Best of the Worst 
 Country-Western Song Titles 
 These are Real

   1.Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 
   2.Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 
   3.Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 
   4.Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 
   5.How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 
   6.How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know 
     I've Been A Liar All My Life? 
   7.I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 
   8.I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 
   9.I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 
  10.I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 
  11.I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 
  12.I Wanna Whip Your Cow 
  13.I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck 
  14.I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 
  15.I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 
  16.I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life 
  17.I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised 
  18.I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart 
  19.I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your 
     Welfare Line 
  20.If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 
  21.If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low 
  22.If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You 
  23.If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will 
  24.If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? 
  25.Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) 
  26.My Every Day Silver Is Plastic 
  27.My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John 
     Was Breaking My Heart 
  28.My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him 
  29.Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, 
     But Baby I Can See Through You 
  30.Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill 
  31.She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft 
  32.She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger 
  33.She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart 
  34.She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty 
  35.Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone 
  36.They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face 
     From Breakin' Out 
  37.Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart 
  38.When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In 
  39.You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too 
  40.You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd 
  41.You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat 
  42.You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life 
  43.You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly