For personal and select distribution only. Copyright © by Lina Brav, June 2000.
When Roses Bleed
Chapter I
For Better Or Worse
by: Lina Brav
”We
did!?” Brian cut in eagerly. ”What does she say?”
His mother retrieved the folded, faintly yellow piece of
paper from the pocket of her apron, unfolded it, and quickly scanned the words
written in Horace's neat handwriting. ”She says she's already finished all her
exams for this term,” Michaela told the family, ”and that she and Andrew
will arrive here on the 30th to spend Christmas with us.” She smiled, passing
the telegram across the table to Brian's extended hand.
”The
30th!” he exclaimed ”Colleen's coming home tomorrow!” Brian had been
longing to see his sister for months now. She hadn't been able to come home in
time for Thanksgiving due to a massive amount of work at school and the
Sully-Quinn-Cooper family was now impatiently waiting for her and Andrew’s
return home from Philadelphia, even though they'd only be home for a month.
Katie
was no exception. ”Cween?” she questioned, her face lightning up with the
same smile as was present in the faces of the other family members around the
table.
”Yes, Katie. Co-ll-een is coming home tomorrow,” Michaela
told the toddler, pronouncing Colleen's name as clearly as possible. She stroke
her daughter's soft cheek with the back of her fingers.
”When's the train due?” Sully spoke up from the far end
of the table.
”At 9:30 am, so there'll be none of that sleeping in
tomorrow morning that someone's grown accustomed to on Saturdays,” Michaela
said meaningfully, looking at Brian.
”Who? Me?” Brian acted surprised, being able to tell from
the smile playing in the corners of his ma's mouth that she wasn't really
serious. The innocent tone of his voice evoked laughter from Sully and the
others weren't late to join him.
”Yes, you!” Michaela giggled, playfully accusing. The
laughter having decreased and eventually died out she continued, ”but I really
don't mind as long as you don't sleep all day or neglect any of your chores.”
”Thanks ma. Fact is, I've got some chores left that needs
to be done in the barn so, can I be excused?”
”May I be excused, Brian” she sighed. ”But yes, of
course you may. Don't you want any dessert? I made chocolate cake.”
”No, thanks. I'm filled up!” he rose, cleared off his
plate, put it in the sink and left for the barn.
”Well, does anyone else care for some dessert?” Michaela
asked hopefully as the door closed behind Brian.
”I want!” Katie pulled at her mother's sleeve. ”I
want!”
”What
do you say when you want something Kates? Remember?” Sully asked his daughter.
Katie
let go of Michaela's dress, put her index finger to her cheek, scrunched up her
little nose and thought real hard. A moment of silence later she spoke up, her
face bright, ”Peeease!”.
”Good
girl!” Michaela praised her, rose and walked over to the cold stove, on which
she had placed the cake. Cutting a small piece for Katie she asked over her
shoulder ”Would you like some too, Sully?”
”I
think I’ll just save it for later” he replied. ”One more bite and I won't
be able to walk on my own!”
”Well,
it's too bad you're so heavy or I would have carried you,” she said jokingly
and gave his shoulder a brief caress while walking by him. ”Here you go
sweetheart. Your cake.” She placed the plate in front of Katie and put a spoon
in her hand. Michaela sat down beside her daughter. ”How's Mr. Jenkin
doing?” she turned to Sully, picking up a left over subject from dinner. ”Is
his foot still bothering him?”
”He
looked alright. Said he was doing much better.” Sully emptied his cup of
cider.
”Good”
Michaela was relieved.
”He's
still using the crutches though,” Sully added.
”Well,
his foot was in a rather bad condition when I treated him. It should take a
while for it to heal I'm afraid.”
”Umm…
He's still fretting over that rabbit's lair he stuck it in.” Sully chuckled.
”He
told you so?” Michaela asked, surprised. ”He wasn't all that talkative when
he was in the clinic.”
”He usually talks a lot when I’m there. Sometimes it gets
to the point where I’m having a hard time concentrating on my work.”
