Because I Love Her
"There are some
hard choices ahead." She tells me.
As if I dont know.
She comes into my home and tells me that her daughter is young.
Too young. As if I dont know. She acts as though she is the
elder, she forgets that I am old enough to be her grandfather
several times over.
"If she cant make them, youre going to have
to."
I have been thinking about this, almost non-stop, ever since the
mayor gave his little speech at the school last week.
Not that I hadnt thought about it before, it just really
brought my doubts, my worries, my fears, to the forefront, It had
been so easily dismissable before. Shes only a teenager;
these are things we wont have to think about for years to
come.
But I know, better than anyone else that those years will go by
so quickly. I understand like only someone who has been around
for two and a half centuries those five, ten, twenty years are
hardly any time.
"I know you care about her, I just hope you care
enough."
A part of me snaps.
What does she know? How could she know? For two years her
daughter had an entire life that she kept secret from her, how
can she know Buffy like I do?
I come to a realization. Yeah, I cant give Buffy days in
the park, and children to take on those days in the park. I
cant grow old with her. I cant give her a normal
life.
But there is one thing I can give her.
True love.
My poor doomed Buffy. Life is so cruel to her. On one hand,
shes found her other half. I complete her and she completes
me. But if she has me, she cant have all the other things
that go with a normal life.
So, lets say I leave her. She eventually finds another man
to love. She wont love him with all her heart. She probably
wont love him at all; maybe shell just feel affection
for him. So my Buffy settles for that- when she should never ever
have to settle. They marry he gives her children. She still
wont be truly happy because she will be incomplete without
me.
I feel an incredible fury at the woman standing before me,
telling me that *she* knows what is best for Buffy.
In a strained voice, I tell her. "I love Buffy more than I
have loved anyone. Id do anything for her, and if giving
her up means making her happy, Ill do it without a
doubt."
She starts to smile, thinking that shes gotten her daughter
away from the older man she likes to hold responsible for Buffy
not having a chance at normalcy. Shes still in denial that
its not me; Buffy is a slayer regardless.
"But it wont make her happy."
She gapes at me. "But Ang.."
"Shell be completely alone! I am the closest one to
her that can even somewhat understand how she feels. I know you
think I shouldnt second-guess you because you are her
parent, but there is only one parent of Buffys I would
listen to. Its not you. Its not your ex-husband.
Its Giles. Hes more of a parent to her than you have
ever been!"
"How dare you!" She argues, glaring at me for daring to
challenge her.
"How dare I? What, I dont know what its like for
Buffy? I dont hear how she feels about everything
thats going on in her life? She has been confiding in me
for a lot longer than you."
"So, youre going to let her keep going like this?
Being with her, but not *being* with her? Denying her the chance
for a normal life?"
"When are you going to understand she will never be
normal?!" I shout. "I understand that you are in
denial, but you need to get with it! Be a good mother for once
and be realistic and help your daughter! It should not be her job
to protect you from reality!"
"I tried to appeal to your sense of reason, but apparently
you dont have one!" She tells me as she points a
finger at me in accusation. "I am now telling you that you
had better stay away from my daughter."
I shake my head. "I love Buffy, and I may not be the best
person for Buffy when it comes to what I can give her, but she
loves me and shell die without me!"
"Youll see my daughter again over my dead body!"
She replies, shaking with anger. The woman obviously hates it
when people tell her the truth.
"Over your dead body, huh?" I reply, my control slips
and the demon inside of me takes over. My muscles full of rage, I
grab her by the shoulders and pull her flush against me.
"That can be arranged." I tell her through gritted
teeth.
In one quick second, I snap her neck and she is gone.
Gone forever.
* * *
Shes here. My love. My sunshine. The only thing that brings
my cold, dead heart warmth. I think my soul is gone. I feel no
remorse for the bitchs death. I suppose it makes sense that
I wouldnt, but I should at least feel bad for my Buffy.
Ive killed her mother. The woman who gave her life-
possibly the only good thing the late Joyce Summers ever did.
I know my Buffy will be sad, her heart is too big and she loves
even the most undeserving. But I will help her through the pain.
For a moment I wonder if I should have moved the body, its
lying in the middle of the floor where she fell after I killed
her.
Its too late now, and as I watch from the shadows I see my
love crouching down by the body of her dead mother that
shes just discovered. Shes shaking, and for a moment,
I wonder if shes shaking in anger at her for trying to pull
us apart, when I realize that she doesnt know that yet.
Shes shaking in sorrow as tears stream down her face and
sobs erupt from her throat. Stealthily, I walk up behind her and
wrap my arms around her; her back pressed against my chest. She
lays her head back against me and hides her face in the crook of
my neck.
Even dead, the bitch still causes her pain. I have to change
that. I shift her in my arms and carry her up to my bedroom. She
likes to lie in my bed, she says its so soft its like
lying in the clouds.
