The Blue-Files (1/?)
by Kate
~~~X~~~
Mt. Thomas Police Station
Monday morning, 8:00am
"Did you lot steal my Tim Tams?" Tom
demanded angrily.
"Not me" Nick yelled back without even
looking up from his book.
Danielle Steel's latest romance novel.
Absolutely fascinating.
"This is bloody brilliant" he muttered.
He took another bite of his vegemite
sandwich, chewing it slowly.
Maggie arrived at work and eyed him with
a slight smile. "Good book, huh?"
Nick ignored her sarcasm.
"Best one she's ever written" he declared.
"Ah, so you've read them all?"
"For your information, yes, Margaret, I have.
Twice."
Maggie glanced at Tom, who was muttering
angrily as he hunted through the tiny
kitchen cupboard.
"What's he stewing about?"
"Reckons someone's nicked his Tim Tams.
If you ask me, he just ate them and forgot
to get any more."
"Probably."
Dash arrived, wheeling in her bike with PJ
behind her, holding a small, grey kangaroo.
Tom took one look at the kangaroo, which Dash
was now holding.
"I don't know what that thing's doing in
here but someone get it out before it
does it's business all over the floor.
And I assure you that I won't be the
one cleaning it up."
"But I had to bring him here" Dash protested.
"He... at least I think it's a he... was just
hopping along the footpath and I couldn't leave
him there. He could have been attacked by a
bunyip or something..."
"Ha ha. Very funny McKinley."
"Can we keep him here? Please Tom...I mean
boss?"
Tom sighed heavily. "All right. But this
is the last time. Understand?"
"Yep, thanks boss. I'll put him in the same
cell as Kinky the koala and Wally the Wombat.
I don't think he'll get on well with
Petronella the Platypus...
Oh yeah, um I, um...I couldn't find Tiger
when I went to feed him last night. Um, I
think he got lost in your office yesterday
when he got out of the cell."
"You have a *tiger* in my office?!!!"
"Of course not!!! Don't be silly Tom...
I mean boss. Tiger's a tarantula..."
She smiled at him sweetly and left the main
office.
"Has anyone else noticed that this place
is turning into a zoo?" Nick asked,
looking up from his book.
"I'll bet that the blasted koala took
my Tim Tams!" Tom said.
"C'mon boss, koalas don't eat Tim Tams.
You probably just misplaced them."
"I did not!" he replied indignantly.
"I'm going to call in someone who
understands what I'm going through.
Someone who is willing to fight for
their freedom, for their rights, for
their Tim Tams! I'm going to call
the F.B.I."
He put his hands on his waist in a
heroic pose.
Maggie bit her lip to stop herself
from laughing.
PJ turned away and conveniently busied
himself if a pile of three-month-old
paperwork.
With one last heroic glare, Tom stomped
off into his office. It was time to call
in THE PROFESSIONALS.
~*~
"Mulder."
Scully watched the expression on her
partner's face as he listened through
the receiver.
"Yeah... uh huh... yeah... we'll be
there as soon as we can."
He slammed down the reciever.
"C'mon Scully. We have to get going.
It's an emergency."
He grabbed his coat and threw her hers.
"There's not a minute to waste!"
Scully followed him out of the office
and along the corridor to the elevator.
"What is it Mulder? What's wrong?"
"A child has been abducted - disappeared
without a trace. His name is Tim. Tim Tam."
"That's an unusual name. Just like the
chocolate biscuits."
"I know Scully. And I think that there's
unexplained phenomena involved."
"You think that this child was abducted by
aliens?"
"I don't know. But the town where this
child disappeared from is a known UFO hotspot.
It also seems to have the highest crime rate
in the whole southern hemisphere!"
"Where is this place Mulder? I don't think
I've heard of it."
"It's a little country town in Australia,
called Mount Thomas. C'mon Scully, we
have to get the first flight to Australia!"
"But Mulder, what about luggage?"
"Luggage-smuggage. This is a case of life
or death, Scully! We have to get their
post-haste. Besides, those guys who were
stuck on Gilligan's Island for years and
years hadn't taken any luggage with them
and they survived."
"Mulder, that's just a TV show. It's not real."
Mulder looked shocked.
"WHAT?! Nobody ever told me that! ...Does
that mean that the Brady Bunch weren't
really one big happy family?"
"Mulder, you seriously need help."
"I know. But how can I use my good looks
and sparkling personality to convince Skinner
to fly us half-way across the world to investigate
the disappearance of a Tim Tam?"
"What sparkling personality? Mulder, I'm
serious. I think you have a really bad
psychological condition. Its called
'mysisterwasabductedbyalienswheniwas-
twelveandivespentmyentirelifelooking-
forherandasaresult I HAVE NO LIFE'.
Mulder, you have to get help."
"Don't be ridiculous Scully. I have a
perfectly normal life."
Scully burst out laughing.
"That's what the Brady Bunch always thought.
Now come on. We've got a Tim Tam to find."
~*~
"Life without him is unbearable... I don't
think I can go on" Tom moaned to himself.
Dash giggled as she watched through the
crack in the door.
"This is so funny" she whispered.
"Give us a look" Adam begged.
Dash moved aside and let him peek through.
"I can't believe he's so upset over
a pack of Tim Tams" Dash said scornfully.
"A pack of Monte Carlos maybe, or
those adorable little 'Pigs In Mud'
bickies, but this is ridiculous."
"Give the bloke a break" Nick said irritably.
"It's his own choice of who he marries.
He shouldn't had to marry Victoria just
because she's the mother of his children.
He loves Edwina!"
Adam and Dash both looked at him and snorted.
"Yeah, sure Nick" Adam grinned.
"Whatever you say."
~*~
Tuesday, 1:15pm
Nick blew hard on the gumleaf and the rest
of the gang sang along to the squeaky tune
of 'Waltzing Matilda,' swaying from side
to side as they sang.
Then suddenly the door opened.
They stopped singing.
Nick stopped in the middle of a note.
"Agents Mulder and Scully, F.B.I" said
the tall, dark and handsome man.
"We're here to investigate the
disappearance of Tim Tam."
There was suppressed laughter, quiet
giggling, and an urgent need to make sure
that Spanky the Kangaroo had plenty of food
and water.
Mulder and Scully were left alone in the
office.
Tom stuck his head out of his office,
his face tearstained and his face lined
from a long and sleepless night.
"You're the FBI agents?" he asked hopefully,
choking back a sob.
Mulder nodded his head soberly.
"Yes. We're here to help you find Tim Tam.
To fight against the evil that plagues our
terrestrial sphere. To bring light into
darkness, to feed the hungry and shelter
the homeless."
Tom looked a bit overwhelmed, but was
comforted by Mulder's words.
"Come into my office" he said quietly.
"We can talk in there."
~*~
"Now, Mr Croydon," Scully started. "You said
that you thought Tim was abducted by aliens.
Have you any proof to substantiate these claims?"
"Well, on Monday morning we received a lot
of phone calls concerning mysterious lights
above the station - a blue flashing light that
said "POLICE STATION". I have to admit that
we're all completely baffled."
Mulder nodded understandingly. "Hm. Ever since
1947 there have been reported sightings very
similar to what you just described. I think
that this is a classic case of an alien abduction."
Tom started to sob. "Is there anyway to get my
beloved Tim Tams back? Please - I'll do anything!"
Scully looked confused. "You mean there's *more*
than one Tim Tam?"