Haikus for Jews


from Haikus for Jews by David Bader



Jewish triathlon --
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.


The frost-withered fields
flecked with white chrysanthemums --
Bubbeleh, your scarf.


Shatner and Nimoy
observing Shabbos -- "Scotty,
beam up a minyan."


Shedding its wet skin,
the spritzing seltzer bubble
becomes a Buddha.


SJF seeking
eternal soul mate -- must be
a professional.


Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture at
my dinner table.


Lonely mantra of
the Buddhist monk -- "They never
call, they never write."


Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.


In the ice sculpture
reflected bar mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver.


The sparkling blue sea
beckons me to wait one hour
after my sandwich.


Cherry blossoms bloom.
Sure, it's beautiful, but is
it good for the Jews?


Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?


Monarch butterfly,
I know your name used to be
Caterpillarstein.


Five thousand years a
wandering people -- then we
found the cabanas.



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