Part 1

Luigi talking on the phone: Yeah, uh huh! Ok, gotcha, alright. Yes, no, uhh… maybe, ok bye!

Luigi hangs up the phone and looks at Mario.

Mario: Well?

Mario: To?

Luigi: Uhh…

Mario: You better not have picked somewhere stupid again!

Luigi: Is Alaska stupid?

Mario: Yes.

Luigi: Shoot, well we’re going there. But it’s to relax anyway.

Mario: Good, stomping Goombas and junk really makes you tired…

Luigi: We will finally be able to relax for once.

Mario: Well I will call Peach and Daisy then.

Luigi: No I will.

Mario: You called for the reservation so I call the girls!

Luigi: No!

Mario: Yes!

Luigi: Grr…

Luigi picks up the phone and dials Peach’s castle. Mario tackles him and grabs the phone.

Mario talking on the phone: Hello Toad, is Peach there? … Ok, I will wait…

Five minutes later…

Mario talking on the phone: Ok can she talk now? … Good, put her on the line! … Hello Peachy Weachy! … What? … Ok, I won't call you that anymore. … I got you, Daisy, Luigi, and I reservations on a cruise ship to Alaska!

Luigi: No it was me!

Mario talking on the phone: Don’t listen to him! … Ok, pack everything you need because tomorrow we leave on the plane to Canada. … Ok, bye bye!

Mario hangs up the phone.

Mario and Luigi together: Score!

The next day…

Mario: 99 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall, 99 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage, take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall! 98 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on wall, 98 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage...

Daisy: Are we there yet?

Peach: Glad we made you drive to the airport, Luigi…

Luigi: Yeah, I only wish I had a driver’s license…

Peach and Daisy get surprised looks on their faces.

Mario: 86 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall…

Two hours later…

Luigi: I thought I was going to be forever tortured by Mario’s singing, but we’re here now!

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy arrive to the parking lot and drive for hours looking for a space. They finally find one but Luigi ends up scratching off some of the paint job to their Eclipse.

Luigi: Darn, I just needed one more payment for this…

Meanwhile, on the other side of the parking lot…

Lil Cheep Cheep: We’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a cruise ship we’re going on a-

Skippy: SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

Piza: ZZZzzz… Gah! What?!

Axem Leader: Ok, we are finally here, help me take out the luggage, Lil Cheep Cheep.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Why is my name “Lil Cheep Cheep”? I’m not “lil”, I’m practically 13!

Piza: *yawn* You are 13…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Eh.

Axem Leader: Just help me!

Lil Cheep Cheep: But I don’t even have arms, I can’t carry-

Axem Leader drops a 20-ton trunk on Lil Cheep Cheep.

Meanwhile…

The Mario gang walks into the terminal and steps in line for luggage check-in.

Daisy: Gosh, couldn’t we have just taken the warp zone?

Luigi: Tell me about it…

About twenty minutes later…

They are next in line and Mario sees a sign labeled “Too Cool”. Mario looks at the guy in the picture and chuckles to himself.

Mario: Look at that dork.

Luigi: Uhh… Mario I don’t think-

Mario: Wow! What a nerd, he’s reading the newspaper, no one reads that anymore!

Luigi: Mario! The guy-

Mario: Ha ha ha ha! What an idiot!

A man walks up to Mario and grabs him by his overalls.

Mario: Gah! Oh heh heh… you are the man in the picture…

Just then, Lil Cheep Cheep and the others walk into the terminal from the other side of the building.

Skippy: Now that you think of it, why was I named Skippy? I don’t skip and I don’t like peanut butter…

Axem Leader: And why is my name Axem Leader?

Piza: Maybe because you lead the Axems… you idiot…

Axem Leader: Oh yeah… hey wait, why is your name Piza?

Piza: …

Lil Cheep Cheep: Well?

Piza just stands there looking sad.

Skippy: What’s wrong?

Piza runs off crying.

Axem Leader: Hey come back!

Lil Cheep Cheep: I think she needs some time to herself…

Ten minutes later…

Axem Leader: Where is she?

Skippy: I think she went to the bathroom…

Axem Leader: I’ll go get her then!

Skippy: Wait a second!

Axem Leader runs off.

Lil Cheep Cheep: I’ll go check in the luggage.

Axem Leader runs into the women’s restroom and all the girls start screaming.

Girls: AHH! GET THE **** OUT!!!

All the girls run out and one of them comes back and whacks Axem Leader over the head with her purse and runs off.

Axem Leader: Ow. Piza, you in here?

Axem Leader walks around and finds Piza sitting in the corner.

Piza: Leave me alone! *sob* Go away!

Axem Leader: What’s wrong?

Piza: Well if I tell you, will you promise not to tell?

Axem Leader: Okey dokey.

Piza: Well… when Smithy was trying to take over the world, he was ordering some of his henchmen around to make stuff. He told one of them to make a pizza. The guy did not know what a pizza was, he thought he meant to make another Axem for the Axem Rangers and to name it Piza. After creating it, he brought it to Smithy and Smithy was furious. He grabbed me and tossed me out the window. I fell into the forest. When I woke up, I found a tag on me that read “Piza”. I found an old abandoned house and slept in it for a few days. Then I got lost in the house and I thought I was going to be stuck in the house for the rest of my life. Then you came in and found me…

Axem Leader: Oh I see… I’m so sorry. You know, now that you mention it, how about getting a pizza?

Piza: ARGH!!!

Meanwhile…

Peach: Are you ok Mario?

Mario: I think one of my ribs are broken…

Mario falls down. Luigi pushes a cart with the luggage on it and one of the workers puts each bag on the conveyer belt.

Luigi: Ok good… let’s go.

Peach grabs a wheelchair and puts Mario in it. Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy walk for a while and get to the security check. Daisy walks through the metal detector and continues on to save some seats. Peach walks through and the machine beeps on her.

BEEP!

Peach: Ugh…

Peach pulls out a frying pan and gives it to the man. She walks through again and beeps a second time.

BEEP!

Peach: Grr…

Peach pulls out a can of pepper spray and gives it to the man. She walks through and again it beeps.

BEEP!

Peach: Gah!

Peach pulls out her purse full of change and gives it to the man. She walks through and for the fourth time it beeps.

BEEP!

Peach: ****!!!

Peach pulls out a 3-foot sword and gives it to the man. She walks through and collects her stuff. Luigi rolls Mario through and they sit down by the plane entrance. Lil Cheep Cheep, Axem Leader, Skippy, and Piza, make it to the security check. Lil Cheep Cheep and Skippy walk through and they both get beeped.

BEEP!

Skippy: Uh oh… the rims of our goggles are made of metal!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Aww bleepin’ heck!

Security Guy: Hand over the goggles and pass through the metal detector.

Skippy: Eek!

Lil Cheep Cheep: In front of all these people?!

Security Guy: Yes!

Skippy: Geeze, it’s getting to the point where you have to reveal yourself just to travel these days…

Axem Leader: Wait a second, isn’t our armor made of steel?

Piza: Uh oh…

Axem Leader: Can our armor even come off?

Piza: Yes, if you press this button…

Axem Leader: Wait don’t push it-

Piza presses a button on Axem Leader’s back. Axem Leader grabs his carry-on backpack and covers himself.

Axem Leader: Yeesh!

Piza: Hee hee… hey! Don’t press it!

Axem Leader presses the button on Piza and she jumps inside of his backpack.

Piza: Grr…

They walk through and press their buttons and get their armor back on.

Skippy: Ok, that was strange… I have an idea, we will walk through with paper bags on.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Can we share the same bag?

Skippy: You wish!

