Tour of Lemmy's Land... in 3D!

Tour of Lemmy's Land... In 3D

"This way folks, this way!" Lemmy's pet Mime was leading the way for a group of new tourists to Lemmy's Land. The group was amazingly quiet throughout the trip because... well, you know! It is an amazing website!

"If you look to your left," Mime continued, "you'll see the largest collection of Fun Fiction found anywhere. And you can't help but notice since the words are jutting out at you! So many titles... I could spend hours naming them all, but I'm not! You're just going to have to come in and find out what they are."

Mime moved on for a while. "Here's the Messageboard! Oh, doesn't the gang here look real? It looks like the members might just jump out and smack you or something! If you want to know more, come inside!"

And awhile later, Mime turned to Lemmy's Photos. "This is Lemmy's famous photo gallary! If I didn't know better I'd say these pictures were alive! But you'll never know better unless you come for a closer look!"

Finally, Mime came to the end of the tour, but there was one more thing to look at. "Our last stop on the tour," Mime said as he gestured to what you are reading now, "is where you can sign up for the best product in both our universes, Lemmy's Land Online!"

Yes friends, this and more is what you can expect from Lemmy's Land, but you can only get it if you sign up today! Don't let this amazing offer pass you by! For only S1.99 a day, you too can experience the magic that is Lemmy's Land Online. And that's not all, if you order now, we'll also send you a copy of our home game so you never have to go without Lemmy's Land even when the computer is not working. So sign up today!

Yes, I want to take advantage of this incredible offer that will certainly never come around again, and if I don't get it I will surely die of boredom, not to mention from Lemmy's revenge.

No, I am an idiot and don't know a terrific offer when I see it, plus I'm blind and illiterate so I can't read the stories in Lemmy's Land; therefore I'm going to pass and then go jump in the lake.

If you said yes or no, both, or neither, please input your name so that we can fulfill your request. After that, do all the other steps. So, what was your name again, friend?

Please input your Email address so we can spam you with ads whenever we want.

Please list your Credit Card. Lemmy's Land proudly accepts all major credit cards, except the one you want to use. If you don't have a Credit Card, list some one else's.

Please list your Credit Card number. Lemmy's Land does not mind if it has expired. If your number is invalid, Lemmy's Land will send a representative to collect the money at no extra charge to us, but at a $100 extra charge for you.

Please list your billing address. This is the most important information of all because without it Lemmy's Land won't be able to bill you.

Street Address
City
State or Province (if applicable)
Zip Code
Country, Land, or other independant territory
Planet
Galaxy
Universe

Please list your shipping address so you can receive your free home version. This isn't really important, so don't worry if you can't fit your entire address in the box provided, making sure to use proper line spacing, and not taking shortcuts of any kind. You may write in the rest on lined paper if you wish. Incomplete addresses will be discarded. Also note that there will be a ten dollar shipping charge for anyone who does not live in Lemmy's castle.

Please list how much you will pay. If you write in less than $1000, the Lemmy's Land administration will gladly round it up and charge you accordingly. You will receive the proper number of days of viewage, which is the amount you pay devided by two to cover Lemmy Tax, and then divided by S1.99, the result being how many days of viewage you get.

You may list any comments about how great Lemmy's Land is here. We know you love it, though it doesn't matter what you write here because no one is ever going to read it.

Finally, please check all your information, especially the billing address, to make sure it is correct, and then press the submit form. Thank you for taking Lemmy's Land's free tour, we hope to see your money again.

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The End

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