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FREDDY the
PIED PIPER


DJ courtesy of R. Novak 1st edition cover



Oh no! What will Quik & Eeny say!!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all
through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

DO YOU KNOW WHY?

Because FREDDY, the POPULAR DE-
MOUSER
had been called in the day before.

LET US TAKE THE SQUEAKS
OUT OF YOUR PANTRY.

You Can Have a Mouseless House, Too
Only $5.

"Some people think pigs should feel pain
Because they're so awfully plain,
But they don't, and the reason
Is easy to seize on:
Being handsome's a terrible strain.

If you're handsome, you're always ob-
sessed
With a doubt you're not looking your
best,
And then you get worried
And hurried and flurried
And spill things all over your vest.

Whereas, if you're homely as sin,
You just have to bear it and grin,
For no perseverance
Will improve your appearance;
You're beaten before you begin.

It is no use to sit and squall
If you can't be the belle of the ball;
If you're cross-eyed and fat
You just say: 'That's that!'
And you don't have to worry at all.

Now the pig, as I previously said,
About looks never worries his head.
The pig has no passion
For being in fashion
And painting his fingernails red.

And that is why pigs are so gay,
Always laughing and shouting Hooray!
Their looks they ignore;
They don't care any more;
And they sing and rejoice all the day."

Published in 1946.

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