Skippy grabs a paper bag and puts it on. She pulls out her goggles and gives them to the man. She walks through and grabs her goggles and puts them on.

Skippy: Remind me to buy the rubber-rimmed goggles next time we go to the mall…

Lil Cheep Cheep puts on his bag and does the same thing. They walk over and see Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy.

Mario: Hey, aren’t you the fish I wanted to eat? Bring out the fish fry!

Skippy: AHHH!!!

Mario: Get in my belly!

Axem Leader: Did I miss something?

Part 2 (the part where everyone fights with each other)

Mario: Hand me your frying pan, Peach!

Peach reaches in her bag and pulls out her frying pan.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Uhh… you don’t want to eat her because… uhh-

Mario: Then I should eat you?

Lil Cheep Cheep: Yes… I mean no… that is uhh…

Skippy: Eat him! Eat him! Not me!

Axem Leader: I think we all started off on the wrong foot here…

Luigi: Hey, I remember you! You are that one guy… that umm… did something…

Axem Leader: Yeah, that’s me. I think.

Piza: Who are these people?

Daisy: Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of the royal Princess Daisy!

Peach: I’m more royaler!

Daisy: No you're not! And royaler isn’t even a word!

Peach: Oh yeah?

Daisy: Yeah!

Skippy: I still think you should eat him, not me!

Piza: Wow, you’re cold hearted…

Skippy: Quiet you!

Piza: That’s it!

Luigi: Ooh, a quarter!

Axem Leader: That’s mine! I just dropped it!

Luigi: Liar!

Mario: Come here! You’re going in my stomach!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Gah!

Just then, everyone jumped at each other and they all end up having a big fist fight. Mario starts chasing Lil Cheep Cheep with a frying pan, Axem Leader starts chasing Luigi for the quarter, Peach steals Daisy’s crown, and Piza has Skippy in a headlock.

Skippy: Gah! Uncle, uncle!

Daisy: Waahhhhh! Give me back my crown!

Axem Leader: That’s all of my life savings! Get back here with that!

Mario: I’m higher in the food chain!

Toad walks in from nowhere.

Toad: STOP!!!

Everyone stops but Mario whacks Lil Cheep Cheep over the head with the frying pan.

Toad: I came to warn you about the cruise and-

Mario: Quiet mushroom head!

Luigi: Oh no! Our plane is leaving!

Everyone: GAH!!!

Everyone runs towards the entrance and throws their tickets at the ticket lady.

Luigi: Ok, let’s find our seats…

Mario: I want the window!

Peach: No, I want it.

Daisy: You’re both wrong, it’s mine!

After five minutes of arguing, the seats are Mario, Axem Leader, Peach aisle, Skippy, Luigi, Daisy, and Lil Cheep Cheep and Piza are in the back. It looks kinda like this:

Ok, that’s a bad picture, but you get the point.

Axem Leader: Ahh! Mario is drooling on me!

Mario: ZZZzzz…

Lil Cheep Cheep: You think YOU have it bad? Piza is forcing me to read the safety manual!

Piza: Safety first!

Peach: Get your stinkin’ axe off of me!

Axem Leader: Ok ok!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Uhh… what the heck is “Fllaska Flirlines”?

Piza: That’s “Alaska Airlines”! That’s an “A” not an “F” and “L”…

Luigi: I don’t get it…

Daisy: Whoo hoo! We’re taking off!

Luigi: Lemme see!

Daisy: Ack! Get off of me!

Skippy: I’m scared! Someone hold me! … AHH!!! Not you Luigi!

Mario wakes up.

Mario: *yawn* How about we sing a song to pass the time?

Peach: No not that!

Mario: Oh, 99 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall…

30 minutes later…

Mario: 1 bottle of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall, 1 bottle of a non-alcoholic beverage. Take it down and pass it around, no more bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall…

Axem Leader: Thank goodness he stopped-

Mario: Start over again! 99 bottles of a non-alcoholic beverage on the wall-

Axem Leader takes out a giant cork and shoves it in Mario’s mouth.

