit together in one context, but the theme will be 
'love', and the 'loved one', something like that...that will be the 
basic theme.

So when/as you listen to this particular tape, realize that whatever
comes, is coming at the moment, and that I'm opening myself to see
what will be said...

[The following poetical expressions of the moment--without
dialogue or any preconceived theme.  This poetical form--linking
direct--with the loved-one within; a spiritual poetical
communication.  Side-2 will explain in more detail what is
expressed here on side-1.]

...Ok...so here I shall begin.

~

When I think of you, I think of all the blessings, and the wonders of
time, and how they all fit into a great stream of time, and things.

I also wonder where you are, and how you may be, in amongst the
'star fields' of-ever.

I also pray that within us there will be a guidance and fortitude that
will reach beyond the depths of time and their barriers.

And that we will become unified and fulfilled with the love within us;
for it is true, that it is only there where we belong and must remain
and be.  Remain in the sense, that we always were and are...

I will try and speak to you as best I can, through the ways of 
emotion, and what I am, I will try and say things, and show things to 
thee, that are of us and also the Universe...even though I know that 
your somewhere -- 'planetary sphere'.

But to return to the immediate, the now and the wonders of us.

I see in you the things that have always been, I see in you a part of
us that we need to know, we need to appreciate, we need to
understand; and also the compassion's of what we are...

As time goes by and these moments twinkle, like 'stars' in the 
heavens, their colors, their radiance, their sprays of thought, 
emotion, fortitude, their luster's and illuminations transmit--in 
many ways the feelings of what we are as loved-ones.

You see in Heaven, time is but a thing, a thing that in Heaven is also
a wonder.

When I say 'Heaven', I mean the Universe, the stars, the Galaxy, but
also it's kind of like a warm feeling from within, that reaches 
outward like a blush, and whirls along, like a colorful floating 
ribbon of lifetime and color.

The ribbon becomes a pathway in many ways, one that I must follow.
A path which has always existed for us in a multitude of different
ways, phases, and life's.

We are as a dancing pair, swirling on the heavens of time, sometimes
touching, sometimes drifting away, but always we are there.

There are times when great feelings subside and lay dormant in a kind
of slumber, but still, eventually that slumber awakens, and reaches
forward that we touch again, to continue our dance of time.

In many ways the heartbeat is a dancer, one that knows its own
harmoniousness and harmony, one that always reaches to touch,
to make the connection, the unfolding, the presence, the unique
reality, like the, 'flower of time'.

'The flower, is like a spell that cascades upon the meadow, a touch of
wonder to embrace all time, for time is only of a thing in itself, 
and a-flower is beyond all that, just as the heavens are beyond any 
limit.'

So in many ways the flower is or represents the Universe itself;
as all things that are natural.

The sea, its vastness, the ocean, the small rivers and streams, the
lakes, the ponds, all have a message, and have riffles in them or on
them, waves that express a tingling tangibility, combined within a
frequency of love.  A different kind of love, a love that is not 
mechanical, a natural form of love within a different degree of 
emotion, or emotional harmony.  It's a form of a love-expression, 
which reaches within the rhythm within, to help create a cadence, 
which is harmonious with the planet itself.

Sometimes, I wonder if all of this, the sea, the sky, the earth, the
clouds, the sunshine, the moon, the stars, if all of this is but a 
dream, or a form-visionary-spell, sometimes that is a wonder, 
sometimes it's not a wonder.

For I know within all that I am and believe, there is you and me,
and those of us, love-bonds so fine.

You see, when you listen to me, I hear you, and when I hear you,
I am listening too, love reaches that way.  The love within us, I feel
it deeply, so deeply, that often tears do ride the sky, falling like 
rain drops from the stars.

But still in all of this the wonder remains; just as the loved-one.

You see, sometimes I become sorrowful, sometimes I have joy,
sometimes I reach beyond to try and find other some-ones who
are striving too.  In a way we help each other, we help each all 
whirl in our dance of time, upon the 'cosmic order'; and all it 
represents for each and for all.

The flower seed drifts on the wind, the wind carries it, it holds it, 
it cradles it, and lets it land wherever it may be, or however it may 
be, that is all part of our love structure...

'We fly, we are carried along, sometimes we land and grow for awhile 
and then are lifted up again upon the (Cosmic) wind to see what we 
may see, to be what we may be, to touch what we are, to come home to 
the one within us.'

'Fly like the wind, feel like the branches of a tree, don't be afraid 
to go inbetween, and know that in all of this, love is always present 
in one form or another; yet in many ways it is remote and away-
hidden, not intentionally hidden, but because of the way things are.'

So our struggle, placed in a time is beyond time; our love always 
shall be, it is endless, because of what we are, and because of what
will be.

'You see, the sky's unlimited, so are we...you see, our love is 
unlimited, because we are free.'

'Upon the opal quest of clouds on high, I see a spirit dance, that
whirls and twirls and spins within...a momentary glance.'

'Though clouds pass by, billowing as they do--cold breezes touch
the brow, whiskers, I see you too.'

Some clouds are gray, some clouds are white, many forms of colored
stream, yet inbetween the glimpse of that--your feelings remain
supreme.

Feelings touch the brow of mind, feelings reach the dance sublime,
feelings do...and now I feel a pause--

   "isn't that interesting, even the love-bond spirit within the 
    self, pauses now and then, to rest, contemplate, to think and 
    delve into other theme's and schemes--not schemes in the sense
    of nasty schemes, but schemes that reach in dream."

Loved-Ones, often slumber too on a different kind of pillowed moment
true, they also need to dream.

So here I pause, a loved-one so, and let another, 'love within',
speak through me to you.

Another part of self does take the microphone.

'The Linden tree blows in the breeze, its leafs do fluffer green, the
Linden tree knows the breeze just as we.'

You see how difficult it may seem to tell a word within a word, to 
ask a question, to feel a moment-moment pause; to know and not to 
know, to be and not to be, many things-things many.

Pigeon on the wing, soars acrosst the valley over ridges high, seeking
berry huckle, looking, thinking, feeling, often not knowing why.

Can we answer the unknowns, unknowns within us--can we
understand the questions, can we find the answers that we seek
and still remain directed toward, both-becoming complete?

'Incompleteness, in itself, has no meaning or a word, it's just there 
to fill a void, like a bird (the Pigeon) who fills the endless-air
and sky of time.'

'I know how difficult it must be, to be in human form, in body form,
and yet be well aware of other-things so near.'

'I often wonder if body form, human as it is, is just a thing, a 
pause, a moment of a time?'

'I sometimes wonder the significance to it all, I sometimes wonder of 
a wonder, which need not be a wonder at all!'

'You see these clouds as they drift by, are only what they are, can be
only what they mean, can be seen only as they seem, constantly
changing, growing, becoming other clouds, drifting, dwindling, doing
what they do...so I wonder as I speak to you, is the human only a 
cloud too?'

'These tapes you make, man sitting in a chair on a mountain ridge, I
wonder of them and the good that they will do or be, but in all of it,
I know it's really all about you and me.'

'You see, Wisdom, is kind of like a moment in itself, that's very 
hard to see, a present moment, that's always meant to be.'

It's hard to follow thoughts like these, coming as they are, worded
form description too, blended whirled swirled, some harmony within
the diction fuse.

'Wisdom, in many ways is like a melody of dream, that transmits to 
you, but is not always what it seems, nor remembered after dream.'

'That is how the clouds arrive, stationed as they are, some are seen,
some are not seen, as they drift on by, you see the momentary glimpse 
of cloud is like a momentary expression of dream, some are seen, some 
are not seen, so clouds...'

It is hard to speak to you, these moments are difficult to imagine,
being where I am, how I am, how I feel, there is no tangibility in 
some of what I am, in sense of who you are, yet I know your 
struggles, my struggles, loved-bonded as we be, must realize--
are shared Universality.

'A flower on the stem, as spoken of, is but a seed yet to be seen, and
in the seed, small as it is, is still another 'flower', so one comes 
to realize -- there is no beginning or end, just phases; phases,
flowers-seeds, seeds-flowers...to end it, to see the flower end,
is not to see the flower at all!'

