Pretending A Xiaodan story by Catherine Kendall It's so easy, but I can't do it. So risky--but I've got to chance it It's so funny, there's nothing to laugh about... I can see what you want me to be, But I'm no fool. No beginning, there's no ending, There's no meaning in my pretending, Believe me, life goes on and on, Forgive me, when I ask you where do I belong? You say I can't set you free from me, But that's not true. It's in the lap of the gods. 'Lap Of The Gods... Revisited' by Freddie Mercury He was the only unadapted person in the room, and that gave him the creeps. His mother's people believed mutoids had no souls, and he was inclined to believe that. He knew they where almost impossible to read telepathically. It was almost like trying to read a computer; worse really, a computer hadn't been alive once. He was called Seato Thoex of the K'nodin tribe of the peoples of the Namur, but for the past few years he had been known as Captain Zaki Seato, loyal member of the Federation space services. But appearances could be deceiving, and Seato's was very deceiving: he appeared human to everyone, even down to his red hair and freckles. No one in Space Command would ever believe that he was a hybrid, with an Auron father, and a half-Namur mother. He hoped that no one would ever discover his secret. Seato's sharp hearing picked up Supreme Commander Jaroslav Travis' footsteps as he entered the room. He was always sneaking up on his underlings, seeing if they where really working. "Good morning, Captain Seato." "Good morning, Supreme Commander." "How is it going this morning?" "Very quiet. Almost too quiet." "Really?" Jaroslav Travis said with a smile. "Remember we're on a neutral planet. It would be unusual if something was happening." "Of course, sir." "I would like you to see if we can pick up signals from two homing devices." "Of course sir. Do you know the frequency?" "E4635242 and C457362544." Seato keyed in the frequencies and a couple of blips appeared on his computer screen. "I have them now, sir." "Well, where are they?" Jaroslav Travis asked impatiently. "You won't believe this, sir, but both signals are here, on this planet." "Are they together?" "They're separated, but both are in the tourist district." "Can you pinpoint the location?" "Yes sir." A flimsy rolled out of the computer, and Jaroslav Travis snatched it away. "If everything works out right, we will have Kerr Avon and Vila Restal as our prisoners. I would like you to help with their interrogation." "As you wish, sir." Jaroslav Travis walked away, and Seato pretended to be working. Instead he opened his mind to his resistance contact. //Paatrov, can you hear me?// //Yes, I hear you. You sound really clear??// //That's because we're on the same planet. Jaroslav Travis is here, he's coming after you.// //What do you want us to do?// //Watch your back.// //Don't worry, we will. Jaroslav Travis won't get us,// Paatrov reassured him. But a nagging suspicion in the back of Seato's mind made him doubt that.    Everyone was able to go on shore leave, everyone but Kerria Avon that is. She sat on the flight deck of the Goldhawk, on watch. The only view of the pleasure planet she saw was on the view screen. Bulsara, even the name sounded exotic to her. She had worked hard, studied, and where did that get her? Babysitting her cousin Biahana, when everyone else was able to go off and have fun. "I hate this planet," Tahdzee Neith said as soon as he teleported onto the Goldhawk. "I thought you were going on shore leave," Kerria Avon said, looking up from the homework she was doing. "I was. The restaurant that we went to kicked me out." "Why?" "The owner said I was underaged. They have some law that Namurs have to be over eighty to go to a place that serves liquor. Those people are so stupid. Hasn't anyone told them that Namurs can't get drunk on liquor?" He sat down beside her. "What are you drinking?" "Pineapple juice. Want some?" Tahdzee poured himself a glass and tasted a sip. The sugars broke down quickly, making a pleasant tingling sensation on his tongue. "This stuff is great. Do you know how drunk I could get on it? Where did you get it?" "In the storage holds. Tarrant's got tons of it." "But it's real." "He said he wanted his daughter to have real juice." "So this is for Biahana." "I don't think he'll miss a few glasses." "You stole it?" he asked, incredulous. "Of course I stole it." "But you don't know how to pick locks." "Vila's been teaching me. It's quite easy. He says I have a natural talent. Besides, I didn't have to break into anything to get the juice. I've been baby sitting Bia, remember?" "Yes, how's she doing?" "I finally got her to sleep a few minutes ago." She turned off her reader. "I wish I could have gone planetside." "It's not that great. You've seen one pleasure planet, you've seen them all." "But I've never been to a pleasure planet." "It's not as exciting as it looks. Those people have to make you happy. They don't get the choice. They're slaves." "This isn't Magnus," she reminded him. Poor child, so idealistic. He smiled at her. "You're right of course."    "How can one man get so stinking drunk?" Tarrant demanded as he was helping to take Paatrov back to the Goldhawk. Dayna was walking with them. "Oh, my stomach," Paatrov groaned. "I feel like I swallowed a tribble." "That's what you get for drinking too much," Avon told him viciously. "Why is the street spinning?" "Because you're dead drunk," Tarrant said through clenched teeth. "Dayna, you're my friend. Tell them to be nice to me." "They are being nice to you," Dayna told him gently. "You're all a bunch of sadists." He groaned again. "Kerr, I think I'm going to be sick." They hauled Paatrov into a nearby ally, where he sank down on his knees and began to vomit. A mutoid jumped off the balcony between Tarrant and Dayna. Dayna went for her gun. "Hold it right there," a silky voice said. "Drop your guns." Dayna suddenly realized that they were surrounded by mutoids. "Drop them or we kill Paatrov." Both Avon and Tarrant threw down their guns. "You too, Mellanby. " Dayna put her gun down. "Put your hands over your heads." Dayna did. "Make sure they're unarmed." The mutoids patted them down and took a couple of concealed weapons from Dayna. "You are the Prisoners of the Terran Empire," Jaroslav Travis said, pushing past a mutoid. "Oh great. I expect we're going to have an audience with the empress herself," Tarrant said sarcastically. Jaroslav Travis nodded to a mutoid, who shot them. The Goldhawk crew fell to the ground with a sickening thud. "Should we stun the ill one, Supreme Commander?" a mutoid asked. "No, leave him. He is simply a burnt-out resister. He isn't even worth the plasma we would get from him. Bring the rest." "Yes sir." A pair of mutoids grabbed the prisoners, and started to drag them to the transport.    "Kerria, you are the most beautiful girl in the galaxy," Tahdzee told her. He had drunk five glasses of fruit juice, and he was feeling slightly drunk. "Thank you." "I mean it. You are so very pretty." "You're not so bad yourself." He put his arm around her, and stroked her cheek. "I have liked you for a very long time, but I am no good for you. I only seem nice. If you knew what I was really like, the things I use to do on Magnus, you would have nothing to do with me." "So you're that bad, are you?" "No, I am worse. I am a codebreaker of the worst kind. I was a hooker, a prostitute." "You're feeling guilty about Magnus again," she said sympathetically. "How do you know about that?" "Because every time you get drunk, you start to feel guilty and confess everything to me." "And you're still my friend after all you've heard?" he asked, amazed. "I would think you would hate me." "I could never hate you," she said. She kissed him, very gently. Then she pulled away from him. "Friends?" "Oh, yes, very good friends," he said, rubbing her arm. "Why do you wear these?" Kerria asked, touching the row of beads he wore on a small braid apart from the rest of his hair. "Oh, these. I earned them. Every bead is given as a reward, from my commander." "Why didn't you wear any before you joined the Goldhawk crew?" "Because my commander didn't award me any." "Father didn't, but you did so well." "I suppose he decided that I didn't deserve them." "What about the ones you had from before your slave days?" "They were taken from me before I was sold. You can only wear the original ones, so I must start over. Tarrant understands, he has given me all of these. I am very grateful to him." "I like them. They make you look so rugged." "They do?" "Yes, they do." They kissed again. Tahdzee pulled her close to him. As they kissed, Tahdzee grew more excited. He unfastened Kerria's blouse, and slipped it off of her. "I see you're enjoying your shore leave," Mitra said harshly. Tahdzee pulled away from Kerria. He had been caught by the one person that he knew would judge him. He knew that she would gleefully deal out a punishment for him for disgracing her niece-in-law's honor. He bent down and picked up Kerria's shirt, and handed it to her. He looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry." "Did they take Paatrov to his room or the sick bay?" Cally asked. "What do you mean?" Tahdzee asked. "Were you too busy breaking the code to notice?" Mitra demanded. "I would have heard someone if they had come aboard." "Where is he?" "I don't think they came back." "Bodan, run a scan and tell me where Kerr Avon is," Cally said. *Sure thing,* the flight computer said. "He isn't on the Goldhawk." "Are you sure?" *Of course I'm sure.* "What about Tarrant, Paatrov and Dayna?" *What about them?* "Are they on the ship?" *They went on shore leave, remember?" "Of course I remember. I went with them." "I wonder where they went?" Mitra asked. *I don't know,* Bodan said. Cally went over and tried the communicator. There was no answer. Then she worked the teleport. Paatrov materialized in the teleport chamber. He was curled against the wall. Kerria, who had now put her shirt on, gasped. "My gods, what happened to him?" She went over to her father, and touched him on the shoulder. He turned over. His lips where blue. "Father, Father, can you hear me?" Paatrov coughed then looked up to his daughter. "Kerria, is that you?" "Yes Father." "Jaroslav Travis has Kerr, Tarrant and Dayna . We have to get them back." He tried to sit up, but Kerria pushed him back to the floor. "You're not well." "Tahdzee, get a stretcher," Mitra told Kerria. She touched the communicator. "Vila, come in." "What is it, Mitra?" Vila asked. "There's a problem. You're going to have to return to the Goldhawk." "What's wrong?" "Jaroslav Travis has Avon, Tarrant and Dayna." "Can you teleport me back?" Vila asked. Cally worked the teleport. Vila noticed Paatrov. "What happened to him?" "We're not sure. " Taking out a pocket flashlight, Mitra opened one of Paatrov's eyes, then the other. Then she quickly took his pulse. "If I didn't know better, I would say he's been poisoned." "Who would do that?" Vila asked. "Jaroslav Travis, if he had good enough reason to." Mitra touched Paatrov on the forehead. "What did you have to drink tonight?" "A couple of pints of ale," Paatrov said. He looked up to Vila. "Sasha, is that you?" "Yes, Paate, it's Sasha," Vila said, using a name he hadn't called himself in years. "Jaroslav Travis got you too?" "No, you're on the Goldhawk." "Safe, then?" "Yes, you're safe now." "My brother, my baby brother," he said as he passed out. "He's dying isn't he?" Vila asked Mitra. "I won't know until I get him down to medical." Kerria came onto the flight deck pushing a stretcher. She handed a syringe to Mitra, who pressed it against Tahdzee's neck and pushed the trigger. "What did you give him?" Cally asked. "Just something to sober him up," Mitra told her. "Vila, help me get Paatrov on the stretcher." Vila did. "Kerria, I'm going to need your help in medical." "Yes, ma'am," she said. Vila started to follow them out, but Mitra stopped him. "You are needed up here." "But Paatrov..." "You're Tarrant's first officer. You're going to have to stay here and be in charge." "Call me if anything happens?" he asked her. "I will," she promised. Mitra and Kerria pushed the stretcher off the flightdeck. Vila sat down in the command chair. "Tahdzee, are you fit enough to pilot?" "Yes sir, I am, " he said, rubbing his eyes. "Let's get this hunk of bolts off the ground," Vila ordered. "Yes sir." Tahdzee sat down at the pilot's console and started to program a course out of the dock. "Jaroslav Travis has Avon," Cally reminded Vila. "We must go get him." "Any time now, the Federation is going to show up. We have a much better chance of fighting them if we're up in the air. Right now, we're an open target." "Can I help?" Cally asked. "You've had some flight training, do you think you can copilot?" "Yes, I think I can," she said, sitting down in the copilot's chair. "Bodan, give me manual control," Tahdzee ordered. *Are you sure you want it?* the flight computer asked. *I can help.* "It will be easier if I get it up on manual. You can help pilot after we get it up." *Oh, all right.* The computer sounded disappointed. Vila smiled to himself. Was it possible for a computer to be disappointed? As soon as they obtained orbit, Vila ordered Tahdzee to set a course to Xiaodan. "We cannot leave. Not like this," Cally said. "We're going," Vila told her. "How can you betray Avon like this? He's your brother." "I'm not betraying him." "We are returning to Xiaodan," Cally interrupted. "No, we're not." "Vila, you've lost your reasoning. Why don't you let me take over?" she suggested. "Tarrant put me in charge." "Tarrant never put you in charge." "Then why did he make me his first officer?" Vila asked her. "Now that he's gone, I'm the captain." "And you think we will follow you?" Cally asked coldly. "It's what he wanted." "This is ridiculous. You've never commanded a space ship before." "And you have?" "That is not the point. You are only a Delta. I'm sorry, but it is the truth. There is something about your makeup that made the Federation downgrade you." "The Federation says a lot of things. I wouldn't think you of all people would believe them. My twin brother is a double Alpha." "You are not identical twins," she pointed out. "What difference does that make? If I wasn't half way intelligent, how would I get a masters in security design? A masters from an Alpha university?" he pointed out. "I don't believe this," Cally said. "Don't believe me then. I knew you wouldn't. You say you're my friend, but really, I'm a slave in your eyes. At least to Tarrant, I am free. But when it comes down to it, I'm simply a menial to you. And this menial is getting fed up with being pushed around. So get off my flight deck before I do something we both regret." "You are not seeing reason," she said. "Bodan, set a course to orbit the pleasure planet." "Belay that order," Vila said. "Tahdzee, help me to set the course," Cally said. "We will do as Vila says," Tahdzee said. "But he's deserting everyone." "Vila is my captain, I owe him my loyalty." "Even though he's wrong." "He is not wrong. I think I know what he's doing and it's a good idea." "What is he doing?" "The Federation is tracking the Goldhawk yes?" he asked. Cally nodded. "If they think we are gone, they'll stop tracking us. Then we can return with the ship cloaked and rescue them." "What if they call for teleport?" Cally asked. "While they're in Federation custody?" Vila asked. "Cally this is the only way. If we let them know we are still here, they could throw some of their seeker bombs at us, and you know what kind of damage they could do to this ship." "So we will get them out?" "If I have anything to say about it," Vila promised. "But I want everything to be to our advantage." "Put that way, I agree with your plans," Cally said.    "Bring the prisoner in here," Jaroslav ordered. The mutoids did as they were told, pushing a med cot into the interrogation unit. "Be careful with him. The Empress has plans for him." Seato looked up from his work. The person that he had brought in was tall and slender, dressed in black. Seato couldn't see the man's face, since his hair was so long that it covered it. "Mutoids dismissed," Jaroslav said . "This interrogation will be carried out by Captain Seato and myself." The mutoids left. "Come here and help me," Jaroslav ordered. "Yes sir." Seato went over to the cot. "I've got him. I've finally got Tarrant," Jaroslav said, pleased. He brushed Tarrant's hair off his face. "Congratulations, sir." "We are ordered to get all information out of him, no matter what method is used. He is then to be taken to a modification center." "So he's going to be adapted." "No, he will have some appliances installed in his brain, then he will be conditioned to be the loyal servant of the Federation." He paused. "What is troubling you?" "How can we be certain that a resister such as Tarrant can be conditioned into complete loyalty?" he asked hesitantly. "The limiters that will be installed in his brain will short circuit any such impulses," Jaroslav told him. "Apply sensors to the prisoner." "Yes sir," Seato said. He applied sensors from the interrogation machine to Tarrant's face. He took the time to scan Jaroslav Travis' mind, and discovered that there were two other members of the Goldhawk crew prisoner, Avon and Dayna. Jaroslav Travis filled a syringe. He put it against Tarrant's neck and pushed the trigger, then touched a button on the machine. Tarrant groaned. "I want you to watch his vital signs. If there's any deviation, tell me." Seato illo "Yes, sir." Seato paused. "His signs aren't normal. He only has a pulse of twenty four." "Tarrant is a half breed, remember?" "Of course sir, that would account for it." "Wake up, Tarrant, " Jaroslav Travis said. Tarrant's eyes flickered open. "Jaroslav Travis." "It's been a long time. But you've finally fallen into my hands," he gloated. Seato felt a sudden urge from Tarrant to punch Jaroslav Travis. His eyes focused on Seato, "Where's Dayna?" "She's safe for now." "What about Avon, and Paatrov?" "Avon is probably dying of boredom in a cell. Paatrov is dead." "You killed him," Tarrant accused. "The person that fed him the poison killed him. I merely gave the order. You should forget about him, and worry about your girlfriend." "What about Dayna?" "She's very pretty, Tarrant, more pretty than I remembered. Though to be fair, she has gotten better since she has become a prostitute. Don't you think?" "You raped her." "She was of some service to me the last time I had her in custody. There are no laws forbidding the use of a slave to fulfill certain needs." "Why are you telling me this?" "Because if you don't cooperate, she could be some use to me again. This time for the rest of her life." "She'll never let you." "She won't have the choice. If she doesn't let me, a puppeteer will have her serving me willingly and enjoying it." "What about Avon?" "What about him? I got everything I need from him. He will be drained for plasma." He leaned towards Tarrant. "You are here to answer questions." "What do I get if I answer your questions?" "I will release the whore." "You're not offering me my life?" Tarrant asked. "Your life isn't mine to give. The Empress Servalan has plans for you." "Oh no, I'm not going to work at space command." "You're getting ahead of yourself," Jaroslav Travis told him. "Servalan has plans for you to be the Emperor of Teal." "Teal is a matriarchy." "That can be changed. You are in line for the Teal throne. Your step mother is Empress. We will invade the system, and have Shikayko executed. You will then be installed as the Emperor." "I will not help you," Tarrant vowed. "Especially after you've executed my family." "You won't get a choice. You will be conditioned into loyalty to the Earth Empire." "You're insane." "Probably, most probably." Jaroslav Travis smiled. He touched a switch and a strobe came on above Tarrant's head. "You will tell me everything I want to know. One way or the other."    Seato sat on his bed in the dark, hands relaxed on his knees, head bent towards his hands. He had his eyes shut. He had already tried Paatrov, but had gotten no response. The only other person whose mind he had touched on the Goldhawk had been his sister Mitra. She had disenfranchised him, but she was his only hope. Yes, there was a telepath on the ship. But she was Auron, and he knew from experience what Aurons thought of hybrids. He knew the message would be ignored. He pictured Mitra in his mind's eye. She was in the med- center of the Goldhawk, taking care of Paatrov. There were other people in the room. The telepath and Vila. He couldn't wait for them to leave. The information was too important. He could see her, every part of her. She was wearing the olive green uniform of the United Resistance medical corps. He concentrated on her until he could hear the conversation that was going on in the room. "Are you sure he's going to be all right?" Vila asked. "He's going to be fine," Mitra said, trying to reassure him. "I thought you said he was poisoned," the telepath said. "I was wrong, he was given a very large dose of a sedative; he'll be fine in a few hours. After he sleeps it off." Mitra turned back to the instruments. Seato took that time to speak. //Mitra, it is I, your ex-brother Seato Thoex.// Mitra ignored him. //It's very important that you answer. Please Mitra, answer.// She stopped what she was doing, her hand poised over a button. //What do you want from me?// //Jaroslav Travis has your captain.// //We are planning on getting them out.// //You won't be able to. The place is crawling with mutoids. They are to be transferred to a mutoid adaptation center tomorrow. It is only ten light years away. It will be much easier for you to rescue them on the way.// //Why should I believe you?// //Have I ever lied to you?// //No, you never have. Tell me before the shuttle takes off, and I'll make sure we intercept it. That is if they are still alive.// //I give you my promise that they will still be alive. This I promise on the code of the tribes of the Namur.// Mitra felt herself shaken. "Mitra, snap out of it," a very concerned Vila told her. She blinked and looked around. She was still in the med-center. "Are you all right? "I'm fine." "You received a telepathic communication," Cally said. "Did you hear it?" Mitra asked her. "Yes, I did. But the man was speaking in Namur. Who was he?" "He's my ex-brother Seato." "What do you mean by your ex-brother?" "I disowned him when he joined the Federation." "How could a Namur join the Federation? The Namur are an enemy race." "He's part human. So he doesn't look Namur. It was Blake's idea. He wanted a spy in the Federations communications network. Seato volunteered." "Seato. You mean Jaroslav Travis' aid?" Cally asked, horrified. "Yes, he is Jaroslav Travis' aide," Mitra said. "Do not hate me for this. I went through the death ceremony when he became one of them. He is no longer Namur, no longer my brother." "Do you think his information would be good?" Vila asked. "You did say he turned traitor." "He is telling the truth," Mitra said firmly. "How can you be sure? I know he is telepathic, and there is a belief that telepaths can't lie." Cally paused. "It is simply a fable. Telepaths can lie." "I know that," Mitra told her. "I can also tell when he is lying. He has never been able to lie to me. His information must be true." "What did he say?" Vila asked. "Tomorrow the prisoners are to be taken to a mutoid adaptation center. It is ten light years away. He believes it would be far easier to rescue them if we wait until then." "How do we know which transport they will be on?" Cally asked. "He will tell us." "It could be a ruse; this might be a Federation trap." "Seato is the one that warned the resistance about Glendron, and other planets that the Federation wanted to invade. He has saved countless lives for the resistance." "Why don't we try Seato's plan? It couldn't hurt," Vila suggested. "And if the information isn't true, we could still take a party down and rescue Avon." "You have twelve hours. If we don't have Avon back by then, I will take over the Goldhawk," Cally vowed.    "I left a present for you in the holding cells," Jaroslav Travis told Seato as they left Tarrant's cell after another interrogation session. "Thank you, sir," he said. "What is it?" "She's called Dayna. She's a prostitute. She's yours until we have to transfer her to the adaptation center." "She's to be adapted?" "No, she will be conditioned to be a loyal and willing concubine for me. She's going to the center to have a limiter placed in her mind." "I see," Seato said slowly. "Oh, and teach her a little humility while you're at it." "Yes sir. Thank you sir." He tried to sound grateful. He could hear the voices a hundred meters away from the girl's holding cell. Male voices. The guards had gotten to her first. He went into the cell. The room was crowded with guards. So crowded that he couldn't see the girl. He pushed past them. A guard was getting off the girl when he came into view. Another moved to get on top of her. "Leave her." Seato ordered. "Wait your turn," the guard said without looking at him. "I said leave her." The guard turned to punch Seato, when he realized who he was. "Sorry sir. I didn't realize it was you." "Get out of here." "But sir, she's just a hooker. We always get to break in female prisoners." "She was given to me. If you have any complaints about that, I suggest you take it up with Supreme Commander Jaroslav Travis," he said coldly. That suggestion made the guard back up a couple of paces. His friend grabbed him by the arm. "Let's get out of here. It's not good to cross Jaroslav Travis." Seato looked at the group of men. "Get out of here, all of you. That is an order." Reluctantly the men left, including the loud mouthed guard. The girl looked at him with large sapphire eyes. A large lump grew in his throat; she looked exactly like his dead wife. She was bruised, and her bed had been turned over in the struggle. He turned the bed back where it belonged, and picked the blanket off the floor. He put it around her. She tried to jerk away from him. "It's all right, I won't hurt you." She lay there unmoving. And for an instant, he wondered if this was how his Allya looked before she was killed. "So I'm yours now," she said without emotion. "Yes, Jaroslav Travis has given me to you." She sighed. "Get it over with." "I'm not going to hurt you." "Why not? That's how you people are." "We're not all alike, at least I'm not," he told her softly. //I am Seato, have you heard that name before?// "Yes, I have. You Jaroslav Travis's aid." //I am a spy for Blake. Your friends are coming get you.// //How could he know that?// she thought. //I can't tell you that. But please believe me, I will not hurt you. I promise you this on the code.// "What do you know about the code?" she demanded out loud. "Enough," he snapped. Then he calmed down. "I'm sorry. Are you all right?" "I've been better," she admitted. His beeper started to beep. He touched it. "I'll be right there," he said into it, then he looked at Dayna. "Duty calls. I'll be back." "I can't wait," she said sarcastically.    Mitra got out of bed, and went over to the dresser. She took something out of her dresser and switched it on. The holo glowed brightly in the dark. From the bed, Vila could see it. It was of a man in his early twenties, his russet hair braided into cornrows, with beads placed on each row. He had high Namur cheekbones, and large almond-shaped emerald eyes, characteristic of the Namur. But the man had pale skin with freckles. Mitra took out two boxes. The largest she opened. She took a knife out, turning it over and over in her hands. Tears trickled down her cheek. Vila got out of bed, and touched her gently on the shoulder. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." She put the knife away, and wiped the tears from her face. She had been caught crying, a sign of weakness by Namur standards. "Is that Seato?" "Yes, it was taken before he betrayed the Namur." Vila picked up a box full of beads. He decided to change the subject. "These are beautiful. Why don't you wear them?" "I don't have that right. They belong to Seato." "Why do you keep them?" "Wishful thinking. I should throw them away, it's just..." She paused. "It seems like he won't come back if you throw them away." She nodded. "It's mad isn't it?" "Of course it's not mad. You still care for him." "I shouldn't. He's dead." "Perhaps you should make your peace with him." "I can't do that," she said, horrified. "It's not the Namur way. He wouldn't respect me if I did." "How do you know? Perhaps he's hurting as much as you are. He did reach out to you on Teal." "I couldn't do anything. I wanted to. Can't you understand? It must be this way." She began to cry again. Vila took her into his arms, and stroked her hair. "Of course I understand. I'm sorry I hurt you." "Sometimes I wish I was human. I envy you." "Why would you do that?" "You were able to get back with your brothers. To reclaim your family. I will never be able to do that." "You're part human. Perhaps you should let that part rule your life," Vila suggested. "Not with everything. Just with this." "No, I can't." She paused. "I'm sorry you saw me cry." "It's all right. I love you, remember?" he said into her ear. "Yes, how could I ever forget that?" Vila kissed Mitra very gently. He turned off the holo and led her to bed.    Tahdzee and Kerria where at the pilot's console, working together. Tahdzee felt Kerria's eyes on him as he pretended to be concentrating on the panel."What's so interesting about that board?" "I must keep a lookout in case anything happens." "I see, just being a dutiful officer." "The Federation has your uncle. We must get him back." "I didn't think you cared." "Please Kerria, don't be this way." "What do you mean?" "I am not good for you. I am a crook and a prostitute. I am not a good influence." "Shouldn't I be the judge of that?" she asked."How can you even stand to talk to me after I ruined your honor?" "Humans don't believe in honor the way Namur do," she reminded him gently. "A person can't just not have honor," he said."So we can't be friends anymore." "It's for the best." "I see." A tear trickled down Kerria's cheek. Vila came onto the flight deck, looking rested. "How's everything going?" "It's been very quiet," Tahdzee told him. "How long have you been on duty, Kerria?" Vila asked her. "I'm not sure." "Fifteen hours," Tahdzee interrupted. "Why don't you take a break?" Vila suggested. "Take a nap." "I'm needed here." "You need to be fresh in case anything does happen. I promise if anything does happen, I'll call you first thing." "Yes sir." She got up to leave. "Kerria." Kerria stopped. "What is it?" "You've shown an amazing devotion to duty. I'm very proud of you." "Thank you. " She tried to smile. Then she left.Tahdzee watched her go, then resumed staring out at the stars. He felt very bad that he had hurt her. But he knew that he would hurt her worse in the long run. Cally came onto the flight deck. Vila groaned when he saw her. "It hasn't been fifty hours yet." "I know that. I thought you might need some help." "I think we've got the situation covered." "I see. I am sorry that I disturbed you. " She started to leave. "You're not disturbing me, Cally. You're always welcome on the flight deck," Vila said. "I just don't want you taking over the ship and getting yourself hurt." "I can handle myself. I am a trained guerrilla." "I know that. But I don't think Avon would forgive me if I let you get killed." He paused. "In fact I thought you could lead the raiding party on that shuttle. It's right up your ally." "You would trust me enough to do that." "Of course I would. I've always trusted you." "Even though I doubt your leadership capacity?"Vila flinched. "Even then." Cally sat down at the communications console, and started making checks. Perhaps she's right. Perhaps I shouldn't be in charge, he thought as he watched her. I should give it up. I'm simply a slave. Tarrant trusts you. Your the one he thought should be his first officer, not Cally.    Jaroslav Travis found Seato hard at work, even though it was the middle of the night by local standards. The Captain sat staring at a view screen: one half showed a cell with Dayna, he watched a report scroll by on the other side. "What are you reading?" Jaroslav Travis asked, looking over Seato's shoulder. "The interrogation transcripts from the planet Glendron. I thought I might find some way of capturing the crew hidden in one of these reports." "Once Blake finds out about Tarrant's capture, he'll order the Goldhawk to come back and find them," Jaroslav Travis told him. "Then we can capture them at out leisure. "Of course sir." Jaroslav Travis put a hand on Seato's shoulder. He could feel heat radiating through the shirt. "Have you gone to bed yet?" "No sir, I can't sleep." "You've been having a lot of insomnia lately. Perhaps you should see a specialist when we get back to Earth." "I can't afford that." "Now that you work for the Supreme Commander, you get your medical free." "I didn't know that, sir." "Have you been feeling ill lately? You've got a fever." "I thought I had a cold, sir." "You'd better get some rest before you come down with something serious." "Yes sir." "It's an honor to work for space command," Jaroslav Travis reminded him. "It would be a pity if you lose your job due to exhaustion." "Yes sir." Seato switched off the reader. "Good night sir." Jaroslav Travis watched Seato leave, then he turned off all the monitors leading into the interrogation chamber. The mutoid on duty looked up to him. "Communications must be kept open at all times." "What I am going to do is top secret. It is not to be shown over the monitors." "By whose authority?" "My own. I am Supreme Commander." "Of course, Supreme Commander."    "What's going on?" Paatrov asked, coming onto the flight deck. "Paatrov, you should be in the medical ward," Cally told him. "Why should I?" "You were poisoned, remember?" "Of course I remember. But I feel fine, better than I have in a long time." Paatrov sat down on the couch and put his feet up. "I assume we haven't gotten Kerr back yet." "No. He's going to be taken to an adaptation center. It would be easier if we simply hijack the shuttle," Vila told him. "And who told you that he was going to be taken to an adaptation center?" "Seato did." "Well, that's all right then." "You trust Seato," Vila asked neutrally. "Of course I trust him. He is working for us. "Mitra came onto the flight deck. "So this is where you escaped to." "I got bored, so I left. Nothing wrong with that.""You didn't have my permission." "I'm fine, Mitra," he said, trying to reassure her. "How did you know I was up here?" "I have my ways." "All right. Who told on me?" Paatrov demanded."I did," Cally said. "You had no right to do that.""You're ill, I was worried about your health.""Thanks for your concern," Paatrov said. "Lets go back down to medical," Mitra suggested. "No. I'm staying right here." "You're not well." "I am well. I ran a scan over myself before I left. It said I was the healthiest I've been in years." "If you don't come down to medical on your own, I'll stun you, and carry you." "Listen, you. I'm the expert in human medicine. I say I'm healthy, so that's all that matters." "You're being unreasonable," Cally said. "No, you are. I was dying of boredom in medical. Up here I can help." "He does have a point," Vila said. "Shut up, Vila," Cally snapped. Vila ignored her. "If you do feel sick, will you promise you'll go down to medical?" "Of course." Paatrov told him. "No, no please," Cally said. She brought her hands up to her head, then collapsed. ] Mitra went over to her, and knelt down beside her. "Cally, are you all right?" "What's wrong with her?" Vila asked. "I think I heard a scream, telepathically," Paatrov said. "Do you know where it came from?" "I'm sorry, I couldn't tell." Cally's eyes opened. "What am I doing on the floor?" "You fainted. Do you remember why?" Mitra asked, helping her to sit up. She nodded. "It was Tarrant." "What happened to him?" "Jaroslav Travis is torturing him. I think he tried to put him though the mindsifter." Vila went suddenly pale. "Is he still alive?" "I don't know." "Will she be all right?" "I'll be fine. I only fainted," Cally said. "At least take a break for a few minutes," Mitra suggested. "Yes, that is a good idea."    Seato was awakened by a scream. A mental scream of someone in indescribable agony. It was long and drawn out, and Seato wondered if it would ever end. Then it stopped, abruptly. It could only mean one thing. Jaroslav Travis was putting someone though the mindsifter. The very thought of it made him sick. //I won't tell you anything,// Tarrant vowed. Then the scream started again. Seato had broken his word to Mitra. One of her crew would be injured. He wished he could go down to the interrogation chamber and stop it. But it was too late. He just hoped that there would be something left of the man known as Tarrant when all this was through. Several hours passed as Seato had to endure the scream. All his telepathic training couldn't help him block out the scream. He had to share in Tarrant's pain. There was a non-existence between life and death, between madness and sanity. This was where Tarrant was. He wished it all could end. Simply end. He was helpless. He couldn't move, his senses where dulled. He couldn't see or hear, or feel anything by touch. But in his own way, he was still aware. Perhaps this was death. Perhaps this was some sort of punishment the after life had dealt out to him. Perhaps that was what the poets meant as the final rest. But he couldn't rest. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't go to sleep. Though that was what he really wanted. He didn't know how long it had lasted, when he felt someone enter the room. He didn't hear; inside he could feel the person moving around the room. He couldn't understand how, and he could hear the person think, inside his mind. //I must be mad.// "Tarrant, can you hear me?" the person said out loud. "Please leave me alone. I can't tell you anymore. You've taken everything," Tarrant gasped. Inside he knew he would die if put though the mindsifter again. Then someone entered his mind, and he wondered if he was going to have to go though the mindsifter again. He heard a voice. //I am here to help you.// //You've broken me. Why can't you leave me alone?.// //Captain Tarrant. I am not Federation. I am here to help you. I will not harm you. I am Seato Thoex. I work with Blake.// //How can a Human Namur hybrid be telepathic?// //They can when their father comes from Auron. You have a child, Tarrant, you must live for her.// //I've been broken, I don't deserve to live.// //If you are a rebel, you will be broken eventually. Now tell me, do you really want to die?// Something inside of Tarrant, something he couldn't control, cried out to survive. //Tarrant, you must sleep, or else eventually, in a matter of days, you will die.// //I can't. I've tried, but I can't.// //Are you tired?// //I've never been this tired before.// //When I tell you to sleep, you will fall asleep immediately. Every time I tell you this, you will sleep. You can trust me Tarrant, I will not betray you. I have a plan to get you out. You can trust me.// Seato stroked his forehead. //Sleep Tarrant, go to sleep. Your mind is entering the healing sleep it needs to recover. Now sleep, Tarrant.//    Jaroslav Travis found Seato in Tarrant's cell, checking the instruments on the mindsifter. He looked up to Jaroslav. "Good morning, Supreme Commander." "Does Tarrant still live?" "The instruments say he does." Jaroslav checked the instruments on the mindsifter for himself. Then he smiled: he had been given good news. In his present condition, Tarrant could not survive mutoid adaptation. He would die during the process. Which meant he wouldn't lose his position as Servalan's favorite. "Prepare the prisoner for transfer. Personally see that the prisoner is transferred to the shuttle that will take him to the modification center. Do you understand?" "Of course, sir." Seato gently unhooked the cups attached to Tarrant's forehead. There were large purple welts beneath them. He would be very lucky if he didn't have a scar, but then he wouldn't live long enough to have a scar. In his mind's eye, for an instant, Jaroslav Travis could see Servalan in Tarrant's place, after she had endured the mindsifter. When he took power, he would be sure that she did endure it, to punish her for his younger brother's death. A death that she was directly responsible for. Yes, Avon had actually shot the man at Star One, but he wouldn't have been there in the first place if not for her conditioning him to take Jaroslav's place. Yes, Servalan would make an excellent mutoid. Jaroslav Travis sat staring at a small screen, watching the course of the shuttle that had Avon, Dayna and Tarrant in person. It had been in the air for several hours and soon, the final act of his plan would be taking shape. A very pretty lieutenant, Seato's aide, was bent over a communications panel. Jaroslav Travis suddenly realized that Seato wasn't on duty. "Kyi, call Captain Seato, remind him that he should be on duty." "Of course, sir." A few seconds passed, then she looked up to him. "Seato isn't answering my hails." "Where the hell is he?" Jaroslav Travis asked himself. "I don't know, sir." Then it dawned on him. Seato had taken his orders too literally. "Contact the shuttle, ask the communications officer if Captain Seato is aboard." He watched her slim fingers dance over the panel. "Yes, Supreme Commander. Captain Seato is aboard the shuttle. Do you want me to have him hailed?" "No, that will be fine." Pity, it was sad that Seato's devotion to duty would cost him his life. An aide of his caliber would be hard to replace. He looked at the lieutenant with a new appreciation. It wouldn't be impossible, especially with an aide as obliging as Kyi. She looked up to him. "Supreme Commander, the shuttle has gone off course." "By how much?" "Twenty degrees." "It might just be a systems check. Keep monitoring." A few moments passed. "The ship is now forty degrees off course." "Get me contact with the ship." "The shuttle's communications systems are out." "I see. Run a scan of the ship's systems. Find out if it's damaged." "One of the engines has imploded, the other is losing power quickly." "Order a rescue ship to launch." "Second engine has imploded. The ship is going down." "Is it near any satellites?" "Yes sir, they're close to the eighth planet's fourth moon." "Send out a search party. Make sure that the debris is found, and that any survivors are rescued," he ordered. "Yes sir." Jaroslav smiled to himself. His plan had worked. All it took was two small bombs placed in the engine's chambers. Bombs that were of rebel design. Even if his people found the wreckage, there would be nothing to implicate him. So three of his problems where solved. Now, all he had to do was destroy the Goldhawk.    "The second engine has imploded, sir," the first mutoid told Seato. "Find the nearest satellite and land this thing." "Our orders were to take the prisoners to the adaptation center," the mutoid reminded him. "If we don't land this thing, there won't be any prisoners for you to take anywhere." "Yes sir. Commencing landing procedures." Before Seato had taken this job, he had been a pilot. So he recognized what kind of trouble the ship was in the moment he saw the display on the flight computer. If they didn't land the ship soon, the entire ship would go up in flames, as one system imploded after another. It was a horrible situation to be in, and one that the mutoids where taking calmly, much too calmly . He decided to go back to the prisoner's quarters and make sure that they were strapped in. He was very near the quarters when the shuttle gave a lurch, and he was knocked to the ground. Then it gave another lurch, and he was sent crashing into a wall, which knocked him out. There was smoke everywhere when he woke. But he realized that he was still alive. Somehow he had survived the crash. His left arm was pinned under him; it felt like it was on fire. He sat up, and tried to move it. He could, a bit. But it was definitely broken. He took the cell keys out of his pocket with his right hand. It was a bit awkward, having to use his right hand, because like most people of Auron origin, he was left-handed. The first cell he came across was Tarrant's; he found the door open half way, crawled over a pile of debris and went inside. "Dayna, is that you?" Tarrant asked, half conscious. "Dayna, what happened? I can't breathe." Seato took a filter mask out of a closet, and went over to the stretcher that Tarrant was strapped to. He touched Tarrant's forehead. //Tarrant, you must sleep, do you hear me? To survive, you must sleep.// "Yes, I hear you." //Good. I'm putting a face mask on you. It will help you breathe.// Seato did. //Now go to sleep.// Tarrant's eyes closed, and he fell asleep. Now to get him out of here. It would be impossible for Seato to carry him out with a broken arm. He would have to go and see if Dayna and Avon had survived. He had to climb over two piles of rubble to get to the cell, which wasn't that easy with his injury and with two face masks strapped to his waist. He could feel that someone was alive in the cell, but he couldn't tell who. Seato unlocked the cell and went inside. Someone grabbed him and pulled him to the ground. He groaned in pain as he fell onto his broken arm. The person turned him over and sat down on top of him. He felt his own gun press against his temple. It was the girl, Dayna. "Give me one good reason not to kill you," she growled. "If you kill me, you will have no one to show you where Captain Tarrant is." "Tarrant is here?" "Yes, and he's still alive." "Should we trust him? " Dayna asked Avon. "There's no reason to trust him," Avon said. "If you show us where Tarrant is, we will let you live. For now." "I'll take you to him." Dayna got off Seato, and he got up, clutching his arm to his body. He took a face mask off his belt. Dayna raised the gun. "Face masks. So you won't die of smoke inhalation." Avon took one and put it on. Reluctantly, Dayna did the same. They went out into the hall. "He's through there." "You go first, " Avon insisted. Seato showed them the way to the cell. He then went over to Tarrant's stretcher, and took his pulse. It was twenty. "Damn." He looked up to Dayna. "What is Tarrant's normal pulse?" "I'm not sure. What has that got to do with your officer?" Seato took Tarrant's face mask off so that they could see who he was, then he quickly replaced it. "What have you done to him? " Dayna demanded. "I did nothing. Jaroslav Travis, on the other hand put him through interrogation." "And you let him." "What could I do?" "You could have stopped him." "That's easier said than done." "You can argue later. Now we have to get out of here," Avon said, trying to open the emergency hatch. "Do you have a laser probe?" Seato got him one. Avon reprogrammed the door controls, and suddenly the door opened, and a gust of fresh air hit him in the face. "Take his feet." Seato did as he was told, though a groan escaped his lips when he picked his side up. They carried the stretcher several hundred yards from the wreckage, Dayna keeping guard all the time. He slumped against a tree, feigning pain. Not that it was that hard to do. He took a small box out of his pocket, and pressed a button on it. The shuttle blew up. She swung around to him, and took the box out of his hand. "What is this?" she demanded. "It's a remote control for the self destruct mechanism," Avon explained. "Why did you blow up your own ship?" "Because I wanted Jaroslav Travis to think that the ship blew up on impact," Seato said. He took off his face mask and ran his hands though his hair. "At least the air's breathable, and there are plenty of trees." "I would think you of all people would want to get rescued," Dayna said. "Do you recognize him?" Avon asked. "His name is Seasha, or something like that. He's Jaroslav Travis's aide." "I am called Seato Thoex." "Thoex, that's a Namur name." "Yes, it is. I work for Blake." "You expect us to believe that?" Avon said coldly. "Why would Jaroslav Travis' aide work for Blake?" "How else could he find out troop movements even before Jaroslav officially ordered them? He needed someone inside." "And that someone was you." "Yes. It was." "I don't believe this," Dayna said, exasperated. "Believe what you will," Seato said. He looked to the ground. //We have crashed. Your comrades are safe. We are on the eighth planet's fourth moon. Mitra, can you hear me?