Peach: Ow! You poked me with your axe again!

Daisy: Haw haw!

Skippy: Can you please shut up? I’m trying to sleep…

Piza: Hey Lil Cheep Cheep, do I look pretty to you?

Lil Cheep Cheep: No.

Piza: WHAT?!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Uh oh… agh! Let go of my head!

Piza: Say uncle!

Axem Leader: Why is everyone fighting?

Peach: Argh! You poked me again!

Peach pulls out her frying pan and smacks Axem Leader with it.

Axem Leader: AHH!!! *clunk*

Lil Cheep Cheep: UNCLE!!!

One hour later…

Everyone seems to be asleep except for Piza.

Piza: Grr… who keeps kicking my chair?

Lemmy: Heh heh…

Another hour later…

Stewardess: What would you like to drink ma’am?

Peach: I will have a glass of V8 please.

The stewardess gives her a glass of V8.

Daisy: V8? Ah ha ha ha ha!

Peach: Shut up!

Stewardess: And what would you like sir?

Axem Leader: Root beer please.

The stewardess opens a new can of root beer and pours half of the can into a small plastic cup.

Axem Leader: Hey, this is a little bit… oh well. *gulp gulp*

Stewardess: How are you sir, what would you like to drink?

Mario: Cheese!

Stewardess: I’m sorry sir but we are only serving drinks right now.

Mario: I WANT CHEESE!!! I WANT CHEESE!!!

Stewardess: Uhh… what would you like ma’am?

Skippy: Apple juice please.

The stewardess gives her a carton of apple juice.

Stewardess: What would you like to drink today sir?

Luigi: Mushroom cider.

Stewardess: Excuse me?

Luigi: You heard me, Mushroom cider!

Stewardess: Ew.

The stewardess grabs a small can and blows the dust off of it.

Stewardess: Here you go sir…

She hands Luigi the can.

Stewardess: And what would you like ma’am?

Daisy: Milk please.

Stewardess: Here you go.

The Stewardess hands Daisy a carton of milk.

Daisy: Thank you!

Stewardess: Wow, the first person to say thank you… what would you like sir?

Lil Cheep Cheep: Tomato juice! Careful, tomato juice bruises easily!

Stewardess: Ok…

The stewardess opens a can and pours some red juice into a plastic cup. She hands it to Lil Cheep Cheep.

Stewardess: What would you like ma’am?

Piza: Cherry Coke please.

Stewardess: Here you go.

The stewardess takes out a can of Cherry Coke and gives it to Piza. After everyone is finished with their drinks, the plane starts its descent to Vancouver, Canada.

Part 3

Lil Cheep Cheep: Yay, we’re here!

Peach: Grr… she didn’t give me V8, that was pure tomato juice!

Axem Leader: How can you tell? They’re about the same thing…

Skippy: Ahh! I really hate planes!

A voice can be heard on the speakers.

Captain: Welcome to Vancouver. Please keep seatbelts fastened until the plane has made a complete stop. Thank you for flying with Alaska Airlines and enjoy your stay in Canada. The time is approximately 5:45 PM.

…

Captain: Uh uh! Somone took off their seatbelt, it says right here!

Luigi: Put your belt back on!

Daisy: Oy, sorry!

Ten minutes later…

Skippy: I’m glad to be off that plane!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Chicken…

Skippy: What?!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Eh. How about getting some chicken?

Axem Leader: So Luigi, what brings you to Canada?

Luigi: Well, we came for the cruise ship going to Alaska.

Axem Leader: Really? Us too!

Luigi: Well we’ll see you there then. Let’s go Mario.

Luigi, Mario, Peach, and Daisy walk off to collect their luggage.

Piza: Let’s go…

The group walks off trailing Mario and co. When they get to the luggage pick up, they are surprised to Toad standing there.

