Children of Noah



Roosevelt and Deelya were astonished when Noah selected them to be the ants to represent their species in the ark. After all, they were considered inferior by the other ants in the anthill because of their large odor sensors. In humility they bowed before Noah and said "We is honored to join you in this here boat" although they weren't really sure what a boat was. In fact, just that same day they had heard a couple of termites joking about "Noah's Folly", saying the wood wasn't any good for chewing.

Roosevelt and Deelya were glad they were small, because Noah was really packing the animals in, and things were getting crowded. Just when it seemed there was absolutely no room for anything else, water began to fall from the sky and Noah shut the doors. Soon the ark began to rock, and it floated off into the growing storm, with all hands (several thousand, including itty-bitty flea feet) accounted for.

It was the middle of the night when the ark struck the side of Mt. Ararat (originally called Mt. Watchoutforthat). The sudden jolt and list to starboard woke the animals abruptly from their slumber. In the ensuing melee, Padre Porcupine accidently stuck Signor Skunk in the buttocks, causing the poor skunk to emit a full charge of "eau de pew" into the chaos.

Noah had his hands full trying to secure the ark and get everybody quieted down. Some accounts, particularly from the giraffes, had God appearing with a clothespin on his nose, which uniquely altered his stentorian voice. But most likely God answered Noah's frantic prayer by giving him a spontaneous clear insight.

In any event, Noah located Roosevelt and Deelya hiding in a coil of rope and said, "Friends, I need your help. I have all I can handle securing this arc and calming the bigger animals. God has told me that you have a special gift for getting rid of this skunk stink. Will you help me?"

Deelya looked at Roosevelt. "What gift be dat?" she asked. "Only things different 'bout us be dese puffy noses, and child, they is getting a workout right about now."

But Roosevelt, although unaccustomed to considering a higher calling, decided "If the Good Lord says it, it must be true." So he and Deelya went all around the ark, sniffing up the skunk stink with all the gusto they and their large odor sensors could manage. Before too long came the golden dawn of a new world.

Noah had life's major constraints in place, and had called all the animals to a meeting outside the ark. The agenda centered mainly on God's providence and the necessity to begin repopulating the earth.

Roosevelt and Deelya had sucked up all the stink and were a little bloated, but they responded to the call for them to come forward. Noah honored them in front of the assembly for their free use of their special gifts and the likelihood of a future anthill full of special noses.

As they returned to their place, Roosevelt realized out loud "Y'know, we be de de-scent ants of Noah!"



Back to "Books for Jewish Children"

Back to Lori's Mishmash Jewish Humor Page

Back to Lori's Mishmash Humor Page





















[an error occurred while processing this directive]