India Online Journal, November 2001

India Online Journal, November 2001
Author: Jennifer Kumar

All photos and text on this and subsequent pages are property of Jennifer Kumar (unless otherwise quoted). If you would like to link to my site or borrow or use images from my pages, please contact me. More about me here. Thank you.
Day 12

Today not much happened because I had to stay home and study. However, there are a few things I would like to mention about Indian culture.

In India, marriage has many rituals and formalities that have dissolved long ago in our western countries. Firstly, love marriages are not really accepted, so about 95% children have arranged marriages. It is considered the parent's duty to arrange a spouse for their daughters and sons. Daughters and sons expect this, and most do not question it. In the olden days the marriage parties (to-be groom and bride) met on the marriage day itself, but now in modern cities and educated families will find a prospective spouse for their child and the child is able to meet with the to-be before hand to see if they are compatible. So, how do the parents find the prospective spouse? Through family and friends, through marriage brokers, through astrologers (horoscope matching), or more commonly through matrimonial ads on TV or newspapers. The image on this page is paper cuttings from the Hindu newspaper -- matrimonials. Matrimonials include important tid bits about the child and the family. These facts include caste, religion, eating habits (vegetarian or non-vegetarian), any disabilities, age, height, weight, job and earnings, education status and background, where child is currently living, native place, native language, and likes or hobbies. There are other facts which are included, but these are the most important and common.

On to a slightly different topic, in India, they do, of course, practice "Western Medicine," but they also practice more 'traditional' forms of medicine, like homeopathy and ayurvedic. I don't know too much on ayurvedic or homeopathic medicine, but that ayurvedic is Indian and Homeopathy is foreign. As I understand it, both forms have some traditions behind them and also treat patients by the use of naturally occuring ingredients like herbs, flowers, fruits and vegetable extracts.

So, today Aditi and her mother went to visit a homeopathic doctor and they told me about this "medicine" which is extracted from a particular flower stem. The interesting thing is these medicines, which come from UK, also are supplemented with various attributes in physical and/or mental health. For example, this particular pill they showed to me was good for "putting the patient in the right mood to find a bridegroom." They said they believed in this medicine because for seven years they have been trying many things, and only after getting this medicine they found this groom.

The other part of the Indian culture I wanted to comment on is the bond which forms between the families of the groom and bridegroom. This is the first I am experiencing this through someone who is close to me. I find it just amazing, because in American culture I never noticed anything like this and it is something which should not be lost. What I am about to recount, I am sure, is not how it is in all circumstances, but I am sure it happens in a majority of cases.

Matrimonial ads are originally posted each Sunday in the Hindu newspaper, Chennai
Aditi has already formed a 'bond' with her in-laws-- Shankar's sister and mother especially. She is calling them and talking to them. Shankar's family are Kannidagas (native speakers of the Kannada language of Karnataka state), and Aditi was trying her hand at speaking a few lines between giggles. They spoke for about 10 minutes, but I found this so wonderful. I wonder how in US they say family values most of the time. This is family values. It makes me feel really warm inside to know families can immediately feel so close due to marriage, where as in Western coutries (special reference to US) the marriage is more between the individuals getting married.

An American's Thoughts on Arranged Marriage

updated 3-2010

Click here to read an article - "Lonely Hunters" by Rajesh Khanna about the fatal outcome of a Muslim girl who loved a Hindu boy. The article is taken from New Indian Express sometime in January 2000. The image may take some time to download. It is an exerpt from my scrapbook which I kept for my classes.

One Girl�s Seemingly Non-Traditional Path to Finding a Suitable Mate My blog entry years later, with a different perspective.
This page has been visited times since it's inception - Febraury 2002. Updated March 2010.
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