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bear

Moon

bear
 
  Memories and Hurt
   
  Memories and hurt hidden deep inside
  filled with a sorrow Iíve tried to hide.
  Something said or something done
  brings grief and pain up like a flood.
  For in this world Iím so very alone,
  Surrounded by people with hearts cold as stone
  A piece of dust is just like meó
  small, insignificant and hardly seen
  Brushed away without a thought
  killing the life for which I sought.
  Spiraling downward till on the ground I lay
  where I am swept up and thrown away.
  Then Iím taken away and buried deep
  with lifeís problems above me in a heap.
  ĎTis dark inside this cave of mine
  where not a ray of light does shine.
  However, Ďtis better than the world Iíve left
  where I floated through life rather bereft.
  No more do I have to see
  the hurt, pain and suffering;
  This darkened world in which I now reside
  lets the sorrow and grief I have hide.
  I was a little piece of dust
  in a world that was so unjust,
  But Iím glad, from that world of hurt Iíve gone.
  Ďtis so much better then being brushed away and stepped on.
   
  Here I will die in peace
  for the angry words have ceased.
  Iím gone, oh world that never noticed.
  Iím gone, oh thank goodness.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  Look at me
   
  Look at me, what do you see?
  Do you see the faÁade or me
  What you saw is my mask
  which I put on as if it werenít such a task.
  You saw someone always ready
  to reach out and hold you steady.
  Someone who seemed full of joy and smiles
  helping you see your life as worthwhile.
  But if you saw me for who I am
  you would see I too need a comforting hand.
  I was a strong tower to lean on
  but that tower just caved in.
  No more can I hide
  the problems inside.
   
  You were so used to seeing me strong
  How could anything be wrong?
  Yet, to truly see me for me
  one would have to see the grief
  Did you find the pain, the sorrow
  my wish there be no tomorrow?
  What about the hurt, the tears,
  the problems, the worries and the fears?
  When you looked is this what you saw?
  No, because you didnít see me at all.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  Drowning
   
  A saddened sigh escapes my lips
  as sorrow holds me in its grip.
   
  There is an empty place inside
  where love did once reside.
   
  But now all I know is the pain I feel.
  Will my grieving heart ever heal?
   
  Iíve seen so many deaths in my life
  and some awful, hurtful strife.
   
  My heart and spirit have been broken so often
  Can nothing be done to make the pain soften?
   
  Iíve grown so weary of this hurt and pain
  Isnít there any joy that remains?
   
  Silently my tears lull me to sleep
  yet, sleep I canít for the pain is too deep.
   
  I wonder if life is even worthwhile
  to bother putting on a smile.
   
  For my smile has lost its gaiety
  . . . Perhaps I am drowning in self pity.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  Angry words fill the night
  like a cold wind with a bitter bite
  causing all joy
  to smash to pieces
  like a hated toy
   
  and so, the yells and screams
  continue
  tearing jagged edges
  in my fragile self-esteem
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  I am a ray of sunshine,
  but the solar eclipse
  of despair
  has given me
  a black shroud
  of pain.
line  

bear   bear
 
  Gently fall the golden leaves
  twisting, turning in the breeze
  Falling softly to the ground
  like the tears which in me are found
  A saddened sigh escapes my lips
  my life resembles a battered ship.
  The battles raged, the hurt increased
  my weary soul just couldnít find peace.
  These storms came and went
  leaving me torn and spent
  Oh, the agonizing, wrenching despair
  why did no one show they cared?
  My heart screams out in bitter pain
  thereís nothing left in life to gain
  The bitterness, hurt and anger received
  makes me which I were deceased
  Iím human too, you know
  I hurt too even if it doesnít show.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  Slowly the sunrise
  fades into sorrow
  with sunbeams
  turned desolate
  by winterís storm
  causing all joy
  to be replaced
  with pain
  where none
  could see
  the golden shine
  of life.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  As I look through
  the frosted glass
  of uncertainity
  I am faced
  with a thunderbolt
  of reality
  which seems
  to offer
  piercing indifference
  to the purple
  royalty
  of lifeís essence.
bear   bear
 

  Angry words
  like waves
  wash away dreams
  as if they were sand.
  Then suddenly these cease,
  but not for long.
  Once again
  pain wells up
  as the sea
  of rage
  tosses
  and tumbles
  the broken pieces
  of love.
  Until at last
  it's energy is spent
  and it leaves
  a broken heart
  stranded
  on the shore.
 

line  
bear   bear
 
  An attempted smile
  tries to hide
  the pain,
  tears
  and sorrows
  of grief's
  bleeding heart
  where love,
  is lost,
  taken away,
  and trampled
  by unthinking
  words.
 

line  

bear   bear
 
  A l o n e,
  without a thought
  as to what my life could be
  I stand dejected,
  lonely, a
 
f
 
   a
 
    l
 
     l
 
      e
 
       n
  tree.
 

line
bear   bear
 

  liquid pain
  of fallen dreams
  bleeding
  in pale light
  of day
  turning starry
  thoughts
  crimson
  from despise.
 

line
bear   bear
 

  crystal skies
  shed light
  on the fragility
  of life
 

 

line  

bear   bear
 
  Wounded hearts
  filled with tears
  kept inside
  for many years
   
  Until the joyful faÁade
  shatters one day
  and leaves
  a waterfall of pain.
 

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© May, 1998--Heather Dozier
 

glad_heart@yahoo.com


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