I lay her down and smooth the hair from her face. Shes not
crying as hard now. The tears still stream down her face, but
shes silent, except for the occasional sniffle.
"W-what happened?" She asks me. Her eyes search mine
for understanding.
"I killed her." Is my soft reply. For a moment I worry
shell kill me. If she attacks I know I wont be able
to fight back. I may be soulless, but I love her.
I only fought her before because I had to prove myself to the
minions and Spike and Drusilla. Now its just the two of us
and I can love her like Ive longed to.
"What did she do to you?" She asks, surprising me.
"What?" I reply, unsure if I heard her right.
"I know you wouldnt kill her just because.
Did she try to hurt you?"
I nod sadly. "She wanted to take you away from me. She said
I was bad for you, and that you werent old enough to make
the decision to break up, so I had to. It pushed me over the
edge."
She grabs me and pulls me down to her; I rub my face in her hair
as it lies on the pillow. She always smells so sweet.
"I hate to say it," she tells me, "but my mother
was an idiot. I was able to dismiss whatever shed done to
me, but nobody messes with my boyfriend!"
I smile against her hair, then I tell her. "I lost my
soul."
"I know, I could see it in your eyes." She replies.
Oh, is it any wonder I love this girl? She knows me and loves me
like nobody in history has loved anyone else. I move my face
lower, softly kissing a trail down the side of her face before I
find her luscious lips. She kisses me back and moves a warm hand
inside my shirt to lay against my chest.
I feel her fingers pulling at the hem of my shirt as she kicks
off her shoes. I help her pull it over my head and start to tug
at her blouse. Its got two layers, one is sheer and the
other is silky. I get hold of both of them and draw it up her
body. I lean back on my knees, gazing at the beauty beneath me.
Shes breathing heavily, her lips pink and slightly swollen
from our kissing. Her skin has a warm glow to it, and I have
never seen her dressed so well as the strapless white bra and the
pale pink skirt.
But I can imagine a better outfit.
I slowly pull the zipper on the side of her skirt down and haul
the article off her body. I smile at the sight of her white
thong. Her tan skin contrasts wonderfully with her undergarments.
She looks so perfect; I almost want to keep her in them.
Almost.
I move off of the bed, to quickly pull my pants and boxers off my
body. I notice a little fear and excitement in her eyes as she
catches sight of my erection. I smile fondly as I remember our
first night together, when she had apprehensively asked me if I
was sure it would fit inside her. I had chuckled and shown her
that it indeed could.
Eager to show her again, I move back to the bed to lay beside her
and lightly stroke my fingers over her stomach, leaving a trail
of goosebumps as I go. I capture her lips in a passionate kiss
before moving down to her breasts. I rub my tongue over one
pebble-like nipple through her bra, my thumb caressing its twin.
Buffy arch into my mouth and I revel at how responsive she is. I
will have a wonderful time teaching her the wonders of
lovemaking. I can already tell that shell be an eager
student.
I gently reach beneath her and unclasp her bra, letting her
breasts free. I have never seen a woman born with such perfect
breasts for her body. They are exactly right for her. On some
women theyd be too small, on some too big
. but for
Buffy, they are the greatest breasts I have ever seen.
I move my hands down, hooking into the sides of her thong. I
pluck them from her body and gently push her thighs apart and
position myself there.
I gaze into her eyes as I slide into her body for the second time
ever. Shes so tight, so warm. Ive never felt like I
belong somewhere the way I do when I am inside her. I stay still
for a moment, allowing her to adjust. Its funny, I have
never cared about being gentle, or being so determined to make it
the best experience of her life, like I do with Buffy. Even when
I was human, I didnt care. But I want- no I have- to make
this perfect for her. My only pleasure can be derived from hers.
She arches her hips up, urging me to move. I do as she wishes,
slowly pulling back, then thrusting back inside her. She works
with me, pulling away as I do, then slamming up to meet my
thrusts.
I weld my lips to hers, stroking her tongue with my own,
swallowing every squeak and moan that she emits. Her hands grab
my buttocks, pulling me tighter to her with each thrust. I lift
her thighs higher and she wraps them around my hips, opening her
up so that I can plunge even deeper into her warmth.
Her orgasm is sudden, unexpected, and explosive. She cries my
name out hoarsely. Its the greatest sound I ever heard and
I follow her into the abyss of ecstasy, exploding inside her,
planting my cold seed deep inside her womb.
We lay there for hours, in each others arms. Now that her
mother is gone, she has nowhere that she has to be. She promises
that shell move in here with me, so that I can hold her
every night. Ill kiss her good-bye in the mornings, and
greet her when she gets home from school. The days will go by so
much faster.
I may not be able to give her what every girl wants, but I will
make her happy. Its not everything, but its the best
we can have.
Because I love her.
The End