Is this what you need? Kayla From: Katrinka Title: Learning To Trust: A Story in the Vaartuslik Series Author: Katrinka (katrinka@flash.net) Archive: master_apprentice, OKEB and my homepage only. Anyone else, just ask. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: This story is A/U, which means the Vaartuslik series tramples all over cannon. Category: A/U, Angst, NC-17 for lots of sex Summary: Obi-Wan's trouble sleeping leads to new discoveries. Feedback: Mesa begs for feedback! Authors note: I only plan for three more stories in the Vaartuslik series (not including this one!) Thanks to: Marnee for Beta'ing this! More thanks to: Plot Readers: Saraid, Thia, and Steph, who tore apart this story and helped make it better! Part One Obi-Wan lay beside his Master. He tried to keep his mind on other things. Tried to tell his penis that there were other things for him to think of, besides the well-muscled body, the thought of making love to that body. The way that Qui-Gon would arch back before he came. The way his Master would hold him afterwards. The whispers of his lover's breath on his forehead. file://Stop it!// he told himself. file://You're going to come all over the sheets!// Friends, they were just friends. That meant that Obi-Wan had to stay on his side of the bed. He had to quit lusting after his Master. The past was just that, the past. Their relationship as lovers was over. His job was to learn to accept the truth. He was tired of cold showers. He had taken so many that Qui-Gon called him a fish. It was either a shower or he would walk around with a permanent hard-on. That was the problem -- they needed some time with no missions. Qui-Gon had promised Obi- Wan a holiday, after they went to Coruscant, as they both needed a vacation. The only problem was that Obi-Wan had to face Mace Windu. Qui-Gon rolled over against his Padawan. His cock was large, pressing into Obi-Wan's side, and he gasped as the hardness rubbed against him. Then the Master put his arm around Obi-Wan, pulling him close. He could smell Qui-Gon's musk, faint, earthy. The way that older man smelled only when aroused. file://Sleeping, Master's sleeping. He doesn't really want this,// Obi-Wan reminded himself as Qui- Gon began to nuzzle his neck, giving Obi-Wan small love bites. file://It will leave a mark.// "Obi-Wan, I've missed you...," the older man said in his sleep, long fingers running over Obi-Wan's body, stroking, caressing. Qui-Gon's fingers began to manipulate the younger man's penis with an expertise that made him gasp. Obi-Wan felt his control leave him. He wanted, needed Qui-Gon's touch. Obi-Wan brought his hand to the back of Qui-Gon's head; the hair was even more silky than he remembered. "I'm here, Master." "Love you." His Master began to rub himself slowly against Obi-Wan. The younger man felt a shudder go through him. He opened his mind to Qui-Gon; The Master was dreaming of seducing his Padawan. file://If only you would. but I shouldn't...,// he tried to reason as he saw his Master's dream. It excited Obi-Wan, and he realized that he would have to give in to the fantasy. file://He won't remember...,// he tried to reassure himself. He turned towards Qui-Gon. The arms around him tightened and Qui-Gon pushed him onto his back, following him until they were face to face. Slowly, very slowly, the older man started moving. Hair spilled onto Obi-Wan's face. file://Yes!// He put his arms around Qui-Gon's waist and began to thrust in time. file://I love you, Master.// He closed his eyes, giving in to the feeling. It was easy for Obi-Wan to imagine that his Master wasn't dreaming, that the man had forgiven him enough to want him again. His Master's arms tightened, until Obi-Wan started believing that he would be crushed in half. He realized for the first time that his Master had been holding back when they made love. The man's raw passion excited him. The feeling of his cock against the hair on Qui-Gon's groin was exquisite. The rubbing grew harder, each thrust giving Obi-Wan a wave of ecstasy. His fingers grasped at his Master's ass, pushing him harder against him, then raked at his Master's back. Pushing him closer, urging him on, Obi-Wan couldn't hold back. He came, soon followed by his Master. He could feel his Master's teeth sink into his shoulder and he cried out in pain. His still-sleeping Master rolled back over and was still. It hurt, damn it, the bite hurt! How could his Master bite him? file://I'm bleeding!// Obi-Wan got out of bed and went to the observation window. He could feel the blood rolling down his back. It had happened, it had really happened. He had given into his Master's dream. What was worse, he had enjoyed it. Guilt overwhelmed him. file://You are never to take advantage of other's dreams,// he could remember Qui-Gon teaching him. file://How could I do that? How could I force myself on my Master? He was only dreaming!// He looked down at his trembling hands. file://I love him. How could I do this?// ********************* Qui-Gon woke. He was lying in bed, his sheets sticky. file://Force, how long has it been since I had a wet dream?// He could remember his dream. Obi-Wan had finally forgiven him and they had made love. He had felt comfortable in giving himself fully to Obi-Wan; it was the first time that they had trusted each othercompletely. The dream felt so real, not just fantasy. There was a blotch on his pillow. He put his finger in it. Wet, it was wet. He looked at his finger, which was dark red. Blood. file://Obi-Wan!// He wondered suddenly where Obi-Wan was. He opened his mind a bit and felt despair from his apprentice. Qui-Gon rose, and could see Obi-wan staring out the observation window, his shoulders shaking. As Qui-Gon got closer, he realized that blood was trickling down Obi-Wan's back. The dream. in his dream he had bit Obi-Wan. Reality sank in. He had forced himself on his Padawan. file://He trusted me, and I did this to him! I'm just like Hayata!// "Obi-Wan.." The younger man almost jumped through the window. In a quavering voice, he asked, "How was your sleep, Master?" "Troubling." Obi-Wan reached up, and wiped his eyes. "Mine wasn't good either." file://I'm a danger to him,// Qui-Gon realized. "I've been thinking," he finally said aloud. "Master, please don't send me back to Windu." "You know he's requested you back. It's his right, he never formally released you from his custody," Qui-Gon said softly. "You know the Code." "Yes, Master." Obi-Wan began to sob, holding onto the ledge for support. Qui-Gon moved closer to his Padawan. Close, but not touching. The apprentice threw his arms around him, and buried his head in his Master's chest. "I'm sorry, Master, I'm so sorry." "You just wanted to get back to me." Qui-Gon stroked the younger man's hair. "Windu is an old friend. I can probably talk him out of his anger." "But what about us? I destroyed our relationship!" "How did you?" "It's been so long since we made love. I needed your touch. I knew you were dreaming when you told me you missed me, but I took advantage of it anyway." Obi-Wan pulled away from Qui-Gon and turned his back to him. "I let you make love to me, and I enjoyed it! I am as bad as Hayata!" file://He blames himself. We are so much alike. I wonder what he was like before he stopped trusting.// Qui-Gon reached out, and put his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "What Hayata did, he did for power." "I raped you! I *am* evil!" Obi-Wan sobbed. "If you knew what I did, you wouldn't be able to forgive me." "Share your mind with me. Tell me what happened." He reached out, touching Obi-Wan's shoulder. He moved his f ingers across the uninjured shoulder, caressing. "I can't." Qui-Gon could feel his Padawan's fear of being discovered. "I won't force you, but I hope you trust me with your memories." "Yes, Master." Obi-Wan took his Master's hand and put it on his head. Qui-Gon could feel the hesitation in his Padawan. "You don't have to let me into your mind." He stroked the short hair. "We have a Vaar, you're part of my soul." Obi-Wan opened his mind to Qui-Gon. ***