You might be a Jewish Redneck if ...
- Your favorite foods are Gefilte Fish and Grits.
- You think Dolly Parton should have had the lead role in Yentl.
- You can't decide what to do when Yom Kippur and the first day
of hunting season fall on the same day.
- You keep writing to the Grand Ol' Opry for Fiddler On The Roof
tickets.
- When the Rabbi announces that a pick-up truck is blocking the
driveway, everyone looks towards you.
- You wear Cowboy Boots to your son's Bar Mitzvah.
- You do all your Chanukah shopping at yard sales and flea markets.
- Despite traditional Jewish emphasis on higher education, you never
pursued your G.E.D.
- You want to move your work to another station in life - from
Shell to Exxon.
- For safekeeping you leave your NRA Membership Card in your
tallis bag.
- You look for "Thank G-d I'm A Country Boy" in your synagogue
prayer book.
- Your favorite Passover snack is Spam on matzah.
- You think a mitzvoh is a Japanese car.
- You can't believe the K-Mart 'BlueLight' Specials you got your
daughter for her Bat Mitzvah.
- You're still looking for "Hava Nagila" by Elvis.
- You're disappointed when your son tells you he wants to be a
doctor or a lawyer and not a NASCAR driver.
- Your Chanukah decorations include a Star Of David hanging from a
plastic Pink Flamingo.
- You feed your Hound Dogs corned beef scraps.(mw)
- You have a Menorah tatooed on your chest.
- Your favorite fast food is a BLT- Bacon, Lox, and Tomato sandwich.
- You have a SkullCAP And Crossbones insignia on your motorcycle
jacket.
- You break Yom Kippur fast at your favorite truck stop.
- You invite the Rabbi to give the invocation at the next Mudhop.
- You joined a "Conservative" congregation because you like Jerry
Falwell.
- You ask your synagogue's Cultural Appreciation Committe to
organize a bus trip to West Virginia.
- Your Hebrew vocabulary consists of all the curse worlds used by
Israeli sailors.
- You think your synagogue services should conclude with Hatikva and
Dixie.
- You're offended when asked to check your gun at the synagogue
office before entering the sanctuary.