MATTER
The unexamined life is not
worth living.
Features:
An advice column for the new millenium.
Due to volume of mail
received, we’ve been forced to make up our own letters.
Submit a Question to Ask Mike k4_pacific@yahoo.com (Please include words “Ask Mike” in subject.)
Ask Seth (Coming Soon)
If you don’t like Mike’s answer.
Submit a Question to Ask Seth iZimbra@aol.com (Please include words “Ask Seth” in subject.)
Movie Reviews
Reign of Fire, by Mike
W. invades Iraq.
Black Dog, by Mike
Patrick, Randy and
Meat. Do they need last names?
Essays
How to be a Bigot in This Modern Age, by Mike
Tired of being branded a Nazi?
The good Dr. Caldwell, by Mike
Ah, college, the best five
to ten years of my life.
From the Collection of Calls Recorded for Quality Control Purposes, by Mike
A telemarketer call is like
a crank call, only the victim calls you.
S & M (Science and Mathematics of course, get your mind out of the gutter)
A fast factoring algorithm, by Mike(coming soon!)
Would be far better than all
others known if only it worked. Maybe
you can help.
Will the moon ever fall out of the sky? by Mike
Most scientists would say
no. I say maybe.
Can you explain this picture? by Mike
Look real hard.
Poetry
Alternative Pie, by Mike
Can
be sung to Don McLean’s American Pie (sort of)
Six Disjoint Verses, by Mike
A
very simple rhyme scheme.
The Ballad of Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak, by Mike
A
poetic farce of a pop culture staple.
Assorted Poems, by Mike
I’m
so deep I’m going to get the bends.
The Mall Primer, by Mike
See
MAD. See Mike. See Mike rip off MAD. Rip Mike rip.
11 Poems written in 30
minutes, by Mike
See how many
short rhymes you can think of in 30 minutes.
You’d be surprised!
Art
Shadow Train, by Seth
Seth’s anal-retentive
attention to detail yields positive results!
Free desktop wallpaper
Open the picture, right click on it, select “Set as wallpaper.”
Several designs to choose from. Each measures 1024 x 768 pixels
Countdown, by Mike
Remember those instructional
films from school?
Brain, by Mike
Don’t sk.
Windows is going crazy! by Mike
A bunch of extra pointers
and a fake error message. Put it on
your friend’s computer!
Bizzarre Ruminations
Sitcom Rules, by Seth
Creating your own hit TV show for fun and profit.
George W. Bush vs. Osama Bin Ladin, by Mike
Next
week: Chruchill and Hitler, separated at birth?
Assorted Ruminations, Vol 1, by Mike
Each
of these snippets could grow into a thesis.
Other Stuff
An analysis of Louie, Louie, by Mike
The FBI spent six months investigating this
song. Their conclusion: Unintelligible
at any speed. So what are the
lyrics? We investigate.
Book Club, by Mike
Mischief,
Mayhem, Kool-Aid
Odyssey Motor Company, by Seth
Just great cars.
Contact
info:
Mike:
Seth:
