Title - Voices of the Mind 
Author - Katrinka
Authors Email: Katrinka@flash.net
Rating - G part one, NC-17 part two
Classification - MSR
Spoilers - The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati
WARNING: Part two contains consensual S&M
Keywords - A/U what if
Sequel to Doors and Walls and Shadows of the Mind
Archiving Gossamer, Ephemeral, and LEGACY only. Any other archiving must
have authors express permission first. I will probably give it!
Summary - Scully's life changes forever while she has a desk job.

Mulder was running late. As he drove to work, Skinner called, telling the agent to stop by his office as soon as Mulder arrived at work. Mulder wanted to tell Skinner that he needed to meet Scully at the doctors. Today was the day she would finally get her cast off. Skinner didn't want to hear it. He needed to talk to Mulder now, not after some Doctor's appointment. After arriving at the office, his superior made him wait for over an hour. 

*I must be in real trouble. * Mulder thought. *Skinner never makes me wait this long unless something's wrong. *

"Your late," Skinner snapped as Mulder came into his office.

"Sorry sir." Mulder said puzzled. *You're the one that made me wait. *

"Sit down Agent Mulder." Skinner ordered. 

Mulder did as he was told, sitting in the chair directly across from his superior's desk. It didn't take a psychic to see that he was annoyed. "What did I do this time?"

"I have been going over your records. In the past month, your rating has dropped by 75 percent." 

"What do you mean, sir?"

"Your reports aren't turned in on time. When they are turned it, they are full of misspellings and factual errors."

"Sir?" Mulder asked puzzled.

"Let me show you. Here, on page 5 of the Bayouth report, you stated that the suspected terrorist was a thespian."

"The suspect's profession is his own choice."  

"*He* is Lebanese, and a teacher!" 

"It was a typo." Mulder felt like going back to his office and kicking his new word processing program. "I have a new spell check that AutoCorrect. It must have made the changes."

"You really want me to believe that you are so careless that you didn't even read the report before turning it in?" Skinner demanded.

"I was busy, sir."

"All agents are busy!" Skinner thundered. "You made that error 19 times in a 12 page report. You also called the suspect a preacher instead of a teacher."

"I'm sorry sir." 

"Sorry won't cut it. Do you have a good reason why this kind of inadequacy is in one of your reports?"

"No sir, I don't."

"Consider this a formal oral reprimand." Skinner shoved the report towards Mulder. "You have until 5 PM tonight to correct this report."

"Yes sir." Mulder took the report from Skinner.

"If this kind of behavior continues, you will give me no choice but recommend that you be censored." Skinner warned.

"I'll do better from now on." Mulder promised.



*****************

Mulder arrived at his office at 10:00. Scully was at her desk, working on a pile of paperwork. Her crutches where lying on the floor beside the chair. Mulder could feel that she was annoyed that Mulder hadn't been there for the appointment. 

"I'm sorry to be late." Mulder apologized. "Skinner needed to talk to me."

"About what?" His partner asked.

"I was given an oral warning. My efficiency rating's gone down." he tried to explain.

"Any reason?" 

*I no longer have you with me. * Mulder thought. "My new word processor has some bugs."

"That doesn't sound like you, blaming a work processor for human error." Scully picked up another file. "What else did he say?"

"He told me that I'm not acting responsible. I'm driving him crazy" 

"Haven't you always driven him crazy?" Scully moved her leg. For the first time, Mulder saw her new cast. He was surprised she had another one. Not after Scully had told him she would have the cast taken off.

"So what color's this one?" Mulder asked as he looked at pale gray cast. *Why can't I tell you that I'm worried? *

"Red." Scully didn't look up from her paperwork. 

"Good color." Mulder sat down at his desk. "How long do you have to keep this one on?"

"Like always, three weeks." 

*Why did the doctor put you in another cast? * Mulder wondered. *This is the third. *

"It's not healing. He's giving me three more weeks, or I will have to have surgery." 

"Want me to get you some coffee?" he asked. 

"Sure," 

Mulder went to the coffee maker. He had brought it soon after Scully had returned to work. He poured her a mug, and added the two packets of artificial sugar and a dollop of rice milk. He then brought the coffee to his partner. He put the cup on the desk in front of her. 

"I've got a present for you."

"What's that?" 

Mulder took the name plaque out of his pocket. He set it on Scully's desk, in front of her coffee cup. "I'll let you get back to your paperwork."

Scully sat the pen down; she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. "I'm tired of paperwork."

"Paperwork's so fun."

"No, it's torture. Do you know the kind of mess your files are in?"

Mulder tried to smile. "I thought I kept good files."


"Yeah, for the Lone Gunmen, but can you honestly say that you're good at keeping files?" Scully sounded very annoyed. 

"I'm no Eddie Von Blundht in the area of paper work?" Mulder said softly. He turned to go back to his desk. 

Scully grabbed his hand. Her fingers caressed his knuckles. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I was frustrated when the doctor said I needed another cast." 

"I'm pretty frustrated myself." Mulder confessed. "I'm tired of going on cases by myself."

"I thought you would like my not doubting everything."

"I need you to be there to keep my sane." Mulder smiled. "I bring Byers with me for company sometimes, but it's not the same. It's not you."

Scully picked up the plaque. "Special Agent Dr. Dana Scully' that's very nice."

"I'm glad you like it. Do you want me to put it on the door?"

Scully handed it to him. "Sure."

Mulder opened up the door to the office. He knew he had broken their rule about sneaking presents into the other's place. This he hoped would make Scully smile. She hadn't, instead she put her glasses back on, and went back to her paperwork. 

**********
 

 Mulder had begged for time to think after reveling his feelings for Scully. He wasn't ready for a new love. Scully hadn't pressed their relationship. In doing so, it seemed to free Mulder. He was now doing nice, romantic things for her without even the thought of anything in return. He had bought her a coffeepot, had hand picked Mocha coffee beans for her. When he came into the office, he always made the coffee for her. Grinding the beans himself. At least twice a week she would find a single flower in a vase on her desk. 

Even a child could have seen the changes in Mulder. He's brooding had stopped. Now he smiled a lot. It seemed like every time he had to ask her something; he was wearing a goofy grin.
"There's another Iron Chef marathon. You want to have a little wager?"

Scully looked up to him. Again, the child-like grin. "Sure, why not?"

"Your place or mine?"

"Yours," she said without hesitation. *It's easier to get around at your place. *

"Want to come over tonight, or tomorrow?"

"Might as well go home with you. Gives me a better chance to win this time."

"In your dreams." The smile grew broader. Mulder picked up a sheaf of paper. "I need to give a report to Skinner. "I'll be right back."

Scully watched Mulder leave. She could feel his mind touching hers, for a brief instant, like a gentle kiss. Scully hadn't told Mulder that she could feel his touches. She wouldn't. "If he finds out...."

Scully could hear people thinking she wasn't sure when it happened. She was pretty sure that it happened right before Valentines Day. The first time that she felt Mulder living vicariously though her mind. It always lasted for thirty minutes to an hour. Most of the time he would just visits, looking at colors. When she realized that he was fascinated by colors he had never seen before, she went out of her way to do things that involved those colors. Afterwards, she would feel the thoughts of others. That wouldn't last long, only an hour or so after Mulder had left her mind.

*Why can't I tell you the truth? *

*You'd understand. *

Scully turned to the pile of folders. Her time off of street work had given her time to get the X-Files records in order. Mulder had a horrid tendency of sticking evidence in files marked cryptically. The pile she was working on was one of those. She had found things such a Popsicle sticks stuck in a folder marked "So long and thanks for all the fish" Scully picked up the next file. It was marked "Life, the Universe and everything." Scully sighed. Mulder had spent way too much time on that Douglas Adams kick. She opened the file. Inside was a rubbing of one of the alien artifacts. As her fingers touched the rubbing, a loud howling filled her mind. Then hundreds and thousands of voices. Scully put her hands over her ears. The noise didn't stop, but got louder in it's intensity. 

Scully got to her feet, trying to get away from the voices. The difficulty getting around didn't matter. She had to be free. She screamed, trying to rid her self of the voices. That only made the voices grow louder. 

*MULDER! * Scully gasped telepathically, before she fell to the ground. "Help me, please help me. MULDER!"

Long moments passed. It felt like hours, instead of the few minutes that actually passed. 

Scully could feel Mulder rush to her side. He said something to her orally, but she couldn't hear him. The voices in her mind drowned out everything. 

"I can't hear you. The voices are too loud."

Mulder put a hand on each side of her face, and she could hear clearly. "What happened?"

"The file," Was all she could gasp. "Voices in my mind!"

Mulder got up, and looked at the file. "Oh my god!"  Mulder picked up the rubbing; he went to the trashcan. He took out a lighter. In an instant, the rubbing was on fire. 

 The voices faded, until she could feel only the thoughts of the people in the FBI building. Mulder was kneeling beside her. His voice sounded far away. "Scully, are you all right?"

"That thing,"

"It was rubbing from the missing piece, I found it in an old book." Mulder explained.

"Because of me, you've lost it."

"Don't worry Scully, I made a back up." Scully could feel concern from her partner. 

"The voices," She gasped. "I can still hear people talking in my mind."

Mulder reached up, stroking her forehead gently. She could feel his mind touch hers. "I'm going to take you to my apartment. There are people who can help you."

"Who?"

"You wouldn't believe me." Mulder leaned down kissing her gently. 


**********************




Mulder was angsting again. Scully could hear his worried thoughts as he carried her into his bedroom. Could feel his guilt as he gently set her on the bed. He blamed himself for Scully's voices. 

"Did you bring my crutches?" Scully asked.

"Of course I did." Mulder went into the bathroom, be brought out the white noise machine, and plugged it into the wall. Then her partner turned it on, and turned the dial to maximum. The voices faded to a very soft whisper. "How's that?"

"Much better."  Scully paused. "Is this how it was like for you?"

"It was worse." Mulder sat on the bed with her. "No one understood what I was going through. The hospital was one long nightmare. They would come in and shove me around. The would lay on me, and force needles in my arm." 

"Is that why you tried to kill that orderly?" 

Mulder's eyes grew haunted. "The orderlies at night where the worst. They held me down, and used my body. That's why I tried to kill them."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't have understood." Tears formed in Mulder's eyes. "Because of me, you might have to go through what I did."

Scully could feel the pain from Mulder. The shame that he felt for being attacked. The fact that he was terrified that Scully would have to be hospitalized. Scully reached out, taking his hand in hers. "I'm sorry I went to Africa."

"You had to. If you hadn't, I might still be in the hospital." Mulder kissed her hand, his lips lingering over her knuckles. *Love you."

"I love you too." 

Mulder pulled Scully into his arms. *A shared pain. * She could hear him think, as his lips descended onto hers. As the kiss deepened, she put her arms around him, pulling him down, onto the bed. Mulder's hand went to the hem of her shirt, pulling it up. His hand cupping her breast. With a flick, his fingers were unfastening the front fasting of her bra. He began to pinch her nipples. 

"What are you doing?" Scully gasped, as her body moved into his fingers.

"I was told, I was told that making love might be able to cure something like this." Mulder said hesitantly. "I love you. I want you to be well."

"You told me to give you time. If your not ready." 

"If this will cure you, I'm ready." Mulder's lip descended onto Scully's nipple. She could feel the tears drip onto her bare skin. She took his hand, and guided it to her leg. His fingers pulled Scully's skirt up, with much difficulty he helped her off with her underwear. Then the long fingers spent several minutes simply caressing the inside of her legs, always stopping just a few millimeters away from her wetness. 

*Please, * Scully begged.

*Please what? * 

*Make love to me with your fingers. * 

In an instant, Mulder's fingers where pinching her clitoris. He took her to the edge, then just as quickly, pulled her back. Again, and again he pushed her close to orgasm, every time, stopping just before she went over the brink.

*Why? * Tears in her eyes from frustration. 

*We must come at the same time, or it won't work. * Mulder paused. "We must fulfil our fantasies, no matter how kinky. Can you do that? *

Scully's fingers went to his crotch. It wasn't easy to unfasten his pants, not with her lover driving her mad. Finally she was able to unbuckle his belt, and unzip his zipper. Her hand went inside his pants, feeling for his hardness. Mulder was trudged, as her fingers touched it, it quivered.  Her fingers went around the shaft, squeezing. 

Scully pulled Mulder to her. Her lover came willingly, settling between her legs. She moved so that her broken leg was hanging off the edge of the bed. It wouldn't be hurt that way.

 Mulder's lips descended onto hers, as he slowly entered her. His finger entwined in hers, Mulder pulled her hands above her head, and slowly, very slowly began to thrust. 

Mulder pulled away from her a bit, looking into Scully's eyes. Then she felt his mind enter hers. She could feel Mulder's passion blended with guilt. It was hard for them to make love this way what with Scully not being able to use one of her legs. 

She wasn't sure who thought. *Behind* The idea excited her. 

*Yes* she could hear Mulder hiss in her mind. 

Mulder pulled out of her, picked her up, and carried her to the dresser. He found for her a stool, and pulled a drawer out. Scully put her good foot on the stool, and spread her legs so that the other was resting on the drawer. Then she leaned onto the dresser. 

Scully could feel Mulder's hands on each side of her then with a sharp thrust, he was inside her. One hand went around her front, kneading her breast hard. She would be bruised. 

"Look in the mirror." Mulder's voice was hoarse. "Watch me fuck you."

A thrill went through her mind. Mulder had remembered that Scully adored noisy sex. Mulder grabbed her by the hair and forced her to see herself. 

"Pretend there's a camera behind the mirror. You're making a movie with me. When I'm done with you, I'll give you to my friends. What should I do to you to show the other's your mind." 

"Whip me," Scully breathed. "Whip me. Please Mulder, please."

 "Fuck yourself, bitch." He ordered as he pulled out of her.  

Scully's fingers found her clit, pinching it, rubbing it. Then she noticed the flashlight beside her. She took it into her hand, and brought it to her vagina. She began to make love to herself with the flashlight, the knob caressing her insides.

Mulder took off his belt. He slammed it over and over again on her ass. Each blow fiery, each blow reminding her who she belonged to. 

*Yes, Mulder yes. * 

"Who do you belong to?" the blows got even harder.

"You only you."

"If I give you to another man, you'll still be mine."

"Yessssssssssssss." she was close to orgasm. *Please Mulder, come inside me. *

In answer, her lover ran his cock against the crack in her ass. Then just as suddenly, he pushed, and he was inside her tightness. Mulder put his belt around her neck, and began to thrust with abandon. 

Orgasm overtook Scully, at the same time; she could feel Mulder explode inside of her. For an instant, their minds were one. 

Mulder took the belt from around her neck, and she took out the flashlight. Mulder turned her in his arms, resting her back against the cabinet. Then he entered her again, kissing her lips gently. This lovemaking was gentler, more loving. With every stroke, Mulder told his love he was sorry. When the orgasm came this time, it was mutual and loving. 

*****************

The doorbell rang, Mulder pulled away from Scully. "It's them."

"Are you sure these people can help me?"

"It's worth a shot." Mulder helped Scully back onto the bed. She gasped as she lay on the bed.  He helped her straiten her clothes. There were fresh bruises on her legs from the beating he had given her. The doorbell rang again. 

"It's okay, answer the door." Scully told her lover. She refastened her bra, she yelped in pain as the cloth hit her bruised breast. 

As Mulder straightened his clothes, Scully took a silk scarf out of her coat pocket and wrapped it around the belt mark on her neck. 

"Scully..."

"Answer the door." She repeated as the doorbell rang yet one more time. *They might break it open. *

Mulder nodded. He left the room. *I could have killed her. *

*She's still telepathic. * Guilt washed over him. *I hurt her, and it didn't help. *

Mulder opened the door. Byers stood glaring at him. "I was giving you ten more seconds, then I would have broken in."

"Sorry, come in." 

Byers walked past him. Mulder shut the door. His friend looked him over. "Don't tell me you tried the sex cure?" 

"What else could I do?"

"You could have waited for me." Byers looked him over. "How hurt is she?"

"I don't want to talk about it." 

Byers smiled grimly. "It couldn't be that bad. I broke Langly's nose when he tried to cure me."

"How could he forgive you?"

"Langly asked for it." Byers walked towards the bedroom. "Is Scully dressed?"

"We didn't take off our clothes." Mulder confessed.

His friend raised an eyebrow. "Kinky."

Mulder opened the door to the bedroom. 

Scully looked at Byers her eyes grew wide. "You're like Mulder."

"What do you mean?" Byers asked.

"Your telepathic."

"Told you it wouldn't work." Byers gloated. "Frohike is the only one I know who can cure someone with sex."

"Frohike's telepathic too?" 

"Don't worry about that now." Byers looked at Mulder. "Turn of the white noise machine."



******************

 After examining Scully, Byers told Mulder they needed to talk in the kitchen. "Scully had that much of a reaction to just looking at the rubbing?" 

"Yes. She did." Mulder nodded.

"Scully couldn't have that kind of reaction unless she had some type of psychic abilities." Byers leaned against the kitchen sink.

"She didn't." Mulder said firmly.

"Are you sure?" 

"How many times did you touch her mind?" When Mulder didn't say anything, Byers looked at him. "Mulder, this is important. You need to tell me the truth. It could help Scully."

"Usually nightly." He admitted. "When I used the white noise machine."

"How long each time?"

"About thirty minutes."

Byers thought for several moments. "If Scully had any latent abilities, you might have triggered them into coming out."

"I did this to her?" Guilt began go overcome everything. 

"If you had told me, I would have made you stop." Byers told him. "Making love to her probably wasn't the best idea. It just cemented what ever powers she has."

"So she can't be cured?" 

"Not now, no."

"What can you do for her?"

"Not me, you." Byers said firmly.  "You need to teach her to close the doors in her mind."

"Why me?"

"Because your the one that did this to her."

"I'm not sure I know enough about telepathy to help her." Mulder said hesitantly.

"She needs you," Byers told his friend. "You can do it. You just have to have faith."

*******************

Mulder sat down beside Scully on the bed. He reached out taking her hand. He tried to close his mind so that she wouldn't feel the guilt that lived inside him.  "I'm sorry."

"I wanted you to whip me."

"It's not that." He couldn't look at her. "It was something else."

"What did you do?"

"Every night I forced my way into your mind. I was being selfish. I just wanted to be near you. I didn't know..."

"You didn't know what?" Scully was beginning to loose her patience.

"I didn't realize it would cause you to be telepathic."

"We made love, you told me you cured me."

"I told you I would try and cure you." He pointed out. "It didn't work. If you don't believe me, try touching my mind." Mulder placed her hand on his cheek. 

Scully could feel Mulder's thoughts, could feel the guilt coming from the core of his soul. "How did this happen?"

"My forcing you to try the cure was what did it. Can't you see what I did was wrong?" Mulder pulled the hem of her skirt up, reveling bruises and welts. "How can you forgive me for what I did to you?"

"I *asked* you to whip me." She reminded him. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"What about the times I invaded your mind? You didn't want that."

"But I wanted that too."

"You didn't even know I was there, so how could you want it?"

"The 7th of February was the first time I felt you inside my mind." Scully said slowly. "I welcomed it. It felt so intimate."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew it would stop." 

"I can help you make the voices go away." Mulder offered.

"I won't be telepathic any more?"

"I can't cure you of telepathy, but I can teach you to control it." Mulder took her hand in his. "Please Scully. I owe it to you."

"Yes, teach me." 

Mulder taught Scully to learn to close the doors and walls in her mind. He could feel the joy Scully felt as she realized that she would no longer feel voices. 

*Sleep with me tonight. * Scully telepathed. 

"Not tonight." Mulder got off the bed. "Perhaps not for a very long time."

"Why not?"

"Until I can trust myself not to hurt you, we can't sleep together. I love you Scully. Please try and understand. " With that, Mulder went into the living room, and laid on the couch. 
That night, a very angst ridden Mulder went over and over in his mind why he's lost Scully. How stupid he was to share minds with her. 

*Please Scully, forgive me. * Mulder thought as he fell asleep.