Toad: *heavy breathing* I… had to… run all the… way… from the Mush… Mushroom Kingdom to… g-get here… to warn you ab-ab-about B-

Mario: Out of my way mushroom head.

Mario grabs Toad like in Mario Bros. 2 and throws him out the window.

Toad: Yiiieeeeeeee! I’m never respected anymo- *thump*

Luigi: Why did you do that? He probably had something important to say!

Mario: Oh well… Let’s get our stuff and go to the hotel.

Peach: There’s my bag!

Peach walks over to the conveyer belt and picks up a large pink case.

Mario: There’s mine!

Mario runs and grabs a red trunk with a big “M” on it.

Piza: There’s our stuff!

They all start grabbing their stuff and putting them on carts.

Axem Leader: There’s my 20-ton trunk! Here Lil Cheep Cheep, carry it.

Lil Cheep Cheep: No but wait I can’t- *slam* Pain…

Skippy: Why can’t we just put it on the cart?

Axem Leader: Because it’s too heavy. Lil Cheep Cheep will have to carry it.

Lil Cheep Cheep: I sense much pain…

Skippy: And you think this weakling can carry it?

Lil Cheep Cheep: Help. I’m stuck…

Axem Leader: Fine, I’ll carry it!

Axem Leader picks it up with ease and pushes one of the carts to the exit.

Skippy and Piza look at each other.

Skippy: Since when is he THIS strong?

Piza: *shrug* I dunno…

Piza starts pushing the other cart while Skippy carries the flattened Cheep Cheep.

Lil Cheep Cheep: I… think… I’m going… to be like… this for a… while…

Skippy: Too bad for you.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Ugh…

They walk outside and see all of the taxies and shuttles full.

Axem Leader: Darn it… The only thing left are limosines!

Skippy: Wow, I’ve never been on a limosine before!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Seems… a bit… pricey…

Axem Leader: It’s only $30.00!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Per… mile…?!

Axem Leader: I don’t think so…

Piza: I wanna go on a limo!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Fine… then…

They go over to the man next to the limo.

Driver: Thirty dollars please.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Oh… do you… mind Skippy…?

Skippy: Oh…

Skippy takes 30 coins from Lil Cheep Cheep and gives them to the man.

Driver: Dollars, not pennies.

Axem Leader: D’oh! We forgot to exchange our money for Canadian money!

30 minutes later…

Axem Leader: Ok here!

Axem Leader walks over to the man and gives him 30 dollars.

Driver: Ok, go ahead and get in. I hope you don’t mind sharing the same limo with a different party.

Skippy: Uhh…

***

Peach: Grr… That’s like the fifth time today you stuck that stupid axe in my eye!

Axem Leader: Sorry!

Luigi: What a coincidence. We got the same limo…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Hey… Mario… can you… please… stop sitting… on me… you’re squishing me… more then I… already… am…

Mario: Who said that?

Daisy: This limo is the worst. Look! The cups are glued to the table!

Piza: We might as well make the best of this limo. Let’s watch some TV!

Piza presses the button but the TV explodes.

Piza: GAH!!!

Luigi: Hey… MY HAT IS ON FIRE!!!

Piza: Oops…

Skippy: Uh… let me see… squirt!

Skippy shoots a stream of water from her mouth.

Luigi: Wow thanks… but you got my eye!

Peach: Geeze, what are you? Some kind of Pokemon?

Luigi: My hat is still on fire!

Driver 2 starts singing: We all live in da jellow submarine, da jellow submarine, the jellow submarine!

Driver 1: Be quiet!

Driver 2: I apolo-jyze.

Driver 1: So where are you all going?

Axem Leader: The Sherriton hotel.

Driver 1: Ok…

Lil Cheep Cheep: Gah! … Mario… do you… have gas…?!

Twenty minutes later…

Driver 2: We are here!

Lil Cheep: I can’t… breath… must… breath fresh… air…

Piza: Why is there is a second driver here?

