Most material in this site is not meant for easily offended persons.  
This site contains offensive material to people of different races,
genders, and hair color that in no way represent our opinions. 
This site also contains jokes with adult language and sexual content
that is meant for mature audiences only.                                   

     You also know you're a red-neck if your front porch falls off the double wide and kills more
     than two dogs. 
     In addition, you are a red-neck if you paid more for the tatoo on your wife's right arm than you
     did for the ring on her left hand. 
     If someone hollers "Hoedown" and your girlfriend hits the floor. 
     If your mother has ever come out of the bathroom and said... "Y'all come look at this before I
     flush it" 
     If you go to your family reunion to meet women. 
     If you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth. 
     If your dog passes gas and you claim it. 
     If you've ever been on TV more than three times describing what the tornado sounded like. 
     If the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day. 
     If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flashlight. 
     If your three year old has more teeth than you do. 
     If you've ever made change in the offering plate. 
     If your underwear doubles as your bathing suit. 
     More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general. 
     You've ever used lard in bed. 
     You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve. 
     There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. 
     Fewer than half of your cars run. 
     You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures. 
     You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin 
     Sue Ellen to walk by. 
     Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sport event. 
     The best way to keep things cold is to leave 'em in the shade. 
     The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. 
     Your brother-in-law is your uncle. 
     You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" 
     was snubbed for best picture. 
     Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. 
     The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones. 
     You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading. 
     You prominently display a gift you bought a Graceland. 
     You use the term "over yonder" more than once a month. 
     Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board. 
     The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at,
     Shithead?". 
     your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off of it. 
     you've ever used lard in bed. 
     you own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off. 
     you've ever spraypainted your girlfriend's name on an overpass. 
     y