// "What are you trying to do?" Avon demanded. "What do you mean?" Seato asked innocently. "You were speaking telepathically to someone. Was that person Jaroslav Travis?" "I was trying to contact Mitra. She's my half sister. I thought she might be able to help," Seato explained. "I'm sorry I didn't get a response, I might have if my arm wasn't hurting so much." He could hear something off in the distance. "We have to get out of here." "We are going to stay here," Dayna said firmly. "Fine, stay here and get caught. I'm taking to ground." "You are going nowhere." She pointed her gun at him. He looked at Dayna. For a moment he could see his dead wife. "Do you really want to go back to Jaroslav Travis? Has he told you what he is planning on doing with you?" "What did you hear?" He could tell that she didn't quite believe him. "Mutoids. They're searching this area. We are right in their path." "Where did they come from?" "The escort ship. They must have landed soon after our crash." "I think you're making this up to try and escape," Avon said. "We are going nowhere." "Avon, Namurs have hearing that is much better than humans. He could have heard something," Dayna told him. "You would believe him." "What's the harm in hiding? We can't let them find Del." "Seato, take one end of the stretcher," Avon ordered. Seato nodded. He picked up one end and went pale with pain. They went behind a clump of bushes, where they set the stretcher down. Dayna grabbed him by the good arm, and pressed her gun into his neck. "Make one wrong move and you're dead." He nodded. Dayna pulled him down to the ground, gun pressed against him the entire time. A pair of mutoids came into the clearing that they had been in just a few seconds before. They walked past the trees, barely missing them. "Unless we do something they'll come back," Seato said. "You have been leading them to us, Avon. Haven't you wondered how the Federation's always been everywhere you've gone? They simply home into the signal you give off." "Do I have a homing beacon in me?" "Yes, you do." "And of course you never told anyone in the rebellion about it." "Jaroslav Travis has kept it top secret. I only found out about it before he picked you up this time." "Why didn't Orac spot it?" Dayna asked. "Jaroslav put a voice lock on finding anything about homing devices." "Do you know where this device is?" Avon asked. "Your lower left canine has a cap on it. The transmitter is embedded in the cap." Avon felt in his mouth. He found the tooth and pulled hard. The tooth came out. "You're right. There is a transmitter. It's small, but capable enough to do the job." Avon dropped it to the ground, and crushed it beneath his heel. "Does this moon have any human settlements?" "Unfortunately, the settlers only settled in the southern section. This is the northern section. We are at least two hundred kilometers from any life." "Which means we have to take care of ourselves," Dayna said. "Unless we leave Tarrant," Avon suggested. "I will not leave Del." "We could survive easier." "I don't care," Dayna said firmly. "Have it your way." "If only there weren't so many trees," Dayna sighed. "Less than a kilometer away there is a mountain ridge. There could be caves there," Seato suggested. "Read the mutoids' minds. Find out if there are any caves, and see if they've been searched," Avon ordered. "No, I will not do that. Mutoids have no souls. They are simply mindless automatons. It would be easier to join with a computer." "If you want to survive, you will. Because if you don't I will kill you," Avon growled. Seato closed his eyes and bowed his head. It took him several moments to get the information. "I will show you where they are." Seato lead them to a ridge of caves; Avon stood guard over him while Dayna checked them out. She came back almost an hour later. "I found a good one, it even has its own water source." They brought Tarrant into the cave, putting him on a ledge. Seato released the cot, and went only a few meters, where he collapsed, holding his broken arm. "Get up," Avon ordered. "I can't," he gasped. "Get up or I'll kill you." "Kill me then." "Leave him alone," Dayna cut in. She knelt down by Seato. "Did you break your arm?" "I don't know. I haven't looked." "Let me see." He pulled his arm close to him. "I'll be all right." "But you're in pain." "I won't let the pain defeat me," he said, using a Namur saying. "I am your enemy, you will use my injury to hurt me, so you can get answers. Federation or rebel, you humans are all alike in that way." "You look like your sister," Dayna told him. "I am pale." "So? There's still a resemblance. Rest for now." Seato nodded. "Thank you, Dayna."    Tarrant woke. The muzzy feeling of last time was still there, along with dulled senses. But this time he could open his eyes. He looked around. His vision wasn't the best. Everything was a thick grey fog. He wasn't in the interrogation cell. He was somewhere else, perhaps another cell. There was a pinpoint of light to the side. He tried to move towards it, but found he was paralyzed. His body was too heavy to move. And what was worse, someone was in the cell with him. "Who are you? " His voice seemed far away, distant. The person moved closer to him. It was talking to him, but he couldn't understand the words. Then the person was at his side. It touched him gently on the forehead. "I'm here," Dayna told him softly. "Dayna," he gasped. "How are you feeling?" "Am I dead?" "No, you're not dead," she told him gently. "When will my next interrogation be?" "There isn't going to be one." "Jaroslav Travis will be back for me. I know he will." Tarrant was out of breath. "We've escaped." "This is the med unit on the Goldhawk?" "No, we are in a cave. It's a long story, but we're safe here." "I want you to kill me." "I can't do that," she gasped, horrified. "You've killed many times before. It will be quite easy." "Why would you want me to kill you?" "I betrayed you. I told everything." He paused. "They broke me." "No one has ever been able to resist the agonizer. You're strong Del, there is some reason you survived." "I never thought you were the type that believed in fate." "I had to. It was the only thing that let me survive being a prostitute." "Did you ever want to kill yourself?" "At first, for the first few weeks, I wanted to die. My owner tortured me into becoming a prostitute. They said all the pain would stop, if only I submitted. But I wouldn't. I thought I would die from the torture, or they would grow tired of me, and kill me, but that isn't what happened. They broke me, and I submitted. At the brothel, I tried to kill myself several times, but each time Tahdzee would stop me. He said I couldn't let my owner win by killing myself. If I had killed myself, Biahana wouldn't have been born, and I would never have gotten you back." She paused. "If you died, all we had would be gone. I don't think I could lose you again." "I don't want to lose you either. But what do we have? There is nothing to tie us together." "Our feelings for each other do." "That is so fragile. Are you still legally bonded to Vila?" "We were never legally bonded. My owner wouldn't let us. She said slaves didn't need to be." "I would like to bond with you." "There is a bond between us." "I mean legally, formally. The way Vila and Mitra are. Even Avon is legally bonded to Cally. Why can't we have what they do?" "We are rebels, we can't legally bond." "There is legal bonding in the resistance government. All we have to do it file the papers. That is if you want to be bonded to me." "I would like that." "I love you, Dayna," he said to her, as sleep overcame him again.    Jaroslav Travis went into the communications area. Kyi looked up to him as he entered. "Supreme Commander, the Goldhawk has left the solar system." "Good, keep a watch for any signals to see if the ship comes back." "What do you mean, signals, sir?" the aide asked, puzzled. "The ship's gone." He leaned over Kyi's shoulder, and programmed Vila's homing device code into the computer. It showed up as a blip on the screen. "You see, there they are." "I'm sorry, sir. I was sure they had gone." "They haven't left, they are using their cloaking device. Fortunately for us, the homing device uses a different frequency than the ones the device blocks out. Make sure you keep someone at watch at this post until we capture the crew of the Goldhawk. What is your full name?" "Aungsan Suu Kyi." "Since my aide died tragically in the rebel attack, I am in need of a new assistant. Would you be interested?" "Yes sir, I would," she said eagerly. "Good, assign a mutoid to your watch, and join me in my quarters. That is if you wouldn't mind." He could order her to go with him, but he wanted to see if she would, willingly. She smiled at him. "It would be an honor, sir."    He didn't want to be captain of the Goldhawk. Tarrant had bothered and harangued Vila into agreeing. He still didn't know if he was the right choice. But he wouldn't step down, no matter what happened. He wouldn't break his word to Tarrant. He just hoped that they found him soon. He didn't want to be stuck being the captain of this ship for the rest of his life. "Daddy! " Biahana almost shouted, coming onto the flight deck. She went up to him and stopped dead in front of him. "Daddy sad." "Your daddy is very sad, I think he needs a hug," Tahdzee told her. Biahana climbed up into Vila's lap and hugged him tightly. Vila held her very close. He had felt much better since Tarrant had made him Biahana's chosen father, a tradition on Tarrant's home planet, one that made him just as much Biahana's legal father as Tarrant was. "So here's where you ran off to," Kerria said, coming onto the flight deck. "She came to visit me." "I turned around and she was gone. I'm sorry, Vila, I wasn't trying to neglect her." "Of course you weren't. Bia just gets restless. Why don't you leave her up here with me, and you and Tahdzee can take a break," Vila suggested. "I don't think that would be a good idea." Tahdzee said. Kerria flinched. "Yes, I must go back to my homework." She turned and left. "Why didn't you go with Kerria?" Tahdzee illo "I have my reasons." "Up until the past couple of days, the two of you were inseparable. Now you won't have anything to do with her. I want to know why." "I'm not good for her." "Why would you say that?" "It's the truth. She's so young, so pure. She doesn't need to become involved with an ex-prostitute. I am evil." "Why hasn't it bothered you before?" "It did. Cally and Mitra caught me with Kerria, I had taken her shirt off, and if we hadn't been stopped, I probably would have made love to her. I disgraced her honor. I have loved her for a long time, from afar, now we have become too close. I do not want to make her as evil as I am." "You've hurt her very badly." "I know, but it is better for her to be hurt a little now, than to be hurt more later." He turned back to his work. "You're not evil, Tahdzee. I think you should apologize to her." "I will later, but not now." "Daddy, where is Mama and Isiati?" Biahana asked. She had started calling Tarrant the Tealian name for father. "They're not here, honey." "Where they go? On mission?" "Yes, they are on a mission," Vila lied. "Back soon?" "I hope so." "Me too. Miss them." She smiled. "Princess, princess. Bia is princess. Grandma great Empress. Bia become queen someday." Vila smiled to himself. He didn't tell Biahana that Teal didn't have queens, and that the empress already had an heir. He had only met Shikayko's daughter once, at Shikayko's bonding to Tarrant's father Alejandro. She was on the planet Cherone, one of the member planets of the United Planets of Teal, attending university. She was a cute kid, and very intelligent. She would make a good empress someday. "Who told you that you would be queen?" "Tahdzee say I be good queen." "You'd be the prettiest." "Tell story." "For you darling, anything."    Seato was staring at her again. She had seen men like that before. Men who would stare at her for hours on end, and pretended all they wanted was a drink, and later, sometimes two or three days later, the man would return and request that Dayna service him for an hour. And when they got to the room that Dayna used for customers, she would find that her customer didn't want just sex, but instead, wanted to hurt her. The worst thing was the helplessness. For the customer had usually paid extra for the privilege of hurting her. So she had to endure the pain. Dayna had not taken the drugs that Tahdzee had, the drugs that made his body enjoy and actually crave what the customers wanted. Perhaps they would have made the memories easier. Then again, they might not. Tahdzee felt guilty that the drugs made him enjoy his slavery. But she had the memories of what it was like without the drugs, and she thought he was lucky. He was still young; those memories would fade eventually. This is not Magnus. He won't be able to hurt me and get away with it. I would kill him before I let him hurt me. "Dayna. I need to give you something," Seato said. "I don't want anything from you." Seato worked the heel of his boot off. He took out two micro disks, replaced the heel and held the disks out to Dayna. She took them from him. There were no markings. "What is it?" "Tarrant's confession." "How is that going to help us?" "One is the master print of the confession, the other a copy for Jaroslav's personal files. These are the only copies that exist." "Why did you take them?" "That would be very dangerous information in the wrong hands. I consider the Feds to qualify." She put the disks down her boot. She decided to test him, to see if he was really with Blake. "How far away from the base is the village called Zhou?" "You mean Blake's base?" "Of course I mean Blake's base." "I don't know, I've never been to Xiaodan. When I started working with him, his base was on the planet Balin." "But yet, you know Paatrov." "He didn't become my contact until Xiaodan joined the resistance." "Do you know Tahdzee Neith?" "I should. He's my brother-in-law." "How many siblings does he have?" "Two. Essain, who runs a resistance base on Balin, and Allya." A pained look crossed his face. "The one known as Allya is dead." Dayna knew that everything he had told her was available in Federation records. She didn't believe him but decided that she would wait a bit longer to test him more.    