”I got
the impression that he didn't quite like the idea of a lady doctor. It's lucky
you're soon done with that roof of his then,” she smiled sympathetically.
”Sure
is.” He nodded slightly towards the left of Michaela, who turned her head to
see what he had in view. Katie was eating chocolate cake with both hands and
face it seemed. She plopped the last piece into her mouth as Michaela whined,
hardly audible.
”Glad
you liked it,” she mumbled.
”Yummy!”
Katie clapped her sticky little hands together.
”Tasted
good, huh, Kates?” Sully chuckled.
”I'll
tell you what Sully. Why don’t you clean her up while I'll do the dishes.”
Michaela was not keen on cleaning up another mess today. This one wasn't nearly
as bad as the one yesterday though when Katie had managed to get mashed carrots
everywhere - in her hair, on her dress, in her face. It seemed like Katie was
constantly playing with her food. Michaela made a mental note to talk to Sully
about it later.
”Sure,”
Sully interrupted her thoughts. ”I'll clean her up.” His wife began clearing
off the table.
Half an hour later Michaela shed her apron and hung
it up on the hook beside the stove.
”And
then the little rabbit got all happy again and jumped home to his mommy,” she
heard Sully's deep voice from one of the wingback chairs in front of the
fireplace.
”Who
put him to bed and kissed him goodnight,” she finished his fairytale and
walked up to him and Katie.
”End,”
the toddler declared, obviously not sleepy at all.
”Well
Katie, what do you say we play a little game?” Michaela decided to try a
different approach to going to bed tonight. She gave Sully a look, telling him
with her eyes not to say anything.
”Game?”
Katie was surprised. Fairytales with mommy or poppy by the fire, in the evening
usually meant going to bed. Why not this night?
”Yes,
you'll be the little rabbit and I'll be his mommy,” Michaela suggested.
”Yeah!”
Katie was definitely in.
”So,
what did the little rabbit do when he was tired of being all alone out in the
woods?” Sully asked his daughter, catching on to his wife's idea.
”He
jwump home,” Katie climbed down to the floor and jumped towards the stairs,
trying her best to imitate a rabbit. Michaela smiled. There would be no trouble
getting her to bed tonight! She followed Katie and carried her upstairs to her
room.
”Then
his mommy put the little rabbit to bed,” Michaela rendered the story as she
placed her daughter on the bed. The little girl let out a yawn. Going to bed
didn't seem all that bad anymore. Michaela unbuttoned Katie's striped dress.
”Arms up, please.” She lifted the dress over the toddler's head and slipped
on the soft nightgown. Having removed shoes and stockings Michaela tucked Katie
in between the sheets.
Sully
appeared in the doorway, knocking softly on the doorframe. ”May I come in?”
”Poppy!”
Katie exclaimed, although sleepily, stretching out her arms for him. He went
into them and held her close for a while, indulging in her baby scent.
”G’night
Kates,” he kissed her cheek.
”Night
poppy,” the little girl replied.
”Coming
Michaela?” Sully asked his wife in a low voice on his way out of the room.
”I'll
be down in a minute” she replied.
Michaela
often wondered how she could be so truly happy. Now was one of those moments.
Here she was in a house lovingly built by her husband for her and their family,
standing beside the little bed in which a child lay, a life created out of a
tremendous love between her and Sully. Brian was growing up, something that
Michaela was adjusting to. He would always be her little Brian no matter how
much he'd tower up above her head. She was proud of him. He was becoming a fine
young man. Colleen was happy in her marriage with Andrew and studying to become
a doctor. Michaela was proud of her too. And Matthew… Michaela's heart still
ached for him and Ingrid but he was now a lawyer and a good one at that. She was
proud of him as well. Michaela was proud of all her children. She unconsciously
stroke her bulging belly, wondering who the little life cradled within would be.
