It was a Sunday night and all the Koopalings were gathered around the TV but oh, you'll see.

Lemmy: It’s our turn to—

Iggy: -Pick what we want to watch.

Wendy: NO, I’M GOING TO WATCH MY SHOW OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ludwig: Look, I have to watch PBS. There’s a documentary about something and a have to see it!

Roy: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Roy punched Ludwig in the gut, then took the remote.

Roy: NO! We're going to watch the KWF (Koopa Wrestling Federation)!

Lemmy: It’s our night to—

Iggy: -Pick what we watch and—

Lemmy: -We want to watch the-

Iggy: -Horror movie marathon!

Ludwig: You want to stay up and watch cheesy horror flicks till your heads explode?

Lemmy: That’s–

Iggy: -Right.

Wendy: No! You're all wrong!  We're all going to watch the home shopping network!

Ludwig: My head will explode after a minute of that crud.

Larry: I want to watch the plant channel.

All of the Koopalings stared at Larry for a second, then they started fighting again.

Lemmy and Iggy: Horror movie marathon! Horror movie marathon! Horror movie marathon!

The twins kept chanting.

Morton stepped into the fight and started yelling very loudly

Morton: You're all wrong! We're going to watch the monster truck rally. Come see 5 hours of nonstop noise, see the corn dogs, breathe the smoke, puke!  40 trucks driven by underlings of all kinds fighting by ramming each other for 3 hours nonstop. However, that’s not all----

Wendy stuffed a sock in Morton’s mouth and they continued to argue. Morton spit the sock out of his mouth and talked.

Morton: Tonight only come see-

Before he could finish Ludwig kicked him and he flew threw the room and hit the wall. Then he passed out.

Everyone: YEAH!!!

Larry: Plant network, there on 24 hours a day seven days a week.

Ludwig: Aha!

Lemmy: What?

Ludwig: I have made the most useful and wonderful item ever.

Lemmy: What is it?

Ludwig: DUCT TAPE!

Horns are heard as he raised it over his head.

Horns: dun, dun, dun.

Lemmy: What? (In a confused voice.)

Ludwig: I saw this once on an Earthling TV show.

Ludwig: Larry, do you still want to watch your lame plant channel?

Larry: Yes indeed.

Ludwig: Well, you're going to have to watch it upside down taped to the wall.

Ludwig tackled Larry and taped him to the wall.

Larry: Little help?

Ludwig: That was fun.

Lemmy: Ahhhh! Our shows are almost on!

Morton woke up and they all stared at the wonderful power, which is having control over the TV. Meaning that they were all going to fight over the remote. Then everything went black for a second and then the room was black and white. All the Koopa Kids were dressed in lame looking ninja costumes and everything was like slow motion. Their voices sounded funny.

Ludwig: (In a deep voice) You have shamed my family and now you must pay.

Wendy: In the name of home shopping, give me the dagger (the remote).

Then they all started flipping thrugh the air doing kicks and junk like flinging ninja stars and using cheap special FX.

Lemmy: This is getting us nowhere. By the way, where’s the dagger (the remote)?

They all looked to the right, they saw it on the TV table, it looked all shiny, and there were sparkles around it. They all leaped at it at once, all the black and white turned back to color and their ninja clothes and weapons were gone. They all grabbed the remote at once and raised it high into the air.  They were all poking, pushing, punching, double kicking, pulling shot guns out of no where, and… OOPS, I got carried away. So they just all were grabbing it at once and in doing so randomly pushing buttons. Then the weirdest thing happened. Somehow they punched in a code that went threw the TV up through the telephone wire and into the lair of the A.K.P.R. (Anti Koopa, pokemon rule) Sting music played.

Music: Dum, de dum, dum.

An A.K.P.R guy at the com post: Zzzzzzzzz... Oh, yes I would like some of that. Zzzzzzzzzzz...

The computer started making all sorts of load ringing sounds.

A.K.P.R. guy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I think I wet myself! No time for that, it seems to be a message in code from Mr. Pikas.

This message told them to send the code into the Koopa TV satellite. Nevertheless, as they sent the code it was sent to a meteor, hit the satellite and then made a chain reaction of stuff happen. First, it made a good bed warmer. Second, it now didn’t get the plant channel.

Voice Hooray!

Larry: Who said that?

Voice: Um... you'll see.

The message hit a return to sender message and the weird code that was now carrying meteor junk was heading back to the Koopa TV set. Oh the horror. The TV, which was still being fought over, started glowing strangely and caught the attention of one of the Koopa Kids.