Tarrant had a headache. Actually, that was one of The most mild understatements of the year; he felt worse than the day he woke and found his face was injured. The pain was horrible, and he couldn't move. But then it was nice to be able to feel something. He opened his eyes, and realized he could see. Avon was sitting beside him, gun on his knee. There was a pile of rocks in front of him that gave off some light. "Is that you, Avon?" "Of course it's me. Who where you expecting, Vila?" He turned to Tarrant. "How are you feeling?" "Splendid, couldn't be better. Really, my head feels like someone tried to drive a spike though it." "So you're getting better." "This is better?" He looked around but he couldn't see Dayna. He remembered talking to her. Asking her to bond with him. Was it only a dream? "Did Dayna survive the crash?" "Of course she did." "Where is she?" "Taking a look around outside. She wanted to make sure the mutoids were gone." "Mutoids. The Feds are looking for us." "Yes they are." Tarrant looked up to the ceiling. "Do you think I'll recover?" "I don't know. I'm not a physician." "I know, I just thought. Well, never mind." "What were you thinking?" "Will I be this way forever?" "You've already been though the worst part. If you can survive the first two days, half the battle is won." "How long did it take for you to recover after yours?" Avon's face became a cold hard mask. He looked off in the distance, and didn't answer. Seato came into the cave from somewhere behind Tarrant, somewhere that was out of his vision. He carried a Federation helmet in his right hand, and hugged his left to his body. He handed the helmet to Avon. "What took you so long?" Avon demanded. "I'll have to go back and get it." He turned and left. Several seconds passed and he returned, carrying something that he dropped to the floor. It was fish. "I found us some food" "All by yourself, with a broken arm," Avon said, unbelieving. "I can still hunt." "I'm not going to eat raw fish." "There are some rocks back there; when you put them together, they produce heat. I'll go get some." Seato left again. "Shouldn't you help him out?" "Someone has to watch you," Avon said, not looking at him. "I'm not going anywhere." "I know, that's the point." "So you're protecting me from Seato." "He's Jaroslav Travis' second in command. If the Federation finds us, he'll probably be more than happy to give us to Jaroslav." "I thought he was helping us. Working for Blake." "Seato work for Blake? You've got to be kidding." He paused. "Would you like some water?" "Please." Avon fed Tarrant some water. Scooping a bit in his hand, and letting it pour into Tarrant's mouth. He did this several times, then put the container on the ground. "Can I have some more?" "In a little while. Too much water when you first wake can make you very ill." Seato returned with an armful of stones. He dropped them, then sat down on the ground beside them. For a moment he looked very pale, and swayed a bit. He then put two stones together, and cracked them with a larger stone, and they started to glow red. He ground these stones into particles. He did this until he had a fairly large pile. He put the fish flat on the ground, then covered the fish with the rocks. He looked up to Avon. "They will be done in an hour." "How did you know how to do that?" Tarrant asked him. "I endured the Namur Rites Of Passage." "What's that?" "I was dropped on an uninhabited moon; all I had with me was my knife. I had to survive for a month. To survive meant that I was considered an adult." He looked at Tarrant. //Go to sleep.// Tarrant felt his eyes grow heavy, and he fell asleep. Seato and Mitra had been born only ten years apart. By human standards that would only mean they were two to three years apart. They were in their bedroom building things with the blocks that Seato's father had brought for him. Seato adored his sister, and watched in mute fascination as she built houses. They were using their secret language, as he thought of it, each communicating with the other without the benefit of speech. //What are you building?// Mitra asked him. //A restaurant. Like mama's.// //So that's why you have blocks scattered everywhere.// //They're not blocks, they're tables.// //Why don't you help me build my house?// //Can I?// he asked hopefully. //Of course you can.// The door slammed, and Seato looked up. It was his father. Even a child as young as Seato could pick up his anger. "What are you doing?" "We're building a house," Mitra told him. "Tell me boy, what are you doing?" his father demanded. //We're playing.// His father slapped him across the face. "Use your tongue. That's what the gods gave it to you for." Seato looked down and shrugged. His father raised his hand again to hit him, when Mitra said, "Seato can't speak." "What do you mean, can't speak? He's three years old." "Seato doesn't talk. Not with his mouth. He thinks things." "How long has he done this?" "A long time." Seato's father turned to him. "I hoped you would be unscathed, you would somehow end up pure Namur. Gods, you could never be passed off as one of them. You should never have been born. You contaminate the entire soul of Auron." He came close to Seato, who tried to run away. But his father caught him by the arm. He applied pressure to the young arm. "You will not talk with your mind again. Ever. Do you understand?" Seato nodded. "Do you promise?" The pressure grew stronger. Seato nodded again. The pressure on Seato's young arm increased even more. Mitra rushed towards him. "You're hurting him." "How do you know that?" He shook Seato hard. "Did you tell her?" //Yes, I did,// he shouted telepathically. He felt the bones of his arm crush under his father's grasp as his father broke his young arm. Seato began to cry. "You deserved that," his father sneered. "You couldn't even mask your pain."    Dayna woke suddenly from the dream. It had been so vivid, almost like it had been real. In the light from the fire, she could see Avon and Tarrant sleeping. She glanced at Seato, who was awake, but the look on his face made him seem hundreds of kilometers away. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Seato," she said. He didn't say anything. She went over to him and repeated his name, but he was too deep in thought to answer. She touched him, gently, on his good arm. He looked up to her. "What is it, Dayna?" "You need to get some sleep, you were transmitting your thoughts." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said, ashamed. He reached up and wiped the tears from his face. "Why did you tell me? I would think you would welcome the chance to monitor my thoughts." "Did that really happen to you?" "Did what really happen to me?" "Did your father really break your arm for speaking telepathically?" "Yes, he did. He wanted me to be Namur, and Namurs aren't telepathic." "But you couldn't help it. You were a child." Try telling him that." He paused. "I have never considered myself Auron because of the way my father treated me." "All Aurons aren't like that," she reminded him gently. "All the ones I have met have been. As soon as they found out that I was a hybrid, they would have nothing to do with me. I look at it this way, it was their loss. What more could I do?" "Not much." Seato struggled to stand. "It's all right. Rest for awhile," Dayna told him. "If I don't work, you'll tell Avon that I refused to work, and he'll kill me." "Why do you say that?" "It's the truth. You know it's the truth. He hates everything having to do with the Federation. Including me." She reached out to touch him. "So this is how it is to begin. The torture." "I'm not Avon. I won't hurt you unless you do something to deserve it. I give you my promise on the code," she said solemnly. "Now, is your arm broken?" "I think so." He paused. "I give you permission to touch me." She touched him on the cheek. "Do you know you're running a fever?" "I am Auron, my body temperature is one hundred and one Fahrenheit." "You're much warmer than that. You're burning up." "It's so cold in here." "I wish Mitra were here. She could help you." "I have done too much to be forgiven. I am dead to the Namur, therefore, she can't help me." "Paatrov would help you." "Yes, Paatrov is a good person." "Can I ask you something?" "If you want." "When Jaroslav Travis gave me to you, you refused to use me," Dayna said. "You wouldn't let the guards have me either. Why?" "It isn't honorable to rape a person." "The Federation's never been honorable," she reminded him. "In my heart I am Namur. It is against the code to rape someone, plus there is something else." "What?" "Tahdzee didn't tell you?" "Tell me what?" Dayna demanded," "You look so much like my wife, that you could have been her twin sister." An image formed in Dayna's mind, of her, as a Namur, with her hair long and braided. Instantly she knew it wasn't her, but Seato's wife. "It's incredible," she gasped. "I would have disgraced her memory if I had hurt you." He paused. "Tahd never told you about her, did he?" "No he didn't." "I am surprised. He was very close to her." "So that's why he took care of me when we were slaves. I was blinded by my owner, left completely helpless. Tahdzee found me, told me he wouldn't let me die, that he owed me a life debt. For the Liberator helping him. We helped him, but nothing major enough to get a life debt. Perhaps he saved me because I resembled Allya." "That would be a very good reason," he agreed.    "What do you think of Seato?" Avon asked, as soon as Seato went to get some more water. Dayna was surprised that Avon would ask her opinion. "I'm not sure. I almost believe him." "Almost, but not fully." "It's the way he looks at me. He follows every movement I make." "If you had told me that you were going to kill me, I might keep an eye on you." Avon pointed out. "So you believe him." "It's not a question of believing him. He's Federation. The only reason I keep him alive is because he could be useful." "How?" "We could ransom him to Jaroslav Travis, or we could kill him very slowly." "Even though he could be working for Blake?" "He's not," Avon said curtly. "He made up that story." "But he's a hybrid." "So? He's also part human. It would be to his advantage to pretend humanness. I'm going to check out the wreckage," Avon said, getting up. "I might find something useful. While I'm gone, keep an eye on Seato. Don't let him anywhere near Tarrant."    "I just got a message from Avon," Cally said, coming onto the flight deck of the Goldhawk. "Why hasn't he contacted you before now?" Vila asked. "Because we were too far away until now." "That means Avon is close. Do you know where he is?" "On the eighth planet's fourth moon." "Then we'd better go down there and check," Vila said. "We've already checked three planets and five moons with no results," Tahdzee pointed out. "We hadn't received any message from Avon telling us where he was, now had we?" Vila asked him. "No, but I thought you would have much more sense than to accept the word of a telepathic message." "You do not like telepaths?" Cally asked him. "Telepathy is against the code. I was taught that telepaths are evil." "Why would you think a telepath is evil? " "It is believed that a telepath can kidnap a person's soul." "Do you believe that?" "No. But I am skeptical of any message that I didn't hear myself, if it's over a closed channel, or telepathy. I did not mean to offend you." "Put that way, there is no offense taken," Cally told him. "Cally, I would like you to lead the search party," Vila told her. "I thought you didn't trust me." "I trust you. You are the only one on board that is a trained guerilla." "Thank you. I will not betray your trust," Cally told him. "Who's going to stay on the ship?" Tahdzee asked. "Mitra and I will. That way if the Feds decide to attack, I can have Orac pull you out. " "I think we should have three groups searching in different places for maximum coverage," Cally suggested. "Sounds good to me." "We'll put a group by the shuttle crash sight. The rest can search the woods around."    They teleported outside a shuttle that was little more then tangled ruins. "How could anyone have survived this?" Tahdzee asked. "Perhaps they had escape pods," Cally suggested. "No, shuttles of this size don't have escape pods." He paused. "Do you hear anything?" "No, but that doesn't mean there's no one there. Namur do hear better then Aurons." "I think there is someone in there." "Can you tell if it's one of ours?" "No, I can't tell." He took out his crossbow and loaded it. "You're going to use that against a Federation trooper?" Cally asked, incredulous. "This is silent. No one else will hear it. Especially not his friends, if he has some." Cally brought her wrist to her lips. "Paatrov. I think we've found someone." Tahdzee moved closer to the wreckage. He heard the noise again, this time behind him. He turned sharply. "You can put that thing down. Do you really think I'd hurt you?" Vila asked. "I thought you said you were going to stay on the ship." "I changed my mind." Tahdzee bought his communicator up to his mouth. "False alarm." "What do you mean, false alarm? What did you hear?" Cally asked. "It was Vila. He's decided that he wants to help us." "Good, we can use an extra hand," she said. "Why don't the two of you scout out the ruins?" "Sounds good to me." Tahdzee was surprised to see that the ruins were relatively hidden. "Are you sure the shuttle landed here?" he asked Vila. "That's what Orac said." He heard someone moving closer to them. Both Vila and Tahdzee ducked down behind a bush. The person walked past them. In the half light Tahdzee couldn't see his face clearly. But he could see the Federation issue coveralls. "That isn't one of ours, is it?" Tahdzee asked. "No, it isn't." Vila brought his communicator to his lips. "We found someone. This one definitely isn't one of ours." "Are you sure?" Cally asked. "Positive. He's heading to the ruins." "We're on the other side, do you want us to go first?" Paatrov cut in. "You can be brought back up," Cally suggested. Vila looked at Tahdzee. "Oh great. Just what we needed. To be volunteered for senseless danger." "You're the one who wanted to come down." "That didn't mean I wanted to lead a full scale charge at a Federation trooper." He stood up. "Oh well, have to die sometime I suppose." They followed the man to the ruins. The man bent down and picked up one of the twisted remnants of the ship. Vila took out his gun. "Hold it right there," he ordered. The man froze. "Put your hands where we can see them." The man did. "Now turn around slowly." The man did. They were greeted by a very familiar person. "Avon!" "I don't believe this," Tahdzee gasped. "You took your time finding me," Avon said. "You're all right," Vila said. "You sound disappointed." "Why are you wearing that?" "After my arrest, they took away my clothes. I have heard that after your little stunt on Glendron, they do that to all the prisoners. To make sure that they don't have any hidden communications device." Cally came up to him. She touched him gently on the arm. Tahdzee could hear her say telepathically, //It's good to see you.// //I'm glad you found me. This wilderness is getting on my nerves.// //Are you all right?// //As well as can be expected.// "Are there any other survivors?" Tahdzee asked. "Did Dayna survive?" "Yes, Dayna is alive. Would you like me to take you to her?" "Yes, please."    Dayna was worried; an entire day had passed, and Tarrant had yet to wake again. She took a piece of wet cloth out of a bowl, and wiped off his face, being careful not to touch the sores that the mindsifter had left. The purple welts had begun to heal, leaving brown scabs. She heard a noise. Carefully, she took her gun out. She spun around to face the intruder. It was Avon, followed by Tahdzee, Vila, Cally, Paatrov and Kerria. Dayna was so surprised to see them that she ran over to Vila and hugged him. "You're a sight for sore eyes!" "How are you doing?" he asked, concerned. "I'm fine, but Tarrant..." She pulled away from Vila. "What's wrong with him?" "Is he alive?" "Yes, but he's been hurt." "What's wrong with him?" Paatrov asked. "I don't know. He can't move, and he sleeps all the time." Paatrov pushed past her to Tarrant's cot. "Damn." "What is it?" Paatrov took out a medscanner and ran it over Tarrant. He then read it. "I'm going to have to get him back to the Goldhawk." "What's wrong with him?" Dayna demanded. Paatrov looked at Avon. "You didn't tell her what happened to him, did you?" "What's there to say?" Avon said coldly. "What happened to him?" Dayna almost shouted.Paatrov put away his med scanner, then turned to her. He put his hand on her shoulder. "The Federation's put Tarrant through the mind sifter." "He's going to die, isn't he?" "I'll be truthful with you. There's not much of a chance, but I'm going to try. I'll do everything I can to save him," Paatrov promised. "Don't lie to her, Paatrov," Avon said. "The chances of anyone surviving the mindsifter are almost nonexistent. Face it Dayna, he is going to die." "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" "Because I chose not to." "I survived the mindsifter," Cally told her. "But you're not human," Avon reminded her. "Neither is Tarrant. His system is almost completely Tealian." "Then let's get him back to the Goldhawk," Dayna said. "You're forgetting one thing; our prisoner," Avon said. "What prisoner?" Vila asked. "The one we captured after the crash," Avon told them. "I will need some one, perhaps Kerria, and Vila to help capture him." "Do you want me to help you?" Cally asked. "I think the three of us can handle it."    Seato waited until the fish swam between his hands, then in one motion, he threw it on the river bank. He counted the number of fish he had caught. Deciding it was enough, he got out of the water, and sat down at the bank. It wouldn't hurt for him to take a small rest, would it? He knew that Avon would probably kill him if he caught him relaxing, but the pain from his arm was so severe that he really didn't care. He heard voices in the distance, unfamiliar voices. Tarrant's crew had found him, he guessed. Footsteps came nearer. He realized that they were going to kill him. His usefulness had come to an end. "Make one move and you're dead," a teenaged girl told him. She had a gun drawn and pointed towards him. "The lady means it," Vila Restal said. He too was armed. Avon came up behind Vila, his gun drawn. Seato could feel the hatred radiating from him. He wanted to kill Seato. The man was almost broadcasting it. "Get it over with. Kill me. I do not fear death." "We're not going to kill you. That is, if you cooperate," Vila said. He looked Avon square in the eye. "We both know the truth, don't we?" "Of course. The only reason I kept you alive this long was to insure our escape if we were captured by the Federation. Now that we are in more friendly hands, there is no longer a purpose in your living." Avon came closer to him, finger on his gun's trigger. He passed Vila, who gave him a karate chop in his mid back. Avon fell, and Vila took the gun from him. "Why, Vila?" the girl demanded. "You of all people should understand the pain his type inflicted on him and Cally." "We would be just like him if we killed someone that was unarmed. Besides, his sister might never forgive me." "Why should you care what his sister thinks?" "Because I'm bonded to her." He went over to Seato. He took out a bracelet and put it on Seato's arm. "Avon might disagree with me, but Tarrant made me his first officer." "What will happen to me?" "I'll take you to Xiaodan. From there you'll be free. I give you my promise on the code. While the Goldhawk is under my command, you will not be hurt." Seato felt the sincerity in Vila's voice. He took the knife that he had hidden on him out, and handed it to Vila. "This is Tarrant's." "Why did you bring this?" "Knives mean a great deal to my people. I thought they might to his too." "You'd better stand up. The teleport can be quite eventful if you are teleported sitting down." Vila brought his bracelet to his lips. "Four to bring up, Tahd." Suddenly Seato was aboard the Goldhawk. On his feet. Before he could get his balance, Kerria shoved him between the shoulders, sending him sprawling. "Look what we found on the planet. One honest-to-god member of Jaroslav's staff." "You had no right to do that." Avon, who was now awake, said. "Now that I'm captain of the Goldhawk, I do have the right," Vila told him. "You, captain?" "Tarrant did make him his second in command," Cally reminded him. "Tarrant was always a fool." He paused. "Are you going to give him the run of the ship?" Vila ignored him, and looked at Kerria. "Help me get him up." She nodded, and helped Vila stand him up. He noticed Mitra for the first time. She was standing in the doorway. "Hello Mitra." "Don't talk unless you are spoken to," she snapped. A wave of pain overcame him. He sagged against Kerria, who surprisingly held him up. "Are you hurt?" Tahdzee asked. "My arm is broken." "I wonder how much Jaroslav Travis would pay to get you back?" Avon wondered. "We can't return him to Jaroslav Travis! He'd kill him!" Tahdzee said. "He deserves to die." "No he doesn't." "We'll take you down to the med unit," Vila said. "You're mad." "Mitra's going to have to set his arm." "I refuse to treat Seato," Mitra said coldly. "He has a broken arm." "He's Federation. He's brought pain to many people. The gods are simply repaying him. He deserves the pain." "It is the Namur way. Ask him. He understands." "Yes, I understand." Seato gasped. "You see, it's settled. He'll have to wait for Paatrov to care for him."    Tarrant woke. He was on a soft bed. He opened his eyes and looked around. "I must be dreaming." "No, you're not dreaming," Paatrov told him. "But I'm on the Goldhawk." "It is your ship, remember?" he said with a bit of a smile. Tarrant looked around. Dayna was standing in the corner, watching. "So this is how it's going to start." "How is what going to start?" "The interrogation. What do you want from me this time, Jaroslav?" "Why would they interrogate you again? He's already gotten everything from you." Dayna stopped herself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it." "You were only telling the truth. The Federation did break me." Dayna went over to him and took his hand. "It wasn't your fault. There's no way a person can resist the mindsifter." Tarrant looked down to her hand. "You're real." "Yes Del, we're safe." "Why can't I move?" "Because you're still recovering. You'll move in a couple of days," Paatrov told him. "How much sleep did he get after the crash?" "He slept almost constantly. He woke only twice." "That's good. You needed sleep to recover. There's one thing though, a person who's gone though the mindsifter usually can't sleep, no matter how hard they try. So why are you different?" Paatrov asked. "After I went through the mindsifter, I thought I was dead. I man came in. It was Seato. I told him they had taken everything, and would he leave me alone. He came to me, he touched my forehead. He asked me if I wanted to live. Something inside of me, something I couldn't control, said yes. He told me that every time he would tell me to fall asleep, I would. Then he told me to sleep now. He stroked my forehead, and I fell asleep." "Seato saved your life," Paatrov said softly. "How?" "If a person survives the mindsifter, their death usually doesn't come from the sifter itself, rather exhaustion, and mental confusion. The mind wills itself to die. Because you have been sleeping, your mind has been able to heal itself." "So I'll be all right?" "Yes, if you allow yourself to be put under for a couple of more days." "All right, I will." He looked up to Dayna. "I love you. If I don't wake up, remember that I always loved you." "I will. I love you too." Dayna kissed him gently on the lips. Dayna watched as Paatrov took a hypo spray out of a cabinet. He went over to Tarrant, pressed the spray against his neck, and pulled the trigger. Tarrant fell asleep, and Dayna placed his hand back on the bed. "Dayna, before you leave, I need to ask you something. I promise it isn't to embarrass you." "What is it?" "When you were in Federation custody, did the guards rape you?" "How did you know?" "You're covered with bruises." "I'll be fine, I survived worst. I was a prostitute, remember?" "Just because you were abused before doesn't mean that you deserve this. I'm not going to let you out of here until you've been fully examined, both physically and mentally." She was about to object when he held up his hand. "That's an order, Dayna. If you feel uncomfortable with me giving the exam, Mitra would be glad to do it, but it must be done."    She was standing, her back against the wall, holding a laser rifle. She was young, very young by human standards -- still in her teens. She resembled her uncle more then her own father, but in a way that made her pretty. Her nose wasn't as large as the rest of the family's, instead it was small and upturned. He got feelings of hatred towards him. He was in a detention cell, a freezing detention cell. He took a blanket off his cot and wrapped it around his shoulders. It helped a bit, but the pain was still there, a pain that would not leave. "Do you like the Goldhawk?" he asked her. "It's a good ship," she said, fingering the trigger of the blaster. "So you're like most humans; you hate aliens." "I don't hate aliens. Both of my uncles are bonded to aliens. It would be stupid to hate your own family." She paused. "I'm not allowed to speak to you. I'm sorry." "It's not your fault." The cell door opened. Avon, Paatrov and an armed Tahdzee came in. "How is our guest doing?" Avon asked. "He hasn't tried anything yet." "Good. Help Tahdzee keep guard over him while we interrogate him." "Of course, sir." "I want you to run a DNA scan on our prisoner," Avon told Paatrov. "Find out who he really is." "I don't have to run a scan. I know him," Paatrov said. "From your days as a double Alpha." "He's a spy for Blake." "Information that comes from the likes of him is not to be trusted." Paatrov walked up to the forcefield separating them. "Does he know who you are?" "I told him, but he doesn't believe me." Paatrov turned to Tahdzee. "Do you know this man?" "Of course I do. He is called Seato Thoex. He is my brother in law." "How long have you known him?" "All my life." "Would you trust him?" "I would trust him with my life." "Is he really Namur?" Avon asked. "Yes, he is from Balin. His family was killed by the Federation." "Is this true?" Avon asked Seato. "Are you still working with Blake?" "Yes, I am." "Why should we believe you when your own sister calls you code breaker?" "Do you understand about honor? It still means something to me." "Are you working for Jaroslav Travis?" "I hate Jaroslav Travis." "Why is Mitra refusing to treat you?" "Because I am dead. In her eyes, I am simply another Federation officer." He tried moving his arm a bit, and gasped out in pain. "What's wrong?" Paatrov asked. "He broke his arm." Paatrov disconnected the forcefield. He went over to Seato. "Which one is broken?" "It's my left arm." "I'm going to have to take a look. Trust me, I won't hurt you." Seato nodded. Paatrov took the blanket away from his shoulders. He eyes narrowed as he examined him. "How long have you been this way?""Since the crash." "Did you know his arm was like this, Kerr?" Paatrov demanded. "Of course I did." "And of course you did nothing to help him. "He's our prisoner." "No, he's our guest. Come help me." Seato looked at Paatrov. "What are you going to do with me?" "Take you to the med unit and set your arm." Seato shook his head. "I can't, Mitra has refused me treatment because I am dead to her." "All right, you're dead. Now will you let me treat your arm?" Seato looked into Paatrov's steel blue eyes. Their minds touched for a moment. He could feel Paatrov's honesty. "Yes, I will let you treat me."    Paatrov and Avon guided Seato to the med center. During the trip, Seato felt as though he would pass out from the pain. They took him to a table, and he sat down on it. Paatrov took out a med scanner and ran it over Seato's arm. It started howling. Paatrov looked sheepish. "Sorry, it's still set for human." He reset it, and ran the test again with the same results. "I better get another one, this thing isn't working." "It's not your computer - it's me." "What's so special about you?" Avon demanded. "I'm a hybrid, that means my vital signs are individual to me." "What are your normal signs?" Paatrov asked. "Pulse forty, respiratory twenty, temperature one hundred and one, and blood pressure 40/4O," Mitra said, standing in the doorway. She was armed, as was the woman with her, the Auron. Paatrov adjusted the detector and redid the scan. The scanner beeped and he read it. "I need to take off your tunic." Seato nodded. Paatrov got a pair of scissors and cut the tunic off. Paatrov turned pale. "How is it?" Seato asked. "It's bad." Seato looked down to his arm. It was swollen to three times its size, covered with black bruises. The worst part was that his elbow barely resembled an elbow, it looked like it had been crushed. "Will you be able to repair this?" "I can try. There's no guarantee. I do have some poison on hand that could kill you in a few seconds, without pain. If you would like to go that path." "That would be impossible," Mitra said. "He is no longer of the Namur. He cannot be euthanized. He is already dead. Whatever pain he feels, he deserves." "He is my patient. I'll do with him as I see fit. I don't give a damn what your customs say," Paatrov snapped. "What are you going to do with him?" Avon asked. "That's up to Seato. What do you want me to do?" "I would like you to try and repair my arm. If you go in and find there's no hope, then yes, you may euthanize me." "Why would you kill him if he has a broken arm?" Cally asked. "It's our way," Seato said. "People that are physically handicapped are given the choice to die if they want. What is the use in living, if I only have one arm? My right one at that. You see, I am left handed." "What about prosthetic arms?" "Out of the question. It is against the code to use prosthesis. Especially electronic ones. That would make me too much like a mutoid." Cally took a step towards Seato. "You are in a great deal of pain." "Stay out of my mind," he snapped. "But you were projecting your pain. Are you Auron?" "I am part Auron. I am also a hybrid. I know what your lot thinks of hybrids." "What do you mean?" Paatrov asked. "The Aurons are xenophobic. They despise aliens, even when it is one of their own people that have the alien blood. They reject that person. Say he's contaminated the soul of Auron, whatever that is." "Whatever gave you that idea?" Cally asked. "Every Auron that I've ever met." "What about your Auron parent?" "Especially him." "Why don't you discuss this later?" Paatrov said. "Like after your arm is fixed."    "Are you thirsty?" Cally asked Seato while he was recovering from getting his arm repaired. "We have some qualva juice." "That would be nice." She poured him a glass and handed it to him. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had any qualva juice?" "I can imagine. Humans on the whole don't like qualva." She paused. "Have you been a telepath all your life?" "Why do you want to know?" "Curiosity. Seato, I'm not xenophobic. If I were, why would I bond with a human?" "But you have no children. You see, in a way you are xenophobic. Your bonded is good enough to bond with you, but not father your children." "I want children. But there's been no time." "How long have the two of you been together?" "Quite a while, but we've only been formally bonded for a few months." "I see. I am sorry." "It's understandable, knowing all the prejudice you've probably been exposed to. What did your father ever say to you?" "He said I shouldn't have been born. That I contaminated the soul of Auron, whatever that is." "It's just what some people call our race." She paused. "If we were all that bad, why would your father have you cloned? Or the technicians, why would they agree to your cloning?" "Whatever gave you the idea that I was a clone?" "Because that's how most Aurons have children." "Even though your planet was destroyed?" "Auron had several colonies, and the gene stock was transferred to one of the colonies. More Aurons are being replicated every day." "If you want to know the truth, I was an accident. When my mother found out she was going to have me, she decided to keep me. My father was not amused. He never spoke one kind word to me the entire time I knew him. He was ashamed of me." "I don't think he was ashamed of you. I think he was afraid of you. You're a very strong telepath. But didn't you feel that when he linked with you?" "I was never linked to my father. When I was very young, my father taught me to shield my mind. But that was all. Besides that, he wouldn't touch my mind." "Your father's type was the reason I left Auron. They were so xenophobic that they made Auron a neutral planet, and banished all those of mixed race. I didn't agree with them. I fought against it. I thought that it wouldn't be good for us. But there were more people that where closed minded. So I was banished. It was better than accepting their narrow beliefs." "That was very brave of you." "I don't think you know this, but your telepathic skills are stronger than a pure Auron's would be. For some reason, mixing the Auron genes with another race's makes the person ten times stronger than a native." "Why do you say that?" "It's the truth. For example, you have called Paatrov telepathically over great distances in space. A native Auron is usually limited to three or four light years at the most. What I can't understand is how you deal with the loneliness of being alone." "What loneliness?" "The loneliness of not touching others minds. You feel as if there is a great gulf in your mind, like being in a desert." "How did you know that?" He gasped. "Did you read my mind?" "No, I felt the same way after I was banished. It grew worse after Auron was destroyed. I can imagine how it was for you. To be never bonded. It is a form of torture." "You don't understand. I was bonded once. To Tahdzee's sister. Her name was Allya. She was Namur, but she understood about this. Even though telepathy is against the code, she was the only one besides my sister that let me bond with her. When I was bonded, I felt new, alive. It was so very wonderful. I felt like I belonged. Since my bonded died, and Mitra declared me dead, I have been truly alone. But one can grow used to anything, even torture."    