WEDGIES GALORE!!

Great, the first step is to come out of denial. It's okay to have the desire to inflict intense discomfort to the buttock region of another human being (gotta be human) for your own amusement, or as a conversation starter at a party.

Next, choosing your victim, er, medium is a step of its own. Generally, the best subject is a brief wearer. Your choice will depend on your height. You must be able to reach the person's waistband without having to bend over or stand on your toes. Also, make sure that: 1-they are indeed wearing underwear, otherwise, your hand could end up in some pretty nasty nether region. 2-they are wearing pants, shorts, or a skirt. Giving Wedgies to the dress-wearers is not a good idea. 3-they are not armed. 4-also, as a rule of thumb, your older victims will have a tendency to not even notice the Wedgie due to their habit of wearing their knickers unusually high as it is.

Now, if you are at a party, pick an opertune time. Do not attempt a Wedgie if, let's say, the person's drunk and leaning over the rail on the second floor. You could be charged with Manslaughter if they fell over due to the propulsion of the Wedgie.

Usually, the person must have their back towards you, unless yo're really good and experianced, like me. A two-hand Wedgie is the best route to insure a nice even cleave of material into the crevice. So, with both hands, at a distance apart where the buttockal region is separated into thirds, approach silently.

Once you are 3/4 of a foot away, stop and begin to extend your arms outwards, palms down. Once your hands are a cm from the waist band, stop. Take this time to ponder the meaning of life and whether or not you are willing to sacrifice this should your wedgie not go as planned. If the Wedgie is indeed worth it, then prepare to make history.

Everything worth doing, is worth overdoing. Always aim for the Atomic Wedgie. Your goal, to pull their waistband over their head. These next movements, must be quick and swift.... *Slip your fingers down their waistband (not too far) until your knuckles are at the point of horizon between skin and material. *Grasp with all your might. *Now. with an upward motion, let it all go!!! Lift!! Pull!! With all that's holy, WEDGIFY !!!!!

Fine Wedgie Links