Title - A Chance to Remember (3/4) Story six In the Doors and Walls Universe Author - Katrinka Authors Email: Katrinka@flash.net Rating - R Classification - MSR Spoilers - Requiem Timing: This story takes place three days after Reflections in the Waves Keywords - A/U what if Archiving Gossamer, Ephemeral, and LEGACY only. Any other archiving must have authors express permission first. I will probably give it! Feedback: Please give this author some feedback! Even a line Stating "I like this" or "I hated this" is welcome. Authors note: In this story, Mulder and Scully deal with becoming Tomorrow People, but it is not a crossover. Summary: After returning to work, Scully must deal with her amnesia. Mulder must make the hardest choice in his life. *********** Leaving Scully at the clinic had been one of the hardest things that Mulder had done in his life. The way Scully had asked him to kiss her. For a brief instant, as they kissed, he could feel *his* Scully again. The Dana Scully who had briefly been his lover. The woman he would have given his life to save hers. Then another woman appeared she too was named Dana Scully. This woman had no memories of the past year. She was like his lover, but different at the same time. The difference bothered him. *Scully's no longer mine. * He reminded himself. Mulder decided he needed to run. Let his body move as his mind forgot. He went home, changed into his running clothes, then grabbed his tape player. Music would drown out his thoughts of his lover. It would take the dreams that haunted his nights away. Mulder turned on the music, and began to run. After thirty minutes, he realized music wasn't working. He had grabbed his Styx CD. Every song made him think of Scully. *My lover. * "She's no longer my lover." He reminded himself out loud. *Perhaps I should leave until I can get over her. * *I'm not sure I can get over Scully. * He admitted. *She means too much to me. * "Why does this have to happen to me?" A friend of Mulder's came around the corner. Byers had the stride of an experienced runner. Mulder knew that his friend ran, but not in this neighborhood. His friend usually went somewhere more exotic to exercise. Places were no one would find him. Byers stopped in front of Mulder. "How's the running?" "Are you following me?" Mulder asked suspiciously. "No, I'm not." "This is no were near were you usually run." Mulder snapped. "You like to run on islands not inhabited by humans." "If I did that all the time, it would get boring." Byers shrugged. "Sometimes I find it nice to run with people around." "Who sent you?" "No one sends me anywhere. You should know that by now." "You're checking up on me." Byers sighed. "When did you stop trusting me?" "Probably about the time I found out about your knowing me in my past." Mulder couldn't' keeps the pain out of his voice. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" "Because you wouldn't have believed me." Byers watched a woman walk past them. "This isn't the place to talk about this." "Where do you want to go?" "Your place is closer." Byers began to run in the direction of Mulder's apartment. ****************************** Mulder took Byers to his apartment. It no longer felt as if it was truly his. Scully's presence had changed the apartment from a place he simply stayed at, into their home. Scully was gone. The presence had changed, now all he had was memories. "So tell me, how long will it be until you leave?" Byers asked. "What do you mean?" Mulder grabbed a sports drink out of the refrigerator and sat down. "This situation reminds you too much of other pains in the past." Byers shrugged. "It's only a matter of time until you run from it." "I don't run out on things." Mulder said firmly. "What about Scully? You're running out on her." "I'm still her partner, nothing's changed." Byers brushed past Mulder and went into the bedroom. He came back a few moments later with the box of Scully's things. Byers threw the box so that it landed only a few inches from Mulder's feet, the contents spilling onto the floor. "Nothing's changed? It hasn't even been a week, and you packed up her things!" "What does a week matter?" Mulder shouted. "Scully needs your faith. Which means you have to stay with her. You're her lover!" "I can't stay with her! I can't be Scully's lover, not now!" "If you're gone, who will help Scully get her memories back?" Byers countered. "Who says my staying will get her memories back?" Mulder demanded. "It's been over 20 years, and I still can't remember!" "Remember what?" Byers said calming down. "Those bastards that took Scully's memories also took mine!" Mulder couldn't keep the pain out of his voice. "If I can't remember, why should she?" "Has Scully remembered anything?" "That's not the point! Her memories are gone. Our relationship is destroyed. No matter how hard I try, I'll never get her back." tears stung Mulder's eyes. "You don't know that." "I have to face reality. For Scully's sake." The pain welled up in him until he thought it would burst. The tears began to flow. Loosing Scully hurt the pain even more sharp then a cut. It would take years for his soul to heal. His partner, his lover, all Mulder wanted was his lover back. Byers sat down beside him, and took him into his arms. Mulder accepted his friend's touch. *I've lost her, John. Oh god I lost her. How can I deal with the pain? * Mulder telepathed. "The same away I learned to accept the loss of my best friend." Byers said softly. "I always hoped that you would remember me." "How can you stand to be my friend if I can't remember part of our friendship?" "It wouldn't be fair to punish you for that." Byers paused. "You are punishing Scully for what happened to her." "How can you say that?" "Scully needs you to help her get her memories back." "I can't do that." Mulder whispered. "Then the person your hurting is Scully, not yourself." Byers pointed out. "How can I pretend that she's not my lover?" "You can't." Byers said simply. "I talked to Scully. She knows she lived with you. She has some memories of your being there. She loves you, what else do you need?" "She needs her memories." "No, you need her memories. All Scully needs is you." "What if she never remembers?" "Then she'll still have you, and that's enough." Byers said firmly. *********************** *We want you to see your children before they are disposed of. * The alien told Scully. Two aliens pushed a stretcher into the room, then they turned and left. Using all of her strength Scully got out of bed, and walked to the stretcher. It hurt to walk. It hurt to do most anything now. The wounds from the latest experiment too fresh. This set of multi-births had only been born that morning. The aliens wanted to see just how many multi-births a woman could endure. Scully had spent the past five years constantly pregnant with fetuses implanted by the aliens. Scully steadied herself against the side of the stretcher and looked down. The twins lay fully dressed. They were little over five years old. They looked like they were sleeping. Both children had close-cropped hair. There were scars on the sides of their heads. The aliens had experimented on them. She reached out, touching the girl's hand. It was icy cold. She had let the aliens use her in any way they wished, in return, the aliens promised her that the babies would be safe. Tears stung her eyes. The aliens had lied to her. She now knew that her usability to the aliens was at an end. She too would die soon. *I'm so sorry. * She told them, as tears stung her eyes. Scully was the mother of many, many children given to her by the aliens. She was the mother of only two by choice. These two she was able to see and mother. They were her only ties to Mulder, now they were dead. *You look so much like your father. * Scully told her children. *Mulder would have loved you as much as I did. * The aliens came into the room. *It is time for you to return to Earth. * "Yes, I see." Scully said. The scene shifted, Scully was in a hospital bed, attached to monitors. Mulder sat by her bed. He watched the instruments, then suddenly everything flatlined. Mulder ran into the hallway to get help. The doctors tried all they could to save Scully, but it was too late. Mulder watched Scully die. The dreams came again, interrupting Mulder's sleep. He got off of the couch and went into the kitchen. Perhaps some hot milk would make him sleepy. Mulder took the milk out of the refrigerator, poured some into a cup, and put the cup in the microwave. He set the timer. This dream had been more troubling then the dreams before. Guilt washed over Mulder. *The babies, Scully dead, because of me. * Byers walked into the kitchen. "Can't sleep?" "I had a bad dream." Mulder admitted. The machine beeped, Mulder took the cup out of the microwave, and went into the living room. He sat down on the couch. "What kind of dream?" Byers sat beside him. "A nightmare, you wouldn't understand." "It was about the future, wasn't it?" Byers guessed. Mulder looked at his friend in surprise. "How did you know that?" "Before the implant, you used to have dreams. The dreams always came true." Mulder put the cup on the table. "Not this dream. It can't come true." "What was the dream about?" "I've been having dreams about the future. I went willingly to a place where I knew I would be abducted. It would protect Scully, our children...." "This dream was different, wasn't it?" "Much different. I didn't support Scully in getting her memories back. When I went to Oregon, she insisted on going with me. The aliens captured her. Twins-our children," Mulder tried to gather his thoughts. "The aliens used Scully as in incubator. When they finally returned her, they killed the twins. Scully died soon after her return." "When does this abduction take place?" "A few days, not more then two weeks." "Has Scully told you she's pregnant?" Byers asked. "No, she doesn't know yet. She finds out the day I'm abducted." "What are you going to do?" "I'll have to do everything in my power to keep Scully from being abducted." Mulder vowed. "They could kill you." His friend reminded him. "You can't put all your trust in dreams, or aliens." "The dreams have told me enough. It's me or Scully and our children." Mulder picked up the cup, and drained it. "I'm not worth sacrificing three lives for." "Scully might not agree with that." "It's not Scully's choice, it's mine." Mulder said firmly. "I have to help Scully get her memories back." *************************** Scully had called Mulder, telling him. "It's me." Reminding Mulder so much of the days before they had become lovers. She hadn't asked him to pick her up, she only told him she was going to be released. Mulder decided that he needed to pick her up. He wouldn't worry so much about her if he knew Scully was safe. *I'm going to have to face her. * Mulder thought as he walked the steps to the clinic. *The future's coming closer, and I can't do anything about it. * *I have to stay strong for Scully. * *I need to save her life. * He waited for the Monk to get her. He watched for her in the hallway. Finally she arrived, wearing jeans and a light gray polo shirt. She carried her overnight case in her hands. He was glad to see her. Mulder didn't realize how much he had missed her even over three days. Mulder walked to her, taking her over night case from her hands. "How do you feel Lady?" he tried to keep the worry out of his voice. "Better." "Do you want me to take you home?" he asked. "If you want." She said a bit sadly. Mulder reached out, touching her cheek. "Your place or mine?" "Yours." "I've always thought of it as our home. It hasn't been the same without you." Mulder waited a second, waiting for the skeptical Scully to make it's appearance. "I don't know if I'll remember anything." His partner seemed nervous. "You don't have to." Mulder smiled. "I want this Dana Scully to come home with me." "What if the other Scully doesn't come back?" "Then I still have you." His fingers caressed her cheek. "Take me home." Scully