Life was so beautiful, so perfect at the moment. ”I wish I could just stop
time,” she thought. ”It'd always be this way.” She smoothed Katie's blond
locks away from the little girl's forehead and softly hummed a lullaby. After a
while Katie's eyelids grew heavy and eventually dropped. Her breaths became deep
and even. ”Sleep well my sweet little girl,” Michaela whispered and softly
brushed her lips against her little daughter's forehead. She quietly blew out
the lamp and left the room. Michaela made her way down the stairs, looking for
Sully. She found him by the fireplace, stoking the fire.
”So,
what did Katie ask for to be blessed tonight?” he inquired with a smile.
”Last night it was the chickens,” he informed her.
Michaela
returned his smile, then it dawned on her. ”Oh dear, her prayers! We forgot
saying them! I should have remembered.”
”One
night doesn't matter,” he put the poker back in its place.
”But
it should be a habit. It shouldn't be once in a while. It'll lose its
importance.” She worked up her frustration over having forgotten.
Sully
smiled within. What pregnancy did to his wife! She’d fret over simple things,
literally cry over a glass of spilled milk and she’d forget things.
”Michaela,” he grabbed her shoulders, to gain her attention, and looked into
her eyes. ”It's just one night.”
Michaela
sighed. ”You're right Sully. I guess I'm just…” she was interrupted by the
front door opening. In came Brian.
”I
brushed Flash for you ma. She shines like a new penny.”
”Thank
you Brian,” Michaela gave her son a smile.
”I
think I'll just wash up and go to bed,” he told his parents. ”It's been a
long day. Night ma,” he kissed her cheek. ”Night pa.”
”Night
Brian,” Michaela and Sully replied simultaneously.
”Don't
forget we're picking up Colleen and Andrew at the trainstation tomorrow!”
Michaela reminded Brian as he ascended the stairs.
”I
won't!” he assured her.
Sully
sat down in one of the wingback chairs and pulled Michaela down with him to sit
in his lap. She leaned in towards his broad chest and let out a soft, content
sigh.
”What
was that for?” Sully asked, putting his arms around her waist.
”Nothing.”
”Nothing?”
he prompted.
”Well,
I'm happy, that's all.” She lazily drew circles on the back of Sully's hand
with her fingertips.
”Any
particular reason?”
”No,
just like that. I came to think of it up in Katie's room while tucking her in.
Speaking of which, it seems like time hasn't been present the last couple of
days but there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about.”
”What's
that?”
”About
Katie and the way she treats her food. Don't you think it's time we teach her
some table manners?”
”Table
manners?” Sully asked, knitting his brow.
”Yes!
Table manners. Haven't you noticed? She's constantly playing with her food,
making a mess out of practically every meal!” Michaela raised her voice.
”Of
course I've noticed! I clean her up every now and then too, remember?” he
reminded her softly.
”I
know. I'm sorry, Sully,” her voice was soft again.
”Don't
you think she's a little too young to be taught tablemanners? She's no more than
three,” Sully made his point.
”She's
not too young Sully,” Michaela told him. ”Besides, she can't keep messing up
her food all her life. What harm can it do if we try?”
”Alright,”
Sully agreed. ”We'll try, starting tomorrow. How's that?”
”Good,”
she stated emphatically.
”How
much are you planning on teaching her?” he wondered.
”Oh,
just the basics. Like how to eat without getting all sticky.”
Sully
dropped the subject.
They sat together in the chair for a while, relishing in the silence, the warmth
of the fire and in the love given one another. Michaela drew bigger and bigger
circles with her fingertips, making them stretch all the way to Sully's
shoulder. He let go of her waist with one hand to stroke her knee. Both were
unaware of their doings until the movements turned into sensuous caresses. Sully
placed a gentle kiss on Michaela's ear lobe. She turned her face up towards his
and their lips met ever so slowly for a long intense kiss. Eventually Michaela
withdrew and rose to her feet. Sully looked at her, the question clearly written
in his face.
”I'm
going to bed,” she answered simply, the special half smile of hers playing in
the corner of her mouth. Her eyes sparkled mischievously.
”You're
going to bed, huh?” his eyes mirrored hers.
”Uhuh,”
her voice was low and challenging.
