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QUOTES

 
 

"We can dthis the easy way, or we can do this the hard way,
The easy way being you sign that contract and make everything official,
and the hard way being you don't sign it and I take that contract, and shove
it so far up your @$$, I'll have to open your mouth to sign it!!!"

"It's a great day to be a blonde."
     Steve Austin and Brian Pillman's favourite quote, when they teamed as the Hollywood
     Blonds.

     "You know, if you really think about it! You would have made a damn good looking woman!"
     Steve Austin's comments about Johnny B. Badd (Marc Mero) Summer of 1994.

     "Ricky Steamboat, you are one of the greatest wrestlers to ever lace up the boots, but I'm
     going to tell you right now, that you just saved yourself one hell of an asskicking!"
     Steve Austin to Ricky Steamboat at FallBrawl 1994.

     "You can get your ass out of the ring while he announces my name, because my name is
     Steve Austin, and tonight for a very, very short while, your name is Eric Bischoff."
     Steve Austin to Mickey Whipwreck before one of their matches.

     "Youíre a piece of garbage! You donít deserve to be in the same ring with Stone Cold, much
     less the same state! What Iím gonna do is forfeit the match right now son.
     Iím gonna forfeit the match out of the goodness of my hart, because Iím in a good mood
     today! Years from now, you can say to your kids: I was fortunate enough to beat Stone
     Cold in a match, a forfeit no less, but it was a win!
     The question Iím gonna ask you: Are gonna accept the forfeit? Or am I gonna have to go a
     head and stomp your little guts in?" 
     Austin's proposal to Aldo Montoya. Of course Austin stomped Aldo's little guts in!

     "The first thing I want be done is to get that piece of crap out of my ring! Don't just get
     him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF, because I've proven son, without a shadow of
     a doubt - you ain't got what it takes anymore.
     You sit there and you thump your bible and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you
     anywhere. Talk about John. 3:16, Austin 3:16 says: I've just whipped you ass!!
     All he is got to do is buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird, and try to dig back some of
     that courage, he had in his prime.
     As the King of the Ring, I'm serving notice to everyone of the WWF superstars. I don't
     give a damn what they are, they are all on the list, and that is Stone Cold's list, and I'm
     fixing to start running through all of them.
     As far as this championships match is considered, son, I don't give a damn, if it's Davey
     Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels. Steve Austin's time has come, and when I get the shot, you
     are looking at the next WWF champion, and that's the bottomline - cause Stone Cold said
     so!"
     Steve Austin's speech at the King of the Ring 1996.

     "Screwed my ass Bret! You're sitting out there whining and crying, because you are a
     loser! I tried to come out and help you win the title. It could have been you and me going
     for it all at WrestleMania, but you blew the whole damn thing because you are a loser!
     Well Bret, at WrestleMania 13, you will say "I Quit" and someday, it will be you and me
     for the championship, and I will be the next WWF champion!"
     Austin commentating about Bret Hart's loss to Sid in a steel cage match, before
     WrestleMania 13.

     "Get your ass up - you longhaired freak!"
     Austin to Mankind.

     "DTA - you stupid piece of trash. Don't ever trusth anybody. You ain't gonna be my
     partner, never. Cause you are a longhaired freak, and you suck!"
     Austin to Mankind, after giving him the Stone Cold Stunner.

     "I couldn't understand a word you said but it sounds like you're pissed..."
     Austin to Faarooq.

     "You got your little challenge, you think you are big and tough. You stand up there all
     jacked up. I got some challenges for you.
     I challenge you to get a descent haircut!
     Since you are a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself out the toilet (Not his
     exact word)"
     Austin to Rocky Maivia.

     "Because I am sick and tired of seeing Mike Tyson. He comes in, he is shaking everybody's
     hands, making friends with all the WWF superstars. And it made me so damn sick, that I've
     been in the back throwing up."
     Steve Austin's opinion about Mike Tyson.

     "Oh Hell Yeah! No more Mr. Nice Guy until after the Rumble"
     Austin's statement after a couple of Stunners before the Royal Rumble 1998.