Dayna went into the med unit. She noticed that Mitra was watching Seato and Cally talk, using an observation screen. A tear was trickling down her cheek. "Hello Mitra." Mitra wiped off her face. "Hello Dayna." "So now I know your little secret." "What secret was that?" "That your hatred of your brother was only an act." "I must act this way. It is tradition. He wouldn't respect me if I forgave him." "How do you know that?" "I know my brother," Mitra said. "I must make a new family now. I have the Goldhawk crew." "It's not the same." "Mind your own business, Dayna," Mitra snapped. "I just want to tell you one thing," Dayna said. "I had a sister once. Her name was Lauren. She wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend. We did everything together. Then one day she was murdered. She was only eighteen. I wish I had a chance to go back and try to save her. There is a loneliness that I have that can never be replaced. Even by the Goldhawk crew. If I had the chance that you have right now, I would take it." "Too many things have happened." "What things? Yes, he cut his hair. He can always grow it back. But if you don't make your peace with him, you might never see him again. Do you really want that?" "What if he tried to kill me?" "It's a chance you will have to take. On the planet, I got to know him a bit. He is an honorable man. He too is feeling pain from your parting. He still cares for you. You do realize that, don t you?" "He does?" she asked, surprised. "Yes, he does." "Perhaps you're right. I will speak to him before we arrive at Xiaodan."    It was a relatively quiet evening in the Goldhawk's crew room. Tahdzee had finally gotten the chance to enjoy a drink, and talk to Kerria. "Do you mind if I sit here?" Tahdzee asked, nodding to the empty space on the couch she was sitting on. She shrugged. He sat down, and she started to get up. He touched her arm. "Please, Kerria, don't go." "I wouldn't want to interrupt your break," she said, trying but not succeeding to be cold. "I've been looking for you." "Why? You don't want me to be your friend, remember?" "I was harsh with you. I'm sorry." "It's all right. You were only telling the truth." "No, I wasn't. I want to be your friend. In fact I felt like we were more then friends. At least that's what I felt towards you. But I embarrassed you. Now everyone knows what I did to you." "Not everyone. Cally and Mitra promised not to tell anyone. It will be a secret. " She paused. "Why are you ashamed of kissing me?" "Because I didn't control myself. You shouldn't be involved with a prostitute." You're young, you're innocent. I don't deserve to be in love with someone as special as you." "You're in love with me?" She gasped. "Yes, you understand why I can't be your friend. Because I couldn't guarantee this wouldn't happen again." "Why do you still feel guilty for Magnus? You've been free for eighteen months." "I feel guilty because I took drugs. Drugs that made me enjoy my customers. But I didn't think I could live with servicing them without the drugs." "Is what you feel for me like what you felt for them?" Kerria asked. "No, you're different. You're real. I've been afraid of reality." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Your past doesn't matter to me, Tahd. It never has. I would like to be your friend, too. And when the time is right, and you feel comfortable with the idea, we can become more than friends, we can become lovers. Because you see, I love you too. I love you enough to wait." "May I kiss you?" "Please." Tahdzee touched the side of her face, and kissed her very softly on the lips.    Evening watch. A quiet time when Vila usually stayed away from the flight deck. Until Tarrant recovered, he was the captain, and that made his being here very important. Tahdzee was on duty, but then Tahdzee always seemed to be on duty. He had gotten use to Tahdzee's sleeping habits long ago. The Namurs planet of origin had a forty-two hour day, and all the planets that the Namur settled on had similar days, like Balin's thirty-eight hour day. Which meant that Tarrant got almost two pilots for the price of one. It also seemed that Tahdzee had taken Vila's advice, because he and Kerria where acting like nothing had happened. Tahdzee looked up to Vila. "Federation interceptors are following us." "Is our cloaking device on?" "Yes, it is." "Then ignore them. They can't find us." Kerria looked up this time. "Captain, there is an interceptor coming towards us." *Vila, are you busy?* Bodan, the flight computer asked. "What is it?" *One of the Federation interceptors has launched a plasma bolt at the Goldhawk.* "Put the force wall up," Vila ordered. *You've got it.* The plasma bolt hit the screen, rocking the ship. Vila sat down in the weapons officer's chair. He started to punch up figures. "Call Cally, Mitra and Paatrov up here. Tell them what's going on. Tell Avon and Dayna to stay where they are." "They not going to like that," Kerria said. "I don't care if they like it or not. It's to our advantage to let Jaroslav think they're still dead. Why don't you tell them that?" "What are you doing?" "I'm letting them have a couple of our seeker missiles." Vila launched the seekers and watched with satisfaction as they hit the Federation ship. *Federation has launched a volley of plasma bolts at us.* "Can our shields contain it?" Vila asked. *I 'm not sure. * "Bodan, I want you to launch the same amount of plasma bolts, aimed at the Federation's volley. Put them at an intercept course." "That's crazy," Kerria said. Mitra, Paatrov and Cally had just arrived on the flight deck when the Goldhawk's plasma bolts exploded against the Federation's. The ship was shaken hard. Mitra lost her balance and grabbed the captain's chair. "What's going on?" "The Federation's found us." "How? Did we drop our cloak?" Paatrov asked. "No, somehow they've been able to see though it." Vila said. "Cally, take communications, Mitra take systems, and Paatrov, take offensive." Cally sat down at the communications panel, and put the headphones on. "Jaroslav Travis is hailing us." "Oh, is he? You'd better put him though. Oh, and put him on the main screen." He sat back down in the captain's chair. Jaroslav Travis stood, his arms crossed. He looked very smug, very self confident. His green eyes where cold, hard. "So, Cally, I see you have scraped up enough crew to pilot the Goldhawk. It's a pity that you don't have Avon around when you need him." "Avon's loss is none of your concern," she snapped. "Would you like to speak to the captain?" "Who is the captain, then? The girl? Or perhaps you're letting slaves captain your ships now. I have heard that the resistance is quite desperate these days." "Vila Restal is the captain of the Goldhawk." "Only a fool would believe that Vila Restal could command a ship." "Believe what you will. I am speaking the truth." "So Vila, you've finally got your own command. It's a pity it has to end so soon." He sneered. "Turn your ship over to me." I will never do that," Vila vowed. "Eye of Orion," Jaroslav Travis said. Vila flinched. "Just give me a moment to tell my crew good- bye." Jaroslav smiled. "Take three minutes. Then hand the Goldhawk over to me." "As you wish, Supreme Commander." He got up and went over to Cally. He bent down beside her. "Cut the communication." Cally did. "Are you surrendering the ship?" "Of course not!" "But you told Jaroslav Travis..." "I know what I told Jaroslav," Vila interrupted. "The fool doesn't realize that I can't stay conditioned." "When were you conditioned?" Paatrov asked. "After I was captured on Gauda Prime. I am supposed to follow any order blindly if I am told the key word." "So we're not surrendering," Tahdzee said. "Of course not, but we're also not going to sit around and wait to get blown out of the sky." "So what are we going to do?" "We are going to take the coward's way out; we're going to run. Bodan, how fast can the Goldhawk go?" *I have obtained speeds of standard by fourteen.* "Tahdzee, can you turn this thing one hundred and eighty degrees, say after we launch a volley of plasma bolts?" "Whenever you give the word," Tahdzee said. Vila sat down in the weapon's officers chair and started punching in figures. "Kerria, when I tell you, increase the speed of the Goldhawk to standard by twelve, then lay in a course back to Xiaodan." "Standard by twelve? I've never co-piloted at that speed." "Then it's about time you learn." Kerria nodded. "Yes sir." Tahdzee reached out and rubbed Kerria's hand. "It's all right. They won't catch us. The fastest one of the Feds can go is time distort nine. That's only standard by five."    There were moments like these that gave Jaroslav Travis a real feel of job satisfaction. He was on the flight deck of his command ship, waiting for Vila to finish telling his crew good-bye. Lieutenant Kyi looked up to him with her large ebony eyes. "What's taking them so long?" "Vila is sentimental," Jaroslav told her. "I'll give him a few more minutes." Jaroslav illo "Of course, sir," she said dutifully. He had looked at her personal file before, and had noted who her family had been. Resisters, all of them resisters. Her uncle had been part of the Freedom Party, and had been killed in the same raid that cost Travis his arm and his eye. Luckily Kyi had been only a small child, and was spared. She had only a bit of conditioning to make her loyal to the Federation. Of course the file wasn't truthful to one account; her uncle wasn't dead. No, he was still a resister, and ironically, his worst enemy. "Supreme Commander," she said, interrupting his thinking. "What is it, Lieutenant?" "The Goldhawk has fired a round volley of plasma bolts." "Raise defense shielding," he ordered as a plasma bolt rocked the ship. "Supreme Commander, the Goldhawk has disappeared." "You mean they've gone back into cloak." "No sir, I mean the Goldhawk is gone. I can't get it on the sensors." "Extend the detectors to wide coverage." Kyi did. The Goldhawk suddenly showed up on the screen. "You see, there they are, trying to escape." He turned to the mutoid pilot. "Pilot, plot an intercept course for the Goldhawk." "We cannot catch them at these speeds," the mutoid told him. "It doesn't matter. He can't keep those speeds up for long without draining his energy banks. He'll have to slow down, and when he does, we'll have them."    Avon watched Dayna pace around the med unit's lobby. "I don't like not knowing what's going on. I'm giving Vila two more minutes, then I'm going up there." "It increases our strength if Jaroslav Travis doesn't know we're alive," Avon told her. "If you go to the flight deck, he might find out." "I don't care. I don't like being left out." "You're not being left out." "How can you fight a battle without a weapons officer?" "Vila was the Liberator's weapons officer before you came aboard." She stopped. "He was? He never told me that." "He likes being thought of as a fool." "Vila isn't a fool," she said sharply. "We can't let him know that, it would spoil all the fun." "I still can't get over the fact that you and Vila are brothers." "He's Paatrov's brother. I don't claim him." Paatrov came into the med unit. "Am I missing anything?" "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the battle?" Dayna asked. "I'm the ship's doctor, this is my post, remember?" "The Goldhawk was fighting off Federation ships," Avon reminded him. "We were." "Who won?" Dayna demanded. "I'd call it a draw. We're running away. At the speeds we're going now, Jaroslav Travis won't be able to find us." "Jaroslav? How did he find us?" Avon demanded. "He's been following us since we rescued you." "While we were cloaked." "Yes, we were cloaked. Vila thinks that Jaroslav has found a way to see through the cloak." Avon didn't say anything. He grabbed a scalpel off a display and went into the room where Seato was recuperating. Seato lay propped up on pillows, reading a vis book. He looked up at Avon, who grabbed the book and threw it across the room, then sat on Seato and put the scalpel at his jugular vein. Seato's emerald eyes were terrified. "I was beginning to believe you were on our side," Avon hissed. "What are you doing?" Paatrov demanded, coming into the room. "What does it look like? I'm going to kill him." "Why?" "He betrayed us to the Federation." "How could I betray you? I've been locked up ever since we've been rescued," Seato told him. "What does that matter? We both know that you don't need any communications systems to contact Jaroslav Travis." "What do you mean?" Paatrov asked. "He's a telepath, remember?" "This is madness," Seato said calmly. "I would never betray the resistance. Never, especially to Jaroslav. He is evil." "So are you." "Then kill me," he said, stretching his neck so the blade could hit it better. "After I am dead, and Jaroslav finds you, you will believe me." "How will he be able to chase us after you're dead?" Paatrov asked. "There is a homing device implanted in a crew member. I don't know who. But I know the frequency that the transmitter is putting out. If you kill me, you'll never know who has it." "You are coming with me," Avon ordered. "You can't. He's still recovering from surgery," Paatrov said. "I can and I will. Traitors don't deserve to sit in comfort while we are battling the Federation." "I won't allow it." "There's nothing you can do." "That's what you think." Paatrov went over to the communication panel, and was shot in the back by Dayna. He fell to the floor with a thud. "Is he dead?" Avon asked emotionlessly. "No, I've only stunned him. He should be out for about thirty minutes," she said, stepping over his body. "Need some help carrying him?"    