Hanukkah Memo
MEMO:
TO: His Holiness
From: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community
SUBJECT: Channukah
We have received a request from the Jewish Community and the Israeli
Embassy that we light a Channukah candle on the first night of Channukah.
Sounds like a good idea - we could get CNN to cover. It’s near Christmas
and we could find spare candles. What do you think?
MEMO:
FROM: His Holiness
TO: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community
cc: Maintenance and Storage
A great idea. I remember those Jewish potato pancakes that the Children of
Abraham used to prepare in Poland when I was a kid. Make sure that that’s
part of the deal. What about the candelabra? I know they use a special one
- I think we may have one. Ask Maintenance to look in the cellars. If they
don’t know what you’re talking about - tell them it looks exactly like the
one on the Arch of Titus down the street.
MEMO:
TO: His Holiness
From: Maintenance
SUBJECT: Candelabra
We looked in the cellars. We have a big one - very, very dusty - behind a
whole pile of incense pans, marked "Gifts from Aeolia Capitolina State
visit 70AD". How many lights do you need? There are seven branches to this
candelabra. We also found an ancient set of jars of oil with an OU marking
in Greek, but one was missing - must have been dropped somewhere.
MEMO:
FROM: His Holiness
TO: Maintenance and Storage
cc: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community
Got your Memo. The one we have won’t do -- we need the newer model with
eight candles. I think Chabad dropped one off at the gate last week with
the Swiss guards. If not, ask the ADL if we can borrow one. Shut up about
what we have in the cellar. Remember to check on the potato pancakes.