Phoebe's Songs!

When I play, I play for me
I don't need your charity!
Thank You!!

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty.
And a guy, let's call him Neil.
now I can't stress this point too strongly,
This story is'nt real.
Now our Neil must decide,
Who will be the girl that he casts aside.
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly,
or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide. He must decide.
Even though I made him up he must decide.

Double-Jointed Boy(196K)

He was a double, double, double-jointed boy

Stephanie(27K)

Stephanie knows all the chords!

The 66 Colours of My Bedroom(97K)

...fuschia and mauve
Those are the 66 colours of my bedroom!

Dumb, Drunken Bitch(79K)

...dumb drunken bitch!!

Sticky Shoes(With Leslie)

My favourite shoes so good to me
I wear them everyday
Down at the heel, holes in the toe
Don't care what people say
My feet's best friend, pals to the end
With them I'm one hot chicky
Though late one night
Not much light
I stepped in something icky

CHORUS:
Sticky Shoes, sticky shoes
Always makes me smile
Sticky Shoes, sticky shoes
Next time I'll avoid the pile

Jingle Bitch(102K)

Jingle Bitch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell!

Crazy Underwear

Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear...

My Sticky Shoe(111K)

My sticky shoe
My sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?

Parading Goats(116K)

Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats

Papier Maché(81K)

3 snaps
I, I'm still waiting for my paper maché man.

Tony Tarzan(65K)

Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on a nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...

Holiday Song(537K)

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along!
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah!
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please say hello to Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!

Little Fetus(100K)

Are you there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas!

Grandma(364K)

Now Grandma's a person who everyone likes.
She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
And last time you saw her, she looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died and someday you will too.
La la la....

Barnyard Animals(166K)

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo!
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo!
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nowwwwwwwwww chickens!

Don't(196K)

There'll be times when you get older
And you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them like you,
But DON"T
Cause thats another thing that you don't wanna do
Everybody!
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do.

Babies

They're tiny and chubby a so sweet to touch.
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry...

Bi-Sexuals(225K)

Sometimes men love women,
And sometimes men love men,
Then there are bi-sexuals
Thought some just say the are kidding themselves.
La la la..

Smelly Cat
Smelly Cat with Chrissie Hynde(163K)
Smelly Cat with the whole gang(303K)
Smelly cat, Smelly cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, Smelly cat,
It's not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses.

Crusty Old Man(54K)

...And the Crusty Old man said "I'll do what I can,"
And the rest of the rats played maracas!

In The Shower(200K)

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it.
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet,
And tegrin spelled backward is 'nirget'.

Blackout(220K)

New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me that is not scary,
Cause I stay away from dairy.
La la la la la...

Snowman(156K)

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'.
How was I supposed to know that my mum was dead in the kitchen.
La la la la la la la...

Cremated Mother(134K)

And my mother's ashes,
Even her eyelashes
are resting in a little yellow jaaaa-aaar.

My Coma Guy(438K)

You don't have to be awake to be my man.
As long as you have brain waves,
I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day.
There's something that I have got to say...

Love

Love is sweet as summer showers.
Love is a wonderous work of art.
But your love, your love,
Is like a giant pigeon
Crapping on my heart.
La la la la...

They Found Their Bodies(80K)

And they found their bodies the very next day,
They found their bodies the very next...

Terry's A Jerk

Terry's a jerk!
And he won't let me work!
And I hate Central Perk!