He
played along. ”Seems like a good idea to me,” he let out a make-believed
yawn. Both smiling they joined hands and walked upstairs.
Just
outside their bedroom Sully swept Michaela off her feet. ”Sully! What are you
doing?”
”Carrying my bride over the threshold,” he grinned.
”But,”
Michaela objected.
”Shhh,”
he kissed her quiet, ”or we’ll wake up the kids.” He walked into their
bedroom and placed her in the center of the bed he had so lovingly carved with
his own hands.
”Your
bride?” she asked as he closed the door. He had turned the tables on her now.
She was no longer leading this game. He was and he enjoyed it.
He
deliberately neglected her question as he pulled down the covers with her still
in bed, fully dressed, watching him. He drew her close and whispered in her ear
”Let's pretend it's our wedding night.”
She
hooked onto his idea. ”So, my groom. You're looking very handsome,” she
kissed him deeply.
Michaela
broke off their kiss, deciding to once again take command over this game.
”Before anything, would you blew out the lamps downstairs? I’m afraid we
forgot to.”
”Michaela,”
Sully protested.
”Please,”
she added in her sweetest voice.
Never
being able to resist her when she used that tone he walked to the door with a
sigh. As he closed it behind him, Michaela hastily got out of bed and with a
smile on her lips frantically began rooting around in the back of her wardrobe.
Downstairs
Sully sighed while moving fast from lamp to lamp. Why would she want him to go
downstairs now? He hurried out into the kitchen to blow out the last lamp as he
spotted the chocolate cake left over from dinner, almost untouched with the
exception of Katie's small helping. He cut a big piece, put it on a tin plate,
then blew out the lamp and made his way towards his and Michaela's bedroom. On
his way he quickly checked on Katie and Brian. They were both sleeping soundly,
Katie with her thumb in her mouth and her other hand clutching her beloved
stuffed rabbit. He, then, reminded himself of what was waiting for him in the
other room, down the hallway: his bride, Michaela. The thought of her made his
heart race. He recalled their wedding day four years ago. How beautiful she had
been! Entering their bedroom tonight was like time traveling. He almost dropped
the cake as he beheld the vision in front of him. His bride was lying on the
bed, wearing the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. It was white, left her
shoulders bare and at the same time spread across the sheets like the snow
spread across the meadows in the winter. With flushed cheeks, Michaela tried to
read her husband's reaction. For a moment, she wondered whether her rash
decision to wear her wedding dress had been a foolish one. Her husband's eyes
told her otherwise. All she saw in them was awe. His gaze traveled up and down
her body. Her bare feet, peeking out from beneath the hem of the dress, her legs
hidden in the folds of rich fabric. He paused at her waist: she was showing and
he loved it. He looked lovingly at her glowing face. This truly was like their
wedding night. Here she was again: the blushing bride.
Tresses
came tumbling down, the heap of now crumpled articles of clothing grew and the
lamp was blown out. Love’s glow helped the flickering flames of the crackling
fire to spread a soft light across the room…
”To
have and to hold,”
”For better or worse.”
"For richer, for poor.”
”In sickness and in health.”
”To love and to cherish,”
”As long as we both shall live,”
"I do,” the couple later simultaneously
reaffirmed their vows. They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes for a while.
She into his dazzling blue. He into her rare, sparkling green and brown. Words
were superfluous. Eyes spoke what lips failed to form. Fingers communicated in a
language never known to mind.
”Close your eyes,” he whispered in her ear.
”Oh, I don't feel sleepy” she objected.
”Just
close your eyes,” he told her. She sighed and obeyed. He stretched out for the
plate with the chocolate cake. ”Open your mouth.” He fed her a small bite
from his fingers.
”Mmm,”
she opened her eyes, licking his fingers appreciatively. She laughed softly.
”So this is the moment for which you saved your dessert, huh?”
”Uhuh,”
he confirmed.
”I
can't believe we're pretending it's our wedding night and then we have dessert
in bed!” Michaela thought out loud. ”What would mother say?”
