Top Ten Reason For Not Attending Services on Shabbat
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I heard this Torah reading last year
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I was deeply offended by the Rabbi's racist comments about the Amalekite people
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I live in North Brunei
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"I am embarrassed by my name when called up to the Torah" - Heard from Boutros Boutros Ghalli
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My last hagbahah (lifting of the Torah) was disqualified by the Rabbi after my blood test came back with traces of anabolic steroids
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Nobody sang with me at Kiddush when I started a round of "Ten Thousand Bottles of Kedem Sitting on the Western Wall"
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The Rabbi is my father-in-law
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The Rebbitzin is my mother-in-law
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My stock broker is now attending services in a Federal Penitentiary
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I am a Gentile (Jewishly challenged - to be politically correct)