Lemmy: What in the heck?!

Lemmy grabbed the remote and pushed enter. Then all the Koopa Kids noted that the room was starting to do a waving sort of spinning thing.

Lemmy: Alright! Who spiked the punch?

Then the TV started sucking everything in sight into it! All the Koopa Kids, except Larry (he was still duck taped to the wall) got sucked in and then ever thing stopped spinning.

Larry: (mumbling) mphh mpph mpppphhhh...

All the Koopa Kids landed in different places.
 

Morton: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (took a second to gasp for air, then screamed some more) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Morton landed in a pile of mud and he got up and looked around. He looked to the right and a big foot monster truck zoomed by, and then Morton knew what was wrong!

Morton: Sea chimps aren’t chimps!

No not that.

Morton: I'm at the monster truck rally but I'm in the middle of the driving area! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

All of a sudden a 20-foot mother of all monster trucks appeared.

Morton: Oh my gosh! It's Big Bertha! The mother of all monsters trucks, can I have your autograph?

The truck started zooming at Morton and then he realized it.

Morton: Step by step isn’t funny!

No not that. Didn’t you read the script?

Morton: (screaming) It’s trying to run me down!
 

Meanwhile, Lemmy and Iggy landed somewhere else. It was black and white, there was cheap lame horror music playing, and there was a castle in sight.

Lemmy: Get off of me Iggy, you’re on my tail!

Iggy: Sorry.

Iggy got off of Lemmy and they took a look around.

Lemmy: Where the bloody heck are we?

Iggy: Ahhhh! Lemmy, look behind you!

Lemmy looked behind himself and there was a seven-foot tall werewolf starring at them. Lemmy picked a stick up and whacked the thing over the head with it.

Lemmy: Bad monster! Very bad monster!

The werewolf whimpered.

Lemmy: That’s all right boy. Now go fetch.

Lemmy threw the stick and the werewolf trucked after it.

Iggy: I guess we had better look for somewhere to sleep.

Lemmy: How about that big spooky looking castle over there?

Iggy: OK, just as long as we stick together nothing can hurt us. It almost wants me to sing a song. Oh we're the best of brothers and we have fun togeeeetherrrr, oh why can’t we be friends- Buy boxer shorts today! Or else!

Before Iggy could say anymore, Lemmy whacked him upside the head.

Iggy: Thanks, I think I was possessed or some thing.

Lemmy: Don’t do that again! You're scarring me with those lame songs.

Iggy: We had better try to head for the castle, it’s getting darker now.

Lemmy: Before we go we will need food and I think that this three-layer cake would fit the bill.

Iggy: Where did the three-layer cake come from?

Lemmy: Beats me, but when in Rome.

Iggy: It could be poison. Someone might be trying to kill us…

Before Iggy could finish, Lemmy waved the cake in his face and Iggy bit at it.

Lemmy: Ow! Bite my hand off will you!

Iggy: Sorry!

Lemmy: Ok, lets see. There are two paths to the castle.

Iggy: Which one should we take?

Lemmy: Let’s see. Path one leads to a lake full of cute girls and a sun lit beach.

Iggy: Path two is filled with sharp looking objects, monsters, angry trees, lawyers, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, a lady holding a whip, and tons of real mad mutant rabbits.

Lemmy: Mutant rabbits? Are you talking about the Tellatubby hoard?

Iggy: No.

Lemmy: Ok, then path number 2.

While the Koopa brothers walked down the path a dark shadow followed them.

Lemmy: Iggy, is something following us?

Iggy: Just that shadow.

Lemmy: Ok then.

Iggy: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.

Lemmy smacked Iggy over the head.

Iggy: Sorry, I think I got possessed again.
 

Meanwhile as the twins tried to get to the castle, Ludwig was not nearly doing as well.

Ludwig: Where the heck am I?

Ludwig was in a meadow with bunnies hoping all around, there was a big mound in the center of the
meadow. Ludwig looked up.

Ludwig: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A baby faced sun! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sun: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ludwig: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Both the sun and Ludwig ran for it and then Ludwig tripped over a bunny and looked up. A booming voice
was heard.

Booming voice: The documentary about nifty stuff to know has been changed so we can show more reruns of the Tellatubby show.

Ludwig: What? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Booming voice: And now the star of this show. Poe, um, the red one and, um, the green one and the evil Tinkey Winky dude.

As he said this, these Tellatubbies jumped out of their hole and started singing a lame song.

Red one: La, la, la, and la.

Ludwig: (gasp) The horror of horrors, I'm doomed, doomed I tell you doomed, and in case you weren’t listening one more for good luck. Doomed!

Blue one: Looky, looky.

The blue one stared at the yellow one and then he gave an evil looking grin to Ludwig.

Ludwig: Ahhhh! Giant shaved mutant bunnies with antennae!

The giant shaved evil bunnies tackled Ludwig, tied him up, and took him to their mound.

Ludwig: No, not there, anywhere but there!

They pushed Ludwig down into the mound and Ludwig landed with a crash in there. Then the shaved bunnies jumped down too and they tied Ludwig to a chair. They grabbed a stupid looking vacuum thingy and it started shooting cookies at Ludwig.

Ludwig: I like cookies, but these are shaved bunny shapes.

Ludwig got one hand free and tried to grab his wand but then all the Koopalings noted that there wands were gone. Sure enough when they were sucked into the TV their wands fell out of their hands and they were left behind. Ludwig quickly thought of a plan.

Ludwig: I’ll kick some Tellatubby butt If I get out of these ropes.

Ludwig attempted to free himself but no good. Then another cookie hit Ludwig upside his head. The Tellatubbies left to go sing lame songs. Ludwig then remembered that he had a straw from his soft drink that he was drinking before he was sucked in. Ludwig hoped that he still had his tool kit inside his shell but no, all there was was a piece of paper.

Ludwig: I got it!

Ludwig noted that the Tellatubbies were bad housekeepers and that everything was knock over-able. Ludwig moved his hand up to where he could spit threw a straw. Ludwig aimed at a book that was about to fall over and shot. The spit wad nailed the book and it fell over. Then it hit another book and it hit another book and so on till a book fell off the shelf and fell on the on and off switch for the stove. There just happened to be a steel bow of water on the stove at the time. And above the stove was a steam powered balloon which went upward and knocked a shelf that happens to have a chainsaw on it. It fell and turned on and almost hit Ludwig but missed and landed on the rope and cut through it. Confusing to you? It should have been. Then Ludwig sprang upward out of the chair and grabbed the robot that was still shooting cookies at him and Ludwig opened it up and turned it off.

Ludwig: I have an idea!

Ludwig opened the robot again and started to reprogram it. Meanwhile, the Tellatubbies were coming home ‘cause it was getting dark.

Ludwig: While they play I will work. Ah, I'm done.

Ludwig jumped on the robot and Ludwig was now wearing a Rambo outfit.

Ludwig: All I have to do is wait now.

The Tellatubbies jumped down the hole and saw Ludwig riding their Tellatubby cookie maker.

Ludwig: Taste hot laser shaved bunnies!

Then Ludwig started to laugh and turned his new weapon on and it started to shoot lasers everywhere. The robot went crazy, shooting the Tellatubbies and then Ludwig's was wearing a cowboy out fit!

Ludwig: Ride em' cow Koopa!

The lasers hit the Tellatubbies tons of time, they fell to the ground and started crying, and a baby voice was heard.

Baby Voice: Again, again!

Ludwig: Ok!
Ludwig shot the Tellatubbies some more and then rode the robot outside the mound and set it to suck!
Then he  jumped off the robot. Then the robot started to suck up all the bunnies!

Ludwig: Yeah! Eat those plastic grass munchers!

After a few hours, it had sucked up almost every bunny and the last one was grabbing Ludwig's leg.

Ludwig: Ahhhh! A bunny! Get it off, get it off!

Ludwig shook his leg as hard as he could and the bunny slipped off. Then Ludwig kicked it.

Ludwig: Home run!

The bunny flew a distance, then landed, then the robot sucked it up. Ludwig had destroyed Tellatubby Land and he was happy. Then he remolded the mound to fit his needs. Though Ludwig had done his duty and destroyed Tellatubby Land, his siblings had their missions and all of these happened at once, that was because I don’t want to cut from show to show every five seconds.
 

OK, let's look. Larry was duct taped to the wall back at home. Lemmy and Iggy were stuck trying to get to a nearby castle in a horror movie. Ludwig owned Tellatubby Land. Monster trucks were still chasing Morton and we are yet to know what happened to Roy and Wendy.
 

Let us see what happened to Roy. When Roy landed he was in the middle of a wrestling ring.
Announcer Dude: Let’s get ready to rumble! Tonight the fighters are Koopa T. Quick and some guy in a shell with cool glasses.

Roy: Koopa The Quick! That's who betrayed King Dad by giving those Stars to Mario!

K.T.Q. (Koopa The Quick): Ahhhhhh! Prince Roy! How'd you get here?

Roy: I'm asking the questions.

K.T.Q.: Like why sea chimps aren’t chimps?

Roy: Yea- hey! Don't put words in my mouth! Just 'cause we're in a wrestling ring, I'm going to flatten you like a pancake.

K.T.Q.: Oh, I get it now.

K.T.Q. winked and then started to run around the ring. Roy reached out his hand and grabbed K.T.Q. while he was running.

Roy: Say, goodbye shell boy!

K.T.Q: Goodbye shell boy!

Roy hit K.T.Q and he fell down and whispered.

K.T.Q.: Not so hard, this match is rigged you know. We just need to keep the crowd happy.

Roy: What do you mean rigged?!

K.T.Q.: Where have you been?! Wrestling has always been rigged and-

Before he could finish Roy grabbed him and knocked his block off (meaning he punched his lights out).

Roy: That’s one turtle down.

Roy’s gut growled and he snapped the ropes of the ring and walked like a zombie to the hot dog stand. He picked the stand up and started eating the hot dogs, then sat in an empty chair.

Announcer: It’s seems that Roy beat the living snot out of Koopa The Quick and now is eating hot dogs and look Bob, he’s eaten the last one!

Bob: He sure is done and look, he seems to be dragging the hot dog stand and a folding chair up to the announcing booth where we are. It looks like he can’t get in because of the lock we put on the door, right Steve?

Steve: I believe so Bob, and it looks like he has just blasted through the door with his huge powerful hands and is trying to hurt us.

Roy blasted the door down and beat up the announcer dudes with a folding chair and the hot dog stand.

Bob: (in a weak voice) And that’s all for today, see you next time on the K.W.F.

Steve: Goodnight everybody.

Roy: Yeah, after I beat the living snot out of you.

Roy had taken control over the K.W.F and was making a few changes, like real fighting, and now Roy's mission was complete. Why do you ask that I call what they do a mission? ‘Cause I want to, that’s why!
 

And now we are going to join Morton as he was being chased by a dozen of monster trucks. Morton yelled, screamed, and talked while he ran and I don’t want to type out everything he said. But as he talked the drivers started to get sleepy and fell asleep at the wheel and swerved into the wall of the area.

Morton: I guess this time my mouth saved me.

Just then the announcer came on.

Announcer: Get ready for the ride of your life as we let the car crusher fight the monster trucks and anything on the field!

Morton: OH, OH!

A giant gate opened and a giant metal T-REX came out and breathed fire on the wreaked trucks.

Morton: Could we talk this out?

The T-REX shook its head no. Morton started running but the T-Rex was faster. Then Morton had an idea. He headed for Big Bertha, climbed in, and kicked the driver out.

Morton: And stay out!

Then he put the driver’s helmet on and started the motor.

Morton: Born to be wild!

The T-REX chased the truck and Morton drove the car through a wall of the area and drove around into the parking lot. Then he saw that the T-Rex was still following him so he drove past an exit sign. As he drove, he saw that the road was blocked off with roadblock signs. This is what each one of the signs said as he drove threw them: Turn back, dead end, no go, stop, stop, stop, bad place ahead, can’t you read, turn back now! Buy fuzzy socks, mama cows dairy farm ahead, turn now or die, oh I give up. As Morton drove through the last sigh he gasped.

Morton: A tiny rock in the road!

Morton drove over the rock, then hit the eject button and his seat flew up in the air and fell down in a parachute. But the truck flew off the rock spinning and flew high into the air the landed on mama cows farm and boom. You get the picture. A gust of wind pushed Morton’s parachute back to the arena and as he landed the T-REX spotted him.

Morton: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Morton tried to reach for his wand but it wasn't there so he ran to the crowd of people and jumped up there and ran towards a tiny black area of the arena that had a little room. Morton screamed as he ran toward it and he opened the door and saw a guy playing a video game.

Morton: Out of my way geek!

Morton threw him out of the room and started pushing buttons randomly. Morton saw a button labeled drunk and he pushed it. The T-REX stopped chasing after Morton and started dancing around like it was drunk and Morton broke out in laughter and so did the crowd. But then Morton took complete control of the T-REX and talked through it’s speakers.

Morton: I am now in control! Do as I say and no one will be hurt (Yeah right).

Later Morton took control of the arena and told all the people to leave. Then he raced around in the trucks until he got dizzy and fell asleep.
 

OK, now the only Koopas that haven’t done much get their turns. Wendy had hit ground in a shopping mall but this was no normal shopping mall! Wendy didn’t have her cash, credit card or any form of payment so she just sat there and did nothing, then threw a fit, and then fell asleep. That’s all for her.
 

Last we rejoin Iggy and Lemmy as we left them.

Lemmy: I tell you, I think some things following us, Iggy.

Iggy: Like that 20-foot spider with fangs which is planning to eat us and is right behind us?

Lemmy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Iggy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Werewolf: Bow-wow.

The werewolf came back with the stick and dropped it on Lemmy's foot.

Lemmy: Have to think of a plan. Umm, sic em'  uhhhh, werewolfy?

The werewolf jumped up on the spider and bit and this part is censored. Lemmy and Iggy sidestepped and then ran for it out of the dark woods.

Lemmy: That was gross and I think I lost my appetite.

Iggy: More cake?

Lemmy: Yes, please.

As the two brothers sat and ate cake and candy a shadow snuck around in the bushes.

Shadow: Ahhhhhhhhhh! Poison ivy!

The shadow jumped out of the bushes and Lemmy and Iggy instantly shined a flashlight on it.

Lemmy: Iggy, where’d the flashlight come from?

Iggy: I have no idea, Lemmy.

Shadow: Ahhhhhhhh! I hate light.

Lemmy: Who are you?

Shadow: I am Count Darkula.

Lemmy: Didn’t you teach numbers on Sesame Street?

Darkula: Blah, blah, blah.

Lemmy: Nice vocabulary but we need a place to sleep.

Iggy: Yeah.

Darkula: Ah, I see.

A flash of smoke was seen and next thing they know they were in the castle.

Lemmy: Handy.

Darkula: I will come back. I must wash my cape.

Darkula left and Lemmy and Iggy started trashing the place.

Lemmy: Bye bye piano!

Lemmy pushed the piano out the window, then Iggy and Lemmy started throwing everything in site out the window. After the room hadn’t anything left in it Darkula came back.

Darkula: What is the meaning of this?!

Then Iggy and Lemmy picked Darkula up and threw him out the window.

Darkula: Ahhhhhhh! I'm falling! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Darkula fell down to the ground, then Iggy shined his flashlight in his face.

Iggy: You all right, mister?

Darkula backed up and then noted that he was standing at the edge of a cliff that was bottomless.

Darkula: Stop shining that thing in my face! I can’t see!

Lemmy took a lamp and threw it at Darkula. Darkula fell off the cliff.

Darkula: Get that light out of my face so I can change into a bat! Oh, no! It's morning and I'm nowhere near my coffin! The sun rose and Darkula disappeared. Lemmy and Iggy talked for a minute.

Lemmy: Well, he's a goner. So Iggy, how about we take control of this dump and call it Horrorland or something?

Iggy: Sure.

Then Lemmy and Iggy took control over Horrorland.
 

As you can see, they all took control (except for Wendy). Back at the castle Bowser went downstairs and as he opened the door it smashed Larry’s face and then the A.K.P.R. busted through the doors and grabbed Bowser. There were 20 of them and they were all (besides one) Pokemon. One of them happened to be TMS, as he called himself, and the other leader was Sandslash.

Sandslash: Ok, you’re in big trouble Bowser You hacked into the A.K.P.R. and took the code.

TMS: Yeah, what he said.

The Pokemon pointed guns and stuff at Bowser and then TMS looked down and saw their remote.

TMS: Hey, Baywatch is on.

Sandslash: We will take care of you later Bowser. We got to, um, oh, just stay tied up while we watch Baywatch.

TMS flipped channels until he saw Baywatch, then he hit exit. Just then, all the Koopa Kids appeared from nowhere behind the coach and untied Bowser, but before Bowser could beat the crud out of them TMS hit enter and all the Pokemon got sucked into the TV and then the TV blew up. All the Koopa Kids got up.

Lemmy: Ludwig? What are you wearing?

Ludwig: The skin off a Tellatubby as a cape. WHY?

Bowser: What’s going on?

Lemmy: King Dad, we will tell you tomorrow, we're tired.

The Koopa Kids went up to bed and went to sleep.

Larry: Um, could someone untie me? Hello? I'm still taped to the wall.

Wait, you ask what happened to TMS and the Pokemon?

TMS: Go away! I'm having too much fun on Baywatch.

All of the Pokemon: Us too! Now beat it.
 
 
 
 
 

This space for rent
 
 

Have a scribble of your own?  Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Scribbles.
Go back to my main page.