Super Sentai BistroRangers. By Kyoko Godaikun With help from SentaiDave Note: These people do not belong to me. You have got to be kidding if you think they do. Archiving: Fanfiction.net and Katrinka's page only. Everyone else must ask permission. Summary: A/U. The members of SMAP are singing chefs. They become BistroRangers. They fight the evil ShadowRangers who are members of Johnny's various groups. This story is meant to be silly. In the kitchens of Bistro Chef, there where four brightly colored chefs. Today was a special day. The famous Bistro was going to be visited by the extremely renowned kitchen critic. The four chefs were very nervous. This critic was famous for destroying restaurants. Leaving only the rubble of destroyed careers in his wake. The Green chef was the strongest of the group. His name was Shingo. He was tall and strong and liked to pick up Goro. "Hey! Put me down!" Yelled the Blue Chef. His name was Goro-Chan. He was shy and mild mannered. He also received the frequent attentions of Shingo. At the moment, Shingo had thrown him over his shoulder, and was spinning around. Kimura, the bravest of the Chefs as he was the Red chef said. "Wait to do that until oshi time!" "Oh you're no fun!" Shingo put down the helpless Goro-Chan. "Are you all right?" Tsuyoshi, the yellow chef asked. 'Why does he always have to pick me up?" Goro-Chan said. "Cause you're the prettiest of us all." The blue one tweaked him on the nose. "I'm not pretty!" Goro-Chan stomped his foot. "We have to be careful today." Kimura reminded them. "There is a seventy-five percent chance that monsters will attack Tokyo." "Monsters are always attacking Tokyo." Tsuyoshi said brightly. "We have Kamen Rider, Ultraman, Sentai, Mothra, Gamera and Godzilla to fight them." "Too bad the superheroes are all at the yearly superhero convention." Shingo said. "All of our heroes are in Hawaii." "Oh great, we're doomed!" Goro-Chan groaned. Suddenly there was a loud bell! Then the unmistakable voice of Nakai, the owner of the Bistro yelled. "Order! Oishi Udon!" "Yeah!" The four chefs roared. They each ran to their stove and began to cook. ***************** An hour later, the four chefs brought their food to the waiting critic. The critic was the extremely evil mad scientist Dr. Domoto, who had cleaverly put on glasses to fool everyone into believing that he wasn't evil. His henchman Ko-chan had also put on glasses, but that was simply because he had lost his contacts. When asked who had the best food, he said that the floor served better then the members of SMAP. Then announced, while the food was good, it was time to attack Tokyo. Then he ran out of the restaurant without paying his bill. The hapless Ko-chan following. "What are we going to do?" Wailed Tsuyoshi. "We have no superheroes." 'That is not true!" Boomed a voice from on high. "The superhero power has been yours all along." "Who are you?" Kimura asked. "YES!" The voice told him. "I am who. Now call upon your powers to heshin into superheroes!" "What powers?" Shingo asked. "Call upon the sacred powers of the bistro. Buy shouting out the color you are, and bistro, you will become a superhero!" "A superhero?" Tsuyoshi asked. "Yes! A superhero!" "We can't be superheroes, we're singing chefs." Goro-Chan said. "What about Kikaider?" Kimura pointed out. "He sang and was a superhero!" "Yeah, and Kamen Rider V3, and BlueGo did the same thing!" Nakai reminded them. There was a loud crash as someone evil attacked the city. "Will you dorks hurry up and heshin so that the city may be saved?" Who demanded. "We still don't think we're superheroes!" Kimura said. "Try it, you'll like it!" Who tempted. "Green Bistro!" Yelled Shingo. Suddenly a flash, and Shingo had changed into the green BistroRanger. "Cool! Can I play with your spachula sword?" Tsuyoshi asked. "No! It's mine!" Shingo said, skipping around the room. Suddenly the Gold BistroRanger appeared. "Who are you? And don't say yes!" Yelled Kimura. The man took off his helmet. It was Mori! "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you baka's to realize you have super powers?" "You're not in Smap anymore." Nakai reminded him. "Yeah, but every Super Sentai show has a sixth ranger!" Mori reminded them. "And since I'm not busy anymore, I got stuck with it!" "Okay, but..." Goro said. "Will you guy shut up and morph!" Mori demanded. "Tokyo is being attacked." "Why should I care if Tokio the group is being attacked?" Tsuyoshi asked. "If there is no more Tokio we can sell more cds." That made the four other members of Smap bop Tsuyoshi