Bar Mitzvah Extravagance
The Bar Mitzvah was being held in the Royal Box at the Fountainbleu
Catering Hall in the Bronx. The room was decorated lavishly with
beautiful flowers. The smorgasbord table was overflowing with hot
and cold delicacies to tempt any appetite. Statues of ice, spewing
forth pink punch, were at either end of the long table.
Mr & Mrs Harry Teitlebaum arrive a little late. They surveyed the
situation and were annoyed by the ostentation. They were civil
rights workers and it bothered them to see so much money spent on so
worthless a cause. But their cousin Bruce's Bar Mitzvah was a must
or Mama Teitlebaum would never forgive them.
As they walked to one of the three bars for a drink, the hostess
greeted them warmly and gushed, "Isn't this a beautiful affair?"
And pointing to a small round table topped with a life-sized
sculpture of the Bar Mitzvah boy made of chopped liver, she asked,
"And what do you think of the gorgeous statue of my Bruce?"
This was just too much for Harry Teitlebaum. In a voice dripping
with sarcasm, he snarled, "Why, I've never seen anything to equal
it. Who did it? Lipschitz or Epstein?"
"Lipschitz, of course, darling!" boasted the proud mama, "Epstein
works only in halvah!"