Seato was struck by all of this. Being held prisoner on a ship with a woman that looked like his dead wife, with people that should be his allies. But these people would never be his friends. They wanted him dead. Dayna had one of his arms, the good one, and Avon the other, the bandages and healing pads still attached it. Avon had his arm pulled behind his back; Seato could feel the newly mended bones strain, and the pain that had disappeared with the surgery was now back with a vengeance. "I still can't believe that Jaroslav Travis can see through our cloaking device," Mitra said as they came onto the flight deck. "Jaroslav Travis can't see though the Goldhawk's cloaking device," Avon said. "But he knew exactly where we were. He had to know." Her eyes settled on Seato. "He needs to be back in the med center." "Not yet. Seato has something to tell us," Avon said. He gave Seato's injured arm a twist and Seato gasped out in pain. "Don't you, Seato?" "Let him go," Vila said. "Why should I? This man is a traitor to the resistance. He's been telling Jaroslav exactly where we were. Aided of course by the homing device implanted in one of our crew." "Is this true, Seato? Did you really betray us?" Mitra asked. "I couldn't betray you. You're my sister. I would die before I betrayed you to the Feds," he said softly. "Yes, there is a homing device, but that isn't my fault. I only found out about it right before Tarrant's capture. Avon, if I were really Federation, why would I have told you about your homing device and where it was located?" "You wanted to lull us into believing you until you could sell the entire ship to Jaroslav Travis. You should do quite well, perhaps even get a promotion for it. Too bad you won't live long enough to receive it in person." Avon twisted Seato's arm again; the sound of it breaking could be heard across the room. Tears started pouring down his cheeks. "I didn't betray you." Cally got up. She went over to Avon and touched him gently on the shoulder. "Let him go." "This man is Jaroslav Travis' aide. He needs to be paid back for everything he put us though. How can you forgive him for what he did to you?" Avon told Cally. "He wasn't working for Jaroslav when we were his prisoners." "How can you be so sure?" "He is a very strong telepath. I would have felt a mind that strong. Neither was he on Glendron when Vila's hands where injured. Vengeance should be reserved for the guilty, not the innocent. Seato is innocent." "He's Federation." "Only to aid the resistance. If you kill him, you will be no better then Jaroslav Travis. You would have let your hatred rule your common sense." "You're right." Avon let go of Seato, and he fell to the ground, on his knees . He clutched his broken arm to his chest. Mitra went to his side. "Why didn't you tell us about the homing device before now?" "I thought your cloaking device had blocked the signal. Besides, I've been in solitary confinement most of the time, there hasn't been anyone to tell." "So our device hasn't blocked the signal?" "No, it didn't." "But I thought the cloaking device blocked out everything." "If the homing device was at the right frequency, the cloaks wouldn't affect it," Vila told her. "Can we disarm the device?" "Yes, it's possible. The device is implanted in you, Captain Restal, beside your translator." "How could I have a homing device in me?" Vila asked. "Were you ever a bartender?" "Yes, several years ago." "Before we went to Teal, I overheard Jaroslav tell Servalan that he had implanted a homing device in a bartender before he had him sold, so that if he ever escaped, he would be found. Jaroslav Travis said that he couldn't risk letting the bartender loose in the galaxy." "It will have to be taken out," Mitra said. "I can't give up my command. Tarrant left me in charge," Vila told her. "If you don't let Mitra take it out, there might not be a ship left to be in charge of," Avon said. "It will only take me a few minutes to take it out," Mitra said. "You're lying." "Would I do that to you, my bonded?" Vila stood up. "Dayna, I'm leaving you in charge of the Goldhawk until I get back. Don't, whatever you do, don't let Avon take command." "What about Seato?" It was Mitra who answered. She was stroking his scarlet hair. "We should let him go. He's proven his loyalty. It is us who should be ashamed."    "How did the surgery go?" Paatrov asked, coming into the recovery room. "Good, he held on like a trooper," Mitra said proudly. "Did you leave the translator in?" Vila asked. "Of course I did. I made you a promise didn't I?" Mitra asked. "Well, I thought you might have gone in and had to take it out." "Why are you leaving the translator in?" Paatrov asked. "How else will I ever be able to eavesdrop on everyone? Plus I wasn't looking forward to learning Namur again." "But you know how to speak it." "You never know when I could have started forgetting." "How is my brother?" Mitra asked. "He's recovering. If no one else tries to break his arm again, he should be fine." Paatrov paused. "Why did you put Dayna in charge of the Goldhawk?" "I trust Dayna." "More then Kerr." "The way he is now, yes." "Do you think he'll try and kill Seato again?" Mitra asked. "No, he'll probably be embarrassed after he calms down. Try and not hate him for what he did to Seato. The Federations put him though hell several times, he has a right to be bitter." "I will try, but I'm not too sure that I can." "I don't understand," Paatrov said. "How can you be so unforgiving of a man who would have killed someone that was already dead to you?" "People make mistakes. Vila is right. Anger can make you do things you would never do in your right mind. Like declare your only brother dead."    Seato lay on one of the med center beds, recovering from having his arm mended again. Avon walked into the room. "How are you feeling?" Seato looked up from the vis book he was reading. "I've been better." "What I have to say to you is not to go out of this room, do you understand?" "I understand completely," Seato said, sitting up. He wasn't going to be caught with his guard down. "As Jaroslav Travis' aide, you know that I was in Federation hands for over three years. In that time, both the woman I loved and I were tortured by him. He sold my closest friends, and caused the deaths of my sister-in-law, and several nieces and nephews when he dropped bombs containing plague viruses on the planet Xiaodan. I have never felt such bitterness towards anyone. I was never truly on the side of the resistance until recently. My anger towards people like Jaroslav blinded me to the fact that you were innocent, in fact you saved my life. I repaid that by trying to kill you and breaking your arm. I am sorry." Seato couldn't believe his ears, Avon apologizing to him? But he could feel that Avon was being sincere. "I can imagine what it looked like to you. To find that the Feds are following you, and have a telepath that had worked for Jaroslav Travis on your ship. What else could you think?" "So you understand?" "If the situations were reversed, who knows what I might have done?" "Yet, you saved my life." Mitra wouldn't forgive me if I hadn't." Seato felt something, as though he were being watched. He glanced around Avon. Mitra was standing in the doorway of his room. Just watching. "Hello Mitra." "May I speak to you?." "If you wish." She looked at Avon. "Alone." Seato looked at Avon. "You'd better go." "I'll be right outside. If anything happens, I can be here in a matter of seconds." "I'll be sure and remember that." Avon left, and Mitra closed the door behind him. "How are you doing? Is your arm still hurting?" "No, the pain is gone." "That's good. I don't like to see you in pain." "I thought you said I deserved my pain." "Things change. I've changed. I'm not the same woman that conducted the death ceremony for you. I know you hate me, but..." "I've never hated you," he interrupted her. "Please Mitra, stay." She came into the room, and put a bag on the bedside table. "When you told me you were leaving, all I could see was the fact that my only family would soon be gone. I couldn't see past that. I couldn't see that you were doing the right thing." "Did Vila order you to apologize to me?" "You don't know what I'm thinking, do you?" "Of course I don't." "But you always have." "I did, but our minds are no longer bonded. It was broken after the ceremony." Mitra took his hand and pressed it against her cheek. "Please, Seato, read me. Find the truth." He very slowly entered her mind. What he found was a deep loneliness similar to the one that he felt. There was no anger or hatred there, only the sadness and regret. He took his hand from her cheek. "I believe you." "Thank you. I'm still selfish aren't I?" "Why would you say that?" "Because I want my brother back." "You are not selfish, because if you were, I would be too. I would like you to be my sister once more. That is, if you'll take me." "I've been very proud of you." He smiled at this. "I won't ever leave you again. I promise." Mitra took out her knife and held it out to him. "I give myself to you for punishment." "I have forgiven you. There doesn't have to be any punishment." "There does," Mitra said. "My face must be scarred. It is the code." "I refuse." "Then honor will not be satisfied, and I will not truly be forgive. You must take my blood. I invoke the code on you." She had given him no other choice but to scar her. He took the knife. 'I will not scar your face. To destroy that great a beauty would be an affront to the gods." He took her arm and pulled the sleeve up on her uniform. He grabbed her wrist, and in one deft motion, cut her forearm deeply, leaving a cut at least two centimeters long and a half a centimeter thick. Blood immediately began to well up. He touched the blood and let it cover his hand. He touched his hand to his forehead, and then to his lips. Finally, he put his hand over his heart, leaving an imprint of his hand on his clothes. "You have taken my blood. I restore you to your honor. You are now Namur again," Mitra told him in Namur, the first time she had spoken the language to him since she had declared him dead. Seato took a roll of bandages off the bedside table. Carefully, he began to dress her arm. "Your friends will not understand Namur justice. They will think I tried to kill you." "I will explain it to them. They respect our ways." "I am sorry I had to hurt you." "It was the only way," she told him. "I have something for you." "You don't owe me anything." "I do." She took out two boxes from the sack that she had brought with her. She opened the largest one and took out a knife, holding it firmly in the Namur tradition, flat on both palms. She then turned to Seato and held it out to him. It was the knife that his wife had given him on their bonding day, one that she had handcrafted out of black and indigo beads. "Where did you get this?" "I found it in your quarters after you left. I saved it in case you came back. "You thought I would?" "I had hoped, dreamed." He took it from her, and took the knife out of its sheath. It had been polished and sharpened. He put the knife on his belt. She handed him the second box. He opened it to find it full of the beads that he had spent his life earning before he joined this mission. "I threw these away after my hair was cut." "I took them out of the trash. I thought you would want them if you became Namur again." "I can't believe you saved these." "They were your honor. You worked hard to earn them. You couldn't just throw them away." "I can't wear them. My hair's too short," he said, embarrassed. "Your hair will grow, it's only a matter of time." She touched his hair. "It's almost shoulder length. I could use extenders and make your hair long enough for cornrows." "I'm not good at doing things like that." "I will do it for you," she volunteered. "By the end of this day, you will look Namur again."    "You wanted to talk to me, Tarrant?" Vila asked, coming into Tarrant's med unit room. He had been told that Tarrant had finally become well enough to leave, but he had refused to. And since it was his ship, no one had the authority to throw him out. "Come sit down, Vila." Vila pulled up a chair and sat. "What do you need?" "Would you like to be captain of the Goldhawk, permanently?" "You're kidding," Vila gasped. "I've never been so serious in my life. I would rather give up the ship to someone I trust than have it given to some stranger." "Why do you think it will be taken from you?" "It will once Blake finds out what happened to me." "As you have told us so many times, this is your ship, no one can take it from you," Vila reminded him. "But what about a crew? I must have a crew, and do you think anyone would follow me after this?" "Why wouldn't they?" "Because I've been broken!" Tarrant almost shouted. "Why didn't anyone kill me when they found out? Why didn't you kill me?" "Because you're my friend," Vila told him. "If we killed everyone on this ship who's been broken, you wouldn't have a crew left." "Jaroslav knows everything about the resistance now." "It wasn't your fault." "Don't humor me, Vila. I know it's my fault," Tarrant almost whispered. "Gods, Cally can hold out for a year, and me? I couldn't even hold out for two days. Why wasn't I stronger?" "Did you resist?" "Of course I resisted, but it didn't matter." "But no matter how much you resisted, you found yourself talking," Vila interrupted. "How did you know?" "I helped design interrogation machines. I've seen what those machines do to a person. Especially the mindsifter. It rapes your subconscious mind. You were very lucky. Not many survive the sifter. Especially if they resist." "Do you really call this surviving?" "You're a survivor. You're strong. If you give in to your guilt, then Jaroslav Travis has won." "Jaroslav has already won. He has everything I know about the resistance," Tarrant reminded him. "No, he doesn't." Vila took two microdisks out of his tunic pocket. "These are the only remaining record of your interrogation. I had Orac go through Jaroslav Travis' records and he didn't find anything. So this is it." "Have you read it?" "No, and I won't until you let me." "How long did it take you to recover from the mindsifter?" Tarrant asked. "Which time do you mean?" "You've been though it more then once?" "The first time I was twelve years old." "Why would the Federation put you through that at twelve?" "They put me through it after my parents' arrest. My parents were members of the Freedom Party. At the time, my mother was the leader of the party. My father was a college professor, and a poet. He wrote poems that the Federation said incited the population to resist. My parents where wonderful, and the Federation tried to take their memories away." "But you remembered." "The doctors would condition me, it would work for a few weeks, then wear off. It always wore off. They decided that I would be a risk, and conditioned my brothers to forget me. In their minds they never had a brother named Sasha." "Sasha, is that your real name?" "Yes, it was, but Sasha Avon is dead. The other times I was put through the mindsifter were when I was deported to Cygnus Alpha, after Gauda Prime, and after I tried to run away from my slavery." "I can't believe you survived all of that." "I'm here, aren't I? Though to be perfectly honest, I was nothing more then a walking corpse when you found me. But Mitra and Paatrov helped me, and I think I'll be fine now." "So you don't want to die?" "Why should I? Because I betrayed the resistance? When they got the information from me, it was already too late. The war that I was helping with had been won. I found that life was worth living again." "Can I have my confession?" Vila handed it to him. "Let me see your blaster." "Promise you won't kill yourself?" "Yes, I promise." Vila handed him the blaster; he put the confession on the ground, and shot it. He watched it go up in smoke. He felt like a great weight had been lifted from him. Paatrov ran into the room. "I thought I heard a shot." "You did," Tarrant told him, getting out of bed. "I was killing my past." Kasabi by Melissa Mastoris I remember you as a student, Vain and shallow, Caring only about yourself And the power, not the responsibilities That it must bring. I gave you the lowest recommendation I could, but I can see That my censure Didn't even hinder your progress. A power mad woman unfit for command. You shouldn't be where you are today, Supreme Commander, and you won't stay If Blake can stop you. My death doesn't matter If in the end a woman As unfit as you is brought down. For that to happen I'm more than willing To die. Pretty Lady by Melissa Mastoris I remember the first time I saw you, Standing over Blake, a gun in your hand, And such a hard look on your lovely face. I didn't think you'd actually join us, But you're as wanted as we are now, And you didn't have anywhere else to go. Auron abandoned you, and left you Silent, and all alone. I remember wishing I could put a smile On your somber face. But now, it's too late. Thanks to Servalan, All I have left is the memory Of your sad Auron eyes. Your last scream echoes in my ears, And all I can do now is wish I had saved you, Pretty lady.