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The Love Test

While hiding out at the abandoned store after Dixie's breakout from Laurel Hill, Tad tries to get Dixie to admit her true feelings for him. In order to do this, he gives her the infamous Love Test 1989.
Point of interest--Michael E Knight himself has said that this is his all-time favorite T&D scene.

Dixie: (hugging Tad) I love you so much.

Tad: You want to repeat that for our studio audience and our ships at sea?

Dixie: I, I, I, I, . . .

Tad: (Making fun of her.) I, I, I, I, . . you, you, you, what?

Dixie: I, I do love you, um, as a friend.

Tad: (putting on a fake French accent) I see. And now you are attempting to play the game of hard to get, no? It is okay, my little chicken. You see I think lovers should start out as friends.

Dixie: Tad, you're sweet. It's really, . . .I care about you because you're so funny. You always find a way to make me laugh, even when I'm thinking about the baby. And I love you for that. I love you because you make me laugh.

Tad: That's what I have to do to get you to say it? Make you laugh?

Dixie: Tad, it just . . .came out of me.

Tad: It's high time, don't you think?

Dixie: Tad, I know how you feel. Just, please, please . . .

Tad: What? Don't take you at your word? Why shouldn't I? I've been waiting for ages for you to admit it. Besides, I like the sound of it. You love me. . .I love me. . .and I love you too. That's all there is. Come here. (He pulls her into a kiss)

Later on:

Tad: I'm going to prove to you, once and for all, that you love me just as much, or more, than I love you.

Dixie: And how exactly, sir, are you planning on doing that?

Tad: I'm going to give you a test.

Dixie: A test?!

Tad: A test. That's what I said.

Dixie: You're going to give me a test to prove that I love you?

Tad: Uh-huh.

Dixie: Oh brother. What kind of test?

Tad: Two part test. First part, verbal. Second part, my favorite, chemical. (scribbles on a memo pad) All right. Okay.

Dixie: Let me see it.

Tad: No. I'm gonna read them. You just answer them, okay?

Dixie: Okay, go ahead, shoot.

Tad: Question number one: Have you ever dreamt about me? Yes or no?

Dixie: I'm, I'm really not sure.

Tad: Yes or no. Just answer the question, and don't lie.

Dixie: Uh. You may have walked into my dreams . . .

Tad: Thank you very much. You ever fantasize about me?

Dixie: Tad!

Tad: Answer the question: Have you ever fantasized about me?

Dixie: No.

Tad: Not once?

Dixie: Well, maybe just a little.

Tad: Mmm-hmm.

Dixie: (putting her head in her hands) How embarrassing!

Tad: (Putting on a German accent) Zhust as I suspected! Okay, question number three: Have you ever worried about me?

Dixie: Now, that's ridiculous. Why would I? I would never, no.

Tad: How about when you found me on my living room floor with my wrist busted?

Dixie: Well, of course I worried about you then. You were in terrible shape.

Tad: Right.

Dixie: Now, that's not fair! I would have been worried about Palmer. . .

Tad: Question number four: Have you ever made a gallibet (??) for somebody you didn't love?

Dixie: No.

Tad: What about toy mama's. You ever given a toy mama to someone you didn't love?

Dixie: No.

Tad: So much for the verbal part of the test. On to the chemical.

Dixie: Wait a minute. What do you mean, chemical?

Tad: Don't worry about it. Just stand up straight. Relax, okay? I'm not going to hurt you, ya know?

Dixie: I don't know.

Tad: Close your eyes.

Dixie: Close my eyes?

Tad: Close your eyes.

Dixie: All right. Don't try any funny stuff.

Tad: No funny stuff. Okay, close your eyes. How's your skin feel?

Dixie: My skin?

Tad: Yeah, how's it feel?

Dixie: Skin doesn't feel.

Tad: Come on, Dixie. Touch yourself. How does it feel?

Dixie: Cold.

Tad: Okay. Now? (He picks up her hand, lifts it to his mouth, then proceeds to kiss and nuzzle her hand.)

Dixie: Warm. Can I open my eyes now? That's not fair. Not fair. If Uncle Palmer or Will had held my hand . . .

Tad: (now holding her wrist) Shh . . .Shhhh . . .

Dixie: What are you doing?

Tad: Shut up, I can't concentrate. I'm taking your pulse. . . .61, okay.

Dixie: Is that normal?

Tad: How should I know? Close your eyes. Close your eyes, it'll be all right. Now, I'm gonna kiss you, okay?

Dixie: Tad!

Tad: Just a little kiss, okay? Close your eyes. (He kisses her) Uh-huh. (using the German accent again.) Zhust as I suspected. The pulse rate has picked up The breathing is very heavy, . . .and your pupils look like black basketballs. That's kinda cute. Did they always do that?

Dixie: No. That's the stuff Dr.Snow gave me.

Tad: No, no, it's not the stuff Dr. Snow gave you. Whatever he gave you would have worn off a long time ago. Fact: I just proved it. You love me. And not just a little, . . .deeply.

Dixie: Well, . . . what do you know? I do, don't I?

Tad: There now. That wasn't so hard, was it?

Dixie shakes her head, and they kiss again.

Thanks to Jessica Guidobono for the use of this transcript.