     "I got nothing to say to you. Just park my damn truck, and if you scratch it, you are going
     to get you ass whipped."
     Austin to Michael Cole, when he arrived at the Royal Rumble 1998.

     "You can cover up your eyes your ears and your mouth but you can't cover up your ASS!
     And when it's all said and done that's where i'm gonna stick this Belt and that's the bottom
     line cuz Stone Cold Said So"
     Austin is on a roll.

     "This is completely pathetic. Lights go off and Kane Shows up. I'm supposed to be
     scared..Well I ain't"
     Steve's opinion about Kane.

     "You got 30 seconds to bring your ASS Out here or I'll tear up every 50,000 dollar
     camera you got... You can't afford not to bring your ASS Out here!"
     Austin wants McMahon.

     "To Kane, to Kane I say this: I accept your little stipulations on your match. I accept any
     kind of match you wanna throw at Stone Cold Steve Austin because I've bled before, I
     ain't afraid to bleed again but when you put this son of a bitch on the line it means your
     big dead ass belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin and let me tell you something, you say that
     if you dont win the WWF title you'll set yourself on fire. I'll tell you something right now
     if your dumb enough to set your ass on fire in this ring you can bet your bottom dollar that
     Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna bring all the marshmellas, all the hot dogs and all the
     beer. Doesn't matter to me. You can be a human campfire and I'll sit down and watch you
     burn all day long and if you start to go out you can rest assured that old Stone Cold will
     be right there to throw another log on the fire."
     Stone Cold before the first blood match. Sent to me by Austin4E4@aol.com.

     "Take the cupcake out of your mouth fatass, and give me an answer!"
     Steve to Paul Bearer, sent to me by raymond@pineland.net.

     "When the glass breaks I am out there ready to whoop somebodies ass."
     A usual Austin quote sent to me by LaSalle@InfoAve.Net.

     "Owen Hart! I'm not going to listen to the doctors, I'm not going to wear this piece of crap
     they gave me. The fact that you dropped me on my head last night, don't mean a damn thing
     to me! The fact of the matter was you were too stupid to cover me when you had the
     chance! The bottom line is you're a loser, Owen Hart. Not because I say you are, but
     because it runs through your veins, cause your mom and dad gave that to you, and I can't
     do nothing about that! Tonight I truly will, open up a can of whoop-ass and show you
     exactly what Austin 3:16 means, and that's the bottom line!!!"
     Austin to Owen Hart sent to me by student@pegasus.rutgers.edu

     "When 3:16 show's up on you're pager you know your ass is mine! And thats the bottom line
     cause Stone Cold said so!"
     One of Austin's tricks in his feud with Rocky Maivia sent to me by MNSTANGSR1@aol.com

     "You don't suck cause these people say you suck you cause Stone Cold said so!"
     Austin to Rocky Maivia sent to me by acdfan@hotmail.com

     "What I want to kow if its Stone Cold Steve Austin against Kane and Mankind or is it
     Stone Cold steve Austin against 3 opponents so I want to know where the hell you comin
     from!"
     Austin and Undertaker in Raw is war sent to me by digifreak9@hotmail.com

     The following Austin quotes was sent to me by Toreador@Tropicweb.net.

     "You think you can beat my ass, Hell No!, I think I can beat your ass, Why Hell Yeah!!!" 
     Austin to McMahon. 

     "Come on you stupid bastard, Hit me"
     Austin to McMahon before Wrestlemania 14 

     "Does anyone have a cold beer for Steve Austin?"
     Austin on RAW 

     "You look like the Jack Ass of the year to me"
     Austin to McMahon

     "You come out here claiming your a gorilla, yet you heehaw like a jackass."
     Steve to Gorilla Monsoon sent to me by parzoj@earthlink.net

     "If you put an "S" infront of HITMAN you know what I think of him!!" Austin talking
     about Bret Hart sent to me by parzoj@earthlink.net

     "If you want some mercy son, then take your a$$ to church"
     Steve when he is at his best, sent to me by Daniel.Coleman@mortgagesvcs.com

     " Don't say one word Vince I'll knock you danm lights out too."
     Austin talking trash to Vince McMahon, sent to me by VFord20366@aol.com

     "What you have just proved with a shadow of a doubt, you are the world's dumbest SON
     OF A BITCH"
     Austin to McMahon right before McMahon was arrested sent to me by @efn.org

     "The Undertaker just told you to go to hell so I'll spin you around kick you in your ass and
     give you a head start."
     Again Austin talks trash to Vince McMahon, sent to me by rmorris@1st.net

     "You treat me like a dog and expect me to smile, you remind me of a jackass!"
     Austin to Vince when Vince thought he tamed him, this was sent to me by
     laranko5@erols.com.

     The following 6 quotes was sent to me by dn448@freenet.carleton.ca
     "You were probably paradin' around in your little pajamas with the World title goin' to
     your wife: 'Honey, how do I look as WWF champion?' She probably thought you looked
     like a jackass, because you do!"
     Austin to Vince just before challenging him to a match 

     "You said you weren't a scrooge, how do you feel now you silly bastard?"
     Austin to Briscoe when Briscoe was arrested 

     "You said you didn't suck, who sucks now, you bastard?"
     Austin to Patterson when Patterson was arrested 

     "Aw, how do you feel now you silly, little bastard? You think you're so damn special, don't
     ya?"
     Austin to Vince when Vince was arrested 

     "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're so damned stupid."
     Austin's apology to Vince after Austin was arrested 

     "If you came here asking me for one of my beers, forget it, I ain't got none for you."
     Austin to Commisioner Slaughter a week before WrestleMania 14 

     "Well VInce, you told me that I had one foot in the grave. I'll tell you this son. Tonight I'm
     gonna take my foot out and stick it up your @$$!"
     Austin To Vince On Monday Night Raw, sent to me by Teetee0811@aol.com

     "Well if everybody would like to see it say i got the damn rematch jackass say something
     get that stupid look off ur face!!"
     Austin challenging Kane to a rematch, sent to me by sandman_149@hotmail.com

     "I'm going to whoop the Undertaker's ass, and then I'm going to throw him into the back
     of that hearse. And if you get in my way, I'll beat your ass too. Then I'll throw your ass
     into the hearse, and I'll drive all three of us down the highway to hell, going 110 miles per
     hour! And that's the bottom line, cause STONE COLD SAID SO!"
     Austin to McMahon, sent to me by Keph02@aol.com

     "You say I have one foot in the grave right now, but I'm gonna pull that foot out of the
     grave and shove it up your ass, AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE CAUSE STONE COLD
     SAID SO!!"
     Austin to the Undertaker on RAW, from poop112@mailcity.com.

     The following six quotes were sent to me by lscvi@flash.net
     "Cause when you put this son of a bitch on the line it means that your big dead ass belongs
     to stone cold and that's the bottom line."
     Stone Cold to Kane Before first blood match 

     "If you want me to continue to do things the hard way then give me a HELL YEAH!!!!
     Stone Cold to Vince

     "I'll stomp a mud hole in ya son and then walk you dry"
     Stone Cold talking trash

     "Sure I'll fight ya son. I might lie in a headlock for fifteen minutes or I might knock your
     damn lights out just like that."
     Austin talking trash 

     "It's not a race thing it's a kicking your ass thing and that's the bottom line"
     Stone Cold to Farooq

     "You can get a special ref hell you can get a special jackass I really don't give a ratas ass"
     Stone Cold to Vince before over the edge

     "A submission match,is not my kinda match. Do I know a whole lot of wrestling holds,HELL
     NOO I DONT!!!But I will beat your ass till u do say I quit.You sit there,every week you get
     on tv, saying ya been screwd. Well let me tell ya this son. I aint bringing a condom to the
     ring, I'M BRINGING A HELL OF A CAN OF WHOOP ASS!!!!"
     Stone colds comment on the submission match againts bret Hart.

     "Well I'll tell you what, Owen Hart last night, Calgery Stampede, 1 2 3, Stone Cold Steve
     Austin's looking up at the lights!! I'll tell you this and I want this put in the contract...don't
     flinch I aint gonna hit ya...I want this put in the contract. Bret Hart says if he gets beat, he
     won't wrestle in the United States again...BIG DEAL!!! If I can not beat Owen Hart at
     Summerslam, after the match when he pins me 1 2 3, if that happens, he can role down his
     trunks, pull down his little panties, bend over and I'll kiss him right on his ass RIGHT IN
     FRONT OF THE WORLD!!!! Put that in the Contract!! THATS THE BOTTOM LINE, I'LL
     KISS HIS ASS IF I CAN'T KICK IT AND THATS THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE!!!!!"<
     Steve Austin says to Vince McMahon on his match with Owen Hart at SummerSlam, the day
     after the Calgery Stampede on Raw, sent to me by tony4evr@jps.net

     "It's not a race thing...it's not a COLOR thing...it's a me kicking your ass thing, and that's
     just what I'm gonna do!"
     Austin to Faarooq, sent to me by admin@iknet.com

     "You see...the old Steve Austin would've told you to take that camera and shove it up your
     ass...but the new, improved Austin is gonna tell you to take as many pictures as you
     can...because this is the first...AND LAST...time you will ever...EVER....see Stone Cold Steve
     Austin in a freaking suit!!!"
     Austin to McMahon when Austin was "reformed" sent to me by admin@iknet.com.

     "I'm fixin to come up there... and put this foot... IN YOUR A$$!!!!"
     Again a Austin classic to McMahon, from glass316@yahoo.com

     "I outta knock your damn lights out for wearing those stupid shoes!"
     line before the Austin-Kane rematch for the WWF title, from CCom192742@aol.com

     ".....Your sixty minutes is up,but the reign of violence of Steve Austin is set and the World
     Wrestling Federation will continue,and I cant be stopped cause there ain't nobody here
     that can stop me,and that the bottom line....WHY?.......Because Stone Cold said so!!!..."
     Steve Austins' words at the end of "Stone Cold said so video", sent to me by
     AMPAROM@iwk0.attnet.or.jp

     "I appreciate the fact that you support the fight Austin vs. Tyson, I appreciate the fact
     that you're out here to promote that because Stone Cold Steve Austin can damn well beat
     the living crap out of Mike Tyson."
     Austin tells Shawn Michaels the facts of life before Wrestlemania XIV, from
     julianswann@compuserve.com

     The following three quotes are from jkreitze@brill.acomp.usf.edu
     "Your limo driver's knocked out and you got four flat tires!"
     The night he challenged McMahon to a match on Raw. 

     His promo for MTV's "Celebrity Deathmatch: DeathBowl '98" 
     "If you all are gonna be watching football on Super Sunday gimme a hell yeah"
     (Crowd: "Hell yeah!")
     "If you all think halftime shows suck, gimme a hell yeah"
     (Crowd: "Hell yeah")
     "You turn the dial on your TV to MTV for 'Celebrity Deathmatch: Deathbowl '98"
     (SCSA mentions the matches)
     "Open up your own can of whoop-ass. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold Said
     So!"

     Great Celebrity Deathmatch quotes: 
     (About the match between brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher of the rock group Oasis) 
     "They might look like a couple of skinny nancy boys but give them a couple pints of lager
     and they can do some property damage" 
     (About an "electrified razor wire cage of death" match between Jay Leno and David
     Letterman) 
     "Electrified barbed wire and human flesh just don't mix." 
     (During a match of Bruce Willis/Demi Moore v. Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman where all four
     stars are on top of each other in the ring) 
     "I've seen four car pileups but never four star ones." 

     "When you hear the glass it's Vince's ASS!!!!!"
     Another Austin classic, sent to me by DCA0001@aol.com

     "Sportsmanship...what a load of crap, don't preach your morality to me! Steve Austin
     doesn't have any mercy... you want mercy? Take your ass to church!!"
     A great Austin quote from nkhan316@venis0.demon.co.uk

     "Can you speak up? I cant hear a damn word youre saying cause you've got 18,000 people
     calling you a asshole."
     Stone cold to McMahon at Judgement Day after being fired, from
     westover1@MARSHALL.EDU

     "If I have to fight both Undertaker and Kane at Breakdown I won't be bringing Austin
     3:16 you can damn well bet I'll be bringing Austin 6-6-6. And that's the damnedest bottom
     line I ever bottom-lined!!!"
     Austin talking trash 1 week before IYH Breakdown, from Ranger889@aol.com

     "You said it would be "McMahon 3:16 says: I've got the brass to fire your ass"...well, it
     looks more like "McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants!"
     Austin to McMahon after he scared McMahon enough to lose control of his "bodily
     functions", from larrycohen@home.com.

     "If you want me to pop out Vince's eyes give me a HELL YEAH"
     Stone Cold to Vince McMahon on Raw is War on October 19th, from MJ23rcks@aol.com.

     "You gotta figure I weigh 240-250 pounds...When you get dropped on your head...Well that
     just ain't worth a damn."
     Said to Jim Ross in a interview after Summer Slam "1997, from scandal@cconnect.net

     Everybody` s calling you baddest man on the planet , but right now you got your beedy
     little eyes locked on eyes of THE World's toughest son of a bitch!"
     Austin to Mike Tyson before Wrestlemania 14 from ddjukic@sprint.ca.

     " It's always easy to be a smartass when you got a microphone in your hand. Hell son,
     you're halfway across the building or I'd open a can of whoopass on you right here on the
     Billboard Music Awards! I know you people are looking up here, saying: "Hell, he looks like
     the toughest SOB on the planet!" Well, guess what, basically you hit the nail right on the
     head, because you gotta be one tough SOB to exist in the world of sports entertainment.
     When I get home, off the road, and out of the ring, I like to drink a little beer, drive my
     pickup truck, and do some huntin', but my favorite form a relaxation is to listen to country
     music. So, I'm real proud to introduce the four finalists of country's artist of the year." 
     Austin presenting an award at the Billboard Music Awards 1998, from TJSP34@aol.com.

     "The first thing I want you to do Vince, is shut your stinkin hole. Last night the entire
     world saw me whip Bret Hart's ass with his own world famous sharpshooter! The only
     problem is the rest of the Hart Foundation showed up to save his candy ass. You have
     thirty seconds Bret. Thirty seconds to get out here. Don't worry about puttin on your little
     black and pink tights because they look like crap anyway!"
     Austin talking trash about Bret Hart, from jpinch@ns.imlay.k12.mi.us

     "Im gonna whup your ass you big dead bastard!!"
     Austin various times to UT during their fued in '98, from r.bedford@ieee.org

     "We need medical attention to loading dock 7 and somebody tell Vince McMahon that his
     ass belongs to Stone Cold"
     Steve talking into a walkie talkie, from jeramiah69@hotmail.com.

     "Don't spill my damn beer!"
     Steve to Jim Ross after Chainsaw landed on the announcers table, from
     STONECOLD327@hotmail.com 

     "You Wanna do what I do 4 a living son, then step into the WWF Warzone, go ahead
     create your own wrestler just another victim 4 Stone Cold to take out 4 player action 4
     more BEEP kicked a piece of trash like you is gonna get in the steal cage with me all the
     moves in the World wont mean jack when you meet the Stone Cold Stunner, you wanna
     survive the WWF Warzone stay away from me and thats the bottom line cause Stone Cold
     said so."
     Stone Cold on the WWF warzone commericial, from CuTeSoB316@aol.com

     "You just hit the nail right on the head son!"
     1 of his famous quotes, from CuTeSoB316@aol.com

     "I dont care if Vince owns this ring but if he gets in this ring I'm gonna kick his ass out of
     it and thats the bottom line why?!? Cause I said so"
     Austin on Raw is War, from CuTeSoB316@aol.com

     "I aint askin ya to lay down I'll knock your A$$ down!!!"
     From Sangabriel@email.msn.com

     "Vince: For once in your life, listen to reason and don't react in a physical and violent way.
     Stone Cold: If ya want me to react in a physical and violent way, give me a HELL YEAH!!!!"
     From lrice@apex2000.net

     The next five quotes are from ddt@netsync.net
     "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I didn't beat your ass worse that I beat it!"
     Austin to McMahon after the steel cage match in February of 99 

     "When I got up this morning, looked past the pile of beer cans and I saw this WWF title
     sittin' there, I said to myself, this damn thing ain't worth all the trouble, I looked at this
     belt and said, this thing just ain't worth all the aggravation. I looked at that WWF title
     belt and said 'EH EH' this damn thing just ain't gonna cut it!"
     Austin on the last RAW (March 29, 1999) 

     "I'll drop you on that stack 'a dimes you call a neck!"
     Famous Austin quote 

     "I'm gonna check myself into the Smackdown Hotel, roll right up to room 3:16 and burn
     that sonuvabitch, to the ground!!!!"
     Austin to Rock on the RAW before WrestleMania XV 

     "YOU SUCK!"
     He's said that more than a few times!

     "Rock, you can sit there and spin your little nursery ryhmes about know your role avenue or
     jabroni dr. but I'll tell this son you better get your Ass serious Cause at Wrestlemania 15
     Stone Cold Steve Austin is Gonna take his ass To Philladelphia Check Right into the Smack
     Down Hotel..Role Right into Romm 316 And Burn the Son of A Bitch To The Ground...After
     wrestle mania Stone Cold is gonna drink a hell of a lot a beer so I think we should share a
     little beer right now." 
     Stone Cold to the Rock and Vince just before giving them a beer bath, from
     LiViNaSiNz@aol.com.

     "Undertaker you said you and Kane trying to take my title is nothing personal! Well when
     you try to take that away from me your damn right its personal! But Ah! Uh! Dont expect
     Austin 3:16 to show up for that match!........EXPECT AUSTIN 666!"
     From rdefrez1@rochester.rr.com

     "I will give you 5 seconds to get out of this ring you lucky son of a bitch or I will drop you
     on that roll of dimes you call a neck and thats the bottom line because Stone Cold said so."
     Stone Cold to Shawn Michaels on a Monday Night Raw 1997 from
     WIDESPORTS@prodigy.net.

     "You better give your soul to the Lord or somebody cause your ass is mine."
     To the hart foundation from WIDESPORTS@prodigy.net.

     "I'll beat your ass in my backyard, I'll beat your ass up in your backyard, hell son, I'll
     beat your ass up in anyone's here backyard."
     From bjgilbert@email.msn.com

     "Yesturday I got up and I looked at that piece of sh*t belt and I said:ah-ah! I said that
     piece of shit isn't worht all that trouble and Vince the piece of shit I want is the belt I
     made! Vince I'll tell you this youve got 2 hours to get my belt and give it to me or you will
     know what Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass really means!!!!"
     From Xpac0069DX@aol.com

     "Listen Rock, Bring your nursery rhyme singin' ass out here so Stone Cold can show you the
     meaning of "SMACK DOWN" means."
    

     " I'll kick your ass in your back yard, I'll kick your ass in my back yard, hell I'll kick your
     ass in anybody out here's back yard!"
   

     "Don't take this ass-whoopin personally son."
     From the game WWF Warzone, from dorfen@hotmail.com

     "....Its fun to beat someone's ass at anywhere around the world.But if you beat someone's
     ass in Houston, then you done something, so thats exactly what I'm gonna do, and if you
     don't get the hell out of here, I'll start with your ass!"
  
    "You remember that clause you had awhile back that said I could never asault you unless
     you actually physically provoked me, well that all been changed. From now on Vince, from
     now on, it's open season on Vince McMahon, so what that means is any time you show up on
     a Monday night Raw as soon as you step out of that car, when you step out of that car,
     Stone Cold Steve Austin can punch you right in the mouth...and the only thing you can do
     about it Vince is reach down pick up your little teeth put 'em in your shirt pocket and go on
     about your business! Now look at me! If you decide not to come to work that means Stone
     Cold can drive to Greenwhich, Conneticut knock on your front door, when you answer that
     front door I can punch you right in your mouth and the only thing you can do about it is
     pick up your little teeth, put 'em in your shirt pocket and say 'Linda! Stone Cold knocked
     out some more of my teeth!'"
    
 

Most of these came from Powerslam.