20th Century Extremely Reform Judaism
20th Century Milestones in American Extremely Reform Judaism:
1907 First Extremely Reform Jew in Hollywood changes
name for show-biz reasons
1915 First E.R.J. in New York joins the Mafia
1974 First E.R.J. in a trailer park tells The National
Enquirer that he was abducted by aliens
Extremely Reform Jews ask, "Do I really have to believe in G-d?"
Yes, and for good reason. Without G-d, your donations might
not be tax deductible.
Extremely Reform Charitable Organizations:
The Extremely Reform Boy Scouts of America
(No camping required)
The Extremely Reform Anti-Defamation League
(Deals with very mild ethnic slurs)
The Law of Conservation of Jewish Behavior:
This Extremely
Reform principle, adapted from Newtonian physics, provides
that "for each and every Jewish act, there is an equal and
opposite non-Jewish act." Thus, if you do a small kindness
for someone less fortunate than you, you are permitted to
eat a shrimp cocktail. If you visit a sick person in the hospital,
you may spend the Sabbath at a restricted country club.