monkee reviews 'Precious Cargo'
First Impressions: A fanfic gone mad! Unfortunately, it's not nearly as appealing as a good fanfic...Not a total loss, though.
Your opinion of this episode will depend mostly on what you thought of the female guest star (Padma Lakshmi, who plays Kaitaama), otherwise known as 'the alien babe of the week.' I thought she was…okay, I guess. She's gorgeous, certainly – but for me, she lacked a certain spark, and her line delivery was stilted. She couldn't keep up with Trinneer. I didn't feel any chemistry there. I would have enjoyed the episode a lot more if he'd been sparring with, say, T'Pol, or Sato, or hell, even Archer or Reed. <g> I doubt we're ever going to see Kaitaama again, and the episode never made me care much about her either way.
A Princess and a guy like me...Connor Trinneer, on the other hand, was a lot of fun to watch, and he brought the episode up a notch. He did a more than serviceable job as Han Solo/Indiana Jones, so it's too bad he didn't have the spunk of Carrie Fisher or Karen Allen to work with. He tosses off those funny little lines in a very natural way. "Is your entire species so ill-mannered?" Kaitaama asks. "Nope. Just me," he says. And I thought Trip handled everything very well. He treated her with far more respect than she deserved at times, but wouldn't let himself get walked all over, either. And he proved, once again, that he can think on his feet – he was wise to get the two of them out of the hostage situation, even in a stolen lifepod with controls labeled in an alien language.
Hot Sex on Dagobah:
::shudder::
Now there are two things you really shouldn't see in the same sentence...
But I digress. Things get steamy when the pair crash lands on a steamy jungle planet. Get it? The planet is steamy, so the love scene must be steamy, too. Only it wasn't, really. It was mostly so incredibly contrived that it made viewers everywhere groan. Groan with disgust, that is. Trip and Kaitaama get into a yelling and shoving match that, naturally, turns into a passionate kiss and implied hot sex. monkee rolls her eyes. Whatever.
monkee also rolled her eyes when Kaitaana tore her long gown to turn it into an ever so much more practical mini-skirt. You almost feel like they should be inserting a card into the episode that says "Look, this is sexy! Check it out! Legs!'
The Aliens of the Week: Fortunately for those of us who were underwhelmed by the 'hot romance,' the B story wasn't half-bad this week. You almost had to feel sorry for the two alien kidnappers, Plinn and Goff, who were initially posing as cargo transporters. I suppose they got their bath, but they never did manage to get a decent meal out of Archer before their plot blew up in their faces. Goff gets away with Kaitaama and Trip, but Plinn has to stay and face the music on Enterprise.
Good Human/Bad Vulcan: Archer and T'Pol do the good cop/bad cop thing with Plinn. Archer explains that the Vulcan High Command has assigned T'Pol to be a 'judicial administrator' on his ship, and even though her punishments are severe, he has to abide by her decisions. When an indifferent, robed T'Pol begins asking Plinn about his people's post-mortem rituals, he decides to cooperate, and help Enterprise locate his partner. Vulcan or no, you have to believe that, deep down inside, T'Pol rather enjoyed watching Archer bow and grovel to her, and call her ma'am! I know I did! Bakula and Blalock did a wonderful job with this scene. My favorite Archer moments have always been the comedic ones.
A Nitpick: In TNG, DS9 and VOY, we could accept the whole concept of the universal translator because we didn't have to look at it too carefully. It was glossed over – it was a leap of faith that wasn't too difficult. Here, in ENT, things are different. They're showing the translation in action, so it's jarring when, all of a sudden, we're hearing English, and seeing alien lips move in English, too. I feel bad mentioning it, since I know there's nothing they can do about it that won't blow their FX budget for a whole year. It's just more noticeable now, and it can be distracting.
Character Interactions: Other than the ones I've mentioned, there wasn't a lot of interacting going on this week. I did enjoy Hoshi's short scene with Trip early on, and the smirk on Reed's face when he, Archer and T'Pol locate the underdressed (Trip is only wearing his Starfleet blues!) pair on the planet is priceless.
'shipper Watch: Other than the Trip/Kaitaama thing, I didn't see anything overt. Some friendly Trip/Sato and Archer/T'Pol, but nothing to get too excited about.
Archer Watch: The ruse with Plinn in the mess hall was inventive. I was also pleased to see those Captain's instincts kicking in yet again. He's wary of Goff right from the start, but giving him the benefit of the doubt. If he hadn't been suspicious enough to try to contact Trip when both aliens left the dinner table, he might have lost him for good.
Best Lines:
"It's not polite to stare, Commander." (Hoshi, to Trip, who is peering at Kaitaama in her stasis tube)
"I am First Monarch of the Sovereign Dynasty of Krios Prime." (Kaitaama, regally, to Trip)
"Oh. Charles Tucker the Third. Pleased to meet ya." (Trip, to Kaitaama)
"Now, lift yer butt." "My WHAT?" (Trip and Kaitaama)
"We started with 83 crewmen aboard. We're down to 76." (Archer, ominously, to Plinn)
"Don't worry. I won't make a pass at you." "The sovereign guard would cut off one of your hands." "Wow, you must be a fun date." (Trip, Kaitaama, Trip)
"Trip? Is this a bad time?" (Archer, to Trip in his underwear)
Continuity: According to the Star Trek Encyclopedia, Krios Prime is the home planet of Kamala, the empathic metamorph that Picard fell in love with in TNG's 'The Perfect Mate.' I'm not quite sure what that means, since if Kaitaama was an empathic metamorph, she never mentioned it. But it's nice to see at least a small attempt at continuity.
Rating: What the hell, I'm feeling magnanimous – I'll go with an 7.5/10, for Trip, and for Archer and T'Pol's fun and clever subterfuge. If they could just have gotten me to care about Kaitaama, it would have been higher.
A Word of Warning from the monkee: I'm concerned about the future of the franchise if this sort of episode becomes the norm, though. I keep reading articles and interviews in which we're told that they're trying to make Star Trek sexier. Sex has always been a part of Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry liberally sprinkled scantily clad alien babes throughout the original series. But it was never the series' raison d'être, nor should it be. I think they'd better be careful. Sexy is fine, if they can manage to do it a little better. But there has to be more if Trek is to survive. We need good stories more often, compellingly told, and they need to have a deeper meaning. I'm just saying...
Next Week: Yikes – another egregious security breach! The crew must go into hiding (?) and Archer considers the self-destruct button for the first time. Sounds like fun!
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