This metaphoric moment, flower seed, flower stem, is hard to
understand and realize in natures blend.

And what of the bee, the fly, the butterfly, that comes to flowered
stem, how is it?  Is it a part of a bonded-love, or something else?

'The seed is the flower, the flower is the seed, the bee is the bee,
sharing-flowered thoughts of nectar sweet.'

'This is but a small remedy in linguistic pattern blend, metaphoric
flowered-seed, to mean many more other things.'

'Yet each individual flower is as though a momentary-reality, and
within the field of flowers, there are a multitude of vast-reality.'

'Confusion lays in wait, if one only sees one flower.'

'The human is the entire field of flowers in their multitude, the 
entire field, and all the varieties of flowers, are what each 
individual human is of...that's how vast it all is!'

'Without that vastness, one struggles to understand, one must strive
to realize in their individuality, they are the field of flowers, not 
just a single flower in that field.'

Speak to me of love, and tell me how you are.

'I am high, I am low, I am even inbetween, where I am is up to you...'

Speak to me of our oneness.

'Oneness is hard to understand, it's like a dream, that's seen, known
and understood, yet can fly away like a bird.'

'It's free like love is free, not dominated or controlled, that's what
our oneness is...free yourself of the dominance and controls.'

Tell me more, tell me more of sky above.

'Sky above in day is blue, sky above is endless too, sky above is for
me and you, sky above is only true.'

Okey...that's very nice...tell me of that cloud up there.

'That cloud up there is white, fluffy, floating along doing what it 
does, it also sees you and me in many different ways, we are part of 
it, it is part of us, that's the vastness of our love.'

Tell me about warmth.

'Warmth can be a temperature, it can be a love feeling too, warmth
reaches out and is held within, warmth is me and you; warmth, like
the cloud in sky, also is very true.'

Tell me about cold.

'Cold is a climatic thing, made of snow and wind, ice, and sometimes
hail, cold is frigid, yet in many ways it holds a warmth within--a 
silent kind of warmth hidden deep and true...another phase just like 
the sky so blue.'

Tell me about the wind.

'The wind is like a fleeting chance that hurries here and there, the
wind is a breeze, a gale, a storm, a moving to and fro, the wind is
like a doorway that's opened and then closed, that's how I see
the wind.'

The 'sun', tell me of the sun.

'The sun shines bright high above, mystic radiance filled with hue,
the sun is bright, the sun is dark, depending how you view.'

Tell me of a song of bird.

'A song of bird is many things, message of a kind, weaved within the
windy way, messages so fine...the song of bird, drifts on the wind,
heard far and wide--is a song, a message tune, to whistle through
and through.'

Tell me about a rain-drop.

'A rain-drop falls from the sky to land on soil, earth, and tree, 
rock, and anything that happens to be...the rain-drop soaks the soil,
moistens, activates, evaporates, but is much more than all these
things--a mystery of a kind -- a hidden cloaked simplicity, is a rain-
drop mystery.'

Tell me about our love, my love.

'Our love is far beyond the sky, our love is here on planet sphere,
our love is everywhere, yet no-where yet to be found, because
our love is free, it is for you and me, that is one way of how I know
and see our love, there are other ways too.'

Within the mystery of the sight, and within the harmony of the sound,
within the touch and warmth within, within the coldness which
abounds, within the light and within dark, within the windy way, 
within the bird and its song, within all the things I say, within the
spirit and the souls, within the sound and where it belongs and 
abounds, within the moment and the drift, memory, memory fine, within 
all of these, pillars so they seem, foundations, keystones, elevated
degrees, within all of these, are love, and you, and me.

'Moment time and cluster, image crystal beam it seems, rain and
snow, clouds and ground, flowers, trees, bees, birds, butterfly's,
rocks, soil, streams, ponds, rivers, sea's, are but an outward thing
reaching...'

~

[To continue--follow the LINK -- Tape 12, Side-2]

[note: text is yet to be proof read]


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