Driver 1: Because he drove his limo into the water!

Driver 2: I’m soo-ree…

Driver 1 drives forward and drops off the bunch.

Luigi: Good, we’re here.

Peach: Uh… where is our luggage?

One hour later…

Peach: I can’t believe you forgot the luggage!

Mario: Sorry!

Piza: I’m glad Axem Leader wasn’t dumb enough to leave the luggage!

Axem Leader: Luggage?

Another hour later…

Piza: Grr…

Axem Leader: Don’t be mad, at least we have everything now.

Skippy: Can we go now?

Axem Leader: Sure, here Lil Cheep Cheep. Carry all of the junk.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Wait… stop… alto… desist… halt… do- *smash* Ow.

Ten minutes later…

The gang makes it to the hotel without any delays… except Luigi had to go real bad and accidentally went on Lil Cheep Cheep.

Lil Cheep Cheep: Great… I’m flat… and… wet…

Luigi: Sorry.

Axem Leader: Well we got our cards. Let’s go to our room and unpack.

Piza: Gah! They put my name as Pizza! I hate when this happens!

Luigi: Why did I have to get a room with Mario?

Mario: Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy…

Luigi: Mario, stop playing!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Please… please… please… darn! I got a room with Axem Leader…

Piza: I got one with Skippy…

Daisy: And I got one with Peach. Darn.

Peach: Let’s go to the store and buy some shoes!

Axem Leader: Well let’s all go to our rooms and unpack first.

The cabins are placed like so: Lil Cheep Cheep and Axem Leader are in cabin one, Mario and Luigi are in cabin two, Piza and Skippy are in cabin three, and Daisy and Peach are in cabin four.

That night…

Two figures walk into the hallway.

??? 1: Well… I’m still… flat… are… you still… up… to the… trade?

??? 2: Yeah, I didn’t want to share a room with Skippy anyway…

??? 1: Well… I… did… heh… heh…

??? 2: Must you talk like that?

??? 1: Well I… can’t… help it… I’m… squashed like… a… pancake…

??? 2: Well un-pancake yourself!

??? 1: I’ll… try…

??? 1 sticks his fin in his mouth and blows. He turns back to normal.

??? 1: Ah… that’s a lot better.

??? 2: Ok, give me your key card.

??? 1: Right!

??? 1 and ??? 2 trade their key cards.

??? 2: Well see you tom- uh oh, someone’s coming!

??? 3: So, you 2 were trading too?

??? 2: Uh, yeah.

??? 4: Hey Luigi, you wanna trade or what?

??? 3: Yeah yeah, give me your card.

??? 3 and ??? 4 trade their key cards.

??? 4: I still think that that wasn’t tomato juice…

??? 1: Drop it will ya?

The next morning in room four…

Daisy: ZZZzzz… ZZZzzz… ZZZ- … What the?

Luigi: ZZZzzz…

Daisy: What the heck? Luigi!

Luigi: Gah!

Daisy: What are you doing in our cabin? Where is Peach?

Luigi: We made a little trade… ZZZzzz…

In room two…

Mario: ZZZzzz… Ah, spaghetti… ah, ravioli… ah, mamamia… ZZZzzz…

Peach: Wake up fat head!

Mario: AHH!!! So longy Bowser!

Mario grabs Peach and swings her into the wall.

Peach: *whack* Ow! Grr… Mario!

In room three…

Skippy: ZZZ-

Crash!

Skippy: Ahh! What the?!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Oops…

Skippy: Wah! What are you doing in here Lil Cheep Cheep?!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Uh… you are only dreaming!

Skippy: I am?

In room one…

Piza: Oh Axem Leader, wake up!

Axem Leader: Wha…?

Piza: I have a surprise for you!

Axem Leader: What’s the surprise? ... Hey, why am I tied to the bed?

Piza: Hee hee hee…

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