smiled. *********************** Mulder had changed in the time Scully was in the clinic. She caught him watching her, his eyes sad. In the drive home, Mulder had touched her more then the two days before she had entered the clinic. *The way he's acting, we must have spent most of our off hours in bed. * Scully thought. *I wish I could remember our past together. * *Hsui Tai told me to give it time. I have to give our relationship the time it needs to heal. * *I can't rush things. * Walking into Mulder's apartment gave Scully cold chills. Glimmers of memories filled her mind, as she followed Mulder into the bedroom. The memories more like ghosts then anything else. Scully ran her hand over the bed, nothing. She tried touching the dresser, nothing. "What do you feel?" There was hope in Mulder's voice. "Nothing." Tears stung her eyes. "Oh my god, it's never coming back." Mulder reached out, wiping the tears from her cheek. "It's okay, don't try." The helplessness welled up in Scully, until she felt like it would burst. The tears came. "I can't remember. You won't take me back unless I can remember." "That's not true." Mulder pulled Scully into his arms. This time the touch was warm, welcoming. "What happens if I never remember?" "We still have each other." Mulder promised. "I was afraid, I had some secrets that you found out and understood about. This time, you might not. I might loose you." "They can't be that bad." Scully said lightly. "It's not like you were married to Fowley, or anything." Mulder pulled away from his partner. For an instant, Scully could see the pain in Mulder's eyes. Then he went into the living room. She could hear the sound of the television come on, then Mulder watching something in a strange language. So that was it, Mulder had once been married to Fowley. Scully's rational mind told her that there must be some kind of explanation. Her emotions told her something different. She wanted to go in the living room and demand that Mulder tell her why he kept his marriage a secret. *There has to be a good reason. I accepted it before." Scully picked up her over night case, and set it on the dresser. She began to take things out. A lipstick rolled out, and landed in a slightly opened drawer. Scully opened the drawer, and began to look for the lipstick. In the corner, her fingers hit something metallic. Scully took the object out of the drawer. It was the ring that Mulder had always wore around his neck. For an instant, she could see through Mulder's eyes. Mulder was visiting Diana while she was stationed in Europe. She hadn't picked Mulder up at the airport. It had happened before; Mulder didn't think much of it. He would put the bags in the bedroom, then go find his wife. He could hear Diana's laugh from down the hallway. He walked towards the bedroom. Then stood staring at what he saw. For his wife was in bed with two men. Diana looked at Mulder. She smiled at him. "Join us." "Not in your life." With that, Mulder turned and left. Other things too, Scully had wanted to see Diana's grave. Mulder hadn't wanted to go, but went because she asked. He had cried afterwards, and gotten very drunk. Scully spent the night with him, simply holding her friend. Scully was suddenly back in the bedroom. The feelings of pain and hurt that the object held were too much for her. She put the ring back in its hiding place. The anger that she felt towards Mulder was gone. Mulder was alone, and hurting. He needed her. She went into the living room. Mulder was sitting on the couch, staring at some movie in an Eastern European language. "What are you watching?" She asked as she sat beside him. Mulder didn't look up. "Something on the Baltic channel." "I'm sorry I mentioned Diana." "You didn't know." Mulder shrugged. "I should have known." "How?" there was pain in Mulder's voice. "I should have told you. I just didn't know how." "How long were you married to her?" "Legally? Way too long. She disappeared before I could file for divorce. I didn't divorce her without her knowing. She could have used it against me." Mulder's voice was very soft. "Diana granted me the divorce soon after she came back into my life." "How long did you live with her?" "About a year. Then Diana was transferred to Europe. I visited her a few times. Something happened, and I knew that we would never be together." Mulder's voice became even softer. "Now you know. Are you going to leave?" "Do you want me to leave?" *No, * he telepathed. "I don't want to leave either." Scully had an overwhelming urge to kiss her partner. She decided to give into that urge. Mulder seemed surprised as she kissed him. He stiffened for a brief second, and then he signed as he opened himself to the kiss. Memories overcame Scully. She could remember Mulder telling her about Diana for the first time. She could remember breaking her ankle; she could remember the concern Mulder had for her. Then Mulder was holding her; "We have to take this slowly." "Every time you kiss me, I remember something else." "Those are my memories, not yours." He pointed out. "I'm giving you my memories." "You can't really tell me that I'm seeing the memories through your eyes? If that's true, why do I see those memories through my eyes? Why do I have my feelings as I experience them?" "It's too easy. Getting your memories back through kissing." His hands caressed her back. "I wonder what would happen if we made love?" "No Scully." Mulder's breath was gentle against her forehead. "We'll make love when you decide it's time, not when you think it will make your memories come back." "Mulder..." "I want our relationship to go on for fifty years, not just one night." There was pain in Mulder's voice. "I don't want our love making to simply be some quest for a miracle cure. I want us to be together because we both want it." "That makes sense." Scully admitted. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight." He told her softly. "If you want." "It's not something I want, it's something I have to do." Mulder whispered. **********************