Sully
chuckled. ”You're thinking of your mother now?” She never ceased to amaze
him.
”No,”
she began. ”Actually no, I was more thinking of how far away from here she,
Boston and their manners seem at a time like this.”
”Do
you miss it?” Sully wondered, lazily rubbing her upper back.
”No, I
don't,” she answered truthfully. ”Like I told you, I'm happy here and life
is… well, leading my life here in Colorado Springs is so much more. It’s
fulfilling in a way I never felt it was back in Boston. And a lot of that
credits you I believe.” She squeezed his hand.
”How's
that?” he asked.
”You've
made me look at things differently, made me see them for what they are.”
”You've
made me see things in a different light too, Michaela. You brought me back from
my loneliness; made me see that perhaps life was worth living after all. I
didn't think it was when I lost Abagail, but you gave me your love and that
chased the past from me.”
Michaela
smiled.
He
resumed his caresses on her back, drawing circles around her shoulder blade.
Michaela played with the fingers on his other hand.
She
sighed. ”I'm afraid there's still a lot of Boston left in me though.”
”Is
that so bad?”
”You
don't think so?” she raised her eyebrows questioning.
”I
think you're perfect just the way you are. Boston or no Boston left in you.”
”Sully,”
Michaela softly spoke up a few moments later. ”Do you think the baby’s
alright?” she guided his hand from her back to her abdomen and held it there.
Together they caressed her belly.
”I
think he or she is going to be the…” he adjusted himself so that he could
look into Michaela’s eyes, ”…healthiest and most beautiful baby ever.”
”Thank
you Sully,” Michaela whispered.
Sully
smiled. Michaela always tried to be so strong. She wanted to be sure of what she
was doing, wanted to have control in every situation. It wasn’t too long ago
that she had lost control, lost their baby. Talking about it still didn’t come
easy for either one of them. Michaela needed to be assured that the baby would
be all right, that nothing would happen. So did he now and then. Even though
they knew that she was well past the critical stage, concerning another
miscarriage, they were still worried.
Wanting to make his wife laugh Sully began tickling her ribcage. Michaela
squirmed under his hands, choking with laughter. All of a sudden he stopped
abruptly. ”What's this?” his hand brushed something he had never felt
before.
”What's what?” Michaela asked, trying to regain her
breath, still giggling."
”This,” he grabbed her hand and guided her fingers to the
upper part of her left breast.
”I
don't feel anything that I shouldn't feel,” Michaela said, puzzled. ”What is
it Sully?”
”I…I
felt something. It was…” he tried to describe what he had felt. ”…it was
kind of a… a hardness.”
Michaela
felt her breast more thoroughly and gasped as she felt what Sully must have
felt. At once she turned dead serious. She quickly removed her hand and hastily
told Sully ”Oh, that's nothing, a woman's breasts often get a little hard and
sore during pregnancy. Let's… let's go to sleep now. We wouldn't want to be
late for Colleen and Andrew's train tomorrow, now would we?”
”Are
you sure it's nothing?” he asked.
”Positive,”
she replied and kissed his arm.
Sully
sighed, he was concerned about Michaela. It hadn't felt like her breasts were
”a little hard and sore”. He might have mistaken but if so, why had she
turned so stiff when she felt the spot herself? He wanted to ask her right away
but knew from experience that this was not the time. He'd ask her tomorrow. That
was his last thought as he succumbed to sleep.
Michaela
on the other hand lay awake for hours, listening to her husband's deep and even
breaths. She felt the spot again and again; getting more frightened by the
minute. Sully had been right. There was a hardness. ”I can't believe I haven't
noticed myself!” she thought angrily. It was indeed true that her breasts
would become sore and a bit hard during her pregnancy but not yet, not in
another few months. A sentence she had spoken in the past made itself known.
”It might not be
just a little lump.”
[Index] [Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman] [Current Projects] [Jane's Star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame] [Mailinglists] [Movies/Miniseries]
[My favourite links] [Seymour Quote of the Week] [This is Jane Seymour] [What's New?] [Why did I create this page?]