on the head. "Let's do it!" Kimura ordered. The group morphed, except for Nakai. Who just stood there. "WHy didn't you morph?" Asked Goro-Chan. "I don't have a color, I am the owner!" "Oh, but you do have a color." Mori said. "You have the sacred color of Pink." "I am not a girl!" Nakai said. "Not pink as in girls, but pink as in pink movies!" Mori said. "Oh I like pink movies!" Nakai said, as he morphed. ********************* The evil ShadowRangers where attacking Tokyo. The Aqua Ranger, also known as Ken of V6 had his own evil reason to attack Tokyo. For he was a far better singer then Kimura, and was sick of everyone thinking he was imitating him. The Brown Ranger Tomoya Nagase was attacking Tokyo because he didn't just want to be the leader of Tokio, but of the city of Tokyo as well. He also knew his costume was far better then the other ShadowRangers. The Dark Red Ranger, Jun Matsumoto thought it might be fun to take over Tokyo. The Lilac Ranger on the other hand was still quite miffed that Johnny's wouldn't let him team with his best friend as a new group. He would have his revenge on all of Japan. Then perhaps they would let the happy pair work together as it was meant to be. Ko-chan was the Orange ShadowRanger, mostly because Dr. Domoto had talked him into agreeing. Last but not least was Dr. Domoto Tsuyoshi. He was the Silver Ranger. He wanted to take over Tokyo because he was sick being mistaken for the Smap Tsuyoshi, and besides, he was just plain evil! They walked through Ginza district, blasting everyone they could find with their evil revenge weapons. None of the weapons killed anyone, just made them evil. "Stop it right there!" Yelled a voice. "Who dares interrupt our evil plans?" Dr. Domoto demanded. "Look!" Jun yelled. "It's the Iron Chef Rangers!" "We're not the Iron Chef Rangers!" The ranger who was dressed in Pink said. "Oh look, a pink ranger!" Tomoya smiled. "Hey girl, want to go out? I can show you the wonders of the dark side." "I wouldn't go out with you even if you where the last evil person on Earth." Nakai thundered. "Besides, I'm a boy!" "But a pink boy!" Ko-chan bounced up and down and clapped his hands. "Why didn't you tell us you where gay!" "I'm pink as in pink movies! The movies with the pretty girls!" "Okay! That's enough!" The Red BistroRanger said. "Lay down your guns and no one will get hurt!" Ken of V6 shot him with his Aqua gun. "Now you're evil." The BistroRanger rolled his eyes. "And you think that will work on me?" "Of course, it works on everyone. You are now evil!" "And your point?" Kimura asked. "Join our side!" Dr. Domoto said. "Enjoy being evil." "No! I've always been evil. But I work with my friend. I don't destroy Tokyo." "Hey, isn't it time for us to get out our Giant Robots?" Jun asked. "No, we have to fight, look like we are destroyed, and then get out the robots." Tomoya said. "But I don't want to be destroyed." The dark Red ShadowRanger ran to the BistroRanger side, and hid behind the yellow BistroRanger. "My best friend will simply die if I get killed!" The Lilac ShadowRanger ran and hid behind the blue BistroRanger. "Hey! You can't do that!" Dr. Domoto yelled. "Sure we can!" Jun yelled. "Yeah, we watch SuperSentai. We know what happens to the bad guys!" Jun said. "BOOM we die! I am too cute to die!" "Yeah, he's too cute to die!" Goro-Chan agreed. "He's almost as cute as me." "I don't want to die either!" Ko-chan decided. He ran and hid behind Jun. "I'm even prettier then Goro-Chan. The world cannot be denied my beauty." "Ko-chan! Get back here!" Dr. Domoto ordered. "NO!" he stuck his tongue out at the other Kinki Kid. "Get them to safety!" Kimura ordered. "Hai!' Yelled the yellow BistroRanger. He led the three deserters away. Just then, as on cue, the Golden BistroRanger joined the group. "You're outnumbered. Will you give up?" "Hey, there are only five members of SMAP. How can you have a sixth?" "We're not telling you that!" Mori insisted. "Get out the giant robots." Dr. Domoto ordered. "Hum boss?" Ken asked. "Well?" "We where in such a hurry to conquer Tokyo, we didn't exactly make any giant robots." Tomoya pointed out. "Then there is only one thing we can do?" "What’s' that?" "Run away!" Dr. Domoto turned and ran as fast as he could. Ken raised his hands. "I give up! Beat me and torture me! I want to be beaten and tortured!" "Wimp!" Tomoya shot him in the back, then ran away. "We won!" Shingo yelled. He grabbed Goro-Chan and picked him up. The he began to run around the street. "Not again!" Goro-Chan smiled. The rest of the BistroRangers laughed.